Warning: Not fluffy. So not fluffy.
The grass was damp, courtesy of the near-constant cover of rain Boston was experiencing. The lone figure sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest could not have cared less about the weather. The brief break in the torrential assault came to an end as the downpour resumed with even more intensity than before. Her clothes were already soaked, not that she noticed, but the slight warmth that had begun to leech into the freezing garments was soon chased away by the fresh chill of the new rain.
She let out a sniffle and used the cuff of her sleeve to move the water around on her face, mixing the tears and rain further. Previously gorgeous hazel eyes, alight with the promise of life and love had grown dull within the span of seconds two days ago. Although she knew it wasn't literally possible for her entire world to shatter, that's the only way she could describe the feeling of losing the most important person in her life. It was the only way to describe the feeling of the knowledge that she'll never hear the token sarcasm, never again experience waking up next to the unruly, sexily mussed hair, or gaze into those wonderfully, adoringly expressive brown eyes she'd fallen in love with.
It was like suffocating on oxygen; something that shouldn't be possible and yet continues to occur. She swiped at her nose again out of reflex; the action wasn't actually accomplishing anything. One hand played idly with the grass, curling the leaves around her fingers, stroking the individual green fronds. Her body rocked slowly, wracked with distraught sobs.
They put her in the ground today. Everything she ever was, everything she could have been is gone. All the potential sapped away by cruel injustice. All the things that made her Jane will be decomposed by bugs and parasites and nothing will remain in time.
Maura hasn't been in to work since; neither has she eaten nor slept despite Angela's best attempts. It was too hard to dig herself out of the well of her misery; she'd rather just let it fill with the rain and drown in it.
Her heart constricted in her chest, each beat thundering with an unfixable despair.
When she first met Jane, she'd been used to people leaving her; her parents (both biological and adoptive), friends, lovers, even Ian. But when Jane came along it was like a new life had opened up before her eyes, like she had a chance for something better. Jane was always there for her, she never strayed, and she made her feel special and normal and loved and all of those things that she'd thought she wasn't worthy of feeling. She'd stepped away from icily professional Doctor Isles to become the warm and friendly Maura. Instead of being rejected for her quirks, she was embraced with welcoming arms. All of the family she had were inherited from her friendship and subsequent relationship with Jane.
And now she was gone and Maura didn't know how to go on. She'd had this taste of a life with Jane Rizzoli, but some psychopath with a gun and a little girl for a hostage took that away from her. It was the way she'd want to go, of course. In the line of duty. Going down so that an innocent life could be saved, but it didn't make it any easier. She was still gone.
Numb fingers reached out in front of her to carress the polished stone, to trace the letters of the name for the woman she'd grown to adore.
Maura wanted to be angry at Jane for leaving her. She wanted to break things and curse and drink her beer until she couldn't feel anything anymore, but that wasn't fair. Jane had lost so much more than Maura had. Jane had lost the promise of possibility entirely.
She spoke softly to the wind, the first words she'd uttered in a while, "I was going to marry you, Jane Rizzoli. I was going to make you curl up on the couch with me at night to watch games and documentaries. I was going to force you to eat better so that I could have you around for a little longer." The tears intensified for a few moments because of that particular thought. "But more than anything, I was going to love you and be there for you, no matter what. Just like you've always been there for me." Her hand grasped at her chest, searching for the necklace she'd been wearing since the funeral.
Neither Angela nor Maura had been in a state to collect Jane's personal effects, so Frankie had bitten the bullet for them. He'd found a ringbox with a three-tier engagement ring enclosed. He almost smiled when he saw it. Maura had received it this morning, before the limo pulled up in front of her house to pick them all up for the procession.
She'd never take it off.
"You're my one and done, Jane. My only one and done." Tear-soaked eyes lifted from the grave to the stormy sky. "I love you."