Finally Gol gets a visitor he won't mind so much.

Chapter 57: Constellations

Gol had the strangest dream. The Light Eco Sage had already come for the day, and… No, that wasn't the dream. That, unfortunately, had really happened. But, then, afterward, once his unconsciousness had turned into dreaming, he had dreamt of his dear sister and himself, and they were back at the citadel, but he couldn't remember what they were doing, because the next thing he knew, she had turned into wood, and when he looked down, he found the same to be happening to himself, starting from his feet and spreading upwards. And then the room became infinitely tall as someone picked him up and began to shake him, and yet he couldn't see who it was. And then there was a voice, calling his name, and… Come to think of it, he had heard that voice before, hadn't he?

The Dark Sage became quite aware of something touching his arm, but he couldn't get away, his arm feeling…like it was tied down. Wait a minute, this was…

One eye opened to find the shape of someone looming over him, and he attempted to sit up, only to be forced right back down again by the restraints binding his limbs. His other eye opened, and he blinked until his vision cleared up about as much as it ever did anymore, to find the source of the voice and the most ridiculous grin.

"Yay, lazy-eyes is up! You're a really deep sleeper today, y'know. You don't look like you should be, though. I always thought skinny people seemed like they'd be light sleepers."

Gol drew in half a breath, which was about as much as could be expected lately. "What in Precursors' name are you talking about?"

Kassra giggled, releasing his arm before dropping down to sit beside him on the bed. His medication was currently making her grin inexplicably nauseating. That was certainly an unexpected side effect.

"So, how are you feeling?' she asked, lifting her arms up just so she could plop them down into her lap.

"Where have you been?" he said. Why did people keep asking him how he was feeling? Was it really not obvious? He was definitely not the picture of health right now, if he had ever been.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. I-I thought you were, y'know…"

When she didn't continue, he said, "Sleeping?"

"No, I thought," she leaned in closer, her voice growing quiet, as if sharing with him a secret, "I thought you were, y'know…late…"

"Late for what?"

She straightened up again. "You know, when a person is…and people say…that they're…late…"

He blinked at her, furrowing his brow as he tried to solve her unintentional riddle. "You mean…you thought I was deceased?..."

She nodded. "But, I…I didn't want to say it that way."

"No. No, I'm not either of those. Who told you that I was?"

"Well, they've been saying that you were…you know…that the guy with the blonde and green hair had…"

"That he had killed me? Is that what you're, in your horribly nonsensical way, trying to tell me?"

Once again, she bobbed her head up and down, her ponytail doing the same. "Yeah, that's what they said. But, just yesterday, the Green Sage told me that wasn't true. That they had only said that because…" She paused, eyes retreating from him to stare into her lap. "Because people wouldn't be too happy if they knew. Because if the King and the Governess of Haven City had told everyone the truth…" She looked up at him again, eyes wide. "There's a lot of people that…if they knew you were still alive, they might try to do something about it."

"And does that surprise you?"

She gave a weak shake of her head, her eyes seeming to have a rather hard time focusing on his. "No, I…I guess not, but…it still makes me sad."

Gol watched her, studying her face with half-lidded eyes. "And do you think I deserve to live, after everything I did? I mean, do you honestly think I deserve it?"

She considered him, biting her lower lip for a second before answering, "Killing you isn't going to undo what happened. And—"

"Oh, and so now you can say such a word?"

The interruption caused her to falter, her face cracking into half a grin. "And I know you have good in you." She poked him in the chest. "I've seen it."

He grunted. "And when was that?"

"Lots of times."

"I often suspect that you go out of your way to make your answers as vague as possible."

She tried to make her face serious. "Maybe." Though, she couldn't hold it for very long before the smile returned. 'You look a bit different, you know."

He groaned. "I wish people would stop telling me that."

"Why?"

"Because, do you know how unsettling it is to hear that your appearance is changing? And that only hints at what changes must be going on that you can't see. I am the Dark Eco Sage, and already I can feel the Dark Eco leaving me. Your statement that I look different only confirms that it's not all in my head."

She frowned. "Sorry."

"It's too late for that now." He thought over the obvious question in response to her comment, wondered whether or not he really wanted to know, then, asked anyway. "And in what way do I look different?"

She smiled again. "Well, for one thing…"

His eyes widened. "How many things are there?"

"A few." She cleared her throat. "For one thing, your hair is all white now. And…"

"I was afraid to hear the word 'and'," he said under his breath.

"And your skin is lighter. Less blue, but…still blue, if that makes sense."

"It doesn't."

Kassra leaned in closer, studying his face like one analyzing something in a microscope. He winced at the sudden attention, trying to look away, but she put a hand on either side of his face, holding him steady as she stared into his eyes.

"Your eyes are blue now. They weren't before, were they? I thought they were red."

"Please stop staring at me."

She released him and leaned away to sit up straight again. "Don't worry. That's about all. You're still your same, handsome self," she said, struggling to hold back a snort of laughter.

"You're mocking me."

Her grin only widened at this, but she shook her head, nonetheless. "What, do you believe you're ugly?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. All that matters is you're teasing me. Don't deny it."

She shook her head even more vigorously this time. "Mm-mm."

He rolled his eyes, going still when he thought of one more question as to his current appearance. "What about…does my face look any different?"

"Your eye color changed."

"I know. You already told me."

"And your skin color."

"Besides that!" He frowned at her in such a manner, it was almost as if he expected it to somehow cancel out her smile. "Does my face look any different?" He raised an eyebrow at her, as if that somehow would force her to figure out just exactly what he meant.

Both of her eyebrows raised, the point perhaps being taken. "Oh, I…" She shook her head. "No, there's no change there."

"Hmm." Of the many changes he had undergone due to his prolonged exposure to Dark Eco, one in particular, namely the bony protrusions that had grown on either side of his mouth, well, they were one feature he could have lived without.

"So," she continued, and he looked back at her, just as cheery as ever, even if he looked rather glum, "back to my first question. How are you feeling?"

Not that again. He gave a sigh. "I'm…I'm not particularly great, but what does it really matter? How are you feeling?" They may feel obligated to ask such questions, but that didn't really mean he had to answer them, did he?

"I'm good. Especially now that I know you're okay. You are okay, aren't you? The Green Sage said they were treating you with Light Eco. It's supposed to make you—"

"I already know about that."

"Oh, right. Well, is it…is it bad?"

"At least as bad as being strapped to a bed day and night."

"Yeah…how is that?"

He stared at her. "You're not serious."

"Well, I…I'm just making small talk. I'm…sorry this is happening."

He was, too. He was sorry about so many things. "Your figurines," he said. "They got left back at the citadel."

"Oh, no! And the pearl?"

He considered if her last question really needed to be answered, until he saw that she was deep in thought. At least, that's what he assumed she was doing staring off into space like that. Then, she nodded to herself, and he raised an eyebrow at her. Brow set in determination, she said, "I'll go get them."

"You really don't need to."

She stood, her hands turning into fists at her sides, sure signs of determination. "It won't be any trouble. I'll be happy to do it."

"I'm sure you will be." She was always happy for one inadequate reason or another. "But—"

"No, 'but's', mister. At the very least, I went through a lot of trouble finding and/or making those things, and I'm not about to let them get left behind. They'll get lonely, y'know."

Who in their right mind actually said "and/or"? Before he could argue further, before he could decide whether or not he should even expend the effort on such a thing, she said, "I'll be right back, 'kay? I promise." And then she was off, running towards the doorway, and as he watched her go, he couldn't help but wonder whether or not he had simply imagined this whole exchange. Considering how bizarre it was, he probably hadn't.

He would never understand that girl.

Just as Kassra had once said some time ago, when she set out to do something, she made sure she did it, and this time was no exception. Gol woke up the next day, sometime in the afternoon, sore and weak, but with the frightening revelation that the Light Eco may no longer be causing him quite the pain as it used to. He didn't have long to be disturbed over this matter, however, before he was assaulted by the woman's smile yet again as she presented him with his missing items after an unnecessary quiz about what he thought she had in her pockets. As if he really didn't know.

And day after day went by, and she would visit, the figurines and the pearl left on the table nearby to keep him company while she was away, she had said, along with a vase of cactus flowers she took back once she realized they were at fault for his sudden attack of chronic sneezing. The time she was here would then be filled mainly with her talking, and she would tell him about what she had been up to and about her new home, which she was currently sharing with a few people from Haven City. And she claimed to have no idea what he was talking about when he asked her how much longer she thought her houseguests would be able to stand her chattering. As far as she knew, they had yet to grow bored of her stories. Highly unlikely.

She also told him that she had managed to corner Samos again (his interpretation of the events, not hers), to find that the boy had returned to Haven City to see what he could do about ridding it of the Dark Eco it had been flooded with. Apparently, he thought he could clean the place up with Light Eco, leaving Gol to cringe at the thought of the place becoming so hideous again. It was great news, according to her, even if he didn't agree, as it meant that the people from Haven City could finally return home, and while she would miss the company, it would be nice to have her house to herself again soon. He was sure her guests would be more than happy to return to Haven City, as well, for more reasons than one.

And then her talk was filled with all manner of random things, of the new figurines she was carving (even one depicting the boy's ferret, as she said he was rather adorable and of a species she had never seen before, even if the former couldn't be farther from the truth), and the new decorations she had added to her home, plus the new garden she had cultivated, though it was just a small thing consisting of pots on her doorstep and throughout her house. Nevertheless, she still appeared to be strangely impressed with it, even though he couldn't say the same. And most of the time, he just listened, while she appeared to be fine with being responsible for the vast majority of the talking, an arrangement that worked quite well for him, as he wasn't in much of a mood to speak, and at least the noise she created was a surprisingly welcome break from the silence these past weeks had been filled with, whether it be here or back in his citadel.

And not only did she chatter at him and keep his mind occupied with her stories, but she also merely kept him company. Sometimes she would just sit silently nearby, even until late in the night, and he would only find her gone much later after waking from a sleep he didn't even remember he had fallen into. Or she would point out constellations he had taught her as she gazed out through the window, and while he couldn't see what she was talking about to confirm whether or not her guesses were correct, it didn't matter. She also brought him plain broth, much more agreeable to his stomach than even her vegetable soup, a rather awkward affair, however, considering she had to spoon feed him. But, she was able to find a way that he could sit up, which gave his sore back a welcome break and his lungs a chance to rid themselves of the liquid that had been collecting in them.

And he had to really admit, even if he wasn't going to go out and say it, that his body was beginning to feel less sick than it had before, his declining health starting to pick up again with his recent special treatment, and each day didn't seem so dismal, even if he continued to dread the Light Eco treatments as much as ever. At least his days weren't so empty, even if they were much noisier, but he certainly couldn't call the silent days and nights he had endured up until Kassra's return tranquil, either. In fact, they were anything but. Now, however, even with less quiet and with less time to think on his own, things were at least becoming more peaceful again, if only he could forget he was a prisoner and that each morning brought more pain. With her here, he could try to ignore these things and not despair over his uncertain future, and he could try to pretend that things were better than they really were, even if he knew that wasn't true.

And right now, it was yet another night, with her perched in a chair nearby, legs tucked to her chest, as she faced the window beside his bed, he unable to do anymore but watch her, though at least he was currently in a more comfortable position, propped up with a multitude of pillows she had scavenged.

He saw her point to the sky outside, saying, "And that one's His Majesty, King Leaper Lizard, um…Rupert…Scalebeard…the Fifth."

"You can't just invent your own constellations," he said, his eyes leaving her to stare at the wall ahead of him, the moonlight leaving various shapes upon it as it shown through intricate window panes.

"How do you know it's made up? Maybe out here in the Wasteland, we do have leaper lizards and sand crabs in the stars."

"Only because you want there to be."

"Well, who decides on the constellations in the first place? What gives them the right to tell us that the way they see the stars is the only right way? Well?"

Gol turned his head to find her, arms hanging limply across her knees, staring at him as if she really did expect an answer. He met her gaze, face expressionless, before answering, "It was me. I was the one who named all the constellations. Are you saying I didn't do a good job of it?"

She sniggered. "You're lying. You liar!"

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Am I?"

She bobbed her head up and down. "Definitely. You're definitely fibbing." She wagged a finger at him. "That's very naughty, y'know."

"Hmm."

She turned back to the window, a large grin remaining on her face as her eyes scanned the sky once again, no doubt in search of yet another ridiculous, fictional constellation.

"And right there," she said, pointing skyward again, "is a cactus that got caught trying to get away with robbery."

"What?"

She looked back over at him. "You've seen them, haven't you? The cactuses that look like they have their arms up." She mimicked this, taking on the vaguest image of a bandit caught red-handed, even if she would be one that you would have a hard time taking seriously.

"I believe it's cacti."

"Huh?"

"The plural of cactus is cacti, not," he paused, grimacing over the butchered word he was forced to say, "'cactuses'."

"Boy, you sure know a lot about the Wasteland, don't you?"

"Perhaps not, but I do know a good deal more than you about a lot of other things. Constellations, for example. I am 350 years older than you. At least."

Her eyes went wide, as if this fact shouldn't have already been more than obvious. "You're that old?"

"You knew I was alive 300 years ago, didn't you? That certainly accounts for the majority of my advanced age."

"Oh, well, I didn't really think that much about it, y'know. And…you don't look…quite that old."

"How old do I look?"

She tilted her head, putting serious thought into it. Finally, she arrived at her answer. "200. Give or take a few years," she said, sheepish grin on her face.

He frowned. "That old?"

Kassra sat up straighter, feet moving to return to the floor. "Well, that's not bad, is it? You look half your age. And I think a lot of it is because you're so thin."

He grunted.

"And your white hair. It's very…white."

"Yes," he said, staring at her, deadpan expression on his face, "white often is white. And your hair will be that way someday, as well."

"I know." She ran both hands over the top of her head. "And I look forward to it. I saw…I saw a white cat once, someone's pet, I assume. It walked by me one day, before all the fighting started, and I thought to myself, 'Kass, that might not look so bad'."

He raised an eyebrow, and she continued, "And I don't think I'd mind being old so much, because maybe I might end up getting shorter."

He wasn't even going to bother asking. And he really couldn't imagine it being possible for her to get any shorter. The hunch in his back had decreased his height a small amount, but he was already tall to begin with. She, on the other hand, couldn't afford the loss of even another inch.

It wasn't until he began to leave his musings of an older, even shorter Kassra, that he noticed she had gone quiet, her eyes staring off at nothing, her smile gone and her arms resting limp in her lap. Apparently, becoming shorter was not so appealing to her, after all, or she was just thinking of something else.

"Is something the matter?" the Sage asked, and she shook her head, though her expression remained unchanged, the movement more reflex than a real answer.

She remained silent a moment longer before she asked, "What happens…after all of this? Once they finish making you better, then what are they going to do with you?"

"I don't know." And that was one thing he tried not to think about.

Her eyes flitted to him again. "Will they let you go? Will you be—"

"I doubt it."

"But, why not? If…you'll be better, then… You don't plan on causing any more trouble, right? So they can…they can just let you go, and…"

"I really don't think it's that easy. I did terrible things." Oh, he had. He had killed so many. Why did he do that? Why did he want to do that? "It's not likely they'll allow such crimes to go unpunished." He deserved it. Didn't he?

"Yeah, but it won't change what happened. It won't solve anything—"

"That may be so, but—"

"You won't do it again, will you?"

He wasn't really sure why he had done it in the first place. "No, I—"

"You see, so there's no need to punish you over—"

"That's not—"

"They really don't. It's—"

"Kassra."

She grew silent, and once he was certain she was going to stay that way this time, he continued. "A criminal should be punished for their crimes, whether or not it fixes anything."

"But, you're not a criminal."

He wasn't, but… He did all those things, things he didn't quite understand now. What had happened to him? He wasn't a criminal. He was not a bad person. And yet, here he was, imprisoned for things he certainly remembered doing. He had done the things people had claimed he had done.

"I just wanted a better world," he said, his voice coming out in nearly a whisper, as it was not so much for her as it was for himself. Dark Eco was not as bad as everyone said, if one was careful and didn't abuse it, but that's how it was with all things. Did he abuse it? This was not what he had set out to do when he first became a Dark Eco Sage. He sought only to learn about Dark Eco, to figure out how to use it for good, how to heal those hurt by it, and how to prevent any insanity exposure to it may cause. These were not evil goals, but then… Was she right when she said he had changed? He had killed so many people, but long ago, he wouldn't have. Had he wanted the world to see Dark Eco as he did so badly that he was willing to go so far to achieve his goals? Apparently, he had. Because he did.

"I just wanted…" He sighed. "I don't even know how it went so far." Perhaps he should be punished. But, he hadn't meant it. He was not a murderer. Even if he did all those things….

"I know," she said, her voice so much softer than he was used to hearing, her face so much more solemn, and she moved to his bedside to sit beside him. "I don't think you're evil. And I don't think you should be locked up forever just because…just because Dark Eco made you…do what you did."

He watched her, and even now he couldn't comprehend how circumstances had brought them together, how he had managed to somehow find this one person that could say such things when she had every right to hate him just like everyone else must have by now. People always disliked his sister and him, but now they had a reason for it. It was much harder to fight back against people's negative views of him when he could see their point.

"Dark Eco is not at fault. It is an inanimate object. I can't pass the blame onto that."

She opened her mouth, and he continued over her, "And I can never understand why you waste so much of your time here with me. You should have your own life. You're too young to spend your days with an old man."

"I do it because I want to." Her eyes tried to peer into his, and he blinked, looking away. "You want to see me, don't you?"

"I can't complain," he said, eyes studying the unoccupied bed to his left.

She laughed. "That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me."

He looked back at her, her smile returned.

"Spending time with someone else is never a waste," she said, emphasizing her words with a few pokes to his chest. "And…something good is going to happen. I know it is, Mr. Skinny-Bones."

"I don't—"

"Shoosh." She held up a finger, midway to putting it to his mouth, before she had enough sense to stop in this effort when he flinched away, glaring sideways at her. She withdrew her hand, still grinning. "I'm going to figure something out. I promise. And do you remember what I always say?"

"You say a lot of gibberish, so I'm not sure which particular string of nonsense you're referring to," he said, still in as much of a defensive position as he could manage while being tied down as he was.

"When I set out to do something, I always do it."

"I'm glad that mystery's solved. I wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise."

"You're mean." She stood, somehow managing a mock frown that still contained too much cheer. "I'll see you again tomorrow."

"I'm sure I will."

"And you look forward to it. I know you do."

"Good to know."

Kassra flashed a toothy smile, before she turned and left the room with a spring to her step quite unusual for such a late hour. Once she was gone, Gol returned to facing the wall in front of him, though he hardly saw it or the patterns the moonlight made upon it, as his thoughts were of greater concern to him. He didn't want the life that surely awaited him, though that went without saying. But, did he deserve it? Oh, the Precursors, he never thought he was an evil person, but did he deserve what he got? And at the same time, when he thought back to the few good things left in his life, now that his freedom and his power and, most importantly of all, his dear sister were gone, that was one thing he was quite certain he didn't deserve.

Their conversations are always so fun to write. Admit it, Gol, she's not too dreadful. Please review.