CHAPTER VIII: The Queen's Croquet-Ground

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden. The roses growing on it were white, but there were three people at it, dressed inappropriately and busily painting the flowers red. Prim thought this a very curious thing and went nearer to watch them, and just as she came close, the little girl recognized them to be her sister's prep team.

Venia took a step back to look at her outfit and said, "Look out now, Flavius! Don't go splashing paint over me like that. You know red is not my colour."

"I couldn't help it,' said Flavius, in a sulky tone. "Octavia jogged my elbow."

On which Octavia looked up and said, "That's right, Flavius! Always lay the blame on others."

"You'd better not talk," said Flavius. "I heard the Queen say only yesterday that you deserved to be beheaded."

"What for?" asked Venia.

"That's none of your business, Venia," said Octavia.

"Yes, it is her business!' said Flavius, "and I'll tell her: it was for bringing Greasy Sae tulip-roots instead of onions."

Octavia flung down her brush and had just begun "Well, of all the unjust things—" when her eyes chanced to fall upon Prim as she stood watching them. The woman checked herself suddenly, the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

"Would you tell me," asked Prim, a little timidly, "why you are painting those roses?"

Flavius and Octavia said nothing, but looked to Venia.

Venia began in a low voice, "Why the fact is, you see, miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know, because white roses remind her of her enemy. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, before she comes to—"

At this moment Flavius, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out "The Queen! The Queen!" and the prep team instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces.

There was a sound of many footsteps, and Prim looked round eager to see the Queen. First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; their bodies were all shaped like oblong and flat with their hands and feet at the corners. Next, the ten courtiers, these were ornamented all over with diamonds and walked two and two as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand in couples; they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Prim recognised Beetee; he was talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said and went by without noticing her. Then followed a displeased Katniss carrying the Queen's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, concluding this grand procession, came the King and Queen of Hearts.

Prim was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like the prep team, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions. And besides, what would be the use of a procession, thought she, if people had all to lie down upon their faces so that they couldn't see it? So she stood still where she was and waited.

When the procession came opposite to Prim, they all stopped and looked at her, and as they continued to stare at her with a look of perplexity, Prim finally realized who had stopped before her. "Well," began Prim, "Head Gamemaker Plutarch Heavensbee a king? More like kingmaker." And when prim turned to the Queen, she snickered at absurdity before her. "President Coin. Fancy you being an actual queen. No wonder people call you a despot behind your back?"

The Queen said severely, "Who is this?" She had posed the question to Katniss, who only bowed and smiled in reply, not wanting to betray her little sister.

"Idiot, Mockingjay," said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently. And turning to Prim, she went on, "What's your name, child?"

"My name is Prim, so please your Majesty," said Prim very politely, for she decide to play along with the president's ruse; but she added, to herself, Why, they're only a pack of cards, one dimensional at most. After all. I needn't be afraid of them.

"And who are these?" asked the Queen, pointing to the prep team who were lying round the rose tree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces and their clothing matched nothing typically seen in District 13, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own entourage.

"How should I know?" replied Prim, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed "Off with her head! Off—"

"Nonsense!" interrupted Prim very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent. "You are not a Queen; you are an elected President."

Plutarch laid his hand upon Coin's arm, and timidly said "Consider, Madam President...your Majesty, she is only a child."

Behaving more like a Queen, Coin turned angrily away from him, and said to the Katniss, "Turn those three over. I want to see their faces."

Katniss did so, very carefully aiding each upright onto their knees.

"Get up!" said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the prep team instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

"Leave off that!" screamed the Queen. "You make me giddy." And then, turning to the rose tree, she went on, "What have you been doing here?"

"May it please your Majesty," said Venia, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as she spoke, "we were trying—"

"I see!" said the Queen who had meanwhile been examining the roses. "Off with their heads!"

And the procession moved on with three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate prep team, who ran to Prim for protection.

"You shan't be beheaded," said Prim, putting them into a large flowerpot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

"Are their heads off?" shouted the Queen.

"Their heads are gone if it please your Majesty!" the soldiers shouted in reply.

"That's right!" shouted the Queen. "Can you play croquet?"

The soldiers were silent and looked at Prim as the question was evidently meant for her.

"Yes!" shouted Prim.

"Come on, then!" roared the Queen.

And Prim joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next.

"It's...it's a very fine day," said a timid voice at her side.

Prim found herself walking beside Beetee, who was peeping anxiously into her face. "Very," said Prim. "Where's Duchess Johanna?"

"Hush. Hush." said Beetee in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then leaned over to put his mouth close to her ear and whispered, "She's under sentence of execution."

"What for?" asked Prim.

"Did you say 'What a pity'?" Beetee asked.

"No, I didn't," replied Prim. "I don't think it's at all a pity. I asked 'What for'?"

"She boxed the Queen's ears—" Beetee began when Prim gave a little scream of laughter. "Oh, hush!" Beetee whispered in a frightened tone. "The Queen will hear you. You see, she came rather late, and the Queen said—"

"Get to your places!" shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began.

Prim thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and furrows. The balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingos, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet to make the arches.

The chief difficulty Prim found at first was in managing her candy pink flamingo. She succeeded in getting its body tucked away comfortably enough under her arm with its legs hanging down. But generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round and look up in her face with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing. And when she had got its head down and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself and was in the act of crawling away. Besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Prim soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time, the Queen was in a furious passion and went stamping about, shouting "Off with his head!" or "Off with her head!" about once every minute.

Prim began to feel very uneasy. To be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute. And then, thought Prim, what would become of me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is that there's any one left alive!

She was looking about for some way of escape and wondering whether she could get away without being seen when she noticed a curious appearance in the air. It puzzled her very much at first, but after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself, "It's the Cheshire Cat. Now I shall have somebody to talk to."

"How are you getting on?" said the cat woman, as soon as there was mouth enough for her to speak with.

Prim waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. It's no use speaking to it, she thought, till its ears have come, or at least one of them. In another minute, the whole head appeared, and then Prim put down her candy pink flamingo and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The cat woman seemed to think that there was enough of her now in sight so no more of her appeared.

"Oh, Tigris, I don't think they play at all fairly," Prim began, in rather a complaining tone. "And they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak; and they don't seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them. And you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next, walking about at the other end of the ground. And I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming."

"How do you like the Queen?' asked the cat woman in a low voice.

"Not at all," said Prim. "Coin is so extremely—" Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening, so she went on, "likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game."

The Queen smiled and passed on.

"Who are you talking to?" asked Plutarch, going up to Prim and looking at the cat woman's head with great curiosity.

"It's a friend of mine, a Cheshire Cat," said Prim. "Allow me to introduce her."

"I don't like the look of it at all," said Plutarch. "However, it may kiss my hand if it likes."

"I'd rather not," Tigris remarked.

"Don't be impertinent," said Plutarch, "and don't look at me like that." The man moved behind Prim as he spoke.

"She's no harm," said Prim. "She's just a bit...different."

"Well, it must be removed," said Plutarch very decidedly, and he called President Coin, who was passing at the moment, "Your Majesty, I wish you would have this cat removed."

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. "Off with her head!" she said without even looking round.

"I'll fetch the executioner myself," said Plutarch eagerly, and he hurried off.

Prim thought she might as well go back and see how the game was going on as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion. Prim had already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all as the game was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Prim an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other. The only difficulty was that her candy pink flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden where Prim could see it trying, in a helpless sort of way, to fly up into a tree. By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight.

But it doesn't matter much, thought Prim, as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground. So she tucked the bird away under her arm that it might not escape again and went back for a little more conversation with her friend.

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd collected round Tigris. There was a dispute going on between the executioner, Plutarch, and the Queen, who were all talking at once while all the rest were quite silent and looked very uncomfortable.

The moment Prim appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her. Though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.

The executioner's argument was that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from, that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at his time of life.

Plutarch's argument was that anything that had a head could be beheaded and that you weren't to talk nonsense.

The Queen's argument was that if something wasn't done about it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed all round. (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)

Prim could think of nothing else to say but, "The cat belongs to Duchess Johanna. You'd better ask her about it."

"She's in prison," the Queen said to the executioner. "Fetch her here."

And the executioner went off like an arrow.

The cat woman's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and by the time he had come back with Duchess Johanna, Tigris had entirely disappeared. So Plutarch and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for her while the rest of the party went back to the game.