Chapter 12 The Break Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob…

October 25

Mara awoke to find that she was alone, and rubbed her eyes wondering when she had fallen asleep on watch. Feeling a blush creep up her neck, she scanned her surroundings but saw no sign of Daniel. It was early morning, and she could smell the waft of food and hear the distant clatter of pans from the camp. Ashamed of her insistence that she was qualified for guard duty, she realized that he had been right—staying awake did take getting used to. He, on the other hand seemed to never sleep, and had reserves of strength that astounded her. Pulling at the blanket he must have draped over her shoulders, she got up feeling stiff all over. Ducking into the brush to relieve herself, she wiped her hands on some pine needles and wet leaves, then dried them on her jeans.

Approaching the others, she saw that he was already seated next to Cook. He looked up, caught her gaze and shifted aside so that she could sit next to him. The others greeted her with muted coughs and swallowed laughs, eyeing them both with unhidden curiosity. Daniel lifted his coffee cup and stared back in silent challenge as she sat down. There wasn't much room, but she rested a hand upon his shoulder as she sat down, accepting the cup he offered her. His eyes brushed her face before he looked away, though she felt the press of his thigh against hers as they sat crowded around the fire. Her heart pounded with a mixture of awareness and embarrassment, but she nodded her thanks and then took the bowl of gruel Cook held out to her.

Thankfully, Mack and Kiera were absent, so they only had to deal with the men. Clearing his throat, Daley began a tale of misadventure from his past, for which she was grateful—it shifted the attention away from them, at least momentarily. She listened and tried not to smile at the comic retelling of the story, stealing glances at Daniel as he gave Daly his full attention. His elbow touched her side a few times as he ate, they were that close.

When Neelah walked toward them, Mara noticed a twinkle in her eyes as she nodded to them. She greeted the others and sat across from them, taking the cup of coffee Cook offered her.

"So…any trouble last night?" Riley teased Daniel, elbowing Sam, who swallowed a laugh and reddened.

Daniel looked up, spoon poised above his bowl. "No," he answered, eyeing them suspiciously, "…why do you ask?"

Cook spooned some gruel into a bowl for Neelah. "If we'd had trouble we probably wouldn't be sitting here, now would we?"

Neelah nodded, swallowing her coffee and eyeing them. "Looks like you two had a chance to work things out."

Mara gaped at her, then at the others while Daniel lowered his gaze to the fire. "Since when does breakfast talk center on who's getting along with whom?"

Daniel looked up, eyeing Riley, then Sam. "Mack paired us up—that's all anyone needs to know," he stated.

"Just askin,' man," Riley complained, raising his hands in surrender. "No need to get all offended!"

Sam snickered, waving his spoon in Mara's direction. "Watch out, Ril' 'ole boy—she's got that fire in her eyes!"

Mara put down her bowl, drained her cup and rested a hand on Daniel's knee as she got up. "Thanks, Cook," she said, smiling sweetly to him, then bent toward Daniel. "I'm gonna go pack," she told him, eyeing the others in challenge as she walked off.

Daniel watched her departure while the others eyed the interaction with great interest. He finished his own coffee and nodded his thanks to Cook, who chuckled and shook his head.

"That's my girl," the old man grunted, "ok—time to move on to the weather."

Neelah swallowed a spoonful of oatmeal and eyed Daniel as he stood to leave. "Amen to that."

They were somewhere in what used to be northern Wisconsin, as Mack had indicated two nights before. Daniel knew the plan was to skirt the southern border of the Great Lakes and head into Ontario on their way east. It would take them across the border twice and save time, but he knew that he and Mara couldn't afford to risk it, just in case their status as escapees was a potentially newsworthy item. They would have to separate from the group, but not until after they could buy more supplies and get some rest. Which was why he and Daly had been sent to scout out a suitable city.

"Hold up, time to check our bearings," Daly called, reigning his horse in and reaching into his coat pocket for his old compass. He looked around, obviously unimpressed with their surroundings. "I'd be surprised there's anything decent for miles; we may have to settle for a trade center."

Daniel scanned the rolling hills for any signs of life. "You could be right about that," he sighed, after having counted numerous abandoned farms and houses that dotted a countryside decimated by drought. Dying forests of birch and gnarled oaks stood over barren fields as silent witnesses. The top soil was pretty poor and farming subsidies were a rarity now that the general population had relocated to the cities. They'd been riding for hours and needed to head back soon, and it seemed there would be nothing to report. Still, he directed a silent prayer heavenward just in case.

"Sure wish we could find an old map," Daly groaned, studying their bearings. "In the old days, this used to be a scenic route, US Highway 2, if you can believe it."

"That so?" he replied, studying the cloud patterns and eyeing the horizon.

"If Mack's right, we should be somewhere near the vicinity of the Great Lakes, but who knows? We heard storms have been pretty bad up here, and winter's like the Arctic Circle."

Daniel gazed up at the birds flying overhead and sniffed the air. "You smell that?"

Daly grunted in reply, pocketing his compass. "All I smell is rotting weeds."

"No, on the wind," he stated, nudging his mount toward the rise just ahead. "It just shifted."

"Whaddya mean—manure? Ain't no farms, as far as we've seen."

"No," he gestured for him to follow, "salt."

Daly muttered a tired curse but complied, and when they crested the hill they pulled up short.

"Well I'll be…" Daly whistled, meeting his gaze. "Let's check this out!"

Mara gathered up the clothes she'd strewn over the bushes to dry and finger-combed her hair. She felt refreshed from having scrubbed her skin and hair and after changing into a clean tee and leggings. She' d helped Neelah take inventory and pack everything up, finishing early enough to get a chance to clean herself up. This spot was far from the camp and assured her the privacy she craved, but it was getting late and she needed to head back. They were leaving before dawn, so everyone planned on an early supper and turning in just after dark. She looked up and froze, gasping in surprise when she saw someone standing beneath the trees, watching her. It was nearly twilight, but she knew at once who it was.

Heart pounding, she stared at him until he stepped out from the cover and came toward her.His eyes held her prisoner, but she lifted her chin and held his gaze. Inside, her emotions were a swirl of irritation, fascination, and desire. She held her pack to her stomach when he stopped only a meter away.

"How long have you been standing there?" she croaked, a bit intimidated by his silence.

He studied her expression without breaking eye contact. "Long enough."

Mortified to think he might have been watching while she dressed, she frowned. "You spying on me?"

He swallowed, his gaze drifting to her lips and back. "Neelah told me you were out here. I just wanted to be sure you were ok."

Shifting her pack to her shoulder, she moved past him to head back. "I don't need a babysitter," she huffed.

He caught her wrist, stopping her. "I know you don't," he said quietly.

At that moment she really missed the old Daniel, for this one bothered her more than she'd realized. "Let go—"

"I saw signs of coyote tracks on the way here," he stated, releasing her.

She sobered at the news, aware of how silly she was acting. "Ok, I won't go out alone again," she stated, moving past him.

"Where are you going?"

She glanced over one shoulder. "Back to camp."

"You avoiding me?"

Surprised, she stopped and turned to face him. "Me—avoiding you? I think you have it backwards, Daniel."

He pursed his lips. "I've been busy...we just got back from a scout."

She studied his steely expression, seeing the yearning in his eyes, but confused by his behavior. "I've been busy too," she shrugged. "It's just the way things are—"

"Why are you angry?" he asked, and when she didn't answer he stepped closer. "I thought we were ok."

"We are," she told him, not really convinced herself. "Things are just awkward, and everyone—"

"Remember the hot springs?" he interrupted, watching her closely.

Her reserve melted, and all her irritation drained away. "Of course I remember."

"And the kiss, right before we were separated?"

"Daniel, don't…"

He gripped her arms as she stared up at him, her pack slipping from her shoulder, forgotten. "Don't what?" he whispered, his gaze dropping to her lips.

"Don't pretend it's the same," she choked, putting a hand on his chest. "My feelings for you haven't changed, but after everything that's happened—"

He cupped her face in his palm, cutting her off with a kiss. She gripped the front of his shirt to keep her balance as he tilted his head and kissed her again, tentatively, seeking a response. She sighed, closing her eyes and spreading her fingers over his chest. Then he raised his head and looked into her eyes. "I've wanted to do that for weeks," he said in a husky voice.

She put her arms around his waist. "Daniel, I'm sorry..."

"Even though we've slept together for warmth, I've wanted so much more," he confessed.

She looked up at him, confused. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

He lifted a hand to her hair. "How could you think that?"

She reached up to touch his cheek, marveling at the way his eyes darkened to navy. "I thought you were trying to avoid me."

"I was trying to control my desire for you…it wasn't easy with you so close."

She studied his expression, smiling up at him. "I guess Mack is a good matchmaker."

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners, transforming his face and making her breath catch. "Much as I hate to admit it, he is."

She hugged him close, resting her cheek upon his chest. "I've missed you so," she sighed.

For a while they didn't speak, then he slowly disengaged himself. "We need to get back, it's getting dark."

She nodded, keeping his hand as she bent to pick up her backpack. He squeezed it as they started back.

"Daly and I found a city called Ashland about three hours away," he told her. "We can restock and get some rest there." he told her.

She studied him a moment. "You're sure it's safe?"

He nodded. "We checked it out; there are several motels and stores, not too many homeless."

"Any troops?"

"We didn't see any," he stated. "No guards or city gates either."

"That's a relief," she sighed. "It would be wonderful to eat hot food and have hot water again."

He nodded. "They have solar and wind power, and it's along the southern edge of Lake Superior."

"Sounds wonderful," she breathed, "like civilization."

"I'd like to find a justice of the peace," he added, watching her carefully.

She studied his expression. "Are you sure, Daniel?"

"If you are, yes."

"I am," she sighed, swinging their joined hands as they walked.

"I want us to be legally married," he told her, "but the others don't need to know."

"They would think us crazy for even bothering."

"Which is why we're not going to mention it," he answered. "After that, I want us to go on alone."

She slowed her steps. "You're sure?"

He sighed in frustration. "We can't risk crossing the border, which Mack intends to do. We have to be careful, just in case we're still on the wanted list."

"I suppose you're right," she agreed. "You really think Holscomb is still looking for us?"

"I don't know, but we can't be too careful."

"Being on our own again would be a welcome change."

"We'll need to leave before they do, and keep a low profile until then."

"Maybe get a room in a different hotel than theirs? I heard Kiera planning it all out."

"Good idea," he agreed, "we can lay low and give Mack the idea that his matchmaking worked…looks like everyone's back…"

She studied them as they approached, and squeezed his hand. "Show time."

They acted as before, sitting together at supper, careful to avoid revealing anything of their feelings. When it was time to retire, they washed up separately, and by the time Mara reached their campsite there were more branches piled onto the roof and stacked up against the side. She was touched by his efforts to afford them some privacy, but wondered exactly what he had in mind for tonight. They had to be careful, maintain the premise that they hadn't know each other before, yet somehow let Mack know they were not only resigned to being paired up, but actually proving him right. Deep in thought, she ducked inside to get ready.

Fluffing their sleeping bags, she unfolded their blankets and spread them on top, then tidied the area. Sitting to remove her boots, she took her hair down and thought about sharing a room with him again. Smoothing on a little of the scented balm Neelah had given her for her cracked hands, she inhaled its pleasant minty fragrance and rubbed a bit under her chin. Shivering in the cool nighttime air, she wriggled into her sleeping bag and changed, prayed for their future together. It was good to have reconciled and that Daniel seemed to be healing from his emotional turmoil. She'd begun to pray more often, especially if he was out scouting or hunting, for her greatest fear was that he'd be taken from her again or injured, although she knew she had to learn to trust in prayer, just as he did.

When she heard him outside the lean-to, she rose up enough to lean on her elbow to watch. He tended the fire, setting up a pyramid of wood to fall in as it burned. When he kneeled down and looked in, she smiled and watched him enter. Then he turned his back and sat down to pull off his boots. He set them aside and reached up to drop the flap of the tent over the entrance. She watched him remove his flannel shirt, then wriggle out of his jeans to sleep in his long-johns. She laid back, watching until he finally moved beneath the sleeping bag. She lifted the covers as he turned toward her and took her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, lifting her face to accept his tentative kiss. In a moment they reacquainted themselves with each other. He kissed her lazily while she stroked his cheek, tracing his lower lip with her fingers and kissing him gently.

His hand slid down her hip and paused. "What's this?" he whispered as she wound her feet around his ankles. "No long underwear?"

"I'd rather you warm me up," she whispered, kissing his lower lip.

His fingers found the gap between her briefs and her top, which he traced with his fingers. "God," he choked, pressing his lips to hers. "How am I supposed to be in control when you—"

"I'm sorry," she half-breathed, half laughed, slipping her hand into the small of his back and touching his skin. "Just welcoming my soon-to-be husband."

He pulled her close, tucking her head beneath his chin. "I could get used to this," he breathed with a trace of frustration in his voice.

She kissed the spot beneath his jaw, feeling his heart begin to pound and marveling at his reaction.

"Mara…" he half groaned.

"Sorry," she whispered, laying her cheek upon his shoulder. "You're right, we don't have any privacy—I'll stop."

"I didn't mean for good…"

She nodded. "I know," and rose above him to smooth his hair off his forehead. Then she kissed him and laid her head on his shoulder.

He sighed, resting his head back but keeping her close. "Try to get some rest…"

"You too," she whispered back.

They stared at the glow of the fire, both falling quickly to sleep in each other's arms.

Ashland's streets were crowded, filled with many different choices for goods, food, lodging and entertainment. Daniel was on alert, eyeing the crowds as he tried to navigate through the central district toward City Hall. Since arriving around mid morning, they'd traded in their horses at the federal livery for boarding and grooming, secretly saying goodbye to their horses while making sure no one else in the group noticed. They split up for lunch, most of the group going to lunch with Mack and Kiera, while they chose a cheaper restaurant in a different part of the city and dined with Daly, Neelah and Cook. Mack had ordered them to check in at the same hotel later, but Daniel had already decided on another hotel across town, which was where they now headed.

He knew it was difficult for Mara to leave Neelah without saying goodbye, but she'd agreed that it was better not to tell her anything about their plans. He sensed the older woman already knew, but they both trusted her to keep it to herself. And it would be better for her if Mack were convinced she knew nothing of their plan.

He reserved a room at an older hotel on a quiet side street, then found an ATM machine to check his field account. Much to his surprise it was still open, and in fact had been padded with additional deposits. There were two other withdrawals, so he couldn't begin to guess who had made the deposits. It was a miracle that the University still hadn't blocked its access, but he was thankful, and proceeded to withdraw the maximum amount allowable. With the money he and Mara bought winter clothing, new boots, and traded in their frame backpacks for soft packs. By the time they were finished their room was ready, so they left their purchases in the room and went out again for their last errand. The justice of the peace processed their paperwork quickly, and they were married before two witnesses and congratulated, all within less than an hour.

On the empty elevator down from the 23rd floor, he took Mara's hand, squeezing it gently. She looked up at him, her eyes wide, and he bent to kiss her. She gripped his arm with both hands, standing close by his side until they reached the lobby and stepped out. Outside, the sunlight was fading as they walked four blocks back to the hotel, took the elevator to the fifth floor, and unlocked their door.

"Allow me," he announced, startling her by scooping her up into his arms.

"What are you do—" she laughed, winding her arms around his neck as he carried her over the threshold.

"What brides and grooms have done for centuries," he stated, bending to kiss her lips as he lowered her back to her feet. She kept her arms around him as he closed and bolted the door behind his back.

"I like it," she breathed, kissing him with a sparkle in her eyes. "Thank you for marrying me…"

"My pleasure," he breathed, walking her toward the windows where he held her from behind. "What a view."

She lifted her hands to his arms and sighed. Sunset was coloring the sky deep pink and purple, and the tops of the buildings glinted in the golden light. They watched until the huge sphere dropped below the horizon, then he drew the heavy curtains together.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" she asked, holding his gaze when he turned to look at her.

"'Course not," he answered, coming toward her. "This reminds me of another hotel stay..."

She nodded. "It seems like that was so long ago."

"Maybe we can start over?"

"We are starting over, aren't we?" she realized. "We've been through so much even since then."

"Just keep looking forward," he suggested, pulling off his jacket and hanging it up, "and tonight is ours."

She nodded, gathering a few bags of her new purchases. "I won't be so long this time."

"Take all the time you need," he added, "and I won't be falling asleep this time."

"Me either," she promised, holding his gaze before closing the door.

He was not at all surprised when he heard the lock click, and hoped for the day when they would no longer be uncomfortable with each other. Or the day they might shower together.

Mara finished drying her hair, and checked her appearance again in the foggy mirror. She touched up the corner of her eye where a bit of mascara smudged her skin, then stepped back. Feeling nervous, she concentrated on Daniel and how she felt about him, rather than on herself.

"I love him," she whispered, praying that before the night was over she could convince him of it. She didn't want to say the words without showing him. It was true that she knew very little about his life, she knew who he was now. She trusted him, which was unusual for her. They faced a somewhat uncertain future, but she also trusted God to help them build a life together, wherever that may be.

Turning to gather up her things, she opened the door and stepped out. The lights were dimmed, throwing a warm glow throughout the room. It was quiet and comfortably furnished, and the bed was turned down invitingly. Daniel turned from where he stood at the window, dropping the curtain back into place.

"You look beautiful," he said quietly, watching her set her things down on the chair at her side. She went to him, reaching up to touch his arm as his eyes traveled over her feminine pajamas.

"It's like a haven here, so quiet and clean," she sighed.

"Quite a change, isn't it?" he answered, bending to kiss her cheek. "If you don't mind, I'd like a shower too."

"Of course not," she smiled, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," he nodded, picking up a bag of his things. She crossed her arms, hugging herself until he closed the door. But he did not lock it.

When she heard him turn on the shower, she lifted the blankets and climbed up into the softness of a real bed, hardly remembering the last time she slept in one, rather than a prison cot or gurney. Leaning back against the mound of pillows, she covered herself and felt her own warmth seeping into the sheets. Before long, she heard the shower turn off, then the water from the sink. She hoped he was not shaving off his beard, which she'd grown very fond of, especially in the last few days. Closing her eyes, she tried picturing what he was doing.

Then the door opened and he came out, dressed in navy pajama bottoms and tee shirt. Unable to take her eyes off him, she admired the bulge of his upper arms and chest beneath the fabric. He set aside his things, then walked toward the bed. He paused, holding her gaze, then planted a knee on the mattress. He came to her, taking her into his arms with a slow, teasing kiss.

She reached up to embrace him as he stretched over her, remembering the way he'd kissed her in line at the refugee camp. As he did then, he kissed her with a hungry, hot hunger that shot through her. His body pressed into hers, hard and strong, and there was no mistaking his desire for her. She opened herself to him with an answering hunger, drinking in his kisses as she threaded her fingers into his hair, then down the back of his neck and shoulders. Beneath her fingertips she could trace some of the scars he carried, seeing them in her mind and grieving for his years of suffering. She offered herself to him to comfort and thrill, but when he were trailed kisses down the side of her neck she forgot everything but the feelings he aroused in her.

They wrestled in their hunger for each other, and when he whispered her name she shifted beneath him, feeling his hand pressing her up into his body. She gasped with pleasure, guiding his other hand to her breast and holding it there.

He broke the kiss, his eyes burning into hers while she explored the planes of his chest, pushing his shirt up until he reached back to pull it off.

"Don't stop," she whispered, pulling his head down for her kiss. He slid his hands over her chest, parting her top and touching her in the same way. When his mouth replaced his hands, she groaned with pleasure.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed into her ear, then moved to his back, pulling her on top of him. She slid down along his length, loving the feel of his body. His hands caressed her, making her feel powerful and beautiful. When she could stand no more, she bent to him and kissed his cheek.

"I want you inside," she whispered against his lips, and he lifted himself against her lower body, slipping his hand between them. They struggled with the rest of their clothing until it was flung aside. Then he shifted over her, pressing against her until she pulled him inside. He groaned, going still as they adjusted to the feel of each other.

She smoothed her hands down his back, cradling his head at her breast until he began to move inside her. She gasped and breathed his name, wrestling him in a passionate contest of give and take. When she finally cried out he buried his forehead in the pillow next to hers, pressing into her until he found his own release. She caressed his shoulders and held him until he moved to his side, taking her with him. He snagged the blankets and pulled them up to their waists, resting his head on the pillow and catching his breath as he gazed at her.

She touched his lips with her fingertips, kissed his neck and pressed her face against his throat. His scent was heady, and she loved the heavy weight of his arm draped over her.

"That was…amazing," she croaked, her voice hoarse with emotion.

"You were amazing," he told her, lifting his head to capture her lips in a gently stirring kiss.

"I'm sorry I took so long," she sighed, looking into his eyes and wishing it was bright enough to study their color.

"You were perfect," he insisted, reaching up to trace his finger along her jaw.

"You knew just what to do," she marveled, combing his hair back with her fingers. His eyes closed, and she realized how much he craved her touch.

"No…it was pure instinct," he said thickly, opening his eyes to study her face.

She felt his body change and separate from hers, feeling the loss. To compensate, she wound her arms around him and held onto him, rubbing her lips over his pectoral muscle.

"Daniel…"

"Hmmm?" he sighed, his eyes still closed.

She glanced up at him, seeing how exhausted he was. "Never mind, get some rest."

She turned and shifted to her side, while his arms came around her from behind.

"That's better," he breathed into her hair. "Sleep with me…"

She tucked herself back into his embrace, trailing her fingers down his hip to his thigh, closing her eyes. Beneath her fingertips she felt the rough surface of what must be another scar, and her eyes filled with moisture. But she had never felt as treasured as he'd made her feel.

"'love you," he breathed upon a sigh and she closed her eyes. They settled into a peaceful, undisturbed sleep.