Rae stood on the tips of her toes, bringing those bottle greens eyes of hers level with his but Negan could hardly look at them. Instead he focused on the way her tongue licked across her lips before she said, "I just wanna feel the way you make me feel."

That was all it took, her hands on his chest and those words and Negan was already feeling exactly how she made him feel, like a desperate man. He tipped his head away from her advance, his gaze creeping from her lips to see the determination in her red ringed eyes. He didn't say anything and she didn't hesitate. She buried her hand in his hair, pulling him close enough for her lips to brush against his and demand a kiss. Who was he to resist such sweet temptation?

Negan groaned, reaching for her waist to hold her tight as their kiss deepened, his body raging with unquenched need. It felt so fucking good yet so fucking wrong, he could almost taste the salt of her tears under the sweetness of her lips.

"Red," Negan shuddered, taking her wrists in hand, "fucking hell baby, you really fucking know how to kill a man." His voice was hoarse and his dick crying out 'what the fuck?' as his gaze darted from her lips to her eyes. It took every ounce of his resolve to not follow the head in his pants and use the one that sat on his shoulders, "you're not at your fighting weight and fuck me…" he groaned, his frustration as painful as a kick to the balls, "I can't have you like this."

Negan hardly fucking knew what had gotten into him. Here was Rae giving him exactly what he wanted and like a virgin prom date he couldn't go through with it. Fucking hell, he cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushing against her honey gold freckles and he knew, he knew that despite the blood that had rushed southwards so quick he felt light headed, he'd rather never have her than to have her like this.

For once he'd like a woman to hand herself over without a catch. He was so fucking tired of being nothing more than a meal ticket. It had been fun at first, he'd enjoyed women falling at his feet because he was King Dick. But when he'd taken his first wife he hadn't been thinking it would last, instead he'd been thinking any day could be his last. Now he wasn't sure it would ever end. Sure, he was a man, he liked women but he didn't need five of the damn things. Yes, they made him look powerful as fuck and god knows he liked being the bastard that was living out every mans wet dream but even dreams had to end, some dreams were nothing but a fucking nightmare.

She twisted her wrist from his grasp, her long fingers clutching the lapels of his jacket to pull him towards her, "I know what I want Negan."

"No you don't." He deserved a motherfucking medal for this shit. Yet he probably wasn't going to get anything more than another frustrating nights sleep only to wake up with a boner that could break through drywall. "I'm not gonna fuck a crying woman. The only crying I want a woman to do is when she is praising the good lord for my dick. I'm worth the wait baby and I will gladly be of service to every last filthy as fuck fantasy that you can think of Miss Honey," he kissed her wrist, inhaling the medicinal smell of disinfectant soap, "next time, Red."

"Next time?" her words were hard almost as hard as the look that cemented her bitch face before she turned, leaving him with nothing but a nice view of ass he'd just denied himself. "There's no next time! That was it, and you what? thank you," she looked over her shoulder, her cheeks tinged with pink, her green eyes as sharp as when she'd looked at Zuzu. "Being rejected by you just tops off my day so yeah, thanks for that."

"Don't fucking do that." He wanted to laugh but didn't, sometimes he forgot what he was dealing with here, a crazy ass bitch. "You'd hate me for taking advantage of your sweet little nice girl ass. Jesus fuck, Red."

"I already hate you! And you're right, that was a mistake."

"And they say redheads have a temper, I can't fucking imagine why," he threw his arms out to release some of the ball aching frustration, his lips pulled into something that was halfway between a snarl and a grin.

"I don't have a temper. I have you." Rae squared up to him on her endless legs, "you'd try the patience of a saint, I hope you leave and never come back!"

"Don't fucking tempt me sweetheart."

"Leave then," she prodded his chest, barely touching him, "you talk the talk," her finger pointed upwards before it deflated to a limp curve, "but you can't walk the walk."

Why he had ever thought that this redhead was not at her fighting weight, he couldn't say, but that was the absolute fucking limit of his niceness. The absolute fucking limit of his gentlemanly good manners.

Negan grabbed her hard, pulling her to where his mouth could claim hers, lips pressing unrestrained, his tongue unrelenting until he was taking her breath away and all her smart ass attitude with it. His palms slid to the back of her thighs, picking her legs up to wrap around him as he carried her, stumbling in a daze to the potting table where he dropped her down before his lips set out to discover every last freckle on Rae's alabaster skin.

"You can't hold this against me, it's not fucking easy turning you down," he mumbled into her neck as he pushed her jacket from her shoulders. She wanted fucking, he'd fuck her until she couldn't speak or stand and then he'd fuck her once more to make the fuck sure.

/

"Don't talk." Rae didn't need Negan to justify it, or say anything at all, she just wanted to surrender to the promise of mindless bliss.

"Let's get one thing fucking clear baby doll," his hands slid under her shirt, yanking it over her head before his rough touch settling on her waist and his eyes locked with hers, "I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want."

She bit her tongue, her mind on the verge of declaring independence but she wasn't exactly listening to her head.

His smile spread slowly across his face, "it's not gonna be a one time thing between me and you Red. I'm not gonna fuck you and pretend it didn't happen. When my dick is in you and I'm finally getting a taste of your ever fucking evasive sweet side. I can fucking guarantee that I'm gonna want it again, and again and again," he rocked his hips into hers, letting her feel the hard truth of his promise, "so you better fucking decide if you want it too."

Rae pushed at his arms, half appalled by the crude way he was talking and disturbingly aroused, he didn't budge, his devilish smirk beamed even brighter, "you want this, I already fucking know you do baby." His eyes fells to her bra, it wasn't the delicate green lace he'd given her, just plain black cotton but he devoured it like it was agent provocateur, "tell me no and I'll stop."

Negan's ego was just goading Rae to reject him but higher powers were wrapping her hands around the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss and enjoying the way his beard tickled her chin before his tongue sank deep into her mouth, deep enough to curl pulses of heat between her thighs.

"No more cat and mouse bullshit," his lips sank into the tops of her breasts as his thumb scraped away the cotton of her bra, her nipples puckering even tighter in the cold before his tongue licked red hot against it. She let her head fall back, her body trembling with want as he reminded her how good it felt to be touched by another person. "You're mine Red."

"Negan," she moaned, her body a willing slave to the pleasure he was stirring with each touch. She pinched his chin between her fingers to make him look at her, "I'll decide how many times we do this."

Negan smirked, but his eyes got a little harder, he didn't like losing control any more than she wanted to give it up to him. "Baby-"

"Rae!"

The sound of her name filling the air in Tim's accusatory tone splashed cold water all over any heat and reminded her that this home was filled with eyes and no bigger than a postage stamp when you wanted privacy. She could barely turn her head from Negan to lock sights with Tim and the way he was looking at her, not quite pity, not quite hurt, something in the middle that had the power to make her want to shrink as far into the shadows as physically possible.

Tim didn't turn away in embarrassment like she was hoping he would, he stood his ground, his gaze never shifting. "Grandma Ellie wants to talk to you."

Rae took in one breath, glancing at Negan who didn't seem at all fazed, in fact by the way he was smirking she suspected he actually enjoyed being caught.

She covered her bra with her forearm and didn't meet Tim's eye instead looking at his chest, "okay."

He folded his arms without moving to walk away, "right now Rachel."

Rae couldn't remember a time when he'd called her by her name like that, like she was a teenager from his class or someone he had authority over. She sat up a little straighter, this might not have been her most shining moment but she was a grown woman and she made her choices, good and bad. "I got it." She met his eye, he didn't budge, "I said I got it! Could you not just stand there?"

Tim glared at Negan with a fierceness she wasn't sure he was capable of, "fine. I'll be right around the corner."

Rae sighed silently adding feeling 'completely embarrassed' to her long list of the days shitty emotional rollercoaster. Was she embarrassed to have been caught with her top off or because of the man who was wedged between her thighs? She couldn't decide. Maybe a little of both. Negan was attractive, more than attractive, he was the kind of man a woman could eat with a spoon but he was also an asshole as he had demonstrated many times.

Choosing Jacob had cost people their lives. Negan had saved them and that should have been proof enough except it wasn't quite. Jacob had helped her many times, he'd been sweet and kind, sweeter and kinder than Negan was. He'd brought Zuzu candy and found Grandma Ellie a pair of earrings that were almost identical to the ones she'd had as a girl, but in the end all of those things were just a lie, a clever ruse to seduce her into handing over her people. Negan said goody goody bullshit could hide the heart of a serial killer, maybe being an egotistical domineering bastard could hide the heart of a good man? Or maybe you just never knew.

Rae pressed her forehead against Negan's chest, the soft cotton of his shirt and the warmth of his body was a place she could get lost in no matter what kind of heart was beating.

"He's in love with you," Negan said.

A small part of her suspected it, a bigger part ignored it. She glanced at Negan, "you're bad for me."

"But it feels so fucking good, right?"

"I don't know." That was a lie, it felt better than good. She hopped off the potting table and grabbed her t-shirt off of the floor. In the cold light of Tim's reaction the good had competition with the bad, "I don't know what to think." She pulled her shirt on, her stomach churning, her limbs leaden as the events of the day began to sink back into her bones. "I'm tired, I can't think."

"Then sleep," Negan kissed her forehead, "rest, get your strength back and when I return we'll fucking finish what we started here."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Because of prince fucking charming?"

She bit her tongue. Being with Negan was bad for about a million reasons but good in a way that ignored any logical thinking. Either way, good or bad, yes or no, "I make my own decisions, I don't base them on men and what they think."

Negan scooped her jacket off the floor, taking hold of her arm when she reached for it, possessing her like he always did, "what about little Timmy? What you gonna do when that fucker comes knocking at your door?"

Rae snorted before noticing the serious way Negan was looking at her and realising it wasn't a rhetorical question. "Are you jealous?" she blurted.

His smile forced across his face, "I don't get jealous baby… if Timmy thinks he can have you then I'll just beat the everloving crap outta him until he changes his mind."

Because beating the crap out of someone wasn't jealous at all. She wasn't sure what to think of that information, instead she gave Negan a once over and pulled her jacket from his grip, "I hope you're joking."

"You're mine Red and I don't fucking share."

She bit her tongue, instead letting him drape his arm across her shoulder as he walked her to the porch of Grandma's house as Tim lurked in the distance. She was about to put her foot on the bottom step when she hesitated and turned to face him.

"This is it Red, I'll be leaving at first light. Any parting words?"

She just stared, what to say? Thank you, goodbye, something stronger? "Stay out of trouble."

His smile was boyish. The taste of him still lingered on her tongue and despite everything her heart was fluttering in the same way it did when her very first date had dropped her off on these very steps. The feeling was almost forgotten and entirely misplaced after the days events but there it was.

"Red," she savoured the way the pet name rolled from his deep voice like dark chocolate as his hand tugged hers to pull her into his arms. He held her, embracing her like she was a lifesaver and he was a drowning man, his hand raked through her hair in almost painful possession before he kissed her one last time, his voice breathy, his eyes holding onto hers, "you're bad for me too."

That was it, no long goodbye, he turned and she watched him. She watched every single step, catching the way he looked back with that same boyish smile before he slipped through the big gate. She had no idea if she really would see Negan again but watching him leave made her realise that she wanted to. She needed to. His ego might have been bigger than the house and he might have done some questionable things, under normal circumstances unforgivable things, but the way her heart raced and slowed, danced and stopped wasn't a lie.

Rae found Grandma in the sitting room, a pile of knitting in her lap, her fingers working tirelessly like they always did. She hung in the doorway, recalling the way she used to watch her doing the exact same thing when she was a little girl, Grandma had seemed so old then but she must have been no older than Margo. "Tim said you were asking for me," the sound of her voice was almost unnatural in the quiet room.

"Hmmm?" Grandma glanced up from her knitting, her mind a million miles away. Tim had lied. Nobody was looking for her, at least nobody except for him.

"Nevermind," Rae backed out of the living room. She was done for the day, she grabbed the bag she'd brought from her house and headed up the stairs.

She paused at Sarah's door, it was firmly shut and something in Rae pushed her to reach for the handle, twisting it to open before nudging it with the toe of her boot. The sheets were changed, all traces of sickness and Sarah gone. She wondered if Grandma had done it or someone else. All that remained was the silver framed photo of of Zuzu that rested on the dresser.

Rae stepped over the threshold, dropping her bag next to the dresser before she took a seat on the bed. The window was open a crack but enough to make the room feel as cold as the front porch, the smell of cheap pot pourri clung to the air. She let her body flop back to stare at the ceiling that had been Sarah's daily vista for the past few months. The tiptoed sound of sock clad footsteps were the only sound before the door creaked open a little wider. Rae turned her head, looking through the metal bars at the foot of the bed to see Zuzu in her pajamas with Fuzzy Bear tucked under one arm.

Rae chanced half a smile and spread her arm across the mattress as invitation. Without a word Zuzu took it, bounding over until she was curled into the crook of Rae's arm with Fuzzy Bear between them. She stared at the top of Zuzu's head and sighed, letting go of the weight of the day. Tonight she wouldn't be alone and Zuzu was the far safer option because no matter how her heart beat for Negan he was nothing but trouble with a barbed wire bat.

A/N- Thank you for reading. I had a mixed response over how people saw things progressing but I hope you all enjoyed it anyway xoxo