A/N: So idk what y'all are gonna think about the turn this is taking, but hopefully you'll come along for the ride. I'm developing a vision for it that I personally think is a realistic possibility (not likely in terms of the show, but possible) and it may not be what you're expecting. But I have to write it how I see it.

Abby lay in bed and stared out the hotel window at the gray, rainy day outside. It looked so dreary that she didn't even want to get up. Maybe that wasn't really the weather's fault though; she had found herself feeling that way for the past couple days. She had been 'planless' in Dublin for well over a week now, and the novelty had worn off. Most of the day she just wandered aimlessly, feeling slightly useless. Then in the evening, she would camp out alone in a pub with a Guinness or a glass of wine. Was it bad that she didn't seem to know how to do nothing? No work, no groceries to do or errands to run, no one waiting for her at home, nowhere she had to be. It was weird, and she had given it a good try, but she still didn't like it. It wasn't like her to not have a purpose. But maybe that was the problem? Maybe she was just so used to defining herself based on her purpose that she didn't know who she was without one? Did that even make sense?

She had considered calling Cait the other day to see if the group was going out any time soon, but had changed her mind at the last minute. She decided she wouldn't be good company right now; she just didn't feel like herself. It wasn't like her to get down or feel listless, and she wasn't sure she could put on a convincing smile right now. In fact, she was starting to doubt this whole plan. She thought being here would make her happy, and at first it had, but now she just felt lost. And that thought seemed counterproductive, because the whole point of coming was to find herself again. Perhaps she was just a little lonely. After all, she wasn't used to travelling alone. Even when she had been travelling regularly for swim meets, she had her teammates with her. That's probably all it was, she concluded. And she had an idea that might help with that. It was a little late at home, but she doubted he'd mind.

Buck had just climbed into bed when his phone started ringing, and he was beyond relieved to see it was a FaceTime call from Abby. He hadn't heard from her in almost 5 days, and she had sounded a little off the last time they talked. She said she was all right, but something didn't feel right to him.

"Hey!" He greeted her.

"Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, I was just about to turn in. I'm glad you called, I was starting to get a little worried."

She dropped her gaze, fiddling with one of her nails. "Yeah, I'm sorry I let it go so long."

"It's okay, you've probably been busy."

She scoffed, "oh yeah, I've been living it up."

"Are you okay? I wasn't trying to imply anything."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm fine, I've just been a little bored lately, that's all."

"Oh." He wasn't sure what to do now; she seemed unhappy but he didn't want to push too hard either.

"Yeah… I don't know, maybe it's time to move on."

For a second his heart stopped. Was she talking about them?

"I was thinking maybe I'd take the train to Galway, get a change of scenery."

Oh thank God. "Sounds like a good plan. Is that far from where you are now?"

"No, not really. Just a couple hours I think."

"That's good. Well, if you go ahead with it, let me know when you get there, okay?"

"I will. And I won't fall asleep this time, I promise."

"Good," he said with a smile. "I'm really glad you called… I miss you."

That was an understatement. He missed her like crazy, and it scared the hell out of him: he wasn't used to being this attached to someone. He was dying to hold her, kiss her again, just be able to feel her. As much as he liked when she chose to FaceTime, it was almost harder to see her and not be able to touch her. Especially on a night like tonight, when she looked a little down.

"I miss you too."

They talked for a while longer and he did his best to get her smiling and laughing. She seemed to be in a better mood by the time they hung up, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

The first few days in Galway, Abby was convinced she had been right: she had just needed a familiar face and a new place. The city was bright and lively but quainter than Dublin. She took a trip to the Cliffs of Moher, went on a river cruise, and thoroughly enjoyed visiting the Spanish Arch and walking along the river. But by week's end, she found herself slipping into a similar pattern. She loved the live music at the pubs in the evening, but that was by far the highlight of her days. Once again she found herself lying around all morning, wandering along the water's edge to pass time during the day, and then going out alone at night. The locals at her pub of choice were quite friendly and the atmosphere was boisterous and fun, but she still couldn't seem to shake the cloud overhead that now followed her around. She just felt sort of… empty. And it only seemed to get worse.

Just as she was getting ready to head out for the night, her phone rang. She assumed it was Buck; she had tried to put on a brave face during their call yesterday, but she knew he wasn't convinced. When she pulled out her phone, however, she was surprised to see her brother's name on the screen.

She tapped the button to answer. "Hey!"

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm okay, how are you?"

"I'm good. You're just okay? Ireland not treating you well?"

"It's really beautiful here and I've met a lot of nice people."

"But…"

"I don't know. It's just… I thought I would be happier, you know? I was really excited about coming, and it was great at first, but now…" her voice trailed off and she sighed.

"Did something happen?"

"No… I'm just not sure what I'm doing here, I guess. I thought if I was on my own, I would remember what I was like before everything with mom."

"I don't think it's as simple as reinventing the past, Abby. I mean, you're not the same person you were then, and that's normal. No one ever stays the same."

"I guess. But then how do I figure out who I am now?"

"I wish I had the answer for you."

"I wish you did too. I'm getting really tired of feeling so... lost."

"Have you talked to Buck about any of this?"

"No," she said quietly, "I don't want him to worry about me."

"You don't think he already is? I mean, if my girlfriend suddenly took off to another country and wasn't having the time of her life, I would be worried about why."

"I hate when you're right."

He chuckled, "I know you do. So why do you really not want to tell him?"

"I just feel like this is something I'm supposed to do on my own."

"You felt that way about caring for mom too, and weren't you glad he stuck around?"

He had her there. "Yeah…"

"So maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to at least let him know how you're really feeling?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I'll think about it."

"Well, I'm on my lunch break right now so I have to get going, but don't be a stranger, okay? You know I'm always here if you want to talk. Doesn't matter if it's 3 in the morning."

"I know, thanks."

"Love you. Take care. Talk to Buck."

"Love you too. Bye."

Maybe her brother was right; maybe she should talk to Buck about this. Truth be told, she felt a little guilty. He had been so supportive, and she basically left him high and dry on this mission to find herself. And even worse: she was failing. She had to salvage this trip. New plan: time to move on again and really get out on her own.