If you're still with me, thanks for sticking around!

Standard disclaimer still applies.

.::9

"Yes, but look at the counts. I don't think a transplant will have enough time to do any repairs before we're hitting liver failure. And chances are that if the immature stem cells didn't make a difference, the mature ones may not have much of a chance either," Robert Chase leaned back on the couch as the oncologist paced the small area of his office floor.

"But how many mistake factors were we looking at with the cord blood? Their age, handling, improper storage. We're not even assured they were in pristine condition when they were given to him, so I think we should give it another try. Bone marrow is less risky and has minimal complications associated with harvesting." Wilson sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as he regarded the younger intensivist's stare. "The numbers in the study Cuddy found are encouraging enough that I think we should still try this option first."

"I don't think we should chance it. Just transplant a piece of liver and be done with it before more time goes by and he needs a whole liver instead."

The small strangled noise from behind Wilson's desk caused both men to turn apologetically.

"Oh, Shelly. I'm so sorry. I forgot you were sitting there," Wilson said but Shelly stopped him with a raised hand.

"It's alright. I knew what the odds were if the cord blood approach didn't work out. It's just that hearing it makes it all a bit..." she paused and then rose from Wilson's desk chair. "I think I'll just take a little break and go down to the cafeteria. You can come and find me when you decide what we need to do." Shelly quickly slipped through the office door and Wilson slumped into one of the chairs usually reserved for his patients, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"Jesus, I can't believe what I must be putting her through," he sighed out loud.

Chase leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he studied the older doctor for a moment. "You knew about House having a daughter the whole time?" he finally asked curiously.

Wilson sighed again and straightened up in the chair. "I didn't know it was his, at first. I had heard about Shelly's music therapy work when I was just starting as an oncologist here. I invited her up for an interview to try and get something started in Princeton, and that's when she and House met back up again. It wasn't until after she had left him that I finally convinced the board to look into a program like hers, so I had gone back to Philadelphia to ask her about it. When I saw her, I must say I was surprised to see her pregnant, and to be honest, I did wonder if it was House's baby. But the look she gave me was confirmation enough. I think she thought I was the devil himself, she was so terrified to see me." Wilson smiled slightly, and Chase just shook his head. "I wasn't sure until after Diedre was 4, though. I had just kind've pushed it out of my mind for a little while, and then one day I saw Shelly with her at the family day picnic we do for the cancer patients. She had his eyes, and they looked at me with that same look he has, where he sizes you up before speaking. She did the exact same thing. Just gave me an assessing look and then decided to take my hand and lead me over to the games tables so I could play with her." Wilson shook off the memory and sobered again.

"I just don't get it. He had said that they were friends. How can you say she's a friend when you just push her away, and not even know she's carrying your own baby?"

"Well, we're talking the difference between pre and post infarction House. You would probably understand more if you had seen them together. The way he treated her. She would have followed him to the ends of the earth if he had asked, but he never saw her like that. Even now I think there's a little flame left for him in there, somewhere," Wilson stopped when he saw a flicker of some unnamed emotion flash over Chase's face. Of course Chase would probably understand. Marrying a woman who was once in love with the same man probably gave him some insight. Tabling the conversation, Wilson tried to get back to making their decision.

"So, about Diedre. I really think it would be easier to just go with the bone marrow harvest for now."

"Well. It's one operation or two. I think one operation, take a piece of the liver, and she's done. A lot less stress on the body than doing it twice. Longer recovery, possibly, but if you add up the recovery for the two operations combined...I just think it wouldn't pay off to fool around when we already know what we need here."

There was a moment of silence as Wilson digested his words. "I guess we also should just run this by the man himself. To see what he has to say."

Chase nodded in agreement and the two rose to go discuss the decision with House.

An hour later, Wilson was wandering the halls of the hospital looking for Shelly as twilight darkened the hospital windows to a deep navy. He carried a cooling cup of hot chocolate as a peace offering while he struggled vainly to find the petite figure with the head of dark hair. Doubling back he decided to just retreat to his office and call her when he spotted movement in the shadowy interior of House's office. Pushing through the door he admired her trim figure silhouetted against the window that looked outside over the balcony, but he brushed the thought aside as he took in her closed posture and how she had her arms wrapped around herself.

She's scared. And all alone. Scared for Diedre. And for House too, probably. Lucky bastard never even appreciated what he had with her.

"Hey, Shell," he said softly as he approached so that he could avoid startling her. When she turned Wilson's heart gave another squeeze at the sight of her moist eyes and damp cheeks.

"Oh, James. Thanks," she said as she accepted the cup and took a sip. Then she smiled at him more fully. "You never forget anything, huh?" she asked, referring to the fact that he remembered she preferred hot chocolate to tea or coffee. The oncologist gave a sheepish smile and she laughed. "It's no wonder to me why you married so many times. A girl could get used to this." She swiped at her cheeks a little with the back of her hand as she put the cup on the edge of House's desk. Her fingers lingered and touched a few of the diagnostician's objects, and instinctively Wilson just waited to let her build up her courage.

"Where's Diedre?" he finally asked.

"I sent her home with Blythe. It's been a long day for them and I figured I could let her get in some permit practice without her dreaded mother commenting on her driving." Shelly made a face and then finally, she looked up and Wilson could read the resignation in her eyes. "So?" she asked softly. "What's the verdict?"

"We told House that his best shot is to just go for the partial liver transplant, but he refuses to make a decision without Diedre's consent."

Shelly gave an inelegant snort at the answer. "As if she'd refuse him. She only got her father three weeks ago. That isn't enough time for the novelty to wear off so she'll throw him back." Shrugging slightly she looked down at the desk again. Wilson could sense she was wrestling with something, and so he reached out and touched her other arm with his hand.

"Look, if you're worried about Diedre, the risks of the surgery are minimal. You said she already had anesthesia once, so we're not concerned with her having a reaction to that. And she's young, still growing. She should be fully healed in about 2 years. Just in time to start using it in college."

Shelly offered a wry smile at his little joke and then pressed her lips together. "It's not that I'm worried about what will happen with Diedre. I mean, I am worried, but its not just about the surgery." Shelly puffed up her cheeks and then blew out the air in a steady stream. Finally she straightened and looked Wilson in the eye. "How do you do it, James? How are you around a man who just takes and takes without him sucking you in?" Wilson released her arm to rub the back of his neck and Shelly continued with more energy. "That's what I'm afraid of. He's going to take Dee away from me. Not by the surgery going wrong and me losing her, but by the surgery being a success, and by him living another day. Another week. Another year! He's going to heal and get better, and get to know our-MY daughter better everyday. And I'm going to lose her. You know how he is when he holds a grudge, and I messed up. I admit it. He's a charmer, and smooth talking, and he always gets what he wants. I should know, of all people! And right now he wants Diedre. I can see it in his eyes." Shelly bitterly grabbed for the hot chocolate and took a long drink, then tossed the remains in the trash bin under House's desk. Turning back to the window she stood with her face turned up the the sky and the dusk created little shadows under her eyes and on her throat, mirroring the marks of sadness Wilson had seen when he came in. "But what hurts the most is that I think I still love him," she continued softly. "After all this time, and no matter how much I think I just want him to drop dead...the thought of him being gone - permanently-" Shelly covered her mouth with her hand and Wilson touched her back between her shoulder blades as she pulled herself together. Moving behind her Wilson stared out and up over her shoulder and kept one eye on her reflection in the glass as he began.

"Almost two years ago, my girlfriend died." He saw Shelly start and try to tell him she was sorry but he stopped her. "No, no, you didn't know. It's alright. Her name was Amber. I met her when she was working as one of House's interns, and even afterwards we kept it a secret. The whole time I had this idea in my head about how he was going to react when he found out about us. How mad he was going to be. But the thing that made him react was just the fact that I was keeping her identity a secret. After he figured it out, and really was sure this was good for me, he was very cool with the whole thing. I mean, not without the occasional ribbing about our relationship, this is House we're talking about, after all." Shelly's reflection gave a little smile of understanding and Wilson continued. "But then they were in an accident together, the bus they were on got hit by a truck." For a moment, Wilson thought he could see Amber's face in the glass before him, but then he mentally shook himself tried to find the right words to help Shelly. "It took me a long time to forgive him for living when she didn't survive. To move on. And believe me, at the time I thought that the miserable bastard should have traded his life for hers. But the thing is, he did. He tried. He tried everything he could to find her, save her. To give me something back besides a cranky, addicted, misanthropic jerk I had to keep worrying over like the child I never had. Deep down inside, he really does care about people." The pair stood separated by their own spheres of thought as the shadows grew longer inside the office.

Finally, Wilson spoke again. "Shell, to tell you the truth, I don't know if House is going to take Diedre away from you as much as your child is going to bring you two back together."

Shelly tipped her head forward to rest on the glass and Wilson could see her shoulders slump. "That's what I was afraid of," she answered softly.

Touching her back, Wilson motioned for her to follow him. "C'mon. I'm the one who dragged you into this mess, the least I can do is drive you home. Maybe we can stop for dinner on the way if you want to give Diedre more alone time with her grandmother." Shelly gave him a sad smile as she took his proffered arm and let him lead her away from the darkness.

-tbc