A/N: Well, today was my birthday…yay me. I guess since I'm posting this in the early morning it's the day after my birthday. ~sigh~ whatever. It was a kinda sucky birthday so…yeah! Hurray for a new chapter!

WARNING: TRIGGERING DESCRIPTIONS OF CUTTING AND DEPRESSION! Also SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER! Male X Male!

ENJOY!

Chapter 6

The kitchen was the warmest place in the house at the moment and all four of them were huddled in there as the weather suddenly got colder. When Scott and Isaac had woken up they'd looked out the window to see what was in store for today and saw a blanket of white across the window. They'd run up the stairs yelling about the apocalypse. Evidently that'd been the topic before they'd slept last night and they'd predicted the future. Stiles had watched as Derek bonked them both on the head with the back of the spatula he was holding and looked at the window as he told them to shut up and calm down. Peeling back the edge of the blanket he was indeed met with a storming wall of white. Now they were wrapped in a bunch of blankets sitting around the stove that was still blazing even though food wasn't cooking.

"The storm's not going away. You think we'll actually have to go out and get to Allison's in order to get information?" Scott asked.

Derek shook his head. "We can't go out in this. We'd get lost or hurt and I can't have any of you doing that."

Isaac nodded but didn't say anything, just huddling closer to the warmth. Stiles looked around at the three of them and sighed. There wasn't a lot of food left. The meat was almost gone and he'd been eating the bread. There was still cereal and some eggs but not a lot. If this storm kept going then they'd be eaten out of the house.

"Maybe if we went through the alleys between the houses as a group we'd be able to keep warm together and we'd be able to make it to Allison's or Lydia's in a couple hours." Stiles supplied an option since there was no way this was going to get better. "We have no signal and I don't know if my Jeep would be able to withstand the wind."

They were silent as they thought about this. Derek was the first to say something.

"Or we could take your Jeep as far as it can go then go the rest of the way on foot. Your Jeep can fit four right?"

"Uh, maybe if someone squeezed in the back."

The werewolves looked at each other and nodded as if coming to an unspoken agreement.

"Ok. Stiles give me your keys. Isaac get all of the sweats and blankets you and I own and pile them on the couch. We need to get to one of the girls' houses. Who's closest?"

Stiles watched as they bounced up from their seats while Scott confirmed that Lydia lived closer. Derek would get his keys whether he wanted him to or not so he just stayed where he was. After a bit Derek came back up wearing layers and layers of clothes and a blanket that was wrapped around his shoulders.

"Well, are you coming?"

"Who's driving?"

"Scott. He said he knew a short cut there that ran along smaller roads so there's less of a chance the wind would knock them over."

"Oh, ok. That's good. I think I'll stay here. I'll just be in the way there and I don't want to slow you down since I'll get colder faster than you guys."

Derek crouched down next to him and Stiles raised one eyebrow at him. "What?"

"Is that really what you want? To be alone here?"

Stiles sighed and looked at the glowing embers of the fire. "Yeah. I don't want to see Lydia. I can't deal with her right now. Just, make sure the other two are safe ok?"

Derek continued to stare at him until with a slow nod he got back up and went downstairs. There wasn't much commotion after that and Stiles waited until he heard the heavy door slam back into place before he sighed and got up from his chair. He silently walked down the stairs and scooted his chair over to the window and pulled back the blanket to stare at the white flurry in front of him. It was absolutely frigid but he didn't care. He was alone again.

A few moments passed and Stiles found his mind restless instead of dozing off into that spell he seemed to constantly slip into. What happened last night? He didn't say anything about it this morning. But then again Derek's always been weird. Was he grossed out? Was I grossed out? No, no I wasn't. Why wasn't I? I know for a fact I don't just go around popping random boners whenever someone touches me. But that wasn't really normal touching though. Why did he do that? That last question thoroughly stumped Stiles and he sat there staring blindly at the blizzard while he frowned, thinking hard about this.

A slam behind him startled him so bad he jumped half out of his seat before being deposited on the floor. Groaning in pain and cold he slowly rolled to his hands and knees, rubbing his tailbone where he'd landed on it.

"Freaking ow." He mumbled and hissed at the tenderness.

Booted feet appeared in his line of sight and he followed them up over the sweat-clad legs and completely passed by the waist and chest area to look Derek right in the face. For a second he felt his cheeks warm but then he looked down again and the cold flooded back into his skin.

"Ah, yeah. Startled me." Stiles explained even though he hadn't been asked.

A hand tapped his head and he looked up to see Derek's offered hand and he grabbed it so he could be pulled upright once more. As soon as he got back onto his feet he let the hand go but it stuck to his in a firm grip. He frowned at it for a second before looking up at Derek who was silently watching him, looking him over.

"Um, what? Why are you staring at me? I don't have anything on me, do I?" he asked, nervous under the attention.

"You're ok right?"

Somehow Stiles knew Derek wasn't talking about the fall and he tugged his hand out of Derek's and pulled his hands into his armpits.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where are the others? I thought you were going to Lydia's."

"They'll be just fine. They have the cell and we decided it's better for them to just stay there and figure out as much as they can before coming back. They might need a couple of days and the idea of staying at Lydia's house for that long…" Derek trailed off with a barely concealed shudder.

Stiles eyed him suspiciously before nodding. "If you say so."

"I do." Derek said firmly and Stiles nodded slowly.

"Well, you'd have been less bored over there. There's, like, nothing to do here. How are you even entertained here?"

"I'm not usually stuck inside all the time. It's also never this cold either."

Stiles gave him a questioning look, wondering what the cold had to do with the boringness of the house but then he remembered how much Derek liked to work out without a shirt and summed it up to that being the reason.

"Right. Um, I'm just going to…sit over here then." Stiles mumbled and backed up towards the chair.

"It's really cold over here. You need to stay warm or you'll catch a cold."

Stiles shrugged and shook his head. "Nah, I'll be good. I don't really have anything else to do besides watch the storm."

Derek frowned and looked like he was deep in thought for a second before he sighed. "Well, I have a lot of books if you wanted. Also printer paper since Isaac likes folding it a lot." He said as he began stripping the many layers over his head until he was left with just a long sleeve shirt and a single pair of sweats on his legs. His feet were still clad in a pair of thick winter socks.

Stiles almost smiled at that as he looked back towards the window while Derek undressed just in case he saw something he shouldn't. "I'll probably just end up making a mess."

"Then a mess you'll make. Just clean it up after you're done and I won't complain."

"Dude, since when don't you complain?"

Derek shot him a glare as he started walking towards his bed. "Don't call me dude."

"Sourwolf." Stiles whispered under his breath and heard Derek growl and that finally brought a small smile to his face.

He did as Derek had suggested and pulled out some of the paper in the desk and began messing around with it like he'd seen Isaac do. That had been the longest conversation he'd had with anybody in a while. He wasn't used to it and that feeling was something new. Derek seemed to be ever so slowly driving whatever emptiness that had settled within him out. But was that a good thing? Stiles didn't know and he didn't care at the moment and just focused on the paper. The odd shapes he created, each line he folded, every piece he used had him moving, his hands unstopping as they had before. Every time he stretched his hands out he'd feel the stick of the bandage over his cuts and that slight pull that reminded him of the pain that so often filled his hollowness. Could Derek get rid of this self-destruction?

Stiles shook his head and squashed the hope he'd begun to feel. He couldn't rely on someone else to fix his own problems. If he started to hope now and later when his hope was trampled on like he knew it would be then he'd be in more pain than when he started. No, he wasn't going to hope but he could at least fill this exact moment in time with whatever he could, even if that meant filling it with Derek. That thought made him groan and Derek's head shot up from where it'd been nestled in the pages of his book and stared at Stiles. Stiles stared back before shrugging.

"Sorry. Just a weird thought that crossed my mind. Won't happen again." Stiles assured him before going back to his papers hurriedly.

"What thought?" Derek asked in a low voice, lowering his book to give Stiles his undivided attention.

"Uh, nothing important really. Just…random thoughts." He said quickly, feeling his face heat up.

"You made that noise over nothing?" Derek asked with a hint of mockery in his tone.

Stiles winced and looked back at Derek, his cheeks flushing slightly. He didn't remember how to handle these situations. He'd always been awkward with these things and if he wasn't careful he'd end up babbling uselessly in embarrassment.

"Um, yeah…nothing."

Derek slammed his book shut and the noise echoed around them, making Stiles flinch. Stiles stared wide eyed at him as he shifted his legs off the bed and stood up, setting the book aside on the bed-side table without looking away from him. Stiles gulped rather loudly and felt the paper tear slightly beneath his fingers which gave him an excuse to break the sudden intense stare between them. As he inspected the small tear he tried to ignore Derek's approach as best he could but each step seemed to echo loudly around him. He fiddled with the paper, making the tear larger until Derek's fingers settled over his and they stilled.

"I can tell when you're lying Stiles."

Stiles shivered at his touch and the sound of his name passing so softly from between Derek's lips. Why was he thinking about Derek's lips? Stiles looked up and his gaze immediately set upon his mouth. Nope, he should definitely not be thinking about Derek's lips. Or be looking at Derek's lips. Had what happened last night made him desperate or something because suddenly he felt very desperate and not in a good way. Like an 'I'm drowning and right now the only thing that will save me is your mouth' kind of desperate. It bordered between enticing Stiles and freaking him out.

"You're thinking about something again."

Derek's voice startled him and his gaze jerked away from his mouth and up into his eyes which wasn't really any better. Their stare held fast and it seemed like neither one could blink. Stiles felt a tightness in his chest and confusion swept through him.

"Uh…we…um…we should talk. Yeah, that's it. We should talk." He swallowed nervously as he felt his hands shake beneath Derek's. "You know, about last night? 'Cause yeah, that needs explaining and talking about. A lot of talking about." He babbled.

Derek nodded his head slowly. "You're right. We do."

Stiles waited for him to say something more but that seemed to be all he was going to say so he drew in a shaky breath. "Last night. What happened? I don't usually go around getting hard in other guy's beds. Actually I never go around getting into any guy's bed. Especially not hard and, um, you were…hands…all over me…um…"

Derek's mouth began to tilt up in a smirk and his fingers had begun to take the paper away from Stiles' hands.

"What happened last night was interesting. I hadn't meant for it to happen that way but it did. Are you ok with that?"

"Uh, well, that depends on if you're ok with that. 'Cause, you know, I'm a guy. Guys don't usually do that with guys." Stiles mumbled, trying to keep his thoughts together when Derek's fingers trailing over his made it so difficult.

"Sure they do. It happens all the time. Just not as much as everyone is willing to admit. Tell me, did it help? What happened last night, did it help you feel better, even for just a moment?"

Stiles was silent as he blushed scarlet remembering last night. The hands and the touching and then his dick and ok yeah, he needed to think about something else.

"It kinda did? I'm not sure?" he said as if he were asking a question. "I don't feel as…empty today I guess. I keep thinking about what happened and I don't know if you meant it or if it was just a meaningless thing you did or if it would happen again or if it was bad if it were to happen again or maybe I wanted it to happen again. I mean, I haven't gotten a boner in weeks and…" Stiles felt his face and neck heat almost to the point of pain as he realized what he just said. "And I did not mean to say that out loud. Eesh."

Derek was full on smirking at him now, looking a little triumphant actually. His fingers had managed to wind around Stiles' and when he moved Stiles had no choice but to follow. They moved around the desk so it no longer separated them and Stiles couldn't help but notice the bed was just that much closer now.

"So you're saying you want it to happen again because it made you feel something. You think if this were to continue the cutting would stop?"

Stiles shifted nervously as Derek said his secret aloud. He couldn't help a quick glance around even though they were alone.

"I don't want you to if you don't want to. If this'll be just another meaningless thing that's thrown at us because of my stupidity I'd rather just deal with this alone." He mumbled.

"This is definitely not meaningless." Derek said sternly, his anger surprising them both. "Ah, I mean, I want to if it'll help you."

Stiles sighed and pulled his hands back so he could think clearly and tucked them under his arms like he'd done before.

"What I mean is I don't know if I like you but if I do something like this then I'll probably end up liking you and if you won't like me back or you suddenly realize that I'm a guy and it's gross then I don't want to do this. You've had your fair share of relationship issues and I don't want you to suddenly think that this'll end up bad as well. Not that it'll be a relationship! I mean, you know, if this did turn into that I don't want to be dropped flat. That'll just make things way, way worse. So if it'll be like that then I'd rather just stay like this."

Derek waited until Stiles was finished completely before leaning forward slightly so their faces were closer together.

"The thought of you hurting makes me hurt Stiles. If being in a relationship is ok with you then that's fine with me. I don't think you're gross. If you want the truth then what you did last night was one of the hottest things that have happened in a long time for me. Yes I have my problems but right now yours are much more important." Derek paused and stepped into Stiles' personal space.

Stiles was tempted to take a step back but refused to back down since the very thought of this actually happening made him feel like the cold was receding completely from his body.

"Can you handle being with a guy? Does that gross you out? If I kissed you right now would you back away disgusted?" Derek's voice got lower and he moved even closer with every question.

Stiles leaned his head back to look up at Derek and saw that his face was unbearably close. He could see in fine detail the dark stubble on his chin and the slight chapness of his lips. He could feel Derek's breath wash over his face and felt a shiver run through his whole body. Stiles' lips parted as he let out that same little groan that had started this conversation and Derek took that as an invitation, leaning his head down ever so slightly and tilted to the right and met Stiles' mouth with his own in a gentle question of a kiss.

Derek's mouth was so soft over his. There was no pressure applied and their lips were the only place on their bodies that touched. A spasm tore through his body and suddenly he was stepping into Derek's body and his arms fell to his side so their chests could touch. The warmth of Derek's hands settled themselves onto his upper arms and he pressed his mouth just a bit firmer against Derek's. For a second they were still before Derek pressed back, moving his lips against Stiles and he was left breathless at the sweet softness of the lips under his.

"Please tell me we're going to do this." He whispered against Stiles' lips when he pulled back a bit to breathe and talk.

"Yes. Please?" Stiles pleaded right back.

Derek's grip tightened and he began pulling Stiles back towards the bed, leading him step by slow step. Once he reached the end of the bed he broke the kiss and sat down, looking up at Stiles with lustful but patient eyes.

"Tell me what you want."

Stiles bit his kiss wetted lip and knew Derek could hear his heart skip a beat at his question, knew and saw his smile as a result. He fidgeted with the edges of his sleeves before pressing them against his sides. Derek trailed his fingers up Stiles' sides and back down to grip his waist and hold him there.

"Um, can you touch me?" Stiles asked with a blush. "L-like I did to myself last night?" he almost whispered the end.

Derek gave him a small grin that showed the barest hint of teeth and Stiles shuddered. He was pulled onto the bed and up to the pillows before the blankets were pulled aside for him. Unhurried he crawled under and lay on his side, his back to Derek who climbed in after him. The slow gentleness of it put his heart and mind at ease and he was able to relax when Derek pressed his body against him, legs and all.

"I might get hard during this as well. That ok?" Derek asked his permission and Stiles gave a short nod.

"Of course." He said almost breathlessly.

Derek didn't answer, didn't need to, as he wrapped his arms around Stiles and just held him like that for a few long moments before slowly moving his hand to Stiles' right hand, his thumb tracing his knuckles. Stiles sighed and let himself be touched. He needed this. He really needed this. The fingers travelling slowly up his arm and back down felt so good. They left fire in their wake and warmed him in a way that he hadn't been able to before. When those fingers, that hand went from his shoulder slowly down his side he gave a low sigh of contentment and shut his eyes, letting himself feel everything that Derek was doing to his body.

Derek felt Stiles move slightly into his touch and pressed the flat of his palm completely against his thin body. He could feel the ridge of his ribs and the tenderness of his hips as he slid his hand back and forth, relaxing Stiles slowly. As soon as Stiles let out another low sigh of contentment he slipped his fingers underneath the edge of the shirt and pet the skin along the sensitive ridge of his hip. Stiles shuddered against his body and he took that as encouragement, slipping his entire hand under the shirt and sliding his palm up Stiles side. The shirt goes with him and pulls it all the way up under his armpit. Stiles lifted himself so the shirt didn't catch and once Derek's hand started to slide back down his side he relaxed once more with a shudder.

"Is this ok?" Derek mumbled against Stiles' shoulder which earned him a shiver.

"Y-yeah. It's good. Feels good."

Stiles was breathless as his skin tingled everywhere Derek touched. Those fingers traced every line on his side before moving to his stomach. They danced around his navel teasingly before sliding up to his sternum where they traced the slightly protruding bone. Then they slid up to his clavicle before smoothing their way back down. Then up again and repeating a couple times before slipping right underneath his pectoral. Stiles shifted his arm forward a little more so Derek had better access to his chest. When he felt the first touches of Derek's fingers against his right nipple he gave a shuddering gasp and felt Derek hum against his neck.

"You like these being touched?" Derek asked as he lightly trailed one finger so very lightly over the little nub.

Stiles couldn't give a proper answer, instead opting for a small groan which was encouragement enough for Derek who slid his entire hand over the tip of it with just enough pressure to make Stiles breathe heavily for a second. Stiles arched his back a little, pushing his chest into Derek's hand and finally he applied pressure, sending sparks of pleasure straight through Stiles. The touching was doing a number of things to his body, one of them currently growing desperate in his suddenly straining sweats.

"Derek." Stiles all but panted his name. "Please."

"Please what?" Derek couldn't help but taunt just for the satisfaction of the groan that made its way out of Stiles in response.

"Please t-touch me."

At Stiles pleading gasp he took his hand away from Stiles chest and back down his stomach to the happy trail that led to his straining pants. Teasingly he ran his fingers through the coarse hair, toying with it as he slid his hand farther down. He wanted Stiles to feel absolutely everything he was doing to him. He wanted to engrave this feeling onto his skin so he could feel and know the difference between the pain he brought himself and the pleasure Derek could bring him. Teasingly he slid his fingers not into the pants but over then, drawing a line from his happy trail over the stretched cloth to the tip of Stiles cock where it pushed against the fabric.

"Derek! Come on!" Stiles groaned loudly when he didn't feel the direct touch of his fingers and only teasing taps on his sensitive tip. "Please?" he whined.

"Alright, alright."

Derek soothed him with a gentle kiss to his shoulder and brought his hand back down to the edge of his pants and finally pushed it up and over Stiles' straining cock. Derek couldn't see it but the smell hit him hard. The salty bite of precum and the muskiness of pure Stiles. It rolled off him in waves and he groaned into Stiles' neck, his cock hard against the contours of Stiles' thighs. He felt Stiles jerk in his arms before he groaned loudly and shifted his legs. He could feel Derek pressed against him.

"Derek." He whispered.

The feel of Derek's fingers trailing up the side of his inner thigh made him quiver like a leaf. His touches were torturously slow and he could feel himself twitching every time those hot fingers slid against his skin. Once those teasing fingers finally made their way up to the base of his cock they stilled before Derek's first finger and thumb made a ring around the base and squeezed, pulling upwards until the tip of his cock rest in the circle of his fingers.

"Ngh! Derek, Derek, hah, Derek." Without conscious thought he began chanting Derek's name between every few gasps of pleasure.

Derek growled and buried his face into Stiles' neck, loving the way his arousal smelt as it rolled off him. Every time he drew his hand up his cock he'd jerk in his hand before stilling again. He could feel Stiles holding back from thrusting into his hand. His left hand gripped Stiles' left wrist and entwined their feet and legs together so they were locked together before grabbing him with his whole hand. The sound that left his lips was positively scandalous.

"Ah, Stiles." Derek groaned and began pumping him in earnest.

Stiles opened his mouth wide and squeezed his eyes shut as his eyebrows drew up. This was possibly the single most pleasurable experience he'd ever had in his life. Even the first time he'd orgasmed seemed to shy in comparison to this. Derek's hand was so hot on him and his precum slicked his hand just enough where there was a gentle slide of skin on skin. Every time Derek's thumb would brush the tip or would press against his frenulum he'd give a short pant of his name and his hips would jerk in his grasp. This felt so good, too good!

"D-Derek! St…ngh! Stop… Ngh!"

Stiles bit his lip hard to keep back the whimper of absolute pleasure as he came hard in Derek's hand. His thick cum dripped from his hand down onto his thigh but he was so blissed out from his height of orgasm he couldn't care less about the mess. Derek's hand stroked him softly through it until he'd softened once again. As soon as he was on his way down from his high he felt Derek shift behind him and his warm hand was pulled away. There was a sudden series of jerking movement and Derek groaned deeply into his neck before his body went rigid against him.

"You ok?" Stiles asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Derek huffed against his neck for a bit before he slowly nodded. "Yeah. Just…give me a minute."

Stiles nodded and trailed his right hand down his still sensitive body to his softened cock then down into the mess on his thigh. He groaned at the heat of his cum and shivered a bit. He spread his spunk around his thigh until Derek moved behind him again, his hips pulled a safe distance away but his chest was pressed against his back once more.

"Good thing the others are gone." Stiles mumbled.

"Mm." Derek mumbled into his neck before sighing and moving the both of them so he could get his left arm out from under Stiles. "We made a mess. Let's go get cleaned up."

Stiles nodded and slowly and carefully scooted out from under the blankets and swung his legs over the side of the bed. From there he stood and pulled his pants back up over his ass. When he turned slightly to look at Derek he caught him staring rather intently at the back of his pants where his ass had just been previously exposed. With a slight cough and a blush he made an awkward gesture towards Derek.

"Um, could I have a tissue? It's starting to dry and it's kinda uncomfortable."

Derek didn't say anything, just reached behind him and pulled the box over for Stiles to grab a couple and let him clean himself up.

"You want a washrag or are you good with tissues?" Stiles asked as he tossed the wad away in the bin beside Derek's side table.

"I'm good." Derek mumbled and pulled some tissues too before di+ving his hand beneath the blankets and cleaning himself off.

Stiles tried not to stare at the movement of his hands between his legs under the covers but it was kind of hard since he hadn't yet seen what Derek's dick looked like. He'd have to wait for later though since Derek had already tugged up his sweats once more and was pulling the blankets aside.

"We didn't even mess up the blankets." Derek said with pride in his voice.

Stiles nodded and stood there awkwardly until Derek patted the bed beside him once more.

"There's nothing to do so why not just stay right here. Lazing around sounds rather nice right about now."

Stiles nodded and climbed back onto the bed beside Derek and pulled a pillow around and hugged it to his chest. They sat there, Derek reading once again while Stiles though through what just happened with a small spark of something lighting in his chest. This could be what he needed. Hopefully there'd be a next time.

Stiles allowed himself just the barest hint of a smile and leaned his arm against Derek before settling back into the pillows. There'd better be a next time.

A/N: So this chapter was fun! I love all of you, my faithful supporters, readers, reviewers, all that jazz. I looove writing male x male smut and can't WAIT for when they actually get it ON!

I always end up posting all my chapters in the ridiculous hours of predawn morning time. I need to sleep. GNIGHT! ~hearts~