Warning: Umm, so, yeah, this isn't fluffy… just a little 'for your information'.
Of all the outcomes Detective Jane Rizzoli had theorized, this was not one she'd seen coming. Yeah, okay, so maybe she'd been a tiny bit reckless on their latest bust. But in all honesty, who wouldn't have thrown themselves in front of a bullet for a kid? That's right: no one. It was the smart decision; the only decision.
Apparently that didn't mean enough to some people. But that's just the thing. If anyone could've understood why she did what she did, she would have sworn up and down that it would be Maura. At least, up until four days ago, when they'd still been married and happy, but most importantly, together.
Guess you never really know someone, no matter how much you believe you do.
She had to give the doctor props though, her lawyers knew how to draw up divorce papers in no time. Or maybe they'd been locked away since the wedding, slowly gathering dust until duty called. Maybe Maura'd always known that this would be how it would end: with her walking away. Because everyone and their mother knew that there was no way in hell Jane would ever walk away from her. No, Doctor Isles was doing the leaving.
Even though she'd promised to be there, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Jane thought she knew what she was getting into, saying vows with a cop. Jane has to hand it to her, though, it takes real gall to serve divorce papers with the divorcee still in a hospital bed. Maura was lucky Jane was left-handed, or she'd have to wait until her right shoulder healed enough to sign her name.
Maybe Maura wasn't the only one who saw this coming. It would explain Jane's non-reaction throughout the whole ordeal. Like she knew this was a fleeting dream and any moment she'd wake up only to fond memories and no real future. Maybe they were doomed from the start. But they'd been in love, the purest form of love, and Jane had hoped it would be enough. It was. For her, not for Maura.
Or maybe it was simply the cocktail of painkillers flowing through her veins, removing her from the emotional implosion temporarily. Jane was starting to realize that there were a whole lot of maybes. She glanced at the clock, stunned at the fact that she only had five minutes left. Maura had been in an hour ago with the papers, calmly explaining her reasons and thoughts. After half an hour of words pouring out of the doctor's mouth, delivered with a clinical coldness Jane hadn't heard in years, she'd stopped Maura mid-sentence with a soft raise of her hand.
"Can you go get a coffee or something and come back in half an hour? I just need some time," she'd asked and Maura had nodded tightly, and was out the door mere seconds later. Already they were too polite, too formal; overcompensating.
The door opened and Maura re-entered the ward. Jane didn't want to prolong any of it, but she still had something she needed to know.
"I just need you to answer two questions, Maur," and she paused until the doctor nodded her acquiescence. The heart rate monitor echoed Jane's deep breath. "First, Maura Dorothea Isles, is this what you want?" Automatically a scowl graced Maura's face and her lips parted to spew indignity. Jane shook her head. "I need to know that this is all you. If you're doing this for your family or for some Goddamn noble reason or something, I just want to know. Frankly, I think I deserve to know."
"I told you, Jane, I can't do it anymore. I can't be with you anymore."
Jane nodded silently, thoughtfully; now for the real question. "Was any of this real for you? Did you ever actually love me?"
Maura's mouth dropped open in shock, a crack in her demeanour showing the hurt in her eyes. She took an involuntary step forward. "Jane – I – Of course I loved you."
And with that, Jane picked up the pen and made her mark, eyes now refusing to look at her soon to be ex-wife. "I'm sorry it wasn't enough," and she thrust the papers back into Maura's hands, gesturing for her to leave as she did so.
During her exit is the only time Jane saw Maura hesitate.
Sometimes, Jane thought, Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them. She tapped her pain pump and drifted away on a sea of morphine.
[If you recognize the quote, it's courtesy of John Green's "The Fault in Our Stars". A brilliant book, by the way, I highly recommend it.]