R&R

Long time no read lovelies! Sorry for the long wait but I didn't want to write a OS like this without some serious writing mojo and it came all right. I must warn you that this chapter is VERY EMOTIONAL so if you are highly depressed or if sad things make you uncomfortable do not read any further.

You have been warned.

Anyways, I would say enjoy like I usually do but...

Oneshot 31: Wake Up

by AshAnime

She wasn't breathing.

That's the first thing he noticed.

And all though it was a very obvious fact, Mugen couldn't bring himself to fully grasp the concept. He had seen the breath of life leave many people before. Hell, he was often the one who caused that last gasp for air until their eyes dimmed and their legs went weak. So then why was it so hard to comprehend that her cheeks were no longer rosy, eyes no longer vivid, chest no longer rising and falling?

"Mugen-"

"Don't," he breathed, and he nearly jumped at the strangled sound of his own voice. "Don't you even think of finishing that fucking sentence, got it?"

Jin stared down at the haggard pirate who was currently crouching next to a vessel that no longer held the soul of a girl that had given them so much to live for. He blinked once, twice, before turning away from Mugen's fiery gaze. That look. That look and the way the Ryukyun's hands couldn't stop shaking, hurt Jin more then the lifeless body that now lay on the floor.

"Fuck!" The words left Mugen's throat like an attack. The receiver of such a blow? Jin couldn't tell. Himself? Death? Her limp form on the cold ground?

Mugen tried to look at her face through his blurring vision, but it was as if the whole world had been doused in a watery haze. Instead, he stared down at his hands, rough and calloused from gripping his sword too tight. They wouldn't stop shaking. He looked up and his gaze landed on her pale, listless, hand.

His wouldn't stop moving. Hers wouldn't move at all.

The world was cruel.

"I don't want to care," he breathed, trembling hands reaching for cold flesh. "So then why the fuck do I?"

Jin opened his mouth to answer that simple question, but thought the better of it. He knew Mugen needed this private moment to grieve, but for some reason his feet wouldn't move. Ever since the healer gave a sad shake of her head. Ever since they stopped caring about the amount of blood she was losing. Ever since the dull afternoon sunlight turned into black night, and Mugen crashed through the door, rage and sorrow and so many other emotions Jin thought he'd never see on the pirate's face, fleeting across his features.

Jin simple stood.

And he didn't know what else to do because instead of crying his brain forced him to remember every sweet, endearing and innocent moment Fuu had shared with him. With them.

The world was cruel.

"She was coming after me, wasn't she?"

The hallow tone of Mugen's voice startled Jin out of his daze, his firmly cemented feet shifting for the first time in hours.

"She was coming after me. She wanted to find me. Even after everything I said, the bitch still wanted to talk to me. She still wanted to fix things."

Jin had heard Mugen speak in many different ways over the years, but never had his words sent a shiver down his spine like they did now.

"Mugen-"

"I told you," the pirate bit out. "Not a fucking word."

"So then what do you want from me?" Jin snapped and spread his arms out, startling not only himself but the vagabond in front of him. "You ask me these questions, clearly wanting an answer. What do you want from me, Mugen?"

Mugen stared at him, brows furrowed and eyes rimmed red.

"Do you want me to yell at you? Do you want me to bury her myself because you just can't stomach it? Do you want me to put all the blame on you so you'll have a reason to yell instead of cry?"

Mugen clenched his fists but he didn't move and he didn't speak. Jin continued to stare down at him, pulse racing but face deadly calm.

"I don't know what you want me to do," he continued, voice livid. "But if you're looking for a fight, I'm sorry. I can't give that to you. Not here, after everything that has happened. Not like this."

Crickets chirped outside, the sound sounding as loud as a sword's clang in Mugen's ears. He could hear every rush of blood through his veins and every pump of his heart. His breath quickened as an unfamiliar sting gripped his nose and eyes. What the hell was this feeling? This completely helpless and vulnerable feeling?

"She's really gone, Jin."

Jin's eyes widened at the use of his actual name leaving Mugen's mouth.

"She's-" Mugen didn't dare say another word. He could feel this weird clogging sensation in his throat and he knew it would make whatever words came next sound weak and feeble. He was not a weak and feeble person. He was Mugen. Killer and thrill seeker. He could handle everything and anything.

Her death was nothing compared to the many lives he'd slain.

Her death was nothing compared to the hellish island he came from.

Her death meant nothing.

She meant nothing.

Fuu meant-

"Wake up damn it!"

At the first shuddering shake of hunched over shoulders, Jin silently removed himself from the room, giving the man he never thought he'd consider his friend, some much needed space.

Hang in there.

Mugen grabbed Fuu's ashen face and faced it towards him before it could loll to the side once again. "I said wake up, Fuu!" he yelled at her closed lids, the skin around her eyes already beginning to turn a sickly shade of blue. "Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?! Why did you come after me?! What's wrong with you, huh?!"

Her pale lips didn't answer him back.

They would never mouth off at him again.

"We're supposed to be your bodyguards! Isn't that why you hired us?! To keep you safe! Fuck, you should have hired someone else! Someone better!"

There was liquid, hot and salty, running down Mugen's face and unto her sallow cheeks, but he didn't care. It wasn't like she could see him like this, a completely broken mess. How many times had she tried to break down his walls and get to this Mugen? A Mugen that cried and held unto her and screamed into her face. A Mugen that showed emotion.

Well Fuu, you happy now?

"You should have just given me the damn dumplings," he laughed bitterly, the action causing a weird noise to escape from deep within his throat. "I never wanted this. I never wanted any of it."

He used to think that being on the brink of death was the worst torture ever. He had been so very wrong.

"Girly," he whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

He wanted to punch something. Mugen felt the feeling travel from his broken chest and creep up his arms until his fingers tensed around her colorless face. He wanted to slice down souls and have the entire world feel what he was feeling in that moment. He hadn't realized how much hope had wormed its way into his cold heart until he had seen her there on the floor, surrounded by a growing pool of blood. He hadn't realized just how much he had changed, for her sake, until the darkness once again began to creep it's way back into his hallow ribs.

Blinking slowly, Mugen carefully removed his hands from her stiff form, raised his head until their foreheads no longer touched, and schooled his expression into the same look he had worn so many years ago, before he stepped foot into a certain tea shop.

"I'm a dumbass for waiting so long to say this but…"

For a split second, Mugen saw her. The girl he remembered. The one who was obsessed with finding a sunflower scented samurai. The one who loved to eat food and disregarded the many strange looks she often got. A girl who had the nerve to push when he said pull, never backing down from a good argument. A girl who smiled at him on his worse days and laughed with him on his best.

Mugen took a deep breath.

"You're beautiful, Fuu."

Woooow, ok so even while writing this I started tearing up and that rarely happens for me when writing sad stuff. But for some reason I really felt it and I was like oh hell i'm gunna make all these awesome people cry, aren't I?

You guys have every right to hate me.

Sorry for the feels overload and if it seemed OOC in any way. I just thought it would be interesting to see how Mugen would handle the death of someone he actually cares about.

response to previous QOTD: Loved all the deep responses for why you guys ship Fuugen! It helped even me realize some of the stuff I hadn't realized about the couple!

Question of the Day: Did this one shot make you cry? ;)

Awesome and amazing reviewers who deserve all the awards:

HaruKuro

SkorpionQueen012

FF2 Addict

sweetserenity13

Ghibli Ninja

whiteplums 76

Brittany

Tanto Storm

VampireAreeJ

ORBRL

PleasedReader

Guest

you guys are awesome, and lovely and just overall the best fans a girl could ask for!

Fuu: Wait so just the other day those two said they would save me, but in this one shot I DIE?

Mugen: What the fuck? You heard us?

Jin: Well, Fuu?

Fuu: *laughs nervously* Ok so maybe I did a little eavesdropping but unto other things, omg this one shot moved me to tears! The passion, the grief, the love and adoration! Mugen would you really act this way if I were to die?

Mugen: *snorts and rolls eyes* I'd fucking rejoice to Kami all night long, girly.

Fuu: MUGEN YOU BIG JERK!

AshAnime: 'Sup guys, what did I-

Jin: I wouldn't if I were you.

THANKS YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW! LOVE YOU LOTS!