A/N: Someone prompted me with 'domestic Kurtbastian' and this drabble immediately popped into my head. This is another in the group that includes 'Daddies' and 'A Trip to the Doctor'. Rated NC17 for language and mention of sex.
"This is your fault, you know," Kurt gripes as he slowly makes his way across the living room carpet, plucking stray Legos from the pile and separating the blocks into different containers.
"For getting carpet instead of keeping the hardwood floors?" Sebastian smirks, watching his husband's painfully sluggish progress, shaking his head every time Kurt hisses when he finds a particularly sharp block with the heel of his hand instead of his eyes.
"That," Kurt agrees, "and for buying Thomas every single Lego known to man."
"The boy needs to be able to build whatever he wants to build," Sebastian argues.
Kurt kneels up straight and leans from side to side, pivoting at the waist to crack his tired back.
"Yeah, but he has enough Legos to build a full-scale model of Grand Central Station."
"Well, no one says you have to separate them by size and color, Captain OCD," Sebastian quips. "If you'd just grab them and toss them all together, you'd have been done an hour ago and we'd be fucking by now."
Kurt blows out a breath in frustration, tossing his hands in the air.
"You could be down here helping, you know, instead of standing around making smart remarks."
"I could," Sebastian says, his smirk curling devilishly, "but the view of your ass is so much better from up here. Besides, I've got that old war injury."
Kurt looks up at Sebastian with disgust.
"What war injury, you faker?" Kurt snaps.
"The one I got from fighting with you for all those years when you should have just given up like a good boy and agreed to be my boyfriend."
Kurt crosses his arms.
"Well, I married you, you asshat, so it looks like you won and I lost. So get down here and help me."
Sebastian tilts his head and sighs.
"You're right," he admits. "I should. But I think I'll get a beer instead."
Kurt scoffs as Sebastian winks at him and makes his way across the carpet towards the kitchen. Kurt shakes his head and bends low over the floor, gritting his teeth and getting back to the arduous job of hunting down Legos.
"God damned motherfucking shit!" Sebastian barks out suddenly. Kurt snaps his head up and sees his husband hopping around on one foot, the other foot raised and leaning against his knee. From his place on the floor Kurt can see two small red blocks lodged in the soft skin of Sebastian's arch.
Kurt smiles.
Maybe there's a God up there somewhere looking out for him after all.