Chapter 11 The Badlands I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in Your word.
October 21th
Daniel stepped cautiously to the edge of the cliff to gaze out over the scene below him. The barren landscape stretched out before him like a dark canvas, broken only by a network of nearly dry gullies that lay outlined in the faint moonlight. Off toward the east, ridges rose in undulating patterns and stretched for as far as he could see. He threw back his head to gaze at the heavens, narrowing his eyes to study the patterns of stars until he located the one he sought. The constellations that were still recognizable had grown fewer, a fact that deeply disturbed him; he wasn't alone in that reaction. The meteorite showers and solar flares that had once been infrequent were now regular occurrences, at first frightening the planet's inhabitants, then wearing off as greater troubles captured the world's attention. Now, as the silence engulfing him felt as though the world was holding its breath, waiting, he calmed himself with the determination to trust the One who had guided his paths all these years.
He considered this group with which he traveled, a more tolerant and patient assortment of strangers than what he'd been accustomed to. They were a competitive lot, but not particularly violent, and for that he was grateful. It was a miracle that they had been in the area and that their scouts had found him. If they had not, he doubted he'd still be alive. He sighed tiredly, aware of the fact that it was almost time to make the break from them. It wouldn't be easy, but it was the only way. And somehow, he had to convince Mara to come with him.
As dawn began to light the horizon, he heard them stirring, awakening to go about their routines for the day. Turning to look back, he couldn't help but wonder what she was doing right now, for he didn't see her among the others. Since his memory had returned, it had been difficult to keep his distance and continue to act as though he didn't remember her. She'd changed so much, but then again, so had he. There was little chance to get her alone without raising suspicions. It had taken all his willpower not to rush things, given his reaction to the sound of her voice, the touch of her gaze upon him, or the glint of the sun in her hair. He longed for the closeness they had once shared, yet realized how much his behavior must have hurt her, however unintended. He had no idea how she would react to him now; even still, he longed to speak with her in private, find out what she had experienced since their separation, and explain what had happened to him.
"Let's go!" Daly called across the distance, waving him over. He nodded and started back toward the camp, noting that some of the others were mounting and starting off. They'd decided to move on for at least a day's journey before finding another spot—it was safer to keep moving, and they had considerable ground to cover. As he came over, Daly nodded to him and informed him that they were to ride as rearguard. He nodded, relieved that Daly had stopped referring to him as the zombie. His encounter with the condor had earned their respect, though he knew that it was not anything he'd done personally. What they'd thought was a condor had been a demon spirit, plain and simple. But to the others, it had been a bird of prey that he'd defeated, not a supernatural manifestation of an evil presence that reigned over the place.
Daly glanced down at Daniel's arm and shook his head, obviously still puzzled by his remarkable recovery, as well as the disappearance of his neck wound. Half of the group suspected him of practicing some form or another of witchcraft, though he'd done nothing to give them any reason to. They were superstitious, but for some reason they seemed to accept him. After Mack insisted that he share the details of his captivity with the Knights, a gang that struck fear in nearly everyone who'd heard of them, he'd gained even more of their respect. He'd spared some of the more gruesome details and admitted to gaps in his memory, and they understood that some memories were best forgotten.
He mounted his horse and rode behind Daly in single file along the narrow path that wound along the ridge, keeping watch over the others. After an hour they descended to the lowlands, when he finally spotted Mara riding alongside Neelah. He was impressed by her scouting and shooting abilities, satisfied that she could protect herself better, and hoped that someday he'd be assigned to scout with her. Mack kept a tight reign on their assignments and critically evaluated their interactions, always scrutinizing their every move. As the newest member of the group, he had to be very careful not to upset the current order.
Mara felt the weight of his gaze and glanced back over her shoulder. Sure enough, he was riding with Daly far enough behind to warn of trouble, but close enough to keep an eye on them. Their eyes met briefly before he looked away, offering her not so much as a slight nod of acknowledgment. She turned around, annoyed by his failure to remember her and all they'd been through. Then she remembered how he'd looked standing guard in the pre-dawn hours, ever on the alert—it was the only thing about him that was familiar. Unable to sleep, she'd stared longingly at him, her heart going out to him despite her conflicted feelings. The last time he'd spoken to her in the tent, he'd only just begun to emerge from his catatonic state. Now he seemed almost normal, and no longer suffered from the bemused smiles and snickers of the others. Still, it angered her that he hadn't said a word to her since. Did he remember nothing about their past, or was he trying to keep their relationship a secret? She couldn't help but wonder if there was even any relationship left.
"What's got you so riled today?" Neelah asked, keeping her voice low. Startled out of her reverie, Mara met her gaze and shook her head. "Nothing," she lied.
Neelah stared at her with a smug expression. "It's him—you can't hid it from me."
"I'm fine," she huffed, squinting off into the distance. "Is that water I see up ahead?"
"He's just waiting for the right time, child."
i
Mara sighed, giving up her pretense. "Right time for what?" she grumbled.
"To make his move, of course," Neelah chuckled while Mara gauged their distance from the others as adequate enough to protect their conversation. "There's an intent look in his eyes when he steals a glance in your direction, though he thinks no one's noticed," she insisted.
"I hadn't noticed," she huffed, eyeing Mack's and Kiera's expressions as they rode at the head of the line. Kiera's hand shot out and she slapped Mack's arm, earning his hoot of laughter.
"He's recovered some of his memory," Neelah prophesied, "especially about you."
"Well if he has, he's decided to have nothing to do with the likes of me."
"That's where you're mistaken…"
She stared at her friend a moment, laughing at the teasing glint in her eyes. "Matchmaker," she whispered, shaking her head.
They rode through the heat of the day until twilight, camping in the woods where a brook splashed down from the heights. Everyone was tired, hot, and hungry, and by the time they dug hungrily into their dinner the conversations were just as heated. Riley and Daly nearly came to a fistfight over who would keep watch, until Mack intervened and appointed Daniel. He nodded without expression in response, slowly chewing a piece of bread. Kiera kept trying to bait her, criticizing her slight stature and build and offering tips on how to make herself more presentable. She was a notorious flirt, and Mara usually managed to hold her tongue. But she was aggravated by her constant jabber and obsession with appearances.
"Look I didn't ask for your advice," she shot back, "and frankly I'm not interested in your beauty tips—"
"Well, that's obvious to everyone!" Kiera laughed. "You're the only woman besides Neelah who hasn't got a man even though that's one of the rules."
"That's none of your business," she warned, spooning a piece of potato into her mouth.
"Well I'm making it my business," she pouted, "after all, I am Mack's girl—"
"Enough!" Mack bellowed, setting aside his empty plate and getting to his feet. "Kiera, leave her alone. She's a better scout than you'll ever be, and she's pretty enough without makeup. Mara, I want a word with you—Daniel, you too!" he ordered, storming off toward the creek.
Mara frowned at Kiera's snicker and glanced at Daniel, suddenly alarmed. What on earth was Mack doing? She watched Daniel get up and follow him, then set aside her plate with a sigh and did the same. In a way she was glad to have an excuse to get away from them all, but she had no idea what Mack was up to.
Daniel worried about Mack's outburst and felt a flash of jealousy at his comment about Mara. He had no idea what this meeting was about, but followed Mack's route toward the brook, hearing the sound of the water as he drew closer. When he came to the edge of the clearing he slowed his steps, approaching their leader and holding his accusatory gaze. After a minute Mara stepped into the clearing and halted, eyeing them suspiciously. Daniel lowered his head and focused on the weeds surrounding them, unsure of what was coming.
"What's wrong with you, girl? Get over here so we can talk," Mack ordered, planting his hands on his hips when she complied. Daniel looked up, shifting his gaze from her back to Mack.
"Look, I don't know what's going on between you two," Mack said in a low voice, "but if you think no one's noticed then you're both crazy."
"What?" Mara croaked, snapping her attention to his face. "What are you talking about?" she protested, while Daniel hooked one hand into his belt loop and avoided looking at her.
"The way I see it, the two of you need to sort some things out," Mack stated. "I want you to start acting respectfully toward one another, so whatever it is you've got against each other needs to stop before you divide the whole group and we've got a mess on our hands."
"I have nothing against her," Daniel said quietly, glancing in her direction.
"This part of the journey is gonna be tough," Mack continued, "and I can't afford to have you two at odds anymore."
"I'm not avoiding him and I certainly don't have anything against him!" Mara insisted, glancing at Daniel, "do I," she prompted.
He tore his gaze from her snapping green eyes to meet Mack's glare. "I'm sorry if I've done anything to disrupt the group—it was not my intention."
"It's not so much the group as it is whatever crazy kind of chemistry you two have goin' on," Mack answered, eyeing them suspiciously. "Don't think no one's noticed."
Daniel lifted a hand to massage the back of his neck. "Look, I realize that I'm the odd one out here—"
"Hear me out," Mack interrupted while Mara blew out a sigh of frustration. "I know you weren't assigned to this group but now that you're here you've become an important part it. We need your skills in sensing any threat, as well as your ability to track and read the landscape. We also need Mara's normally cool-headed behavior and her healing skills. Now as a leader, I'm tasked with not only organizing people by skills to benefit the whole, but to also pair up the singles into couples—it avoids all the sexual tension and competition among the others—understand?"
"Mack, I need to tell you something," Daniel replied, eyeing Mara and noting how she paled instantly.
"Hold on, let me finish!" he insisted, raising a hand. "Now I know that your circumstances are unique and you came to us from a whole world of pain, but you're recovering well enough. We're at a crucial juncture and need to have everyone focused and together. I don't like Kiera teasing her or batting eyes at you, so I've decided to put you together, as a couple—"
"Look, we can work this out," Mara urged, "just give us some time—"
"No, I won't hear any objections, not even from you darlin'. It's about time you got yourself a man to protect you."
"I can't argue with your wisdom," Daniel stated, "but she's right—we need more time."
"I've made my decision, and I want you to stick together and work things out," Mack advised. "Got it? Trust me, it'll be better this way. Now Daniel, you have 2nd watch, so beginning tomorrow night I'm assigning you guard duty together."
Daniel eyed Mara, noting the way she lifted her chin. "But sir, it's far too dangerous—"
"I can take care of myself—" she objected with a huff, crossing her arms.
"I realize that," he answered, "but staying awake all night is difficult; it takes time to get used to."
"He's right," Mack agreed, eyeing her. "And since you've never taken watch, I expect you to follow Daniel's orders. If or when you fall asleep, he'll be there to watch over you. Call me old fashioned, but every good man needs a woman, and I think you'll suit each other well."
Mara blushed, dropping her arms to her sides. "This is unbelievable," she muttered.
"You have my decision, now live with it," Mack advised, slapping Daniel on the back. "Make the best of it—I pride myself on being a good matchmaker."
"What prompted this decision?" Daniel asked, eyeing him with a guarded expression.
"In case you haven't noticed, Kiera's been making Mara's life miserable, and you need a woman to burn off some of that tension and help you with your social skills. She needs a good man who won't eat her up and spit her out the next day. You're the best man for the job, so deal with it. Now I gotta go take a leak."
With that, he strode past Daniel and disappeared into the darkness. With a mortified expression on her face, Mara studied him as if steeling herself from whatever came next. Daniel lifted a hand to his aching head, exhaling a deep breath as he met her gaze.
"You heard him," he sighed, gesturing toward the camp. "Go ahead—I'll be there in a few minutes."
She narrowed her gaze. "You knew about this, didn't you?"
"No, I didn't," he said, raising his voice more than he'd intended. "But I did want to speak with you, in private."
She stared at him, unable to express her shock. "Why now, all of a sudden?" she choked.
"I've been trying to for some time," he told her. "We need to discuss some things—"
"Well I don't feel like discussing anything, especially after you judged me unfit for guard duty!"
"I didn't judge you, I'm just concerned about your safety—"
"I can take care of myself, which I've been doing for months before you showed up!" she choked, putting a hand to her head and wilting. "…never mind, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blurted that out. It's not your fault."
He studied her embarrassed expression and nodded, trying to resist the dark liquid beauty of her eyes. He shook his head. "Go ahead," he said gently, surprised when she steeled herself, swallowed hard, then whirled around and left him standing alone in the clearing, swiping angrily at the tall stalks of weeds that dared to get in her way.
Mara retired early, snatching up her belongings and carrying them over to Daniel's campsite under Mack's watchful gaze. Daniel was nowhere to be seen, and must have decided to show up only to begin his watch. She lay shivering under the cover of his lean-to, missing the warmth of her tent with Neelah. Upset with him for avoiding her yet again, she couldn't help admit that now that Mack had provided them a solution to their avoiding each other, she was relieved. Now, lying under his tarp and clutching his blanket to her chin, she had to admit she'd been craving his presence, unable to forget being with him and the parting kiss they'd shared in line at the refugee camp. She groaned, fully aware of the fact that she was a contradiction—bitter, hurt, yet longing for him all at the same time. As she curled into a fetal position to keep warm, she stared at the small fire he'd banked next to his campsite and tried to keep warm. She had no idea what she'd do when he came back, but she knew that speaking with him was long overdue.
She dozed off a few times but did not sleep deeply, so when she heard footsteps she snapped to alert and froze. Shutting her eyes, she pretended to be asleep as he added wood to the fire. Holding her breath as he sat at the entrance with his back to her, she watched him tiredly pull off his boots. When he stilled she waited, her heart nearly bursting. Half of her wanted to talk to him, and half dreaded it. Finally he sighed and turned, forcing her to shut her eyes again. After a moment she felt something warm drape over her and peeked out of one eye, recognizing the sleeve of his coat. She heard his belt buckle scrape the ground, then he lay down next to her in the small space. She held her breath as he shifted closer, settling close to her back. She could feel the rock hard planes of his body encompassing her, but when he did nothing more and relaxed, she allowed herself to relax too.
As she listened to the steady sound of his breathing she ignored the whistle of the breeze and closed her eyes, feeling incredibly drowsy. Nearly jumping when she felt a touch upon her arm, she was careful not to flinch or turn away. She waited while he paused, then realized that he was seeking her permission. She tilted her head back very slightly, and after what seemed like an hour, he slid his arms around her from behind. She stiffened at first, but when he did nothing more she gave up and curled back into his embrace, reaching up to grip his forearm. His chin settled atop her head as he held her close, sharing her warmth. She couldn't resist nudging her head back into the crook of his shoulder as she sighed.
"You'll be warm now," he whispered, his legs nudging hers. "We'll both be."
She clenched her eyes against the tears that threatened to spill, mourning the loss of the closeness they'd once shared. Swallowing hard, she relaxed her fingertips against his wrist, almost like a caress.
"Thank you," she croaked, grateful for his warmth, and his patience.
"What's this?" Kiera's voice screeched, waking her with its mocking tone. Mara focused on the harsh gray light surrounding her, knowing it was just after dawn. She gazed up at the girl who had the boldness to kneel and shove her head inside the lean to. Reminding herself that this was Mack's woman, Mara sat up and huddled beneath the blanket.
"You're up early," she greeted her with a yawn.
"Well—where's your man this morning?" Kiera teased, looking around. "He leave you already—after one night?"
"What are you doing here?"
Kiera pointed a cautioning finger at her. "I gotta admit—he's a fine looking guy, regardless of being a nutcase…how is he in the sack, by the way?"
"Shut up," Mara sighed, reaching for her things. "Haven't you anything better to do?"
"I could give you some pointers, you know," she mocked, sweeping her with a critical look. "First of all, try dressing more like a woman, then put some fat on those bones and give him something to grab onto."
"What I do is none of your business," she retorted, pulling on a heavy flannel shirt and crawling out. She stepped closer, eager to wipe that mocking grin off her face, when a voice stopped her.
"What's going on here?"
She froze at the chill and warning in Daniel's voice. Kiera, on the other hand, smiled beautifully up at him. "Why nothin' handsome—just having a friendly girl-to-girl talk."
His gaze hardened upon hers. "Don't call me that," he warned, eyeing Mara. "You ok?"
"Just tryin' to get a rise out of you, if you know what I mean," Kiera snickered, ignoring Mara's nod as she sauntered back toward the other side of the camp, but not without throwing Mara a deprecating look.
He stepped closer and they watched in silence until she'd disappeared into the crowd gathering for breakfast.
"I wish I could stuff a sock in that pouty mouth of hers," Mara murmured, glancing up at him. To her surprise she saw a glint of admiration in his eyes before it vanished.
"Let's get some food before it's gone," he said hoarsely, his eyes sweeping down her figure before he turned away. "I'll save you a place."
That night a stiff breeze howled through the canyon, beating at the flames of the campfire and forcing her to draw a wool blanket around her shoulders. Daniel appeared and came toward her, presumably after settling the horses. She rose to her feet, holding her canteen and rifle, waiting for him to meet her gaze.
"I'm sorry I'm late," he apologized softly, meeting her gaze. She wished she could see into his eyes, but it was too dark. "I had some thinking to do."
"Me too," she admitted, nodding toward the post. "We should get going."
He followed her to the lookout some distance away, and they took up their seats opposite each other. They were close enough to be able to talk, for which she decided she should be grateful. Mack was right—they needed to talk and resolve the tension between them.
"How have you been?" he asked quietly, surprising her. They had been studying the distant slopes and the darkness below, seeing nothing amiss.
"I'm okay," she answered hesitantly, eyeing him until he turned and met her gaze. There was just enough light from the moon and stars that they could read each other's expressions. "I've missed you," she admitted softly.
He swallowed hard, nodding. "And I've missed you…more than you know."
For some reason, she believed him, despite the way he'd avoided her. "How long has it been, since your memory returned?"
He sighed tiredly. "It's been gradual, but about three weeks."
She tensed. "That long?"
He shook his head. "I couldn't tell you," he said, his voice breaking before he went on. "I couldn't get near you…not without the others suspecting."
"I told Neelah the same night we found you," she admitted, "but no one else."
"I'm sorry," he said, reaching for her hand. "I didn't want you to see what I'd become, the darkness inside of me."
She studied him a moment, squeezing his hand. "You're a good man, Daniel. I couldn't stand not being able to help you, or to comfort you, even though I thought you probably didn't know who I was."
"I didn't at first," he admitted, shaking his head. "The things I went through, and saw…"
She waited, but he said nothing more. "I've heard stories about the Knights, the horrible things they've done…now, seeing how that affected you, I know they must be true."
"The night that we got separated at the refugee camp, I prayed and prayed to get back to you. I imagined all sorts of horrible things you may have been suffering, and there was nothing I could do about it."
"I never found out what happened to you," she told him. "I searched everywhere, asked anyone who might have known, even bribed people. But I did manage to get your papers and our license."
He leaned toward her, his expression hopeful. "How on earth?"
"It cost a lot of money, Daniel…I'm sorry I spent it, but I thought it was necessary."
"No, you were right—thank you—and don't worry about the money."
"But what about you? Where did they take you?"
He sat back. "It was a joke—they insisted I had an agenda about blowing up the camp. I must've looked like a terrorist to them, for some reason."
"That's ridiculous!" she hissed. "I had the feeling that they were meeting some kind of quota on bringing in possible suspects, that it had nothing to do with you."
"I don't know, but they interrogated me for three days until they decided I didn't know anything. Eventually they assigned me to a labor team, and we were driven to a mining camp in the north. After that, my days started to blend together. One night we were attacked—they shot the guards and most of the men. A few of us ran into the woods, but the next morning, they found…"
She waited, but he seemed to close himself off from her. He switched his attention to the horizon, studying it for some time. She prayed for him, and wondered if he would continue. Then he did.
"They tortured us, staked us out in the sun…it went on for days. Nights they shot drugs and drank…they raped one of the other men, killed another, then it was my turn…"
She choked back a reply, instead moving closer to him. He did not move, but stared into the darkness. She wound her arm around his back and leaned her head on his shoulder. He breathed out a broken sigh, then continued. "There was a hawk—it attacked the one who was standing over me…it was an answer to prayer. The others thought it was funny, then a fight broke out. They decided to set me loose for a hunt…I managed to hide in the woods, and eventually they gave up."
"Thank God—did they break your arm?"
He nodded. "There was no water anywhere…I got disoriented, almost fell off the ledges."
"Then our guys found you," she whispered. "Daniel, I'm so sorry…after being released to the group, I kept going back to the forest, to look for you."
He turned his head to gaze at her, then touched his brow to hers. "God brought us back together."
She nodded. They sat in silence for a long time.