Negan didn't want to wait for Rae. Despite what he said, sometimes the mountain did fucking move. Sometimes it rolled right up to your gate in a big ass truck.

The gate didn't open. He hadn't exactly expected it to. He pulled his truck up right outside the entrance and jumped out of the cabin. He hoped Rae remembered their little conversation about letting him in versus breaking in as much as he hoped the woman standing guard wouldn't decide to shoot him.

"Special delivery," he grinned to the little asian woman who was this morning's gatekeeper.

Negan could see the muzzle of her gun pointing his way and the cogs turning in her head before she looked over her shoulder with a frantic, "get Rae."

The heavy clunking of the gate peeling open had him breathing a sigh of relief. Sure he'd force his way in but that didn't mean he wanted to and he sure as shit didn't want to get shot in the process.

Rae stood central as the gate's split apart, her hair was loose about her shoulders, perfectly framing her bitch face as she carefully plucked soil covered gardening gloves off her long fingers.

He saluted to her before climbing back into the truck and waiting none too patiently for her to stand her sweet butt aside and let him in. Her eyes never left his and Negan wondered where this woman got the balls to challenge him. He'd seen bigger men fall at their knees but not Rae. Even if she quite rightly thought he was the big bad wolf and not to be trusted that hadn't made her more pliable or subservient. As much as it had annoyed the fuck out of him last night it made him chuckle this morning.

He drove the truck into the dusty courtyard, taking up the entire space much to the annoyance of Margo who was sneering at him from behind her ever present clipboard. He winked hoping it would make her flustered before making his way around the truck to let his men out from where they had been squished amongst the produce.

"I brought your apples," he declared as he strolled, Lucille by his side, to where Rae was standing with her arms folded.

"I can see," her arms fell to the sides, her green eyes studying him with contempt. "I said I would collect them."

He pointed Lucille at her, the end just touching her chest, "looks to me like I saved you a fucking trip."

Rae shifted from foot to foot in stilted movements before she cleared her throat, "thanks."

Negan held his hand to the side of his ear, "did my ears fucking deceive me? Now that is a very pretty word coming from you Doll."

Her jaw tightened before she took a deep breath, "we should talk about last night."

What a chick move. The last thing Negan was going to do was talk about last night. So, he'd kissed her, it was a moment of fucking madness. He laughed, looking her up and down, "nah… turns out I've changed my mind about you Red."

"Excuse me?"

Negan liked to think she was disappointed, he pointed the end of Lucille at her again, "you're one fucked up woman do you know that? That almighty chip on your shoulder is going to snap you in fucking two and I'm not sure I wanna be there for the fucking fall out. You know some fuckers would be grateful for me saving their sweet little ass, driving them home like a fucking gentleman and then offering to take care of all their goddamn problems."

"You're right."

His eyes flicked to hers, Lucille dropped to his side.

"I'm sorry," she continued.

Sorry. That word again, why did she say it like that? Like she fucking meant it. He didn't like it.

"I admit I haven't exactly been grateful, but…" she stepped towards him, her tongue licking across her lips in a tiny motion that was just enough to remind his body exactly how much it had wanted hers last night. "We need your help. I need your help."

He shifted uncomfortably, "why the sudden change of heart?"

"This place is more than me. More than any of us… I thought with everything that has happened that people would come together. It's us against them right? The living and the dead. But men like Jacob are just tearing everything apart."

"And... men like me?"

Rae looked at her hands, toying with the gloves she was holding, "you helped me, you're offering me more help and I'd be foolish to turn it down or..." she looked back at him, "to keep telling you that I don't need you."

This fucking redhead, burning hot and cold, yes and no. Negan grunted, scratching at his scruff and looking her up and down. "Gather your apples, Red."

She tucked her gloves into the waistband of her jeans, allowing him the smallest glance of her ivory skin in the process. He swallowed hard, enjoying the glimpse more than was necessary for anyone other than virgin teenage boys.

Negan was lost in watching her walk around the truck that he barely noticed Mark sidling up to him "you want me to start lining everyone up boss?"

Negan twirled Lucille, feeling the weight of her as he glanced at the farmhouse and with one long breath, "no." He wasn't sure what game he was playing with Rae but he couldn't stand the idea of it being over. He couldn't stand the idea of her being like the other women in his life.

A look crossed Mark's face and Negan couldn't quite put his finger on it, relief? "Rae has nothing to give us anyway. These people can barely make enough for themselves. Tim said-"

Negan interrupted Mark's little speech, whacking the end of Lucille across his chest "you growing a fucking brain?"

"Sir?" he coughed, winded.

"I'll fucking decide what these people have and what I want. Your job is to keep your mouth shut and follow orders."

"Whatever you say boss."

Negan didn't like his tone and made a mental note to strike Mark off his list of fuckers he could trust. Fuck, half the saviors were off that list. Like a pack of dogs, everyone wanted a place at the top, like it was so fucking easy being in charge of all the non stop shit that cropped up. He glanced at Rae, dishing out orders to her people while Margo stood by with a face like thunder.

/

Rae had to stop letting Negan get under her skin, swallow her pride and take what he offered. Last night she could have kicked herself for allowing him to kiss her. She still wasn't entirely sure how it had happened. One minute she had been thinking he was the most arrogant bastard alive and the next she was in his arms. Curiosity outweighing good sense, her lips wanting to see, just for a moment, what it would be like. Kissing Negan was as expected; spine tingling in an awfully good way. Arrogant bastard.

She picked a basket of apples from the truck and Tim came over to take it from her before he passed it to one of Negans men. "Miguel's pissed."

Yesterday she'd managed to contain him in the doctors RV, releasing him only when Negan was gone. To say he'd been angry would have been a severe understatement. He was furious. At her, Negan, everyone. The only thing that had placated him was her promise that Negan wasn't coming back here this morning.

"Where is he?" she said.

"Round back, chopping wood… for now."

"Take two people and make sure he stays out of the way," she looked at Negan who was overseeing everything, "this situation is delicate enough."

"What if he puts up a fight?"

"Contain it," Rae snapped, feeling instantly guilty as she watched Tim lower his head and back away.

She sighed and squished her eyes shut for a moment's relief. She'd spent hours last night holding her sister while she vomited what looked like the lining of her stomach into a bucket. Other people had offered to do it but she'd refused, it was her sister and if anyone was going to hold her hair and stroke her back it was going to be Rae.

She stifled a yawn before leaving Margo to finish counting up the apples and hurrying into the kitchen to grab the pot of coffee for Negan's men. Just because Negan was incorrigible didn't mean his men had to suffer. On the whole they'd been nice, or as nice as could be expected.

Grandma was waiting, her stern look enough to make Rae's heart do a flip, "did you make nice?"

"Yes," Rae sighed as she began to prepare the coffee.

Grandma gathered a stack of metal camping mugs, "I don't like it but right now we need that mans help."

"I know." Grandma had quizzed her about Negan and Rae had somehow ended up being scolded for her behaviour. Of course she hadn't mentioned the kiss or his general lewd behaviour otherwise she was certain there would be a different scolding happening in the middle of the vegetable garden right now.

Rae took the coffee outside. Negan's men were exceptionally grateful and surprisingly polite while the man himself just looked bemused.

"You playing first lady to my men?"

Rae passed him a cup before carefully filling it, "I'm just being friendly."

He sniffed the contents, "that's what makes me fucking suspicious."

Rae scoffed, "how exactly do you want me to be Negan?"

"Just be yourself."

"Okaaay."

"Don't fucking bullshit me… all your sweet little thank you's, sorry's, pots of fucking coffee. This is not the woman from yesterday, not unless this coffee is filled with fucking arsenic."

"Are you saying you don't like my coffee?"

"Not if it's brimming with bullshit."

She poured the last of the coffee into her own mug and took a sip, "tastes good to me."

Negan grinned, twirling his bat and taking a lean against the porch.

Rae stood next to him, watching his men talking with some of her people, her women. Men over the age of twenty and under the age of 'too old' had become a rare commodity in these walls over the past two years. There hadn't always been such an uneven distribution of sexes but it was the men that volunteered for the more dangerous jobs and it was them that had died.

She banished the thought of all those lost people and instead tried to think of how to ask Negan what he was going to do about Jacob. She couldn't just outright say it, he wasn't the kind of man who didn't like to show all his cards and fawning over his strength would only feed into his ridiculous ego.

The remains of the coffee had been barely a mouthful in her dented mug but Rae had savoured every sip in her hesitation to speak. She was just about to say something when Negan began.

"Those pills you were so worried about…" she looked at him, his eyes were fixed in the distance, "don't tell me they were for your Grandma."

"Is that genuine concern?" Rae studied his profile, watching the way his cheeks moved, hinting at a tiny dimple under all that beard as his lips curved into a smile.

"Would that be so fucking hard for you to believe?"

"I don't know. But maybe now you've lost all interest in me, we can hold an actual conversation?"

Negan laughed, sipping his coffee, "sass me like that and I might change my fucking mind."

Rae bit her tongue and averted her eyes from his, "don't worry. I'm sure Grandma will outlive us all."

"Good, I might have a soft spot for the old bird."

"They were for my sister," she could feel him looking at her as much as the lump that had swollen in the back of her throat and the tears that were filling her eyes. Rae played with her metal cup, anything to distract her.

"Oh a sister? She a redhead too?" he joked.

"She's dying." She didn't expect Negan's sympathy. She wasn't sure why she admitted it. He didn't care about anything real.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them.

"And she's a blonde, you like blondes too?" she kicked off the wall, feeling stupid for revealing something so painful to a man who didn't seem to care about anything but his dick.

/

The unfamiliar guilt settled in his stomach, fuck. How did she manage to make him feel like shit when out of all fucking people he was giving her his best fucking attempt at good behaviour.

He grabbed her arm, "Red-"

"You're right Negan, I'm not sorry or thankful, I'm just desperate. I'd do anything to protect my niece."

He pushed her back against the wall, "I don't know what I want from you Red, but it sure as fuck isn't bullshit or desperation…" he ran his hand over his face in agitation, "just… just fuckin... be real." Flesh and blood, sharp tongue and soft skin, a real person who he didn't have to fucking control. A woman he didn't have to fucking bribe because she was desperate.

Maybe he didn't know how to play nice, he'd forgotten or never learned how. Either way he couldn't be the good guy but he hadn't changed his mind about Rae. He wanted her, he wanted her to give herself to him as much as he wanted to possess her.

"Have you ever killed an innocent person?" Rae demanded.

He scratched his beard, "define innocent."

"Thats a yes then."

"I'm the leader of the Saviours, it isn't a fucking jamboree. In this world innocence is pretty fucking subjective sweetheart."

She huffed, her green eyes glaring wildly. "I-"

A sudden burst of machine gunfire interrupted whatever hell she was going to give him. Negan didn't know whether to be grateful for the interruption or not as the shots continued intermingled with screaming. Rae pulled herself from his grasp, dropping her cup and tripping over a hose as she ran around the side of the house. Negan picked up Lucille and followed. Sure, he wasn't the fucking hero but that didn't mean he didn't get to have the beautiful woman. The beautiful woman that ran towards the hail of gunfire.

A/N- Thank you to all my new followers and everyone who left a review. I love reading your messages! Keeps me writing ;)

I wrote a fun Regency AU if anyone is interested.

StrangersAngel- Even though Miss Pemberley isn't getting much love I enjoyed writing it so much that I've thought about an idea for chapter two, sometimes you just gotta write for yourself and one big fan haha ;)

I've made a Tumblr for anyone that's interested, superprincesspea.

Thanks for reading!