Sasuke stumbled out of his bedroom the next morning for a glass of water, hoping to find the kitchen empty. He hadn't slept at all the night before.
But the kitchen wasn't empty: clearly his bandmates had returned early, because Naruto and Kiba were standing by the counter.
"You look like shit," Kiba said, chuckling, when Sasuke came in. "Long night? Must've been fun, having the place to yourselves."
"Fuck off," Sasuke muttered.
"What's up with you, man?" Naruto said, frowning. "Did you guys have a fight?"
"I said. Fuck off." Of course Naruto, with his dumb, uncanny sense of Sasuke's emotions, would guess it right.
"No, you don't get to do that," Naruto said, suddenly sounding angry. "You tell us what happened."
"Yeah. We had a fight. Broke up," Sasuke said. He walked out before he could see their faces and went back to his room. He slammed the door behind him, a clearer sign than anything that he wanted them to leave him the hell alone.
A few minutes later, however, there was a heavy knocking on his door. "You better let me in, asshole," Naruto said.
Sasuke ignored him, and there was a crash as the door flew open and Naruto came inside.
"What the fuck," Sasuke growled, eyes narrowed. "Get out."
"What did you say to her?" Naruto demanded. "This is your fault, I know it is!"
"How would you know," Sasuke said, his words dripping in irritation.
"'Cause I know you!" Naruto was rarely this upset, and it was almost unsettling.
"We had a fight. I was fucking stupid," Sasuke muttered, and he only admitted it because he was tired and this was Naruto. "I said…Never mind." He didn't even want to think about what he had said, even though the words he'd exchanged with Sakura had replayed in his mind all night.
"No shit you were fucking stupid," Naruto said. "You're such an idiot."
Sasuke glared at him. "I don't need this from you."
"Yeah, you do, otherwise you're just gonna sit here and sulk! You have to go talk to her!"
"What am I supposed to say?" Sasuke frowned at Naruto. "You think she's actually gonna want to listen to me?"
"Apologize, first of all! Come on, teme, don't you care about her?"
"Of course I care about her," Sasuke said in a low voice, and he couldn't help the emotion that was coming across.
"But you're just gonna let her go?" Naruto said, raising an eyebrow. "'Cause it doesn't look like you care enough."
"I cared too much," Sasuke said, eyes narrowed. His voice was barely audible.
"Then tell Sakura that!"
"We'll never forgive you if you don't apologize," Kiba said to Sasuke when he returned to the kitchen later that day.
"It's none of your business," Sasuke said.
"Of course it's our fucking business! You realize the four of us are family, right? And you're the only one of us who hasn't realized that Sakura's the best thing that's ever gonna happen to you. So you better fix it."
Naruto, who was sitting at the table, nodded furiously. "He's right and you know it."
Sasuke didn't leave his room for the rest of the day, ignoring any conversation going on outside. He left his phone on, but ignored anything coming in, only looking for one name that he knew was never going to show up. Why the hell would she call you, he thought to himself, disgusted, yet he still glanced at his phone too often.
Everything Sakura had said was right, though he didn't want to think about it. But a nagging feeling told him that every objection she'd had to what they shared with each other had been valid. Their whole relationship had been one-sided. He'd tried to keep it light, with sex and not much else. But his emotions had gotten the better of him, maybe even more than hers had. There was no way to come back from that, if the way he was feeling now was any indication.
Naruto came back a few times and pounded on the door, repeating the same things he'd said before, but Sasuke didn't acknowledge him. Kiba hadn't attempted to talk to Sasuke since their last conversation.
"You fucked up," was all Shikamaru said to Sasuke, because he'd poked his head in later that first day. No lectures, but that wasn't his style. Sasuke could feel his disapproval wafting through walls for two achingly long, sleepless days.
And he knew he had to fix this.
Sakura wanted to believe that he didn't mean it. Something told her that he cared. Sasuke Uchiha pushed people away, that was obvious from just about everything he did. But he wasn't the person he tried to be. She was sitting on the couch, doing nothing, and suddenly Sakura was so, so angry.
There was a hard knock on the door and Sakura didn't know if it was him or one of her people. She hadn't talked to anyone recently, they were probably freaking out. Her phone lay on the kitchen table, untouched since she'd returned from the night at Sasuke's. The few hours of wallowing had turned into two days, and she hated herself for it but also couldn't bring herself to go to meetings or the studio (or change out of an old tank top and sweatpants).
A moment later the knocking came again, more persistent, and she was filled with irritation. She didn't care what she looked like right now, so she crossed the room in a few strides and wrenched the door open.
"Fucking…" She wasn't ready to see him, not really, and that hit her as soon as she realized who it was. But to his credit, Sakura also wasn't prepared for what he looked like, standing outside her door. If his physical appearance was any indication, Sasuke had been affected by this as well. His hair was tousled, much more so than usual, and there were heavy bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week, and the thought gave Sakura a sick sense of satisfaction. "What the fuck do you want."
"Have to talk to you." The way he was looking at her was slightly unnerving. Sakura hated the effect that just his eyes had on her.
"Yeah?" She challenged.
"Come on, Sakura," he said, irritated.
"What do you want me to say? Oh, come on in, Sasuke. Feel free to wipe your feet on me before you come all the way inside. Because that's what I'm good for, isn't it?"
"Stupid," he muttered, and it made her angrier.
"Well, that's me. Stupid, naïve Sakura who was too dumb to see that of course fucking Sasuke Uchiha wouldn't actually care about someone's feelings. Why should I be any different?" She rolled her eyes and laughed humorlessly. "I really was an idiot, wasn't I?"
"You're not an idiot," Sasuke said, and suddenly he seemed angry. Like their last conversation, heat was escalating in seconds. "I went too far, I didn't mean what I fucking said—"
But for Sakura, there was at least some catharsis in this confrontation. "How is that even possible?" She cut him off. "What you said? That's not the kind of thing you say in the heat of the moment! That's the kind of thing to say if you want someone totally gone from your life. And you did a pretty good job, too, so I have no idea why you're even here. Do you actually feel guilty about it?"
"Of course I feel guilty," Sasuke said through gritted teeth, and she felt a slight twinge of surprise at his candor. But not nearly enough to step back.
"Yeah?" She glared at him, not caring how close he was to her. If he thought that was enough, he was kidding himself.
"Yeah. I fucking love you."
Several emotions crossed Sakura's face, and she took a step backward. "Stop."
"I'm serious," Sasuke said, and he took a step over the doorway. "Don't share stuff with people. I don't get close. I freaked out."
Sakura was watching him, eyes narrowed, but she didn't interrupt, which meant she wanted more of an explanation.
"It's protection, or something," Sasuke muttered, because he felt like an idiot talking about this. He hadn't really thought about what he was going to say, because he hated the idea of saying something rehearsed. But he hated this, too. "Had a bad day and you were asking questions and I blew up."
"I know," Sakura said flatly. "Jesus Christ, Sasuke, it's obvious. You're so afraid of being vulnerable, you put up walls against anyone you could possibly care about. I know it's supposed to be self-preservation, but, well...It's awful."
"Hn."
"You're a fucking idiot, Sasuke," she said, and looked more upset than anything. "So what, did you finally have an epiphany about that or something? Is that why you're here?"
"Yeah," he said, because it was embarrassing and true. "I'm sorry," Sasuke said, and the words were hard to say but he was pretty sure it was the only thing he had to try and fix this. "For everything I said."
"You're so stupid," Sakura muttered, taking a step toward him. "So fucking stupid."
And then she was kissing him angrily, and he was kissing her back, more desperate than anything. Sakura dug her fingernails into his neck, pouring out her anger onto his lips and showing him how much he'd hurt her.
She slammed him against the wall and pinned his arms while she kissed him, and he just wanted more of this because the past few days had drained him. He wrenched himself away from the wall and they moved into the tiny kitchen, where he pressed Sakura up against the counter, and she jumped up and hooked her legs around his waist. He had his hands on her butt to keep her up, and she plunged her hands into his hair, digging her fingers in to the roots. Sasuke's mouth moved down past her jaw and down her neck, and Sakura let out a sigh and arched her head back. Then she shoved him back, her eyes slits, and kissed him along his jawline. He felt the tip of her tongue and couldn't help inhaling sharply, and they both knew exactly what the other one was doing. "Fuck, Sakura," Sasuke got out, and she let out a slight, almost angry laugh.
Sasuke hoisted her up so she was sitting on the counter and pushed his hands into her tangled hair. Sakura's lips returned to his mouth, and they stayed like that for a few long seconds. She grabbed the back of his neck, fingers pressing into his skin, and Sasuke held her waist. Sakura leaned farther into it, and his teeth brushed hers with a click before she tilted her head and pulled at his bottom lip. He pushed forward, tightening his grip on her waist, and then suddenly Sakura slid down off the counter.
"No," she said, her voice softer. "No no no, we can't do this right now…"
"What?" Sasuke murmured. He had grabbed her in case she lost her balance, and their mouths were only an inch apart. He made to kiss her again, but Sakura took a step back.
"Sasuke. We have to figure stuff out," Sakura said, attempting to collect herself. They stared at each other for a moment, both breathing hard.
"Figure what out?" Sasuke asked her, his voice coming out hoarse. Sakura's face was flushed, but it looked like the anger was starting to drain out. Her eyes were wide and open, the way he was used to.
"This. Us," Sakura said. She ran a hand through her hair, looking agitated, and took a step back.
Sasuke nodded.
"Which means you have to listen," Sakura said, staring at him.
"Yeah," Sasuke muttered.
Sakura took a deep breath. "If it's going to work, we have to be open with each other. Or at least, you have to be open with me." She frowned.
"I know," Sasuke said.
"You say that, but you know what I mean, right? You can't shut me out, or blame things on having a bad day." She frowned.
Sasuke avoided her eyes, suddenly embarrassed. "Yeah." He felt like a little kid.
"And we tell each other stuff," Sakura said. "Relationships are complicated. Things aren't going to be great all the time. But we can be there for each other, can't we?"
"Aa. Of course," Sasuke said, and he was surprised by how much he meant the words. But this was Sakura, and he'd been given a second chance. He was determined not to screw it up. And also…If he wanted to be there for anyone, it was her.
"Okay," Sakura said, nodding. She felt young and hesitant, but this was also the most awkward she'd ever seen Sasuke. It gave her a boost of confidence, the fact that they were both on even ground for once. But she wasn't going to go into this a second time with any misgivings, and the air had to be cleared once and for all. "Sasuke, I'm not gonna be able to take another conversation like that. Or argument, whatever it was. I'm not sure if you know this, but you're really, really good at hurting people. I know why you do it, but it was…I don't know."
Sakura didn't know if she imagined it, but it looked like he winced at her words. "I never want to do it again," Sasuke said in a low voice. "Not to you."
"I know we're going to fight," Sakura said, "It's impossible to avoid, and that's okay. But I have that whole conversation emblazoned in my brain word for word, and I…I just need some assurance, I guess." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "It's that insecurity, since you're Sasuke Uchiha and it was one of those things I couldn't help being afraid of. That you'd just drop me. And you did it so quickly."
Sasuke looked her right in the eyes, and she felt the intensity radiating from him. "I'm never going to drop you. I'm not like that, and you're…Way too important."
Her stomach flipped over, and Sakura knew she probably looked like she'd been struck dumb. But when he gave her looks like that…It was too much (probably in a good way). "I—Good." She blushed. "You—You're really important to me, too. More than I wanted." She bit her lip, and Sasuke smirked.
"What?" she asked, immediately frowning.
"Tch. Nothing," Sasuke said. He glanced down, and then back up at her. "Thank you. For giving me a second chance."
"You're welcome. Though you should really be thanking your dumb good looks." She couldn't help grinning, despite the underlying emotion of the whole exchange.
Sasuke rolled his eyes, and then frowned at her. "So is everything okay now?" He sounded almost hesitant.
"Yeah…I think so." Sakura smiled tiredly. "I guess we'll see, right?"
"Hn. Right."
Sakura leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling him lean in towards her too. It was a moment that, in the future, would always be an immediate source of comfort.
"I don't want this to be private anymore," Sasuke said suddenly.
Sakura pulled back and looked at him, surprised. "Seriously?"
Sasuke frowned and nodded. "It's stupid. Easier if we just come out with it. For real." He glanced at her, and she figured they were both thinking of the stunt they'd pulled at the Winter Festival.
A smile spread across Sakura's face. "Okay."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, we've talked about the implications, haven't we? And I've thought about it. It'll be fine." 'Fine' probably wasn't the right word for it, but she had put a lot of thought into it over the past few weeks, before the argument. And finally knowing Sasuke's feelings made her certain about the whole thing.
"As long as you're sure," Sasuke said. Sakura knew that he was thinking about the implications it would have on her career.
"Hey, I did just win the award for best new artist," Sakura said, giving him a mischievous grin. "And I got to the top of the charts without you. I'll get through it."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Tch."
Naruto took one look at Sasuke's face when he came back to the apartment the next morning and grinned. "So…"
Sasuke rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling slightly. "Back together."
"YES!" Naruto pumped a fist.
Kiba came into the kitchen. "Naruto, he was gone overnight. Did you seriously not put the pieces together?" He was grinning.
"I just wanted to make sure," Naruto said. "So, did you guys yell at each other again? Or did you get down on your knees and beg for her to take you back? Or did—"
"None of your business, dobe," Sasuke said.
"Well, at least we know they had crazy make-up sex," Kiba said.
"You need to shut the fuck up," Sasuke said to him.
"Oh, come on, man. Tell me you didn't."
Sasuke turned to the fridge and didn't respond.
"Ha!" Kiba said, and Naruto cackled. "I'm gonna go wake up Shikamaru and tell him."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ."
"Hey, come on, teme. This is big," Naruto said. "We all care about her."
"I've noticed," Sasuke muttered.
"She makes you better. 'Cause she's ten times the person you are."
"Yeah, I know," Sasuke said. And he did.
A/N: If you couldn't tell, I had a hard time deciding which POV to use in this chapter. Sometimes it's fun to switch it around a little bit.
Also, if you're interested...'Personal' is by Tori Kelly, who was my main inspiration for Sakura's sound (especially her live/acoustic stuff). Hopefully that won't mess up your internal picture of what Sakura sounds like; leaving that up to interpretation is probably best :) But just for good music's sake, go check out Tori Kelly, she's awesome.