Chapter 47:

In the kitchen Spike seemed to collapse finally from all of the pressure. Rather like a child, once they rounded the corner to the kitchen he allowed his entire body to become limp as he hit the floor face first. Buffy heard the dull thud of him falling and rolled her eyes as she turned around. Joyce called from the dining room, "Is everything okay?"

Buffy huffed a minute before giving her fiancé a firm toe in the ribs, he yelped, "Everything is fine mom… Spike is just being a big English baby!"

Spike let out a small whine before beginning to rise off of the floor. Now in a vertical position he moved next to Buffy giving her a hug, just because he still had that option. Joyce called from the dining room once more, "Buffy I forgot desert, Would you and William run to the store quickly? Rupert and I have begun a very in depth discussion about art of the renaissance…"

Buffy sighed into Spike's chest, forgetting to respond to her mom for a moment, "Yeah…" She said quietly, but neither her nor Spike moved, merely stood in the kitchen hanging onto one another.

"Buuffyyy…" Joyce called, and they snapped out of their bubble pulling away from one another slowly. "Yeah, mom… We heard…"

Grabbing his keys from the countertop, Spike took Buffy's hand and they wandered through the dining room towards the foyer. Both were left with a smile when seeing Joyce being extra sweet on Giles. One hand was placed softly on his forearm as she leaned in especially close as if she were hanging his every word. Stepping out the front door Buffy finally let out the fit of giggles she had suppressed. Spike grabbed her arm and made his voice as high pitched and feminine as he could, "The way the light reflects off of your half-moon specs is soooo sexy…" Buffy had to stop and hang onto the bonnet of the car for a moment, she was laughing too hard. Spike continued, "Your Biceps are huge! Kiss me!"

Buffy took in a long breath and swatted at Spike, "C'mon… We-" She breathed another moment, "We need to go…" Both got into Spike's vehicle and he quickly started it, pulling out with a zoom off into the night.

Arriving at the small grocery on the outside of Buffy's neighborhood, she dug around the back of the car for a moment, eventually pulling out Spike's hat and sunglasses, "C'mon mystery man…"

With a shrug Spike slipped on his disguise and followed her into the store. Grabbing Buffy's hand they wandered aimlessly for a moment to long, "Oh yeah- Ice cream!" Buffy said remembering why they had come in. Steering Spike towards the frozen goods they stopped at a wall of frozen ice cream.

Both were silent, just staring, thinking in their own minds about their favourite flavours. Spike's eyes wandered to the side of the freezer to a display of ice cream condiments which included items like whip cream and chocolate syrup. A smile of pure sinful evil crossed his face and soon he was left staring at Buffy, imagining a Buffy flavoured sundae all to himself.

Buffy stood, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth in perplexed innocence. Completely oblivious to the reaction she was creating with both of Spike's heads. She let out a long sigh before finally turning to him, "There's so many! Which one sh-" She finally caught his gaze and smacked him hard. "Knock it off… you look like my stalker or something… standing there and panting over me… Now which flavour?"

"Buffy flavoured…" He said and received another smack. He chuckled turning back to the wall of frozen dairy. "Vanilla? That's simple…" He thought for a moment before his own brow furrowed in thought, matching Buffy's perplexed look from a moment ago. "Or… Chocolate?"

Buffy finally took a breath and stepped forward, pulling a pint from the freezer, "Brandy and… Sardines! Who would eat his crap?"

Spike grabbed the container from her, "Depends… are we talking just the flavor of brandy or is there booze in it?" He read for a moment, then scoffed seeing it was without alcohol, "Who would eat this crap?" He asked as well putting the container back.

"What are we supposed to do?" Buffy asked really at a loss with the ice cream.

Spike looked up and down for a moment before muttering, "Fuck it." He reached in pulling out four different sorbets, 3 variations of vanilla, and 8 different candy themed flavours. He started walking towards the checkout to join the queue when Buffy rushed up and added a single chocolate to his stack.

"Never forget the chocolate." She said as Spike put the containers on the counter while they waited their turn.

"Of course of course…" He looked at the customer in front of them, and let out a small growl. Their company was merely an old lady but the huge stack of coupons she had as well as the snarling little puffball of dog she had in her cart had him on edge. Leaning down to meet eye to eye with the dog Spike showed some teeth of his own and the dog immediately retreated to the other end of the cart.

Buffy pulled on one of Spike's back belt loops, "Knock it off…" He stood up and she slid a hand into his back pocket, happy when he wrapped a possessive arm around her. Of course happy times couldn't last with them as Buffy quickly turned into Spike's chest to hide from the trouble that was approaching.

"Buffy… haven't seen you and your sugar daddy out much lately…" Cordelia and Harmony approach, placing their own items on the counter and taking on the bitchiest poses they muster up, "Thought for sure he'd died of old age by now…"

With his disguise on Spike stayed in his natural accent, using it to throw the off of the identity they did know. He smirked and picked up one of the items Cordelia was going to purchase, "Why don't you and your yeast infected vagina fuck off already…" He said politely with a smile, turning the package of Vagisil around for the rest of the store to see. Cordelia's mouth dropped and her face slowly began to crimson. Spike continued, "Oh nonono… Your mouth and vagina both need to shut…" He said reaching a single finger over and closing her slack jaw for her.

Harmony seemed oblivious to the embarrassment Cordelia was suffering and stupidly asked, "What's with all the ice cream?"

Finally the old hag in front left with her things and it was Spike's turn. Buffy was silent as he answered Harmony's question, " I find ice cream is so much better when melted upon Buffy's naked body…" The young college girl behind the counter blushed and offered Buffy an approved look after giving Spike a quick once over.

Buffy smiled, "Only reason he can get away with saying all of this is because she's a bitch…" Buffy pointed to the now glowing red Cordelia, "And he has a huuuge cock…" Spike's chest puffed up as he gathered their many bags of ice cream and started for the door. Buffy leaned in towards the girl, "And I mean huge…" She smiled doing a little flip of the hair as she turned from Cordelia and Harmony. Before she stepped out the door she turned back once more, "Plus he's a stallion in bed…" with that she left the store, receipt in hand.

"What an accent…" The anonymous girl behind the counter said more to herself than anyone. She picked up the Vagisil and couldn't help a quick laugh.

"Shut up." Cordelia said plainly to the girl. Harmony started to talk but Cordelia cut her off, "Both of you. Just shut up."

In the car Buffy was on top of the world, "That was sooooo awesome! It was hilarious! You were great babe!"

Spike took off his glasses and leaned over giving Buffy a soft kiss, "You know what was great? You, talking about my cock like that. That was brilliant."

"Okay, we were both great." Buffy said as Spike started the car. He lit up a cigarette and rolled his window down slightly as he pulled out of their parking space. Buffy was bouncing away; excited they had successfully put Cordelia in her place like that. "Do we have to go right home?"

Spike took a drag, "I wish we didn't have to, but we have melting ice cream in my Rolls Royce, and mum should be expecting us…" He looked at Buffy who pouted slightly and looked out her window. He reached over and set a hand on her knee, "But if tonight finishes well, maybe mum will let me stay over?"

Buffy smiled bouncing once more in her seat, just full of excitement.

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