A/N: Okay, this one is not supposed to be taken seriously. This is my first attempt at writing humour, the prompt was: "Titanic is on. Caroline cries at jacks death and Klaus laughs because even an idiot knows that door could hold two fucking bodies. They fight."
"720!" Klaus exclaimed loudly. Caroline wiped the tears off her face and shot him a confused look, "What?" "720! That's how many people I could have killed instead of watching the nonsense you have just subjected me to." Caroline scoffs at him, "720? How did you even get to that number?" "I killed 12 of my hybrids during the space of your average Christmas carol which is approximately three minutes, that's four every minute, four times 180 minutes equals 720. Try and keep up will you, love." Caroline reached over to take another tissue out of the box, "You cannot expect me to believe you felt no emotion while watching Titanic." "I don't expect you to believe that at all. I felt many emotions: humor, boredom, perhaps even the slight tinge of annoyance." "It's because you don't value human life! That's why you can't understand how sad Jack's death is!" Caroline exclaimed, her eyes narrowing at him. Klaus let out a chuckle. "It doesn't look like Rose values human life either or she would have moved her robust bottom over so that Jack could have more space on the door and then both of them could have been saved." Caroline let out a sigh of frustration, "They couldn't both fit on the door, and Jack wanted her to live. It's romantic!" Klaus let out a loud laugh, "It's a sham that's what it is. Any idiot can discern that the door could have fit more than one person and if Rose had spent a little less time chitchatting and little more time trying to save this so-called love of her life, this film would have had a whole different ending." "Are you calling me an idiot?" Her voice rose to an inhuman level. "No love, I'm saying your blind following of everything this film is feeding you is idiotic." "You have no sense of romance! At least Jack didn't try and buy Rose with a diamond bracelet," she shot him a lewd smile. He rolled his eyes at her obvious attempt at baiting him, "For someone that is so devoted to this film you sure don't pay attention, Jack could barely afford a new pair of trousers. I think it would have been far more romantic for Rose to go with the women and children on the lifeboats and then Jack would have had the door all to himself and they could have met on the shore. But then there would be nothing for women like you to cry about." "Women like me!" She cried indignantly as she leapt off the couch, "What exactly do you mean by that?" He shrugged nonchalantly, "You know, the easily influenced, over-emotional ones." "You mean the ones that are able to make you sleep on the couch tonight," she said as she turned on her heel and made her way up the stairs to their bedroom. "Oh come on love," he called after her, "And here I was planning to draw you like Jack drew Rose, make all your dreams come true. Mist up a couple of car windows. " "Nice try!" She shouted back at him as she closed the bedroom door. "I could teach you how to spit, we could practice on Elena?"
"720!" Klaus exclaimed loudly. Caroline wiped the tears off her face and shot him a confused look, "What?" "720! That's how many people I could have killed instead of watching the nonsense you have just subjected me to." Caroline scoffs at him, "720? How did you even get to that number?" "I killed 12 of my hybrids during the space of your average Christmas carol which is approximately three minutes, that's four every minute, four times 180 minutes equals 720. Try and keep up will you, love." Caroline reached over to take another tissue out of the box, "You cannot expect me to believe you felt no emotion while watching Titanic." "I don't expect you to believe that at all. I felt many emotions: humor, boredom, perhaps even the slight tinge of annoyance." "It's because you don't value human life! That's why you can't understand how sad Jack's death is!" Caroline exclaimed, her eyes narrowing at him. Klaus let out a chuckle. "It doesn't look like Rose values human life either or she would have moved her robust bottom over so that Jack could have more space on the door and then both of them could have been saved." Caroline let out a sigh of frustration, "They couldn't both fit on the door, and Jack wanted her to live. It's romantic!" Klaus let out a loud laugh, "It's a sham that's what it is. Any idiot can discern that the door could have fit more than one person and if Rose had spent a little less time chitchatting and little more time trying to save this so-called love of her life, this film would have had a whole different ending." "Are you calling me an idiot?" Her voice rose to an inhuman level. "No love, I'm saying your blind following of everything this film is feeding you is idiotic." "You have no sense of romance! At least Jack didn't try and buy Rose with a diamond bracelet," she shot him a lewd smile. He rolled his eyes at her obvious attempt at baiting him, "For someone that is so devoted to this film you sure don't pay attention, Jack could barely afford a new pair of trousers. I think it would have been far more romantic for Rose to go with the women and children on the lifeboats and then Jack would have had the door all to himself and they could have met on the shore. But then there would be nothing for women like you to cry about." "Women like me!" She cried indignantly as she leapt off the couch, "What exactly do you mean by that?" He shrugged nonchalantly, "You know, the easily influenced, over-emotional ones." "You mean the ones that are able to make you sleep on the couch tonight," she said as she turned on her heel and made her way up the stairs to their bedroom. "Oh come on love," he called after her, "And here I was planning to draw you like Jack drew Rose, make all your dreams come true. Mist up a couple of car windows. " "Nice try!" She shouted back at him as she closed the bedroom door. "I could teach you how to spit, we could practice on Elena?"
A/N: Let me know how it is? Not funny? Should I stay away from humour?
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