Chapter 25

"What are you doing?"

"She's disabling security protocols and dumping all the secrets onto the Internet." Pierce explained.

Getting into the Council meeting was easier than she anticipated. Her shoulder still hurt but she had no problem to take down the HYDRA agents protecting Pierce. And she was relieved that the Council members didn't turn out to be HYDRA as well. Pierce wouldn't walk out of this room alive but it would be a bitch to explain why she had to kill the entire World Council.

"Including HYDRA's" You son of a bitch, she added in her head. She was so fucking furious that everything she did for SHIELD, she did in the end for HYDRA. Did it matter that she saved lifes with her work? Did she get more red in her ledger? Maybe she should talk about this with Matt's priest.

"And SHIELD's. If you do this, none of your past is gonna remain hidden. Are you sure you're ready for the world to see you as you really are?" Pierce said trying to convince her not to leak everything.

She stopped typing and looked up from the screen. "Are you?"

"What about Captain Rogers?" Pierce smirked at her, clearly thinking he found her weakness. But Steve wasn't her weakness, he was her strength. "Do you really think he still wants to be with you after he finds out the truth about you? You did so many horrible things, Natasha."

She didn't know they were on a first name basis. Steve already knew about her past and the horrors she did for the Red Room. He read her real file before they got partnered up and he told her that it didn't matter who she used to be but who she was now. And he loved this version of her, the Natasha she created on her own. And she didn't care what the world thought about her. She only cared about the opinion of one man and that man told her he loved her last night.

She gave Pierce her signature smirk and continued to type.

"Disabling the encryption is an executive order, it takes two Alpha Level members." Pierce said trying to save his ass. Even if she wouldn't put a bullet in his head and he would get out of here alive, he would spend the rest of his life in prison. And men like him didn't make it far in prison.

She smiled at him sweetly. "Don't worry, company's coming."

She wondered if Fury was hovering over the Triskelion until he heard the right opening for his entrance. She almost smiled at his sense for dramatic entrances but she was still mad at him. Not trusting her and spying on her. He promised her that only a very small circle had excess to the tapes of Steve's apartment but that didn't help. And it didn't help that Fury might knew how she sounded when she was having sex. That was just creepy. She hoped he turned the volume off when she and Steve were fucking each other's brains out. They were both pretty loud.

The helicopter landed and Fury stepped out and the look on Pierce was priceless. She should have snapped a picture. Fury's coat was fluttering in the wind and she wondered if he only wore that thing for situations like this.

Fury got into the building and Pierce managed to collect himself. "Did you get my flowers? I'm glad you here, Nick."

Pierce and Fury both activated the disabling of the encryption and she checked her phone and it was already trending. Take that Wikileads!

Suddenly the Council members went to the ground and she grabbed her gun to point it at Pierce. Nick did the same.

"Unless you want a two inch hole in your sternum, I'd put that gun down." Pierce threatened and she tried her best not to roll her eyes. She had been in worse situations.

"That was armed from the moment you pinned it on." Smart bastard. She didn't lower her gun but Fury did. She was a bit surprised by it. There were more important things than her on stake here. But she did follow Nick's example and lowered her gun. Steve would kill her if she died.

The helicarries fired at each other and she sighed barely audible in relief. The mission was a success.

"What a waste."

"Still on the fence about Rogers' chances?" She was proud of him. He did good. She would tell him so as soon as she got out of here and they would meet.

Pierce looked annoyed. "Time to go, Councilwoman. This way, come on. You're gonna fly me out of here."

No, she wouldn't but decided to let him have this moment. While Fury spoke she got one of her widow bites out and used it on herself. Holy fuck that hurt...

"-tasha, come on!"

"Ow, those really do sting." She groaned out. Maybe she should apologize to the next person she was using it on.

The Triskelion was crashing down and she barely managed to catch Sam when he jumped out of the building. How fitting that with the end of SHIELD its heart also got destroyed.

But where was Steve if he wasn't with Sam?! A cold shiver went down her spine and she had the feeling that something terrible had happened. "Hill, where is Steve?" She didn't care how desperate she sounded. "You got a location on Rogers?"

Maria didn't answer and she got scared. Where was Steve?

"Maria!" She yelled into the comm and Sam gave her a worried look. "Where the fuck is Steve? Answer me!"

Hill sighed and her chest tightend. Hill showing any sign of emotion was never good. "He told me to destroy the helicarriers." Pause. "While he was still on the last one."

She looked at the hellicarriers that crashed into the Potomac. No, he got off soon enough. But what if his friend was there? He wouldn't leave him there. What if... No, she couldn't finish that thought.

"Natasha?" Sam placed a hand on her knee and she jumped at the contact. She forgot that he was there. Sam immediately withdrew his hand. "Where is Steve?"

She couldn't give him a verbal answer but pointed at the helicarrries that were now in the river. She couldn't move. She was never this scared in her life before. She didn't know what to do but thankfully Sam did. "Fury, get closer to the river. We need to find Cap."

Fury usually ignored it when others told him what do to but he turned the chopper and flew a few meters over the river. That alone showed her how serious the sitauation was. Sam leaned out of the helicopter on one side while she did the same on the other and they both searched for him. They wouldn't find like this if he was drowing. She should just jump into the water and dive to look for him. She glanced at the shore briefly and then looked at it closer. There was someone.

"There!" She screamed. "He's at the shore!"

Fury flew towards Steve's direction but it felt like it took hours to get to him and so she jumped out of the chopper to swim to him. "Don't!" She ignored Sam and did the crawl to get to him as fast as possible. The movement popped the stiches on her shoulder but she didn't care. She stumbled the last meters to Steve and fell on her knees beside him.

She stopped breathing when she got a closer look. He had multiple gun and stabbing wounds and his suit was soaked in blood. She leaned her head over his face to check his breathing and looked at his chest to see if it was raising and got nothing. She held her tears back and pressed her hands on his chest and gave him CPR. She had to repeat it a few times and from afar she could hear that Fury and Sam landed and were screaming.

"Don't do this to me. Don't make me fall in love with you and then die!" She pressed her mouth over his and blew air into his lungs.

He began to cough and she held his head while he choked water out. She sighed in relief. "That's it. Get it all out, honey."

She rested his head in his lap. "Natasha?"

"You're safe now, Steve. You're gonna be okay." She brushed his hair out of his forehead. Sirens were getting closer and Fury and Sam were now by their side.

"You are so beautiful,Nat. Like an angel!" He mumbled and closed his eyes again. She checked his pulse and it was thankfully still there.

"That's my man." Sam breathed out and fell into the sand next to them. Fury was gone.

The paramedics were running to their side and taking care of Steve. After a few death threats they let her accompany Steve to hospital in the ambulance.

She just got out of the senate hearing when her phone buzzed with a message from Sam.

He's awake and asking for you

Of course he would wake up when she left his side for two hours for the hearing to get the government off their backs. She spent the night after his surgery at his bed and all morning until she had to leave but she only did when Sam promised her to text her immediately if there are any changes. Sam better have told Steve that she was by his side almost the entire time!

She didn't want her boyfriend to think that she wouldn't be with him after what happened to him. She already contacted an old friend in Kiev who she hoped would get his hands on more intel on the Winter Soldier. She knew that Steve would want to help him.

She drove to the hospital ignoring red lights and speed limits and knocked almost a nurse over when she ran to Steve's room. She mumbled a sorry and walked by the guards protecting Steve.

She got into the room without knocking and a pale and bruised Steve smiled at her when he saw her. Her heart fluttered and the fear and tension of the last 24 hours were gone. Steve was okay now.

"Hi" She breathed out and Sam excused himself and left the room. She wasn't even aware he was in the room until he spoke.

"Hey" His voice was hoarse. He reached his hand out to her and she took it and sat down on the chair that Sam's butt had warmed.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. I heard you saved my life. Thank you, Nat." He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. His lips were dry and chipped but his touch still felt so good.

She leaned over and kissed him softly. "I thought for a second that you were dead." She took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts of a lifeless Steve on the shore out of her mind. " I was so scared."

" 'm sorry." He had a sheepish look. "But I couldn't kill Bucky. I just couldn't. He's still in there. He dragged me out of the river." He spoke so fast that he was out of breath when he was done. His lung got hit in their fight.

"I know. I understand." She really did. If it were Clint or Steve... She would rather die than hurt them.

"I have to go after him." He looked at her with guilt and pain on his face. "I need to find him and bring him home."

"I know."

"I was hoping that you would come with me. Might be kinda romantic. We might get to see a bit from the world. And once Bucky is himself again... You two are gonna get along so well. After he apologized for shooting you of course." He smiled at her.

"Steve." She sighed. She didn't want to do this but she had to. "I can't come with you."

The smile fell from his face. "Why not? We're both jobless and I know we wanted to move in together and we will but just not right now."

"That's not it." She grabbed his hand to hold it. "I completely understand. And I would come with you to look for your friend but I can't. All my secrets are out. Everything I've done-"

"I don't care about that!"

She gave him a small smile. "I know that. But other people will. People who have a score to settle with me. And they will come for me. And I refuse to put a target on your back."

Steve's hold on her hands got tighter. "I will protect you." He said fiercely. "Anyone who wants to get to you has to get through me first."

"That's sweet but it would only distrect you from your search for Bucky. Besides I can protect me on my own."

Tears were starting to appear in Steve's eyes. "Are you... Are we breaking up?"

"What? No!" She shook her head so hard, she was suprised she didn't get whiplash. "It means that we'll be in a long distance relationship for some time. As soon as it's safe and all the demons from my past are dealt with, I'll come and find you. Maybe you already got Bucky back by that." She smirked. "And he can tell me embarrassing stories about you."

Steve huffed a laugh out but then got serious again. "I don't like this. Being apart from each other. We're better when we're together."

"Yeah but it's the smarter decision for now."

"When are you leaving, Nat?" He sounded as sad as she felt.

"When you get discharged and my contact in Kiev gave me everything he could find on Barnes."

"Natasha." He whispered and she could hear the gratitude and his love for her in his voice.

"It's no big deal. I know you'll need it."

"I love you, so much." He said softly.

"I..." She wanted to say it back so badly. She loved him, why couldn't she say it? She almost lost him yesterday and they would be soon apart of an unknown amount of time. Why couldn't she say it? She refused to let the Red Room still have that much power over her. Love is for children. Fuck you, Madame B! Love was everything! "I..."

"Shh, it's okay. I know."

She smiled at him sadly. "I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up."

"Hey, watch it. That's my fuck up you're talking about."

He moved to make room for her in his hospital bed and she slipped in careful not to pull on any IVs. She nestled into his side and Steve soon fell asleep. She listened to his breathing and enjoyed being this close to him. She didn't want to think about all the loney nights that were ahead of her.