Phil? Loving me? Dan wasn't attractive; if anything, he looked like an emo hobbit. He wasn't insanely intelligent; he had nearly flunked out of high school, and hadn't even gone to college. No, there was nothing special about Dan Howell, which made it even more surprising that Phil was attracted to him. Dan didn't know how to handle it. On one hand, his relationship with Tess was at an all time high. On the other, Dan was getting closer to Phil, and he couldn't deny that the coffee date they had was the best date he'd ever been on. The only way to fix this, he reasoned, was to talk to Phil.

Dan tried calling and texting him several times, but the only response he'd get was 'This number is unavailable.' After three days of worrying, Dan decided to walk down to Phil's house. It was a nice day, after all, and he could use some exercise. The most exercise he had gotten in the last year was from extensive rounds of Mario Kart. As he strolled down the sidewalk towards Phil's house, which was only a few blocks over from his own, Dan continued to think about Phil. He was kinder than Tess, and calmer, too. And Phil's hair… His dark fringe that reminded him so much of his own was Dan's favorite part of Phil.

After a few moments of walking, Dan arrived at Phil's house. It was a small wooden house, covered in a well-worn blue paint. Cracks ran along the sides, but the lawn seemed decently taken care of. Dan stepped up to the front porch, wincing as the top step creaked.

"Phil? Are you in there?" He called, knocking on the wooden door. He waited five seconds before trying again, and then a third time. Each time, he was greeted with silence.

Dan peered in through the window. It was dark and quiet inside the room. The small TV and sofa suggested that it was Phil's living room. Sighing, Dan moved away from the window dejectedly. He called out one last time before leaving.

He walked down the street, glancing from face to face looking for Phil. Phil, who liked him. He couldn't understand what made Phil fall for him; he was just a gangly man, barely even an adult, with unruly hair and an eternal existential crisis.

As he passed what seemed like the millionth person, he saw the tiny coffeeshop where they had met across the street. He stared at it for a moment, before sprinting towards it, apologising to the sound of horns and angry yells. He opened the door, panting, allowing a young woman inside before he stepped inside, allowing the sweet smell of coffee and sweets to envelop him. He joined the line, which was only a few people. As he approached the counter, the waitress who had flirted with him before glanced at him, and with a scoff, she disappeared into the back. Dan rolled his eyes, which caught the attention of the cashier.

"Rylee tried hitting on you, too?" He asked. "She's a real piece of work."

Dan laughed. "You can say that again." After ordering, he turned back towards the cashier. "Tell Rylee that she'd get more guys if she wasn't so eager on spreading her legs." With a chuckle, he went back to the door and walked outside. As he passed the window of Javawocky, he glanced inside one more time. Rylee was bent over a table, laughing flirtatiously to another guy. Dan was about to leave when he recognized the man she was flirting with.

It was Phil.

• | • | •

Phil sat at the table, sipping his coffee, which was nearly cold. He stared out into the cafe, letting the aroma of the coffee and the quiet conversations drown his emotions into numbness. He closed his eyes, picturing his date with Dan. Oh, how he yearned for his touch, even if it was as simple as a handshake or a brush of their arms. He knew that he had fallen hard for the curly haired boy, and that he had only broken his heart again.

The waitress from before came up to him. "Sir," she murmured. "You need to order another drink or leave." She said. Phil lifted his head and stared at her pitifully. "What, did your boyfriend dump you?" She sneered. "He's not interested in queers like you. He'd much rather be with a woman, like me." With every word, Phil's heart sunk lower and lower, until it felt like it didn't exist anymore.

"Phil!" A familiar voice called. Phil's soft blue eyes landed upon a pair of chocolate brown ones. Dan's.

The waitress turned as well. "Well, isn't this great? We were just talking about you!" she laughed, a false, high-pitched giggle. Dan ignored her.

"Phil, we need to talk," he started, as Phil stood, pushing past him. Dan turned to follow as Phil began to run out of the store and down the street. Phil looked around in panic; where could he hide? His heart was beating frantically as he darted down an alleyway. He sidestepped empty cardboard boxes as he raced down the narrow gap between the buildings. He heard Dan call his name once, twice, three times, before the blood rushing through his ears blocked out even his voice. Phil's wheezed as he sat down, fighting to catch his breath. His hands shook as he cradled his head, tears free-falling onto the dusty cement, splattering like tiny bombs. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't think. Everything was closing in on him, crushing him, drowning him in waves of sadness and fear.

"Phil?" Dan murmured quietly, setting his hand on his shoulder. Phil wanted so badly to hug him, to cry into his shoulder. Instead, he pulled away, shoving Dan back. Dan landed on his wrist, biting back a cry as he bent it backwards. He pulled himself up and sat next to Phil, who was still trembling. "Phil, it's okay."

"It's not okay!" Phil screamed, lifting his head. His face was red with anger and fear. "It'll never be okay! I should have never fallen for you! Not after-" At this point, the words escaped him, and he fell back into his curled up position. Dan reached over and wrapped his arms around Phil. He tried pushing Dan away, but the taller man had locked his arms around him. Defeated, Phil leaned into Dan, his tears soaking into Dan shoulder.

"Hush, Phil. It'll all be okay," Dan said softly. Phil lifted his head.

"H-how do you know?" Phil whimpered slightly. Dan smirked.

"I know because I'll make it okay," he cupped his hands around Phil's face and pulled him closer. Phil's eyes widened in shock as their lips met. The cloud of panic that had blurred everything was gone; replaced with an even stronger feeling of lust. Phil grabbed Dan and pulled him even closer, the heat of their passion warming both of them until their faces were red. Dan was the first to pull the two apart. "I promise, Phil."