A/N: OMG. You guys made my day! Thank you!

DuckiePray - Uh, surprise? Bet you were wondering where my plot twists were hiding. LOL So much to come from...him. And it may not be all bad. You'll see. *cackles*

musicluvr86- Big Bro Mode is fun to write; I missed it. Also, love hurts.

Sciencegal - You know.

CHAPTER 23: SOUL

Leonardo ran a thumb along his cracked Owl Eiehuia, inhaling. "What's a soul?" he asked.

'No,' answered Zaddir. She floated through Intzalan's darkness and pressured the mutant with pinpoint pupils. 'What do you consider a soul? Earthlings have an opinion as varied as their faces. Is it the part that prevents you from acting against what your society deems wrong? Your belief? Your dreams? Or is it the physical manifestation of your life force? Does it live in your heart? Mind? Or do pieces of it reside throughout your body, scattered from muscle to organ? Is it tangible? Intangible? What?'

Leo steadied his Lotus Position, despite the temptation to dismiss the Languu's orders and follow her flame-like Chi as it circled him. "That's a hard question," he said.

'Today is the day we face what's hard, Leonardo. We trained for this moment, and I must know.'

"Why?" Suddenly, the mutant felt as if the last few weeks of careful exposure to his nightmares had never happened and he squeezed his Eiehuia as his throat tightened.

The alien's aura brightened against the black, veins lined with solid white instead of dots. 'Languu believe our soul is our Yolloyo. They're our center, our unity. Without them, our current forms would be impossible. But Earthlings?' Zaddir either scoffed or cut off a laugh. 'They are complicated. Complicated yet fragile. If we lose a limb, we regenerate. You lose limbs, you could die. With no heart or liver or stomach, everything inside you shuts down. You have bodies without consciousness—vegetables, you call them? And bodies with minds that are sick, tortured. Like yours.'

Leo's expression steeled as Zaddir passed, her light disappearing towards the side.

'One thing you all agree on, however,' the Languu added, 'is that when one no longer feels alive, when in despair, they swear something real has been stolen from them.'

"Their soul."

'When I sensed you through Coyolxauhqui, I wondered how someone so set on death could survive so much pain. Like your body would not give up. Does that make your body your soul?'

"I don't have much choice in what my body survives anymore."

Zaddir paused; Leo felt her heat against his shoulder when her layered voice slowed. 'What those villains call IgRs are what give Languu their long lifespan. We share this in common now, to an extent, but it is not why you lived. Through the rage, guilt, self-loathing, and sorrow, something survived. A fraction of light from the past.'

"You think that'll help?" the mutant said, words choking him. "I won't ever be who I used to be."

'It's not a remnant of your old self,' the Languu answered. She began floating again as casual as her tone. 'It isn't even hope or will.'

"Wh—what is it then?"

'Family.'

Leo swallowed hard. Guess it was about time they were brought up, although he didn't consider them the reason he—

'Of course, they are,' Zaddir interjected.

The mutant jerked his head up to narrow his eyes. "Were you just—?"

Zaddir waved an arm, its afterimages creating an arch. 'You blamed them, Leonardo, on some level. Had they been faster, had they cared more, they would've found you before anyone died. Right?'

"It wasn't their fault. They—" Leo glanced down at his white-knuckled fist. It trembled.

'You couldn't stand being home, looking at their faces. They showed such concern when they had been the reason you suffered so long.'

That wasn't true! Well, maybe. When Leo considered it, he had often switched between two extremes at home: numbness and rage. And what triggered him? Smiles. Things his clan did to convince him everything would be okay or that they could return to normal, that their lives hadn't changed since they were fifteen. They were pretending, all except Splinter, who sent him away. Had that been for Leo's benefit or his?

The mutant growled, teeth clenched. "What's the point, Zaddir?"

'To accept that your anger is not unjustified,' Zaddir whispered—a haunting sound. 'Be upset, Leonardo. Admit it. Embrace it. And know that despite it, the light, your family, is the reason you still live. You can return home.'

Return? The mutant scoffed, although the idea sounded less abstract and obscene than usual. Perhaps his clan would be excited to see him. Even if he hadn't written lately. Did they think him dead? Maybe Huitzi would let him send a letter later.

'Focus, Leonardo.'

"On what?" The mutant huffed, easing his fist that felt molded to his Owl Eiehuia. "We were talking about souls. Now family. And—"

'Anchor.'

Leo inhaled through his nose then closed his eyes. He focused on the charm's texture—the chunky, frayed outside broken by chalk-like paint. It reminded him of the splinter that stabbed his thumb when Coyolxauhqui forced the charm back at him and he almost smiled at the memory of her flustered expression.

'Everything is connected, Leonardo,' Zaddir continued. 'We live in a world of cause and effect. Because of this, you can never be who you once were before Black Lotus. Nor should you want to be. You should want better, to be stronger. Which may not mean what you think. So you must decide where your soul resides, and focus on that light to keep it from dying any further.'

"Yo—you want me to focus on my clan, who you just reminded me I'm kind'a pissed at?" Leo asked with uneven lips. "So my soul doesn't die?"

Zaddir's oblong head shook. 'Not your family, what they represent, love. Keeping that at the back of your mind will make this process easier.'

"I thought that's what the anchor was for."

'Do you feel strong enough with only a charm in your hand?'

Leo avoided Zaddir's pit-eyes, silent while she sat behind him. The mutant was no stranger to the process; he kept poised when he felt heat against his temples and electricity through his skull.

"I," he whispered, "I honestly don't know where my soul is. I haven't felt it in…forever."

'It is there,' Zaddir whispered back. 'Fighting. You'll see.'

The electricity intensified, rousing pain and a smug-faced brunette in white. Exactly what Leo expected, yet nothing ever prepared him for Donald.

"Wow," Donald said. He glanced around Intzalan with a sour look. "Having an alien keep me out? Douche move there, Freak."

Leo kept composed, saying, "I know what you are."

"Uh, yeah." The man's scarred face scrunched. "Dead. Whose fault was that again?"

A gargle sounded in his throat as Stephens retracted a blade, and when Donald collapsed, the wound across his torso gushed.

'Inhaling, Leo forced the bloody memory away and met the brunette's smirk. "It was yours," he whispered. "You egged on Lombardo. You started the riot, got haughty with Stephens. You killed yourself."

"What choice did I have? We have?" Donald spread his arms then scoffed. "The little army ya promised never came."

"They came."

"Not before half the hall bit the dust, and ya and that little brat had yer DNA rewritten."

"I know, but…" The mutant could hardly breathe, let alone speak up. "They came. Too late, I admit, but they didn't forget. They saved us—"

"Excuse me, us?" Donald laughed—a stretched, sardonic sound that cut through Leo. "No, no. Saved you. And those other whiners. From who again? Stephens? Wasn't that Gray, though, not yer bros? Dumb bitch, am I right? Actin' like she had a chance at redemption or some shit."

Donald was right. Did the cyborgs think a last-minute betrayal would even the score? Sure, Nass had been programmed into attacking Leo and Fall had helped the others. But they had also kidnapped people. A little pain on their part wouldn't bring their victims back to life or restore their bodies. That kind of slight could never be fixed with one act, yet Donatello defended them. Hell, he had taken a lethal shot for Gray, hadn't he?

Donatello shoved Stephens with his staff, and the maniac laughed as his fat body rolled into a pile of rubble. When Donny faced Gray, a syringe protruded from his shoulder, shaft deep in his flesh. It wasn't long before he dropped and Gray roared.

The cyborg saved Donny at what cost? Recro-12. She had changed the genius without consent, just as she had helped change Leo and Kaiya. And Don defended her.

"How could he?" Donald asked. His growl shot adrenalin through the mutant, pulsing, hot.

Leo shook as he unclenched his Eiehuia to squeeze it between both his palms. "I know nothing about her," he whispered.

"What's there to know? She's a soulless bitch, a robot. She beat ya, stood by as Lombardo 'n Stephens experimented. Remember Matthew? She fuckin' compact him like a totaled car! Ya think there's anythin' human left inside that?"

"There must be."

"Why?"

"Because Donny believes in her." The mutant's shakes worsened. Yet despite his bitter memories, resentment, and cotton throat, he evened his tone, focusing on the pained love the genius spoke with whenever he mentioned the cyborg. "I don't trust Gray," he said. "I trust Don. He's cautious, devoted, a good judge of character with no patience for cruel people."

"How does that explain Gray then?"

"Like I said, I don't know her."

"So everythin' will be chill when ya head back? Ya'll accept her?" The brunette ran a hand through his hair, tugging its long curls. "That's stupid."

Leo shook his head in one short motion. "I won't accept her. Yet. But Donny…Donny loves her."

"And that makes everything okay?"

"No. But it makes it easier to give her a chance."

"Why the fuck would ya give that to her in the first place?"

"You know."

"How could I possibly know?"

Donald stooped with wild eyes and reached for Leonardo. The mutant never flinched. Unlike the fractured charm that left indents against his palms, the man wasn't real. Even if he were, Leo wore no gear for him to grab, and his dirty fingers stopped short of the mutant's shoulders.

'Very good, Leonardo,' Zaddir interjected. 'Now, face it. Admit it.'

"I know what you are," Leo added in an undertone. "I—I know why you won't let me sleep or have one good thought for more than a second. You haunt me because I think I deserve it. I—I—I shouldn't be alive. I failed. I failed, and you won't let me forget because…You're me, my guilt. You just wear Donald's face."

"So?" Donald sneered. "What are ya gunna do about it, Freak?"

"Live," Leo whispered. The man's brows furrowed; it seemed the mutant surprised even himself. "If my body won't let me die, it's my only choice."

"Maybe ya haven't tried hard enough to die."

"Maybe. Doesn't matter. I—I can't stand the hollowness anymore. I want my soul back."

"What soul?"

"It's there, Leonardo," a new voice butted in. Joseph sat beside the mutant, smiling as he placed a hand over Leo's pectoral scute. It felt real, more real than Donald's bad breath, and brought a calmness that slowed the mutant's heart.

"You're my hope," Leo told him.

The Chinese man's smile strengthened.

"Bullshit," Donald added. "He's just here as another bad reminder. Like Abigail and Chandler and me."

"He doesn't have to believe that," Joseph countered. "Do you, Leo?"

"I—" Leo wanted to say yes; Joseph proved it. Yet he shook his head. "You're all part of me," he said. "And I will face every side. In time."

'Correct.' The electricity through Leo's head pulsated with Zaddir's eagerness. 'Do you know now? Have you found it again?'

Found what? His soul? Leonardo looked down at the Owl Eiehuia and studied its yellow eyes. To him, a soul was purpose, a reason to live, to move forward. Who had given him reason for anything lately? Coyolxauhqui. She never gave up, despite Leo's cynicism. She kept reaching towards him, physically and spiritually, and when the mutant thought of her, his tranquility grew tenfold.

'Leonardo.'

Leo waved a three-fingered hand at Zaddir behind him. "I—I can't say yet," he told her. "I think my soul is…changing? But."

'You sense it.'

"Yeah, I…I do."

'Then you have succeeded for today.'

What an odd word, succeeded. It stuck with Leonardo as Zaddir's lowered her hot hands. The buzzing in his brain ebbed as Joseph and Donald faded, and he felt light as he rose from the ground.

'There will be more to face,' Zaddir added.

Leo half-smiled up at the Languu. "I can do it," he said. "I mean, we've come this far."

'Yes.' Zaddir's voice softened. 'And now someone is waiting for you.'

Coyolxauhqui waved at Leonardo the moment she spotted his green body along the trail that led into K'ekchi Village. She approached him before he reached its gates, a little winded and sore.

"Coyo," Leo said, "is everything alright?"

"Quema, quema," Coyo answered. Her bruised ribs burned from running, but they way Leo watched her left little room for pain or concern. "Attack many sun cycles before."

"It was, like, less than a month ago."

"Tlan?"

Leo sighed, features softening with a smile. "Just be careful. Please."

Coyo lost her voice. Huitzi had asked the same thing, yet he never made her stomach churn like the turtle-man did. She nodded, wordless, then forced her attention on the pathway.

"You sure you're feeling well?" Leo continued. "You look pale."

"Coyo happy," the young woman said. "Felt Zaddir. Leo do good?"

"Actually? I did damn well, I think." The mutant's chuckle drew Coyo's gaze. She watched him without turning her head, his profile striking against the yellowish sky. "I feel…peaceful. It's weird."

"Weird?"

"Strange. I mean, even before, uh"—he drew in a sharp breath—"everything, I rarely felt this content. Not since I was a teenager."

"Leo better," Coyo said. She found Leo's grin infectious and mirrored it. "Zaddir help."

"She does. And even though we have more progress to make, I—I dunno. I feel like it'll get easier." The turtle-man glanced down at Coyo and his smile froze as if doing so was a mistake. His looked away, clearing his throat as his pace slowed. "I've been trying to find myself for a long time. Today, Zaddir made me realize that can only happen if I reclaim my soul. And I realized on the way here that means I…I must fight."

"Fight?" Coyo whispered. Her joy fell as she stopped along the pathway, watching the turtle-man do likewise.

"Fighting is part of me," he said. "There's a ghost inside, who says otherwise, but it's true. Once, I felt alive when I was at the head of my team, protecting and guiding. I want to feel that again."

Coyo balled her fists, jaw clenched. "Leo purpose war? Death?"

"No. In the sense of being needed as a leader and a brother. You of all people should understand."

"Coyo no see difference."

"You should." Leo stepped forward to reach for Coyo's shoulder. His voice lowered, his red-brown eyes set on her. "You're Chieftain. Nothing will change that. Nia realized when she could no longer run. Why can't you?"

"War pain."

"And it won't stop unless you make it. There's too much at stake at this point. Which means the Tonalquizca need to get back out there."

"Leo—"

"I'll help." Leo's assurance left Coyo slack-jawed, and his thumb sent tingles through her body as he massaged her collarbone. "I'm not in the best shape," he added. "But neither are you. So why not do it together?"

"Together?" the woman whispered.

Leo nodded then he reclaimed his hand with a sheepish grin. "I want to train again. With you and your warriors. I—I want to fight beside you. Would that be acceptable?"

"Quema," Coyo whispered. She had no idea why she agreed so readily, just that when Leo spoke, she felt capable of the impossible. Even of leading.