Reacting Against this Garbled Existence

So i'm not going to lie, I'm having very mixed emotions on writing right now.

Don't get me wrong; I still love writing. It's an amazing form of expression for one's ideas and beliefs, and it's still extremely fun to write with my friends on numerous other projects, while almost 80% of them will never see the light of day. It's just the one's that I am currently doing are what's bugging me. I know that I've constantly been improving on my skills at writing (Completely evident in my older work, I might add), and for that I'm thankful.

But that's the thing, though. With all of this newfound experience and insight, i can't help but look back at my old work and just feel odd and, for the most part, disappointed. And I understand that it's not just me, that we all have that problem. I can guarantee you, for all of my fellow writers reading this, there's not one single person who hasn't looked back at something they wrote and thought 'man, what the fuck was I smoking?'

If I had to be completely honest with you guys, the only thing I have right now that i'm still comfortable with is Doctor Krow, and that' simply because I just haven't done all that much with the damn thing to mess it up yet, so no fret for you few readers who follow me for that work. MOH, on the other hand, feels far to cluttered and just sloppy compared to how I want it to feel. I started out wanting to make it just as dark and disturbed as I'm trying to make it now, and you can tell just by reading that that's what my original intentions were. But obviously, I was still a novice who just fell short, most of it feeling, to me, personally, far too rushed and cluttered to be considered effective. And Foreign Exchange, my current Self Insert and my most popular fic by far, has fared no better, unfortunately. I have literally dug myself a hole that seems about twenty feet deep from where i'm standing. Sure, it's worked better than most, and it's gotten some of my more creative ideas so far for building an individual universe of Remnant, but it's the execution that's extremely poor.

And don't even get me started on that fuckin' pole I held.

*Shudders*

But by no means do I want to just abandon these stories. I know they have merit to them. I still want them to be told, how they were supposed to be told. But right now, when I look at the task of re-writing them, it just immediately makes me want to do something else. So, i was essentially stuck, wanting to get back into writing and at the same time not wanting to deal with the hardships of my current stories while simultaneously not wanting to lose them. At the end of the day, I sat there and thought to myself, 'just how in the hell am I going to fix this?'

Let me tell you, it didn't come like a snap of the fingers. I've come to the conclusion of this; Until i can find the motivation to tackle my current problem, I'm going to focus almost solely on a completely new self insert that can hopefully help me get rid of the ire I have for dealing with the new one.

Obviously, I'm still an inept fan of the show. In a life as dark and gritty as the one we live in, to see a world with people who are so bright and happy, even with their current situation, is reassuring in its own right. Which is for me, and I'm sure for many other people, the reason why there are so many stories with people entering into the world of Remnant and just getting to interact with these people, to see that there's still some happiness and reason within our lives. When everything else seems dark, it's nice to see a light every once in awhile.

But I personally find many of these fics far too optimistic. I realise, most of these people are around the average from 15 to 20 years old, and most of us haven't had the life experiences it takes to give us the real feel of life yet. Now, I'm not going to sit here and sound like some pompous ass as I say how 'uhhhh, I've been through much more than any of you miscreants could ever imagine', but I will say I have had my fair share of shit in my life. But, I digress. I'm eighteen years old, I have a job, I have clothes on my back, food in my stomach, and a few good friends to help me out through the day. And for all of that, i am eternally thankful, because I know there are people out there who don't have those things. And speaking from experience, it's not exactly fun.

But hell, that's enough of the sappy shit spewing for me. None of you are here to read about my life, or at least, it wasn't your first intention. So I'm sure your all wondering; Okay, so he's mentioned a new SI to take his mind off of things. What is it, exactly?

R.A.G.E is something I've always wanted to do, ever since I first typed out my first chapter of Decay: Days Gone By as MadnessDH98 (Spoiler alert: It sucked). Like I mentioned earlier, there are so many of these self inserts where the person just magically falls into the laps of team RWBY and automatically strikes up a friendship with them. No offence to the writers who do this, but what are the actual chances of that? Now I understand, if you make a fic without including the characters, the masses aren't going to come pouring in to read your work. But if I am to be frank, I pulled those tricks to bring in viewers and get more popular on Foreign Exchange, and I'm still annoyed with myself for having done that. So, to warn you readers, it won't be immediate team RWBY. And another extremely annoying thing (for me, anyways) that I'm going to skip is the process of the SI entering Remnant, but he will be of this world, seeing as how it's supposed to be… Well, you know.

Here's where the main point comes in, though. You see, it's quite obvious just how different of places Earth and Remnant are, and one of those differences is the physical manifestation of one's soul, otherwise called 'aura'. In every single story that i've read on this website with a person entering another universe, and not just even for RWBY, but other genres as well, everyone just assumes it would transfer over to our body easily and we could be along our merry way.

My question is this, though: What if it didn't?

What if the installment of aura onto a foreign body had a negative effect? For all we know, the bodies of Remnant could have specific designs in them just for the housing of this energy. A similar comparison could say you have a triple A and a double A battery. Both are designed to hold their own amount of energy for their own specific purposes. But say if you were to try and use a triple A to use for, let's say a TV remote when it needs double AA's. Not only would they not fit, they could possibly need the energy from the double A in order to sustain it.

And seeing as how it wasn't designed for this purpose… It begins to melt down over time.

So while yes, this is indeed a story of Remnant, it's not just that. No, dear readers, this is something more. This is a story of isolation even when you're surrounded by others, and being put into a situation where, even though it's not fair, and even though they didn't ask for it, the character must find a way to deal with the hand they've been dealt… Before it ultimately becomes their undoing.

As you are reading this, the first chapter is already under work and I will hopefully have the first chapter done by the end of this week, if I work diligently enough. Like I said, this is to be of help, so if this becomes something that I feel like I have to do, instead of something I want to do, it would begin to defeat the whole purpose.

Until then, my friends.

-Triple T