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An Alcohol Induced Lunacy

'The dust on the floor,
Piled up from the years,
All those scars and souvenirs,
Now that you're gone,
It's easy to see,
But so hard to believe,'
-Theory of a Deadman, By The Way

It seemed like an eternity since the last time she was down in his basement, with a mason jar of bourbon in her hand, perched on his work bench whilst he tended to his beloved boat. She'd arrived a couple of hours after he had home. Knocked on the door only to hear his gruff response as he told her to come in and he was down in the basement. Then he'd listened to the sound of her unmistakable heels clip clopping on the wooden flooring above. A sound that had been vacant from his house for was now feeling like a heck of a long time.

"Why are you here Jenny?" Was his question as she took another sip of the amber liquid that she had so grown a taste for. The liquor made its way down her throat, and she didn't respond immediately. Instead, relishing in the familiar burn in her oesophagus. It was the first thing to have been said between them, with the exception of her mumbled 'thank you' when he'd handed her the drink. It was also a question she had asked herself numerous times since she set foot in the hallway above. The reason, she told herself, was that she needed to talk to him; because she felt guilty that he'd not found out about her engagement from her lips earlier in the day. However, she knew there were other motives. Jenny wanted to repair their relationship, she wanted them to laugh and joke. Being with Mark had strangely enough made her realise how much she missed Jethro's friendship, because it was the only thing missing in a life which was as perfect as she could ever hope to have. Mark was with his friends and she ... maybe she was in his basement because he was the only friend that had always been there for her? Or maybe she was simply there for old times' sake, before the next chapter of her life got into full swing?

"Where's Stephanie?" Answering a question with a question: an interrogation technique that never got anywhere – that was a fact she was well aware of. But it was all she had been able to say. It was the only phrase she'd been able to think of that wasn't at least partially a lie.

"Her sisters; she's left me." His eyes didn't once leave the wood he was working on, but Jenny knew that they were swimming with emotions. Jethro never did talk about how he felt, just like his body language never gave anyone an inclination. Yet his eyes, they were a different case. His eyes were like oceans, a mystery to anyone who didn't know how to explore them. A haven or a hell.

"I'm sorry." It seemed such a pathetic response as she said it. Like she was simply consoling someone she had never even met- not someone who had save her life on numerous occasions.

"Don't be, we all knew it was coming." Jenny watched as Gibbs' movements stilled, no doubt as he tried to push yet another failed marriage to the back of his mind to join the rest. As he attempted not to think of the thrill that would soon be had by office scuttlebutt when it all became public knowledge.

Meanwhile Jenny felt her heart swell; she had always just wanted him to be happy. Even back when she was madly in love with him, and he didn't feel the same. If he was happy then she would try to move on; and she had. She had believed he was happy, so she started dating Mark. She had never even guessed that their relationship would become as serious as it now was. It was sickening to the red head that after however long of her wanting a married man, he would be the single one and she'd have the ring on her finger. Part of her was unable to help but wonder what would have happened if she waited just a while longer for him.

Then again Jenny had no knowledge that he would want her anyway. She had no idea whether his feelings would be what hers were – or more accurately; had been. Jenny's eyes were unable to help the way they strayed to the ring on her finger, with its small diamonds sparkling in the dull light of the basement. The ring that signified that she had, in fact, moved on. She had managed to get over the infamous Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The ring that contradicted the fact that she was sat in his basement, wondering about 'what if's and 'could have been's.

"I liked her, you know. She was … the complete opposite of you." He looked over at her, and raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to clarify what she meant. Jenny just smirked, hoping to lighten the mood a little between them. She missed the sound of that rare laughter that back when they were undercover had graced her ears so many times. "She was lovely, and kind, and caring."

"What are you trying to say I am?" His tone was light hearted, and matched hers. His movements were stilled and his old USMC t-shirt hung from his shoulders, and lightly brushed over the defined muscles on his abdomen. It was a sight that she had always and would always find attractive.

"You're more… gruff, and well, that second 'b' in your name rings true quite frequently." Gibbs smirked at her reply. It wasn't quite the laugh she had hoped to hear, but it was a start.

"You gonna tell me why you're here then?" Just like that things were serious again; it was amazing how they managed to do that. His hands placed the sanding block down before he walked over to the work bench and filled his own mason jar with more of the harsh liquor. His cobalt eyes watched her as she looked down at the ring, spinning it around her slender finger with her forefinger and thumb. The way she sat there, legs crossed at the ankles, Mason jar beside her, short hair framing her face. Lady like, just as she had been the first time he had met her, but with just the right amount of sawdust on her that she looked like she belonged.

Ever since the night they had had their fight and she told him that she had loved him, he'd been unable to stop thinking out it. Unable to comprehend how he had not noticed, not picked up on her feelings. And he wished he had, because part of his marrying Stephanie had been because she reminded him or Jenny and Shannon. She had the mannerisms of Shannon, but the same twinkle in her eye as Jenny.

"I erm… I wanted to apologise that you didn't find out about the engagement from me. I wanted to tell you I just…" She just what? She wondered, chickened out? It was the same question Gibbs asked himself as he downed the whole mason of bourbon swiftly followed by another. The drink was like water to him these days – he barely felt the burn. But it also was like candyfloss, it the way that the sickly sweet sugar concoction always reminds you of the beach or the fun fair. Bourbon would always remind him of Jenny, of the first time she tried it, and how drunk she had been. It was bittersweet in that sense.

"You just what?" He asked, his voice harsher than he had initially intended it to be, but rough at the same time because of the amount of alcohol in his system.

"I was scared, okay? I was scared that you would disapprove or something!" She replied back with equal harshness, both knowing what should be a conversation would soon develop into a full thrown argument.

"Why the hell would I disapprove, it's not like I'm jealous!"

"No, you made it plenty clear you weren't interested in me when you flaunted you're latest wife around the place." She replied back.

"Well you don't have to worry about her anymore do you?!" He threw back, and she just shook her head, almost ashamed at how easily he could just throw something like divorce into an argument and act so blasé about the whole thing.

"Really, you're at the making jokes stage of a breakup already?"

"Yeah well it's not like I married her for who she was anyway was it? Don't act like you didn't know that." His voice rose up an octave or two as he spoke, or more like shouted.

"For god's sake Gibbs!" She swore under her breath as she ran a hand through her hair. "Why the hell did you marry her then?!" her tone wasn't loud, it wasn't argumentative, it was just … disapproving? He looked down at the bottle of bourbon, and held it by the neck before taking a gulp, Jenny just looked away, not wanting to see the man she admired so much drinking like it was going out of fashion. "I think you've had enough!"

"No." He said, quietly. "No Jenny, I've had no were near enough of the drink. In fact I've barely even started on that. But I've had enough of the lies, and the dancing around each other- dammit-"

"Gibbs will you stop drinking!"

"I married her because she reminded me of you!" He shouted back at her, and she stopped, taken aback by what he had said. "I married her because she reminded me of you."

"You're drunk." She stated heading to take the drink off of him. "You know what though, even if it is true, you're pathetic. You could have had me if you wanted me – at the drop of a hat-"

"And what about now?"

"I'm engaged!" Jenny shouted back in astonishment at his audacity.

"So what?! Call it off, call it all off and leave the piece of-"

"I'm happy Jethro! I'm so damn happy for the first time in my life, I'm happy! And now you want to ruin it all-"

"I love you Jenny!" Jenny was silent, she closed her eyes and held back the tears. She wanted to cry because a year ago those four words would have made her so happy, but now-

Jenny simply walked towards the stairs, and began to walk up them. Her heel touching the worn wood was the only sound in the basement. Gibbs was staring at her, and finally she let the tears roll down her face. Part of her wondered if he would remember what he had said in the morning. Wondered if he meant what he had said. Turning to look at him, she saw the hard marine who had mentored her for years, who had been her rock in Europe look vulnerable and open to injury. As she looked at him, she said the only thing that she could think to say.

"You're drunk Jethro, go sleep it off." She didn't shout, she didn't screech, instead she said it softly. But the way she said was worse than shouting. It sounded disapproving again, it sounded fed up, as though she could easily walk out on him.

With that she walked out of his house, trying to block out the sound of him finishing of the bottle and throwing it across the room. Trying to ignore the sound of a breakdown as she left him to it. Silent tears rolled down her face as she walked to the car. But only once the door was closed and the key was in the ignition did she let the first of what would be many sobs escape her body. Heaving sobs of distress.

"Doctor Mallard." Came the Scotsman's soft reply as he answered the phone. There was silence for a moment, and simply the sound of ragged breathing on the other end of the phone. "Who is it please?" He questioned, ever polite.

"It's Jenny." She finally answered, in a hoarse voice, tired from the crying as tears still rolled down her face.

"My dear, is everything alright?" His voice was laced with concern, and it caused a warm feeling to spread through her at the sound of the comforting voice.

"I'm fine Ducky, but erm…" She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Ducky, Stephanie has left Gibbs and erm … I think you need to get over there. I think it might just be a bit much this time."

"Can you stay with him?"

"No Ducky, not this time, he'll be passed out on the floor by the time you get here. Just, please make sure he wakes up?" Her voice was hurt, and the Doctor was not blind to the fact that something had happened. Not wanting to hurt her by prying, he simply told her that he would be there soon and not to worry. Jenny thanked him and hung up the phone.

With that, she wiped her eyes, turned the key, and headed home. Hoping that Mark would be with her sooner than later.