Disclaimer NCIS is not mine

Rules are There to be Broken

'We all bleed red, all taste rain, All fall down, lose our way
We all say words we regret, We all cry tears, all bleed red
Sometimes we're strong, sometimes we're weak
Sometimes we're hurt, it cuts deep
We live this life breath to breath
We're all the same, we all bleed red'
-Ronnie Dunn, All Bleed Red

She supposed it had become her morning ritual of sorts. The way that every morning – even when she had no appointment to make – she would awaken at 0630, something that back in DC would have been a lie in considering she was usually in the office by that time. Then, Jenny would do fifty sit ups – or until the muscles in her stomach screamed so much she couldn't do another. After that she would lie on her back for thirty seconds before doing fifty jack knives. The red head had already decided that given the chance she would buy a punch bag and place it in the living area of the apartment. That might relieve her boredom on the days when she was supposed to be dealing with her clients. Something she didn't need to do as Decker was in charge of that side of her cover.

Once her morning exercises were completed, and she felt as though she could happily curl back up in bed. She'd walk to the bathroom, strip and get in a boiling hot shower. So hot that the seam caused the mirrors outside of the bathroom to cover over in a layer of water vapour. So hot; that she had to hiss at the feeling of it first hitting her bare skin. Then, Jenny would dry her hair, and either straighten or curl it. Spend half an hour applying her makeup to the highest standard possible, and finally reward herself with a mug of steaming black coffee. That said coffee would be drunk as she stood looking out on the city below her. Watching the reflection of the steam raising up from the mug of dark liquid she held in her hands.

And that morning ritual was one she had completed that morning. As she stood with her coffee she watched over the city as she always did, she watched the ripples in the river as it travelled downstream. Bypassing the city, leaving behind it all the worries and fears that gave the city its dark atmosphere. Even at noon when the sun was high, the city was dark. The sky gray, and everything was doom and gloom. Moscow was depressing in the winter; that was evident to her after only being in the city for a short time.

It was no holiday destination.

People came to the city for business. To deal with their sister businesses, and rivalling opponents. They came to drink harsh vodka and get drunk. What they did not do was come to enjoy the beauty. Because whilst some of the architecture could take away some ones breath. Whilst the city was unique in the way that the past met so boldly with the present, old greying stone sat next to glass frontages.

No one came to Moscow, in the winter, for the fun of it.

Not now at least.

She placed the cup to her lacquered lips, and took a sip of the beautifully dark and strong liquid. Feeling the thrill of awakening, as the caffeine rushed around her body and her heartbeat momentarily quickened. Today was just another day, just another grind to try and prove herself to be good enough for the critics. Jenny had returned to the apartment yesterday to find a load of blue prints for weapons on the counter. The Itinerary read a sticky note on the top of them. They were what she could offer, and that was a heck of a lot. Everything from standard issue hand guns with a six bullet magazine, to machine guns only used in the harshest of war zones. Hand grenades, and RPG's, she could offer them all. And every single item was Armed Forces issue – just as her cover dictated.

It was the first sign that soon she might be getting to where she needed to be to play with the big boys. To get this mission well and truly under way and then get herself the hell out of Moscow and try and become Jenny Shepard again.

She'd made arrangements to meet with Yakov tonight in the bar where he had first approached her. He'd told her had had 'big news for her'. Something that could either end up being the making of the mission, or the thing she had been dreading which could break it down into a million pieces at her feet. Could pull apart her delicate façade and alias, that could be the final nail in her coffin. But that was something she refused to contemplate. She'd acted as painstakingly slowly as she knew that she needed to, in order to gain their trust, gain their respect, and hopefully gain entrance to the group of superiors that ran the circus. In the same way as they had acted the first time around – when it was her and Gibbs. Thankfully though, this time around she had a back story that they knew – mainly because they had been part of - to help her along and give her push forward that she needed to speed up.

So she stood there, watching over the city, thinking of the evening that was approaching. She'd chosen her outfit wisely, a more relaxed one than she generally chose. Something which she hoped would show him how relaxed she was around them now. Jenny wore a pair of grey, tight fitting trousers, with black leather zip pockets. On her top half she wore a baggy royal blue sweater that fell off one shoulder and revealed the lacy strap of her black bra. On her feet she wore the black louboutin ankle boots; her lipstick matched the red of the soles. Her hair was loose and natural, a mass of thick curls that made her look so much more dangerous.

Taking a final sip of her coffee she took the mug back to the kitchen and looked around her apartment aimlessly. Not knowing what to do with herself once more. So, her thoughts fell back Gibbs, as they seemed always to do so …

He'd only been going to the city to get their next allowance of cash. Something which was a new initiative in order to attempt to cut back unnecessary costs – also known as the SecNav sticking his nose in. It was dusk in the city. The sun had long since moved under the sky line, but the sky was yet to fully turn to the pitch black thickness that took over it at night. Instead it stayed in a charcoal grey like state. There were no stars to light the sky; the moon was out of view, so the mellow orange light cast by the street lights was the only illumination. The shadows they cast were long and almost spread from one side of the road to the other. A road which was silent now, few people went out in the city after dark, not during the week anyway. So as he emerged from the old building which housed the bank, he found himself being the only person on the street. As he began to walk, he pulled the thick black woollen coat closer to his body, and flicked the collar up to try as keep himself warm.

As he walked, slowly, he was thinking about many things. Thinking about Will and Stan who were back in DC, no doubt fully involved in the op themselves. Then, predictably he thought of Jenny, the red headed partner with whom he worked. And Gibbs couldn't help but wonder as to where she was right in that moment. In fact he was so caught up in his own world of thoughts, that he thought he saw he walk down the street. Her red hair blowing backwards in the wind, heels clicking on the ground to the beat of some song she was no doubt humming in her head. But then he blinked – a good ten times – and he blinked again.

And, even after all that blinking, there she still was. Only now she wasn't walking, instead she was opening the door to one of the bars. Her figure was perfectly silhouetted by the long camel coat. Her red hair contrasted against the pale material perfectly. His eyes were drawn to her, his jaw dropping as she disappeared behind the door and into the building.

The special agent didn't know how long he stood there for, all he knew was that by the time he realized he was still stood there, he had a thin layer of snow on his shoulders. Gibbs had known that he could see her, that just walking around the city caused a chance of bumping into her. But, he'd just thought that it wouldn't happen. He'd not even considered the chance that he would see by pure accident. But there she had been, write near him. Mere meters away. He ran a hand through his cold and damp hair, looking around the abandoned street. Once more it was empty, and the snow was falling, he'd been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't even realised that it had started. But the snow was of little importance compared to what he had just witnessed. As he thought about her, suddenly he forgot about everything that his head was screaming at him not to do, and the next thing he knew, he was opening the door into the bar she had walked into.

The bar was dark; he couldn't make out many of the features. There was a main bar, and then some booths around the edge, chairs and tables were in the middle, and it was basically filled with as many chairs as they could possibly get in. The radio played quietly in the background, although it was more just the sound of the static crackling than it was the sound of music. Unlike most American bars, there was no TV showing whatever sporting game that was currently being lost.

Gibbs walked in, and looked around the bar. Among the multiple heads of black or brown hair, it didn't take long for him to spot Jenny and her iconic red hair. He was all set to walk straight over, until he saw that she was with someone. She was leaning ever so slightly over the table, in a way that told him she was flirting. Whether she was flirting to for the fun of it – which he could not deny her the right to do, or flirting to get information he didn't know. And when he saw a man he recognised from the last op sat opposite her, reality finally struck him.

Gibbs realised that this wasn't finding her to be in the same holiday destination. That wasn't what this was for her – for him; it could be. If he wanted to go sightseeing, or take a flight to Amsterdam for the weekend then he could. But Jenny was here on business, she was here for the greater good of the United States of America. And he couldn't just go walking over to her and blow the entire mission.

He wanted to head slap himself, but Gibbs was aware that would draw attention to himself. So instead he walked over to the bar, stood in the dark corner, where he could watch Jenny, but he hoped that he couldn't be seen. The silver haired man caught to attention of the bar tender, and in flawless Russian he ordered bourbon. Unlike Jenny he had no cover to maintain, so he drank his preferred drink, and left her to the Vodka.

"Are you going to tell me what my surprise is, Yakov?" she asked him, hair falling over one shoulder, whilst he sweater slipped off of the other one. Jenny leant on the table, resting her head on her hand, and looking like a seductress in every which way possible. Her eyes looked down to her glass. She swirled the clear liquid around so that rose up the sides softly, and spun as it went. Taking a sip she looked over at him, and with a wicked smirk that made most men weak at the knees she said; "S'il vous plaît?"

"You have made quite an impression with many people in this city Jullietta." Said Yakov, as he down his double vodka in one, and immediately ordered another. He drank the drink like it was water, something that Jenny admired. Whilst she could drink the harsh alcohol, she didn't particularly like it. Whiskey would always be her drink of choice, preferably bourbon when she was given the option. If she was honest Vodka was at the bottom of her preference, but it wasn't the worst thing. And because it fitted with her cover and gained her some respect; she drank it.

"Well it doesn't take much, mais, je suis le feu dans les rues." The red head said, slipping into flawlessly accented French without a second thought. She'd forever thank those people who had forced her to practice the language and learn it until she was faultless. Because of it, she now sat in a bar, doing something that most would think that she wouldn't be able to, and she was doing it perfectly. Being mysterious, without being too untrustworthy, and that was thanks to the language she had had hammered into her.

"I do not understand you're language, but I shall hope that it was something complementary, and leave it at that." They remained silent, as he thought about how to word what he was about to tell her. As he looked over at Jenny, he saw the way she looked around the bar, with a look that made him wonder if she wanted to be somewhere else. Moscow was a place of business, and she was definitely used to a different sort of life. That made him wonder what she was doing in the city. But he couldn't wonder, not on his pay check. That was something for everyone else to think about. "My bosses seem to think a lot of you, they have the opinion that you may one day be running this town."

"That is something that I am sure makes them choke on their words – we women are not really welcomed in the arms world."

"You may well be the frontier of change in this world then Jullietta, because they want a meeting with you. It takes most people years to get a meeting with them."

"Yakov, what does it mean?" she asked him, trying to make herself sound vulnerable. Even if she was the frontier of women in the arms industry, it didn't mean that the men still didn't want her to be vulnerable. So she put the act on, in this world, she couldn't just say how she felt with the ease that was allowed in America, she had to live up – or down if as situation may require – to their expectations.

"It means, Jullietta, that they want to do business with you. That's what you always wanted, isn't it?"

"Who wouldn't Yakov!" And she smiled at him, before downing the rest of her drink. Her eyes looked down at the empty glass, trying desperately to hide the smile on her face. Because it was a good thing – the best news – and it meant that she was one step closer to getting this op finished with and done. But the atmosphere didn't last very long, his next question broke the atmosphere into a million pieces.

"What would you say if Leo were here?" Jenny stopped dead in her thoughts and looked at him. She'd been so caught up in what she was thinking about that she didn't notice Yakov looking around the bar, she didn't notice his face turn cold and hard, his jaw clenching or hand fisting, as his eyes fell on the man who was attempting to hide in the corner. Now Jenny looked in his eyes, and saw coldness.

"I'd kill him, but there would be too many witnesses." She said, joking, but then she saw his face, saw what was in his eyes and she stopped. Suddenly her heart was beating a mile a minute, and all she could think of was Jethro's safety. "Yakov, what is going on?" Her voice was hard now, the cocky and playful personality had gone out of the window, and now she sat there worried. Because Leo had only ever been mentioned a couple of times and on those occasions she'd been the one who generally spoke the dreaded name of a traitor.

"The traitor is sat in that corner, Jullietta. And I say this because you seem to be a lot a better without him. But you will have to choose him or the arms world."

"I'll choose the arms world in a heartbeat."

"Get rid of him Jullietta, before you lose everything you have worked for." And with that, Yakov stood up and left and Jenny glared over at her partner who was sat in the corner. And at that moment, Gibbs looked at her, and both of them were well aware that she knew he was there, and she was not at all happy. Her eyes were a blaze with anger, he could see her fist clenching under the table, and her posture becoming stiff.

It was as he looked at her then; he saw that she wasn't the young and naïve Jennifer Shepard he had taken out to Europe with him. No longer did she look up to him in such a way that he was her god. She would cover her own ass if that meant throwing his under the bus – or at least she would do so when it came to this mission. As he saw her stand up and nod discretely outside it finally hit him just how stupid of an idea it had been to follow her. To subconsciously try and make her notice him, want her to run into his arms like something from a cliché movie. He was suddenly aware of the fact that her companion had spotted him. That he had nearly made everything she was working for fall down around her feet.

He had nearly had her killed.

Something that he would never manage to forgive himself for if it went that far. Something, he knew that no one would ever forgive him for. So he did as he was told, he stood up, downed the rest of his drink in one, and went to leave the bar, giving it one last look before he did. Reminding himself that he had made it come to this.

Outside was cold, and the snow was still softly falling. There were shoe prints in the snow now though. As he exited he pulled on his coat, and pulled it tight around him to keep his body heat in. An attempt to try and stop him freezing his backside off. And then he saw it, the small amount of red hair disappearing down an alley. And with the same stupidity that had made him go in the bar just moments ago, he ran down the alley, and followed her.

Back in the bar she'd nodded at him to go outside, but as soon as she had gotten out there, she'd realised that if she came face to face with him then she wouldn't want to go back. Seeing the worry in those crystal blue eyes, the way his salt and pepper hair blew in the wind – she wouldn't be able to cope. Jenny would simply want to give up. So she walked away from the bar, hoping she'd be able to leave the thought of him there.

"Hey J-!" He nearly shouted her name, nearly shouted 'Jenny', something that he was sure she would have slapped him across the face for doing. But she did nothing; she didn't acknowledge his presence until he caught up with her and grabbed her arm, causing her to spin around. And that was when he saw her, up close, for the first time in what felt like a very long time. "Please, I'm. . ."

She looked at him, and a bitter smirk formed on her face as she looked at him. "You can't even swallow your god damn pride, and stop acting like John Wayne for two minutes even when you are in the wrong!" She stated, stopping herself from shouting as she harshly removed her arm from his grasp. And she looked at him dead in the eye, and she just wanted to cry. Because whilst she was over the moon to see him, over the moon to be looking in his eyes. Jenny was hurt, because he'd nearly risked her life, he was an agent – he knew the risk that did to her life – and yet he'd still done it. "You're an idiot!" She said, hissing, before she just walked away - but Jethro ran after her.

"Please!" He said and she stopped and turned to him, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I was stupid, I know, but I wanted to make sure you were safe!"

"So you decided to risk my life by doing that?!"

"Did you get out okay?" And she looked at him, before nodding, and sighing softly.

"Yeah, he told me to get rid of you." She looked in Gibbs' eyes as he nodded at her. "I'm in, I'm in and you're gonna have to deal with that."

"I'm glad –"

"I don't care Gibbs, I don't wanna see you again until the mission is over – end of!" And with that she stormed off, and left him gobsmacked. It wasn't that she felt that way – because she didn't. Jenny wanted him to be by her side more than anything. She wanted to return to that apartment and see him sat there on one of the chairs drinking coffee like she had done last time. She wanted to go back and have someone to moan at, wanted that flat to feel less like a cold prison cell. But she also knew that that was not a possibility. And Gibbs needed to know that too.

So she was being blunt.

Even if it did mean that she broke her heart in the process.

That night Jenny decided to walk home instead of calling a taxi. She was armed, and safe. If her name was as frequently mentioned as Yakov had implied that it was then no one would approach her. The red head found the river easily, making her way through a series of back streets without even thinking. And as she stood on the path that ran down the river bank, she stopped and looked out over the frozen city. Snow was been blown by the wind. Her hair blew back like a fire caught in the wind of the forest. White speckles landed in it, some melting and some not. And as she stood there, she wiped away a tear before it froze. The city was at her feet, she was about to walk above them all – straight to the top.

And yet all she wanted to do was run. Run as fast as her Louboutin feet could carry her. Run away from this city, this country, this continent. Run back into the comforting orange walls of NCIS headquarters. Go back to her life with Will and Stan, with Gibbs before he married then they had that quirky relationship.

It's true what they say – that you never know what you have until it's gone. And as she stood there overlooking a cold city, no longer Jennifer Shepard, but not feeling like Jullietta either, she knew that she would do anything to go back in time.

Reviews please?!