Jak returns to Spargus with some very important matters on his mind.

Chapter 59: Normal

Once Jak was able to tug Daxter out of bed, the ottsel complaining that his bed was so darn comfortable and there was no way he was going back to the desert, they returned early in the morning to where the Sand Shark had been waiting for them just outside of Haven's broken wall, the ottsel hunkered down on his shoulder the entire way, arms crossed in an unspoken vow of silence (which was the only way such a vow should be communicated), in an effort to ensure that Jak wouldn't forget about the unfair treatment he had just put his friend through. And then they were off, the air cool at first until the sun began to rise, and then it wasn't very long before the desert heat they had the pleasure of avoiding these last several weeks returned to them, feeling hotter than ever now that they were no longer used to it.

It took up a good chunk of their day, the trip back to Spargus, but when he only had the company of his friends to look forward to and only good news to report, the time went by so much quicker. And for once, he had no anxieties eating away at him, let alone a dark side chattering and ranting inside his head. No, it was just him, his mind occupied with lazy thoughts, and Daxter, who was as much entertainment as he needed. Once the ottsel forgot about his vow of silence, of course.

It was early afternoon by the time they arrived back in Spargus, and Jak jumped out of the Sand Shark as soon as he parked it within the city's gate, the palace his next destination. The streets were crowded, but possessing a calm as people, soldiers and civilians alike, both Wastelanders and those from Haven City, moved about doing their daily activities or simply strolled the desert city's streets. He found the bomb to still be in the same spot as when he had last seen it, people no longer giving it much heed as they passed it by, as if it was just another part of the landscape, as if it warranted their attention no more than the rocks and the palm trees. And while it was quite possible they had left it there for the simple reason that it was too large and heavy to move, Jak had the feeling that wasn't the case. It seemed far more likely that it had instead been left in this spot as a reminder. A reminder to all how precious peace was and how easy it is to lose it. A reminder that the slow, boring days of peacetime needed to be appreciated while they lasted. It was something Jak hoped he would never forget. He certainly had in the past, but not this time.

The first person he went looking for was Ashelin, but he failed to find her, not in her room or in the throne room, and at no point during his walk through the palace hallways did he catch any sign of her, either. He did manage to bump into Sig, however, when they found the man taking a break to enjoy the soothing combination of green palms and cool water in one of the courtyards. He had not seen Ashelin that day, either, and he didn't have any idea where she could be. But, before Jak could leave to continue his search, the Wastelander stopped him with the question of whether or not Haven Forest looked so much better to him now that he had spent some time away from it. And Jak had to admit that, even though he had been back in Haven City for several weeks now, seeing the expanse of green, that he had never given a second thought to before, beyond the city's walls as he flew high above in his light form never got old.

Once he had given up on trying to find the Governess, Jak decided he would chance a visit to the infirmary to see if Keira might be there, but as he walked down the hallway he was pretty certain led to the next place he had in mind, his progress came to a halt when he spotted one woman that was neither of the two he was looking for. Her own footsteps faltered when she caught sight of him, as well, and there was a moment where they each stared at the other, both of them likely struggling with doubts as to whether or not the person looking back at them wanted to see them right now. The answer to her quandary seemingly decided, she continued forward before stopping in front of him, a smile spreading across her face. Kass, the woman he had had a most unexplained quarrel with, even if he wasn't sure what the cause of it was. Someone, he had to admit, he had been less than kind to. And yet she was grinning at him, nevertheless, and then she opened her mouth, just one word coming out.

"Thanks."

He blinked at her as his mind caught up with what she had just said. "For…"

"You know exactly." She continued to smile at him, before nodding and walking by.

"Uh…have…have you seen Keira?"

"Hmm?"

He looked back. "I mean…she has…green hair…and…" He raised a hand to his own hair, as if to shed further light on that part of his description.

She shook her head. "No. Sorry." She rocked on her feet, and when he said no more, she turned and left, while he scratched his head and wondered if he should have made any mention of his past behavior, though it no longer mattered, as she was already gone.

"What'dja think she was talking about, Jak?" Daxter asked, looking over at his friend.

"I…don't know…." What relation did she have to Gol? He would never understand her.

Realizing that the palace was probably missing both of the people he was looking for, or if they were here, he wasn't having any luck finding them, Jak returned outside and began to head in the direction of his old home, on the lookout for the two he sought along the way. The day was beginning to turn to evening, people starting to return home, making his search a bit easier as the streets began to empty out. And then he caught sight of the green hair he often dreamt about, and he wondered how he had ever been able to stay away from it for so long. He rushed forward, calling her name, and she turned, comprehension at who had just been trying to get her attention dawning on her face as she dropped the bags she had been holding. Throwing her arms open wide, she just started to step forward, but she didn't have far to go before he was holding her in his own arms and spinning her about, Daxter jumping down to avoid getting caught up in this display any more than he already had.

"Jak, you're back! How is Haven City doing?" Keira said, beaming up at him with her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Great. We have most of it cleaned up, and…" Jak paused and set her back down on her own two feet, trying his best to suppress the excitement that had almost made him forget why he had needed to come here and see her in person in the first place. As he looked over to address his friend, he couldn't help but grimace when he caught Daxter and Tess…busy with more of the usual.

"Uh…Dax? Dax? …Dax!"

His friend looked back. "Wha-at! Whaddaya want already?"

"I'd rather talk to Keira alone, if—"

The ottsels seemed to be more than content with this plan, as they joined hands and ran off, Tess giggling and skipping alongside Daxter, who took her cue and began skipping, as well. That was easy. He returned his attention to Keira, the interruption doing nothing to dampen her earlier cheer.

"So, what brought you all the way back here?" she asked, clasping her hands behind her back and rocking from side to side.

"What do you mean? I wanted to see you."

"Yeah, but you didn't drive all this way just for that, did you?"

He scratched the back of his head. "Well, I did want to tell Ashelin about our progress, but…"

"You see," Keira said, though her smile only widened. "Not that I'm complaining, but I knew that I wasn't the only reason."

"Well, that's not what I meant, but… Keira, why don't…why don't we go back home? Then we can…" He paused to look about at all the people passing them by. Even if they weren't paying any mind to the two just standing there in the middle of the path, he knew he still wouldn't be able to say what he needed to until it was just the two of them. "Then we can talk…by ourselves."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, okay."

Keira then moved to pick up her bags, and though he rushed ahead to try and grab them before her, he was too slow, his efforts at chivalry resulting in a mild fight over who would carry what. In the end, she held one, while he got the other. And try as he may to relieve her of her remaining load during their walk back home, she always managed to evade his efforts. Once he had given up in trying to be a gentleman, their walk was filled with small talk of what Keira had been up to while he was away or simple silence as they enjoyed each other's company. They arrived back home a short while later, Keira assuring him that no one was currently there, all the while giving him sneaking glances, a smile on her face that reminded Jak of the fact that women always seemed to know what you were going to say before you said it, this unsettling knowledge serving to make him strangely aware of his own thoughts, lest this intuition stemmed from an even more frightening ability to read minds. That would explain it….

They went inside and dropped the bags in the kitchen before Jak coaxed Keira to forget about putting her things away for now and just sit on the couch with him. She obliged, and it was here that she asked him about his time in Haven City, about how the work had been going and how the city looked and if he had gotten a chance to stop by her place. He had indeed seen her old home, he said, but her plants were a bit more aggressive than they used to be, to say the least.

But, he didn't answer these questions with any more than a sentence or two each, providing much less detail than he was sure she would have liked. There were other things he needed to say, and if he put them off for much longer, then he very well may not say them at all.

"Keira," he said, once he came to the conclusion that his resolve would surely waver if he didn't just do this now, and he turned to face her more fully.

"Yes?"

"Now that Haven City's almost free of Dark Eco, I wanted to ask…" He found himself unable to prevent his gaze from switching back and forth between the couch and her face. "Come back with me. Tonight. Or…" He forced his eyes to focus on her, though this only seemed to cause him to speak faster as his heartbeat quickened, and his words began to jumble together. "Or in the morning. Whenever. And we can fix the rest of Haven together." That was at least close to what he wanted to say.

"Oh, Jak…" Her grin faltered. "I can't go back yet. I'm still not quite finished with Gol. But…"

"Then, when?" He sounded much too eager. Was it a turn-off when a guy sounded too eager?

An ever widening smile began to once again grace Keira's lips as she studied him with a disconcerting amount of attention. "Soon. Very soon. Maybe in a week or two. I mean, there's not a whole lot more I can do, really. Gol is old…and sick. If I do much more, it could kill him. But, I think a few more treatments could still do him some good." She paused. "Jak, was there something else you wanted to say?"

He went stiff and forced himself to blink. Had he been staring? "Huh? I…well…"

By now, her smile was larger than ever. "Okay, what is it? I could tell ever since you got here that you had something on your mind. So spit it out already."

Jak stared at her, eyes wide. He really was staring at her, wasn't he? He was definitely staring. He looked away, coughing. "Well, uh…"

"Yeah?"

Jak turned back to her again, licking lips that suddenly seemed dry, but it didn't help because his tongue was, as well. "Keira…"

She gave a nod.

"Keira…I wanted to ask…"

"Yes…?"

"When we…when you, you are coming back to Haven City eventually, aren't you?"

"Of course, I am. Why wouldn't—"

"Marry me. When…when you…get back. I'll…I'll have the place fixed up for you by then. Haven City, I mean, and…"

"Jak."

He stopped in his rambling, and she grabbed his hands, squeezing them, though he currently didn't possess the clarity of mind to do the same back. What had he just said? He couldn't hear it over his own heartbeat. It wasn't anything stupid, he hoped. It probably was. It was probably stupid.

"Jak, of course, I will! That is, if you're okay with waiting just a few more weeks. Because I'd really rather get married back home. Spargus is fine; I've grown used to it, but…I'd just rather not risk getting sweat stains on my wedding dress, if you know what I mean." She laughed, and when he made no response, she gave his hands a gentle shake. "Jak? Hello? We can get married in Spargus if you want…."

He shook his head, as much as in response to her words as to break his gaze with her. Why couldn't he stop staring? "No, uh…it's fine, and I'll…I'll have Haven all fixed up for you, at least, as best I can, and…"

"I don't care how Haven City looks, as long as we're there together," Keira said. "Okay?"

He nodded, any chance to avoid actual words welcome.

"Then, it's a deal."

Keira was kind enough to volunteer herself as the one responsible for breaking the news, she beaming all throughout the torturously long wait, while Jak found himself to be strangely numb and with a sneaking suspicion that he had been reduced to muteness again. The suspense grew, the knot in his stomach tightening, when the ottsels returned home first, but the wait continued until the Green Sage's arrival later that day, and not a moment too soon, as there was a very real chance Keira would burst if forced to hold in such a secret for much longer. Jak was overcome with a sudden urge to vomit as she revealed the news, and as expected, Samos and Tess were overjoyed, while Daxter couldn't stop laughing and slapping one leg as he stated that Jak had "finally given in". And even now, Keira's face continued to retain the biggest smile he had ever seen, while he swore that he could no longer feel his legs.

They had an impromptu celebration dinner after, a simple one, as no one had the patience necessary to spend extended periods of time cooking on such a momentous occasion as this, and Jak finally started to regain the ability to speak when, halfway through dinner, Tess asked Daxter when he planned on asking the big question. From that moment onward, it was Daxter who was at a loss for words (much to Samos's delight).

After dinner was complete and everyone had grown bored of taunting Daxter with the same question Tess had asked of him and pointing out that she had made a good point indeed, Jak excused himself to try his luck at locating the Governess once again, something he had all but forgotten about ever since he had found Keira carrying groceries and his thoughts had turned to probably less important, but far more stressful, matters.

At first, the palace seemed the likely place to go, but it wasn't long before Jak's search led him elsewhere, to a place he knew he wasn't going to be seeing again for a while, a place that he had passed by on countless occasions, but had never held meaning until just a month ago. His feet took him through Spargus' nearly empty streets, the sun already absent from the sky for a good several hours now, and he stopped when his destination came into view in the distance, but that was not the reason for his hesitation. There was also something over there he had not expected, a figure. He forced himself to continue forward, mouth becoming dry again, and though they were shrouded in the meager lighting of darkness, with only the moon to illuminate them, he still knew exactly who it was. Ashelin, the person he sought, even if he had already gotten distracted once again from his search for her. Yes, the Governess was already here, looking out over the ocean, the spot they would always remember as the place where they had held Torn's funeral. And, ironically, also the last place where Jak had ever seen the man alive.

Jak stopped a short distance behind her, though she took no notice of his presence, possibly because the crashing of the waves hid the sound of his footsteps or because she was just too deep in thought to notice anything else. And he couldn't help but think, as he watched her there, arms crossed and still except for the breeze stirring her hair and short jacket, that she looked beautiful, not in the way that Keira was, but just as another human being, that had suffered a great loss, greater than what he had, that he had caught in the middle of the simple act of remembering. He sighed. He knew a small part of what she felt, and he hoped that, if he ever had to feel her pain, as he likely would someday, it wouldn't be for a long time.

He opened his mouth, but more for the purpose of drawing in a breath than for speaking. Perhaps he should leave her alone. He really should, actually. He had come here for much the same reason as she had, but he could always come back tomorrow.

"Jak?"

He went stiff at the sound of her voice, as he tried to make sure she had really said anything, before he asked, "How'd you know it was me?"

"Just a guess."

The Governess continued to stare out over the waves, and his attention was drawn to the expanse of churning ocean before them, as well. The air felt cooler here with the spray of seawater, but it didn't seem as cold as what night time usually brought, either. It was simply pleasant and calm, peaceful despite the rough sound of the waves, but even they, too, didn't seem quite as angry as they normally did.

"So…" he began, his voice quiet, and he wondered if she could hear him, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up, "Haven City's almost Dark Eco-free." He started to come forward, tapping his fists against the sides of his legs. "And the soldiers are working on cleaning the place up. But, there's still one thing missing." He stopped beside her, and she looked over.

"And what's that?"

"It's still missing its Governess."

Jak thought he caught a smile before she turned away again.

"It's finally time to go back, then?" she said, and he thought he heard her chuckle, though it was soft beneath the sound of the waves. "I thought this day would never come, and here it is."

He crossed his arms and turned his attention back to the water. While this shore was nothing like the one back in Sandover, he may have finally been starting to grow more used to it. Even if the waves were more violent and threw themselves against the rocky shoreline rather than just whispering over gentle sand, he couldn't help but feel at peace right now, at one with the ocean and strangely…alive.

"And do you think it's safe for everyone else to return, as well?"

He glanced back over at her, but she continued to stare straight ahead. "Yeah, I think so. Within the next few days, all the Dark Eco will be gone, then, the only thing left will be to repair the damage." His eyes returned to the sea, taking note of how the moon cast a shimmering reflection way off in the water, far beyond their reach. "And I think it's about time the Wastelanders got Spargus back to themselves."

"That's true."

They resumed their silent vigil over the sea, and Jak returned to tapping the side of one leg with his fist. Well, he had already fulfilled his purpose for finding her, but there was a reason he had found her here, of all places. He turned to her again, this time not looking away. "It'll be…hard getting used to the normal routine again. We've probably all gotten used to Spargus, I mean…I know that I have, and…" He shifted his weight to a different foot. "And I'm sure it'll…probably be hard for…everyone else, as well." He watched her, and when he received no response, he opened his mouth again, and it was only now that Ashelin spoke.

"I know what you're trying to do, Jak."

He closed his mouth, though when she finally looked over at him, he couldn't help but return his attention to the ocean. "And you're right. It will be hard going back to our regular, everyday lives," he heard her voice say, "but, mainly because, now that things are almost normal again, it only reminds me even more that…they aren't."

He chanced a glance sideways again to find her gazing up at the pale moon that hung above.

"Somehow," she continued, voice quiet, "I thought once we got Haven City back, everything would return to normal again, but it isn't going to. I realize that now. I just…" She looked down, closing her eyes. "I just need to remember that…he's gone, and I can't wait around for things to change anymore. I just need to go on living and accept the fact that, sometimes, things will never be the same again. No matter how much we want them to be."

The Governess turned her face back to his, windblown strands of hair obscuring part of one eye, and he met a gaze that seemed to peer right into him and touch something deep within that he tried to hide, not only from others, but from himself, as well. It was something he had tried to ignore, to forget, but instead, it had just been left untreated, and it was only now that someone had managed to uncover it. The pain of all the things that were forever lost to him. The loss of a million things, of the people he cared about and the home where he had grown up and even the person he once was, but wasn't anymore. These things haunted him no matter how long he had been separated from them, but she was right. There were some things that you could never get back, and the only thing obsessing over them ever accomplished was to open the wound left by their absence even more Wanting something you couldn't have could be even worse than losing it to begin with because it could last long after the event. He just had to let these things go, and while such surrender wouldn't bring them back, neither would allowing his life to be consumed by them, either.

The two stayed on the rocky shore within the tall walls of Spargus for some time, just watching the sea and the moon casting its glow upon it. And all the while, he thought not about what was gone, but how he could cope without those things, because he could, no matter how much he longed for Sandover or missed Torn or wished he could again be the carefree teen he once was. Just because he no longer had some of the things he once cared about, it didn't mean he didn't have plenty of new things to look forward to that he didn't have before.

Jak left in the morning, along with the Governess and Daxter and Tess and Samos, only Keira left behind so that she could finish her work. And while she honed her Light Eco abilities back in Spargus, they all worked on bringing Haven City just a little bit closer to the glory it once had, with Ashelin to return order, Samos to restore the crops infected with Dark Eco, and the rest to work on the cleanup effort. It took only a few more days before the city was truly free of Dark Eco, just as he had predicted, and the citizens began to return, the place filling up with life once again. And it wasn't much longer before Keira had returned, as well, after having done the best she possibly could for the Dark Sage, whether or not it was wasted effort no longer mattering.

And while he stood across from Keira at the altar, outdoor in a corner of the agricultural section Samos had fixed up for this very occasion, Daxter trying very hard not to show that he was blubbering even more than the Green Sage was, while Tess simply beamed in her delicate pink bridesmaid dress (the color her choice, though, not the bride's), it became all the more apparent to Jak that, while he had suffered much loss in his life, he had also gained in countless ways, as well. And he had to admit that his life really was all he had ever hoped for. Yep, things were finally returning to normal again, all right. And this time, he would appreciate peace more than he ever had before. Because Torn was wrong. Peace was not boring. Not boring at all.

So Jak's tale has largely come to an end. I know, happy endings are a little cliché, but Jak deserved some happiness after all the things I put him through. Plus, this is definitely not the end of the story. Yep, that means that all that's left now is to follow Gol's story to its conclusion. And as always, please review.