Disclaimer NCIS is not mine

Authors note Before you read this, I want to make you all understand that this is exactly how I always planned this story, ever since the very first chapter.

Enjoy

Rooftops

'After all the mistakes have been and gone
You're still standing here, standing strong
And I forgive all the wrongs that you have ever done
Cos you're still the only one'
-Amy Macdonald, my only one

She walked into headquarters the next day with a smile on her face. She'd booked her doctor's appointment the night before. And that small and simple action had alone made the whole thing seam so real. It made it all feel less like a dream and more like reality. She was going to be a mum, a child was going to rely on her, and that was a thought that scared her but also warmed her heart.

She had sat there, that night, thinking about her own mother. Wondering if she was watching down on her, wishing that she was there beside her. Jenny very rarely spoke of her mother, nor did she allow her past to creep into her present very often. But this was a rare occasion, because she thought of her father too. She thought of him, and what he would say. She was about to marry a Navy officer, that he wouldn't approve of, but she was happy. Jenny saw in her mind the sight of her father, aged, and sat in a chair, reading a story book.. He was always the gruff kind of man, but she imagined him to be a grandfather who did all the different voices. Who would get her child hyper then hand them back.

Jenny had instantly realised how much she wished her parents were alive. Simply so their child could have two sets of grandparents.

But that moment, all her thoughts were happy. It was a Monday, so the bull pen was buzzing with activity. Walking in, it felt like home – just as it always had. Dressed in a pale pink floaty top, edged with white lace, teamed with leggings and a summer scarf along with her signature heels, she felt like she could take on the world.

Her stomach was still flat, but she had chosen loose clothes because until it was public knowledge she didn't want anyone knowing. She'd wait a while to tell people - that was something that she had decided on. Mark may well have told his crew, but that was different. The only person Jenny truly wanted to tell was Jethro. But considering their current circumstance, she knew that was not an option. So, at least for a while she would keep it secret, their little secret.

She walked into the MCRT area of the bull pen, cornered off by the orange wall. Stan and Will were sat at their desks, but not working. She guessed that they had no case, although they very well could do, after all the pair didn't necessarily do work when they actually had a case anyway. The red head saw that Gibbs' desk was empty, and part of her felt relieved. After all if he wasn't there then there wasn't the tension, tension that she didn't want to feel. Not when her day was going so well. But there was still that part of her that wondered. She guessed it would always, she was his partner, and he was hers.

"Where is the boss?" She questioned as she moved around her desk, placed her bag down and turned on her computer. She then leant forward and looked at the pair in front of her. Stan didn't say anything, he just shrugged his shoulder, but that didn't surprise her.

"In the Directors office, night shift told me, apparently he's been up there for hours. They both have. No one knows why though." Will stated, as he turned to look at the pair. Stan had his feet up on his desk, and that alone proved that none of them were expecting him to come down for a while. If they were then Stan would not have his phone on his lap as he played Tetris – something which would result in a head slap his great grand children would feel if the boss saw.

"Fair enough." Jenny replied to Will had given her. She then flicked through her emails, scanning them all, but she soon decided that there was nothing of interest among them. "I take it we don't have a case then?"

"Nope."Stan replied, popping the 'p'. "Just cold cases, take your pick, there is nothing new though." The cold cases in the pile were the same ones that were always there. Cases which seemed to be never ending dead ends. They all cared about the victims; it wasn't that, it was simply that every avenue seemed to have been explored. But Jenny's good mood meant that she picked up the one on the top and set about reading through the file that was ever so familiar.

"Who wants coffee?" Will questioned, standing up once he had his wallet. Stan chucked him a fiver and gave the other agent a detailed description of the caramel, milky, coffee, fancy, creamy, chocolate sprinkle covered concoction that he wanted. Jenny just smirked; she wondered how Stan had ever ended up on the team – especially when his taste in coffee was so atrocious. "Shep?"

"I'm fine thanks." Jenny replied, deciding she would rather not have some disgusting decaffeinated coffee that tasted like dishwater.

"You sure you're gonna survive without that IV of caffeine in your arm?" Will questioned.

"I think I'll survive, just wave some under my nose if I look like I'm about to sleep." The red head responded, smirking as the other agent walked out of the room. But Jenny didn't have time to ever actually get on with the case that was laid out in front of her.

None of them would get to deal with any of those cold cases.

Both Jenny and Stan looked up when they heard footsteps coming out of the Directors office. When they saw Gibbs stood there, both knew something was wrong. To anyone else he would look no different. But they saw it. The grey circles under his eyes, the lines on his forehead, his clothes looking like he'd worn them yesterday. Then there were those eyes, and both Jenny and Stan stood up. However, the agent's eyes were on his partner as he nodded towards Marrow's office. Jenny didn't respond, she just stood up and made her way up the stairs.

Stan, meanwhile, stayed sat behind his desk, furrowing his brow at the antics of the two partners.

By the time Jenny had made it up the stairs, her boss was back in the Directors office. So, she walked in, the clip clopping of her heels dulled out by the carpet covered floors. When she reached the metal door she softly knocked, before hearing confirmation and entering the office. Gibbs and the Director were sat on the sofa. Marrow looked about as bad as Jethro did.

The concern at seeing her boss instantly doubled as she took in the two men. "What's going on?" She questioned, her voice as light hearted as she could manage. The director nodded to the seat which was next to Jethro, and she silently took it before tilting her head as she looked at the pair. "Am I going to have to guess?"

"Jenny-" But Gibbs cut himself off, returning his eyes to look out of the window. It was sunny out, and spring had pretty much completely turned into summer. The trees were in full colour, and the grass was thick and green. He'd seen children playing in the park on his way to work. It was a time of year that always reminded him of Kelly. She'd been such an outdoors person, bikes, and running and sport. When summer had come it had been almost impossible to get her inside at bedtime. Half the time Gibbs had given in when he was home, and carried her in when she had fallen asleep on the grass looking at the stars.

Jenny looked as Marrow ran a hand through his hair. Either he or Gibbs was going to have to do this. From the look on the agents face, it was going to be him. "Jenny, I erm…" He sighed, deciding he had to spit it out. "I had a call from a friend in the Navy, there was an incident, when a group of men took a small boat out to get supplies one of the boxes contained an explosive-"

"Was everyone okay?" she asked. She knew in her mind she should worry for Mark, but she also knew that NCIS got information so late, and she'd only spoken to him the night before.

"The man who discovered it, he was killed, he saved everyone else." Tom looked in her eyes. "Jenny, Mark-"

"No." She said, but the red head felt realisation setting in. She'd been brought up here alone, out of the sight of others. Gibbs hadn't said a word. Both looked like they'd just seen a ghost. "I only spoke to him yesterday, you arranged it!"

"Jenny, it's been confirmed, we were told before anyone else-"

"But-"

"Jen, he's gone." They were the only three words of matter that Gibbs had said to her. The only words he had spoken since she entered the room. Yet they managed to be the words that echoed around her mind as she stood up, and silently walked out of the office. Jethro stood up to go after her, but Tom shook his head. She needed time to get her head around it.

The red head walked across the catwalk, not once looking down on the bullpen, where Will and Stan sat, coffee in hand and looking even more confused. She didn't take the chance of the lift, so she ignored the agent who was holding it for her when she walked past and took the stairs. Jenny walked up, and up, and up until she reached the roof. And only, when the harsh wind that resided high above the pedestrians had hit her face did she let a tear roll down her face. Only then, once the door was closed behind her she slide down the brick wall and let heart wrecking sobs erupt from her small frame.

Mark.

The baby.

His parents.

The wedding.

Their family.

Their life.

As she buried her head in her hands, everything swam around her head. With each one that did, yet another sob erupted. The shrill of her phone ringing was alien; the sound pushed her over the edge. She looked at the offending object and chucked it across the roof, not once caring where it landed as she shouted 'No' simultaneously.

She'd never experienced pain like it. Her father's death had hurt her, but she'd been young and even younger for her mothers. Mark was all she had. She'd lost Jethro, was losing Will. He was everything she had – she'd had. Then she thought of the child growing inside of her, and it broke the shards of her heart that remained even more. Now she would have to raise their child alone.

Part of her hated him in that moment. Hated that Mark had had to be the hero, that Mark had been the one who lost his life when it could so easily have been someone else. Yet at the same time, it was part of the reason why she loved him. His selflessness, his loyalty to his country. But she'd always ask why it could not have been one of the other officers. Why heaven needed him and not someone else.

More tears ran down her face until she had no energy left and no tears left to shed. Then she just stayed there, sat on the roof, watching the birds flying from rooftop to rooftop. Listening to the sound of the cars driving down below, to the horns beeping and the engines running. Jenny saw the tiny dots of people in the distance going about their everyday life. Like nothing had changed. Like a good Naval Officer hadn't died.

Jenny didn't know how long she sat up there, she lost track of time. All she knew

was that the sun had moved by the time the door opened again, and her stomach was growling. The red head didn't look up to see who it was when she heard the footsteps. She already knew that it was Jethro. Even after everything that had been said he would be there for her.

The former Marine walked over, and sat down on the cold concrete, ignoring the ache of his old battle wounds as he did so. Her face was pale, but her eyes were red from all the crying. The marine felt his heart break for her, promising Mark, once more, that he would look after her. No matter what. Gibbs placed his arm around her and she fell into his side. She couldn't cry anymore, so she just sat there silently. Engulfed in the familiar smell of coffee, sawdust and his aftershave, making her feel safe. Just as the same scent had made her feel safe in Europe, in Paris.

"I'm so sorry Jenny." She didn't reply, and he didn't expect her to. "I know how hard it is."

"No, you don't." Her voice was rough and strangled from the crying even if she was only whispering. The red head closed her eyes. "You don't know what it feels like to know you're gonna have to raise a child alone. To know they're gonna ask where their daddy is and you're gonna have to say that god took them away."

"You're not alone Jenny. You've got all of us, and we're not him, we're not Mark, but we're family." Gibbs sad it with sincerity and the red head knew he meant it. No matter what his feelings, they didn't matter in that moment, the only things that did matter was her, and getting her to cope with the worst thing in her life. Gibbs chose not to comment on her pregnancy, he was guessing from her size it was only a recent discovery.

The pair sat up there for god only knows how long. Gibbs spoke about Shannon and Kelly, telling her how he had felt after their death, and she spoke about Mark, about their baby, about everything they had wanted for the wedding. "I almost wish someone had shot him or something, so I could get him justice. But-"

"It doesn't help. It just makes you as bad as the person who did it." As he spoke, she knew that he was speaking from experience, but she didn't push the matter. It was personal, just as her situation was as well.

"Oh god! I have to ring his parents! They don't know-"

"His CO rang them, as soon as he was off the phone with Tom. They're gonna fly over for the funeral, guess they'll want to meet you too now they're gonna be grandparents."

"I can't get over the fact he's gone, that he's just never coming back." Jenny said, tears escaping her eyes as she carried on looking at the skyline of the city. Remembering every street they had walked down, every kiss they had shared. Remembering the night they had met in that bar, her dressed in those sinful red heels and ripped jeans. She remembered that weekend, and then the day she had met him again on her first day back in the Navy Yard. She remembered New Years Eve, the evenings and weekends spent curled up together…

"He's not completely gone Jenny. He's watching down on you, he's in your heart and most importantly he's in your child. A piece of his is still alive."

"I'm so scared, I don't know the first thing about being a mum."

"You'll be amazing Jenny, you'll figure it out as you go. And I've got your six, I've got both of your sixes." She looked up at him, and she smiled. Her heart was broken, her world was shattered, and her future was the most alien thing she could imagine.

But she wasn't alone, and that was something that she was slowly going to have to learn.