As the weeks went by, things between Santana and her mother had not gotten any better. Every time the Latina was at home, she felt like she was walking on eggshells. Her father continued to be loving and supportive, but whenever she saw her mother, she felt an icy glare of disgust oozing off of her. Santana's mother had barely spoken two words to her since the incident and it didn't appear that she planned to anytime soon.
Santana still hadn't told Brittany about her feelings or the details of the fight with her mother. Although they had been hanging out a lot more since the incident, Brittany didn't pry or try to push Santana to talk about the night in question. Even though Santana desperately wanted to tell Brittany and end all of the secrets, the guilt she felt from her mother's hateful reaction scared her into silence.
After returning home from school one day, the surprised she received only solidified her choice to not tell Brittany.
As Santana put her backpack inside of her room, she noticed that one of the photographs hanging on the wall was missing. Upon examining the empty space further, Santana realized that the missing photo was that of her parents on their wedding day. Finding it odd that the picture just disappeared, she walks towards her parents' bedroom to see if anyone was inside. After lightly knocking on the door and receiving no response, she slowly creeps inside.
Once Santana enters the room, she's shock at what see finds. All of the drawers to her mother's dresser are open and empty. She then goes into the large walk-in closet, only to find her father's clothing remains. Santana quickly runs downstairs and into the garage, hoping that her mother's car is there. However, luck is not on her side.
Santana then calls her mother's cell phone, which goes straight to voicemail. Next, she tries to contact her mother at work. She is left dumbfounded when the receptionist tells her that Dr. Lopez no longer works at their hospital. At this point, Santana is panicking. Sure... her mother hasn't been the greatest mother over the past month, but... she was still her mom.
Santana then looks back at her phone and is about to dial her father's number when the door swings open.
"Mom?" Santana cries out.
"No, sweetie... it's me," Mr. Lopez announces. Santana immediately rushes over to her dad and wraps her arms around him. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"It's Mom... I think she's gone," Santana hesitantly says.
"What do you mean?"
"All her stuff is gone. I can't reach her on her phone and the hospital said she doesn't work there anymore," she tries to explain in a hurry.
"Wait... what? Slow down, sweetheart," Mr. Lopez says, grasping his daughter's arms.
"She's gone..."
As Mr. Lopez tries to make sense of what his daughter is saying, he sees something lying on the island of the kitchen. As he makes his way towards the island, he realizes that the item is a folded piece of paper.
Benjamin,
I love you with all of my heart, but... I can't do this anymore. I've tried to accept this new "development" in our daughter's life, but I just can't. Maybe that makes me a terrible person and a horrible mother, but at least I'm being honest. I would never trade the years that we've spent together or the miracle of our daughter that you helped create. Tell Santana that I love her and I'm sorry. I wish that I didn't feel this way, but I can't help it. Please don't try to look for me. I hope that one day you'll be able to move on and forgive me.
Love always,
Maribel
As a silent tear rolls down Mr. Lopez's eye, he crumbles the paper in his hand.
"Dad, what is it?" Santana questions.
"You were right," her father responds weakly as he wipes away the fallen tear. "Looks like it's just you and me kiddo..."
As Santana processes her father's words, her eyes start to well up. Mr. Lopez instantly embraces his daughter and coos into her ear, telling her that everything will be okay. Even though he didn't necessarily believe those words himself at that moment, he knew that he had to be strong for his daughter.
After the initial shock wore off, Mr. Lopez did a little research. He discovered that Maribel had taken out half of the money that was in their savings and had apparently resigned from her job a couple of weeks prior. The hospital was no help with any information about Maribel's possible whereabouts and would not disclose the address of any possible mail she received after she left. The real kick in the pants came when Mr. Lopez was served with divorce papers, stating "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the split.
Although it angered him that his wife - the woman that he thought he knew - would take such drastic measures to distance herself from her family and responsibilities, Ben never stopped being the best father that he could be to Santana.
Although Santana greatly appreciated her father's unconditional love and support, the guilt and anger she felt was building up inside. She couldn't believe that her mother would just up and leave like that, not providing any explanation to her at all. Even though Santana didn't know exactly what was written in the note left behind from her mother, she knew it couldn't have been anything good, based on her dad's reaction afterwards.
At school, Santana became more withdrawn and started hanging out with her friends less. Of course, she told Sam about her mom leaving because she had to tell somebody, but she was unsure of how to explain it to the rest of the group... especially Brittany.
Santana did as much as she could, helping out around the house and trying to find a job so that she could assist in paying some of the bills. Still, no matter what she did, nothing could take away the guilt she felt. Santana blamed herself for her mom leaving. If she had never found out about her feelings for Brittany, then maybe her mom would still be around and her family wouldn't be broken. No matter how many times Mr. Lopez assured her that this wasn't her fault, she couldn't help but feel responsible for ending her parents' marriage and being the cause of her father's unhappiness.
About a month after Mrs. Lopez skipped town, the school year was ending and Santana and her father sat down to have a long talk about the future. The conclusion they came to was not one that she liked at all, but she understood why it needed to be done and accepted it. With the impending changes that were about to take place, Santana knew that she could no longer keep this a secret.
On the very last day of Sophomore year, the gang decided to have a movie night/slumber party at Brittany's house. Everyone was there, including Quinn and Tina. Santana had missed the last couple of movie nights, due to the situation at home. With all of her friends gathered in one place now, she thought this would be a good time to get this boulder off her chest.
"Hey, you okay?" I ask Santana after we just finished watching The Avengers.
"Um, not really..." Santana responds back, immediately peaking my interest. "Can we talk for a sec?"
I nod my head and then grab her hand, leading her away from our group of friends and out onto the balcony.
"San, you're really starting to scare me. What's going on with you? You've been so distant lately..." I state with concern.
Santana takes a few deep breaths before finally answering me.
"My parents are getting divorced..."
"What?! Are you serious?" I reply in shock. As she solemnly nods her head, I continue. "You're parents have been together for like 20 years... that's crazy! I'm so sorry San."
As I pull Santana into my warm embrace, I can't help but wonder why she didn't tell me sooner. I mean, I couldn't imagine how she must be feeling right now, but at least she wouldn't have had to go through it alone. At least I understand why she's been so withdrawn lately.
"I wish you would've told me sooner," I whisper into her ear.
"Britt... there's more," Santana says as she takes a step back so that she can see my face. As my eyebrows scrunch in confusion, she continues. "With only one source of income now, my dad can't afford the mortgage and all the other bills by himself. He's been trying really hard for the past month to see if it was possible, but-"
"Wait... your mom's been gone for a month!" I accidentally interrupt her. "Santana, how could you not tell me? I'm your best friend... I would've tried to help or something."
"Brittany, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I've had a lot of shit on my plate lately. My family is broken... it's hard enough for me and my dad to try to keep everything together."
I really want to be mad at her for not telling me, but I can't be. That would just make me a selfish dick. Still, I wish she would've said something.
"So... what exactly does all of this mean?" I cautiously ask. I think I have an idea, but I'm really hoping that I'm wrong.
"My dad is selling the house. The realtor is coming by in the morning..." Santana softly says.
"Okay... that's okay; we'll still see each other every day. I can pick you up for school and drop you off afterwards," I reason, trying to remain positive about the situation.
I hadn't realized that I started pacing back and forth until Santana gently grabbed my wrist to stop me. As I look up into her watery eyes, a bad feeling creeps into my brain as I assume that she still has more to tell me.
"Britt... we're moving," Santana starts again.
"I know, but like I said... it's no biggie. We're still going to see each other every day," I say again, more so for my own sake.
"Brittany... we're moving to Seattle..."
As those words leave her mouth, I feel my whole body shut down. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I don't want to believe it. It can't be true... it just can't be.
"No... no, you're just moving to a more affordable place," I argue. "You're not going anywhere."
"There's an opening in my dad's company in Seattle," Santana tries again, but at this point, I can't really comprehend much else. "We'll be a lot closer to his parents. Plus, we both kinda need a fresh start... there's too many memories here."
"San, you can't leave... you just can't," I sob out as I throw my arms around her.
"I'm so sorry, Britt-Britt... I wish there was another way," she replies as her voice begins to crack. "I promise to call, text, or FaceTime every day. I'll come visit on holidays and before we know it, we'll be off to college together."
"I don't know what I'm gonna do without you," I cry harder as I tighten my grip around her, ignoring her sympathetic words.
"You'll be fine... you still have the rest of the gang," Santana states, trying to make me feel better.
"They're not you, Santana... no one could ever be you," I sniffle out as she continues to just hold me.
Really, it should be me holding and consoling her. I can't help it though. My best friend just dropped this huge bombshell on me. She's had time to cope with it and sort out her feelings. As for me... this is all brand new.
And it sucks!
After spending a while outside, Santana and I finally make it back inside where all of our friends are waiting. As she slowly breaks the news to them, all of them appear to have similar reactions to mine. No one wants to believe it, but it doesn't make it any less true.
As everyone tries to reel in their feelings, I feel frozen in the background. This doesn't feel like real life... it can't be. Santana will probably find a new best friend and forget all about me. I know it's stupid and selfish of me, but I just don't want to lose her. Not only that, but now... I'll never know if Santana and I could've been something more.
Being 16 sucks... ass!
Halfway through summer break, the day I've been dreading finally arrives.
After throwing a going away party for the Lopezes, San's father leaves to pack up the rest of their belongings in the car before they make their journey to Seattle. As Santana individually says goodbye to each of our friends, the gang files back inside to give me and her some privacy.
"I can't believe that I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and you're not gonna be here," I whisper out as I feel my eyes start to water.
"I'll be back soon..." she softly replies, trying to ease my sadness. "I wish I could take you with me."
"Yeah, me too..."
"Before I forget," Santana begins as she reaches into her backpack to retrieve something, "I want you to have this."
As Santana hands me a very familiar royal blue hoodie, I can't help but be in awe by the sentiment.
"This is your favorite hoodie..."
"I know... I figured you could keep it warm for me until I get back," she shyly responds back.
"I will," I state firmly, trying to hold in my tears.
"You promise?" Santana says as she extends her pinkie towards me. I link mine with hers say "I promise" back to her.
"Sweetie... it's time to go," Mr. Lopez says from the car.
As Santana gives him a nod in acknowledgement, she pulls me into hug that I never want to be released from.
"Don't forget about me, okay?" Santana struggles to get out.
"I couldn't if I tried," I reply back with a shaky voice. "Call me as soon as you get there."
"I will. See ya Britt," she says as she gives me one final squeeze.
As I watch Santana walk towards her father's car, I tightly grip her hoodie closer to my chest. It's the only tangible thing I have of her at the moment. Once she reaches the car and places her hand on the door handle, she stops abruptly and drops her backpack. Santana then turns around and makes her way back towards my stationary position.
"Did you forget something?" I ask with questioning eyes.
"Um, yeah... I did," she whispers out.
Before I have a chance to respond, the whole world stops moving as I feel Santana gently grab the sides of my face with her hands and attach her lips to mine. My eyes open widely at the initial shock until they eventually flutter close. I can't believe this is actually happening right now.
Out if all of the times I've pictured this moment in my head, I never thought that it would really happen. I want to kiss her back so hard right now, but my body is completely frozen and rooted to this spot in front of the porch. All I can do is squeeze my eyes shut, grip the hoodie draped across my arms tighter to my body, and make some type of effort to move my lips with hers.
Santana's lips are so soft against mine that I almost forget where I am for a second. I've never felt so much love and tenderness from a kiss before, granted I've only ever kissed one other person in my life. But, no matter how many kisses I shared with Kelly throughout our 5 months together, I never felt half of what I'm feeling right now, being kissed by Santana.
As I feel the warmth of her lips disappear from mine, Santana leans her forehead against mine. I can tell that her heart rate has accelerated, based on how breaths are coming out all short and choppy. As I slowly open my eyes, I yell at myself internally for not being able to move or say anything. All I can do is look in Santana's beautiful mocha eyes through her glasses and try to dissect what's going on in that pretty little head of hers.
As San stares back at me, she finally opens her mouth to say something. I'm dying to hear her explanation on what just happened between us.
"I gotta go..." Santana says as she lifts up on her tippy toes and leaves a lingering kiss on my forehead.
Before I can say or do anything, Santana turns around, speed walks back to her father's car, and disappears from my sight. I'm left standing here, in the same spot and in the same position as before. My feet can't move and my eyes won't blink. I'm completely flabbergasted by this turn of events.
My best friend just kissed me. How am I supposed to sleep after experiencing that?
Author's Note:
Hey guys! Here's the second part of that chapter as promised. Hope you enjoyed both new chapters, even with all of the angst. I promise, the next chapter will be a lot lighter and happier. But hey… at least we've got our first kiss ;)