A/N: Just a reminder that I do not own OUAT or its characters. Also thanks to everyone who has been following this story. I think it will be wrapped up soon (maybe three more chapters). This chapter is a long one for you.
Whale watched the monitor as the MRI continued to scan Regina's brain. He had her put in the machine early – before the hallucinations began. He needed to see the moment they took hold in her brain and began firing off her synapses. If he could see which parts of her brain activated first and in what pattern it could be key to unlocking his research.
His only regret with this was not being able to scientifically study her magic and how it interacted with her body's cells, but he couldn't risk her using it to get free.
As it was he was a little nervous about not being able to run the electric current through her during the MRI but she was practically in a coma with how much sedation she was under.
While there hadn't been any hallucinations yet, there had been some spiking of brain activity similar to what he had observed in her last couple MRIs, but not nearly to that scale.
He had to get back downstairs to make his rounds but Lila, who had recruited a couple of other loyal staff members with a grudge against the former queen, was under orders to get him as soon as the hallucinations started.
…
Emma knew she needed to get more sleep, but as long as Regina was missing she couldn't. She had grabbed a few hours last night but even now she felt like she could fall asleep standing up. Her whole body felt weird like it was heavy with sleep.
Regina had now been missing a week and she was no closer to figuring out where she was and it was driving her insane.
The only person she even believed capable of making Regina disappear so effectively was Gold, but she had nothing to go on there. Henry was looking to her find Regina and she felt like she was letting him down yet again.
A couple of days ago she thought she had been coming down with the flu as she felt achy and chilly, but it seemed to pass. Her not getting sick was the one thing that seemed to go right.
She stood up from her desk to get a coffee and again felt a wave of sleepiness engulf her. She shook it off and went in search of caffeine.
As Emma poured a cup of coffee she thought she saw someone at the edge of her peripheral vision. She turned so fast she almost dropped her cup but there was no one there. Still she stood there a moment. Once she no longer felt like there was someone there she walked back to her office but as she neared it, it happened again except this time she saw it – him clearer. It was an older guy, dressed like he was from the Enchanted Forest. He was wearing what she assumed was nice clothes for that world – but he looked sad.
It was only a glimpse of him but he was there for that second.
This time she put her cup down on her desk, grabbed her jacket and left.
…
Regina walked through her castle. It was completely empty and she felt like she had been wandering through if for days. Her mind told her she was looking for something or someone but she couldn't seem to remember what.
She entered the throne room and saw a man standing next to it holding a crown – her crown.
"Father?" she said as she moved closer. "Is that you?"
Once she was sure it was him, she threw herself into his arms, hugging him. "I've missed you," she said.
"I've missed you too," he said before they pulled apart.
She looked down at the crown he was still holding in his hand and then looked around the room. "What is going on? Where is everyone?" she asked.
She realized she didn't know what was happening. She looked down at herself – she was wearing the same clothes she had been the day she met Snow White. Snow, she thought, closing her eyes – images flooded through her mind.
"Storybrooke," she said as she opened them. "Why am I here, I should be in Storybrooke." She backed away from him. "And you should be …"
"Dead," he said bluntly. "I know. I know this is confusing for you my daughter."
"I don't understand," she said moving backward more, but he stepped forward.
"I kept your crown safe for you," he said holding it out to her.
"I don't want it. I never wanted it."
"I know," he said looking sad. "I know you didn't want this life."
"Then why? Why did you let her do this to me? Why didn't you stop her? You never stopped her."
Henry stepped back looking even sadder and Regina felt bad for her accusatory words.
"Please," he said. "Come sit with me Regina."
They sat down on the steps leading up to the throne. He put the crown down and took one of her hands in his. "I should have done more."
"No," she said. "This isn't your fault. Without you my entire childhood and when all of this happened – me being queen, I couldn't have made it through without you."
"Yes, but you shouldn't have had to deal with it all."
"You knew?" she asked. "Did you know what mother did to me?"
"Not at first, but yes, she told me not longer after."
She turned away from him, willing herself not to cry.
"Regina, I am sorry. You were … you had the fever and children they don't survive usually. I couldn't lose you so yes when your mother returned with Rumpelstiltskin I let them do whatever it took to save you. After that it was difficult for me to stand in her way. I let them do that to you because I couldn't bear to lose my little girl. All of the rest of it, what happened it was just as much my fault as your mother's."
"No!" she said standing. "It wasn't your fault. Your intentions were good; you only wanted to save me. But she …"
Her mind flashed again, this time she thought she saw white – maybe the inside of something that curved. She lost the ability to hear for a moment and felt tired suddenly. Her father put a steadying hand on her and guided her back down.
By the time she had regained her senses, she realized he had put the crown in her hands.
"I don't want this," she said. "Why do you even have it?"
"Things are going to happen to you my daughter – you are standing a crossroads, very much like I was when you got sick. I chose the path that saved your life but led you on to a destiny you never wanted. When you decided to cast your curse, you needed my heart to do it and I gave it freely because I needed to give you the chance to change your destiny into something you wanted. I helped steal your destiny, it was the least I could do. Now it's up to you to decide what you want in life."
"It's not this," she said holding up the crown.
"Then get rid of it."
She smiled at him and then threw it as far as she could across the room. It bounced and skidded down the floor before coming to a stop under a foot. She stood looked at her father, but he was gone.
The figure bent down, picked up the crown and began walking toward her.
"Honestly, if I had let him have his way, you wouldn't have amounted to anything," Cora said.
…
Emma had called her parents to meet her at Granny's and Tink brought Henry over. She entered and they were already there with Ruby and Granny.
"Regina isn't just missing, she is sick again," Emma blurted out as soon as she entered.
"The Skiver Fever again?" Tink asked.
"Yes, I don't know why it took me this long to figure it out. I have felt odd for days, but I thought it was because I was overly tired or coming down with the flu. Then I was at the station and I kept seeing something, and that was when I realized it wasn't me – it was Regina. The same thing happened the first time she was sick."
"What do you mean the same thing happened the first time she was sick?" Charming asked.
Emma realized then that she hadn't told her parents about her connection to Regina. No one knew besides Tink. She saw all these faces staring at her and she wasn't even sure how to start to explain it. She looked at Tink who was clearly waiting for her to say that she and Regina were true loves. But this wasn't a step Emma had really thought about it.
"Um, you see when Regina got sick the first time, I um …"
"Regina's light magic went off when she was in the hospital," Tink said. "She was unconscious or close enough to it that she didn't know she was doing it and somehow it connected with Emma's magic and well Emma began to have small feelings of things which were in fact what Regina was experiencing, isn't that right?"
Emma gave her a grateful look, "Yes. When she started to hallucinate the first time I kept seeing things like people in my peripheral vision. They were just quick glimpses. It happened again at the station today. I saw a man who was dressed in clothes like in the Enchanted Forest."
"What did he look like?" Granny asked.
She gave a quick description.
"That is Regina's father," Snow said.
"See, it has to be her. She is sick again."
"If it is mom and she is hallucinating it means this is the next to the last stage," Henry said.
"We're going to find her," Emma said, although she was still unsure how they were going to find her.
"How does any of this help us find her?" Charming asked. "If you can sense things she is sensing, does that mean you can sense where she is at?"
"I don't think so," Emma said. "It's not like I have control over it."
"Have you tried, to control it I mean?" Tink asked.
Emma shook her head. The thought hadn't occurred to her that she could somehow control it. She had been so excited at figuring out that Regina was at least alive that she hadn't really thought about how her connection with her could be helpful in finding her. She wasn't very adept at her magic. It wasn't something she wanted to rely on too much.
She finally took a seat at one of the tables feeling weary. Her adrenaline was wearing off.
She looked at Henry knowing he was relying on her to find his mom.
"I can try," Emma said finally.
…
Whale had the computer recording all of the MRI readings. Regina brain was lighting up like a Christmas tree. It had started at the brain stem and began to branch out and up. He considered the significance of this. It suggested that there was a connection to her central nervous system yet the spinal tap he had performed on her when she was originally sick hadn't turned up anything unusual. He may have to do another and of course when she was dead he could perform an invasive autopsy. He could literally open up her spine to see if there was anything to discover.
He thought it odd that the two most concentrated areas of the brain that appeared to be active were those associated with memory and with dreams. The dreams made sense because she was hallucinating, but he wondered about the memory. He conjectured that if a brain could be used to reanimate a person that memory would be a key component – they would need to remember they were human and not a monster.
He was tempted to give her the cure now and perform a spinal tap, then infect her again for another round of tests.
But he wanted it go on longer, at least until she suffered through a few broken bones.
….
"Mother," Regina said standing. Cora had always insisted on Regina rising when she entered a room out of respect her mother had said. It was a habit that came back to her suddenly seeing her mom walking toward her.
"Your crown," Cora said holding it out to her.
"I don't want it," Regina said.
"You will take it. After all I did for you to get it, you will be grateful," she said, still holding it out.
"No," Regina said backing up.
Cora smiled at her and sat the crown down on the throne for the moment. She stepped closer to Regina, who wanted nothing more than to run from this room.
"Come here my daughter," Cora said holding out her hand this time.
She didn't want to take it, but she also didn't want her mother thinking she was afraid to so she took it. Her mother sat down with her much like she had with her father moments before.
"Regina, you were born to be queen, you know that right?"
"It's not what I want."
"Sometimes we don't get to do what we want. Sometimes we do the things we have to do."
"I don't have to do this," Regina said.
"It's your destiny."
Regina stood and backed away from her. "No. It isn't my destiny, or at least it wasn't supposed to be. You let that monster Rumpelstiltskin do this to me, why? I was a child, how could you? Did you ever once look at me and think there is my daughter, not there is this tool I can use to get what I want?"
"You were a child who was dying," Cora said. "If I hadn't have interceded you would have died."
"You don't know that. I could have been one of the kids who survived."
This time Cora turned from her. "You wouldn't have," she said softly. "You would have died Regina and that is the truth of the matter. What was I supposed to do? Should I have sat there with your father and watched as your bones broke? Should I have ignored your screams as the pain became too much for your small body? Tell me since you are such a good mother, what would you have done if that were Henry?"
Regina didn't have an answer and her mother knew it. She knew that Regina would have done anything to save Henry, even if it meant making a deal with Rumpelstiltskin.
"You killed Daniel," she said. It wasn't what she had meant to say exactly. But then there it was out there between them. "I loved him mom. I loved him so much and he was my true love but you couldn't let me have that could you?"
"If you had been allowed to remain on that path, you would have run off with Daniel and you wouldn't have done anything remarkable in your life. Love is meaningless when you have power."
"I didn't want the power! That was your dream, not mine. You helped shape me into this … this thing that … I killed people, I tortured them, I destroyed lives, is that what you really wanted for me?"
"I wanted you to have power. Remember, you are the one who chose what to do with it. I wasn't even around thanks to you."
...
Everyone was trying to be quiet around her, but Emma could still hear them as she closed her eyes. She thought about what Regina had taught her about her magic and about concentrating and using her emotions. But her mind was filled with doubt. If this didn't work she didn't know what to try next. They had discussed options before deciding it wouldn't hurt for Emma to try to locate Regina with her magic.
The truth was Regina being sick didn't really help tell them where she was.
She thought about that night she found Regina in the stables. She realized now that the feeling she should go there was most likely because of her magical connection with Regina. So why hadn't she felt any overwhelming urge to go someplace this time? Why wasn't Regina's magic calling out to her? She was sure it had been Regina's magic, not hers. Now she wondered if she could get her magic to work that way.
She knew the doubt she was feeling was only going to make it harder. Instead she tried to push it down deep in side her and instead concentrate on Regina. She thought about the first time she met her, and how despite the friction between them she found she was physically attracted to her. Her mind fast forwarded to Regina in the mine with the failsafe device and how she was prepared to make that sacrifice. Then on to Neverland and her never wavering concern and love for Henry which showed Emma how big Regina's heart truly was.
Emma thought about that night in the stables and how it felt when Regina's lips touched hers. It wasn't like anything Emma had experienced before. Even when her love for Henry had broken the curse that was another kind of love. That moment in the stables she knew that not only had their souls touched, a part of Regina was forever stamped upon her inner being.
She concentrated on it and felt the magic flow through her body. She kept her eyes closed, willing her magic to travel out of her and seek out the part of her own soul she had left with Regina.
…
"You had to right no choose my destiny for me," Regina challenged her mother.
"The destiny I chose was much better than the one you would have had for yourself if I had left it alone. Like I said, you should be grateful," Cora said and she retrieved the crown from where she left it. She again held it out for Regina. "Take your crown. Take your throne."
"Never," Regina said. She was about to say more, but she felt something. She looked around the room as if expecting there to be someone else there. She walked past her mother, completely ignoring her, and continued to look. There was someone there, she knew it, she felt it and it felt familiar but she was having trouble figuring out why.
There was definitely a presence nearby.
She looked around one more time hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever it was, but there was no one there – at least not physically.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and whirled around expecting to finally catch that person, but instead it was her mother.
"We're not done yet," Cora said.
"Yes we are," she said using her magic to push her mother away from her. She spun around and headed to the door. Maybe the presence wasn't in this room, she thought, maybe if she looked harder she could find it. Something inside her was screaming that she needed to find it – find her. For she could feel that it was a woman, but her mind wasn't able to process anything more than that. She felt odd and as she left the room, she found she was standing instead in a street.
Regina looked all around trying to figure out what was happening. The buildings, the clock tower, she knew this place. Yes, she thought, this is Storybrooke.
She rubbed her temples trying to will her mind to start working right. There was something wrong about all of this.
She began walking hoping she could find this woman.
She neared the park and saw Henry taking practice swings with his baseball bat. She smiled thinking how Henry had wanted to play summer baseball. Regina looked over and saw who was throwing the pitches.
It was Emma.
She continued to watch as Emma worked with Henry on his technique until he was consistently hitting the ball. She never made a move to get closer to either of them, and neither of them acknowledged her presence.
"They are happy," a voice said behind and her said "yes," not looking to see who it was, but then a limping figure with a cane stood beside her.
"You know I can't let you join them," Gold said to her.
"Why not?"
"Think Regina."
She had been trying to think but found it difficult. She felt like her brain was stuck in pudding and there was no way to clean it all off to get a clear thought going.
"That is where I belong," she said taking a step toward Henry and Emma, ready to call out to them. But Gold grabbed her arm.
"I am sorry my dearie, but your destiny belongs to me. Your mother gave it to me. And until the day you die it will belong to me."
She tore free from him. "My destiny is my own. I made no deal with you concerning it and you will not keep me from it again."
"I will. You can't stop me Regina. You've never had it in you to stop me. You are nothing more than a puppet I use whenever it pleases me. Even now I can tell you are getting angry. Anger is good. Anger fuels your magic better than any emotion out there. Give into it Regina."
She was angry, angry at him most of all. There was a fireball in her hand before she even realized she had done the magic. She stared at it a moment, the concentrated flame writhing in her hand, begging to be released. It would be so easy to do it too. It was always easy.
She looked up though at Henry and Emma. They had gathered up their stuff and were walking out of the park. Emma had her arm around Henry as they made their way farther from Regina. As she saw this, Regina extinguished the flame and looked at Gold.
"You won't stop me," she said. This time she let her light magic envelop her, so that Gold knew she wasn't without protection from him.
Then she turned and left, walking off to find Emma and Henry once more.
…
Whale and his staff were caught off guard when they saw the white magic envelop Regina's hand. It didn't appear to be doing anything but there it was. The light got brighter and then disappeared entirely. As it did, Regina gasped and opened her eyes.
"Get in there and sedate her," he ordered Lila. His nurse ran in there as Regina was trying to sit up but the straps kept her down.
"No," Regina said as Lila made ready to inject her. She struggled more, but in the end she got the needle into Regina's arm and several moments passed as the sedative took hold in her.
She raised her head up, and if was possible, Whale would have said she looked right at him even though they weren't in the same room. Regina's eyes closed though and her head collapsed back down.
He was going to have to put her back in the room and get the electric current going through her again to prevent more magic. He didn't know what if anything that light magic had done, but he couldn't take any chances.
…
Inside Granny's diner Emma had continued to sit there. She was feeling Regina. Her true love was somewhere not too far away. She felt Regina's confusion, her uncertainty, her fear and her anger. She wanted to be able to wrap her arms around her and tell her it was all going to be ok. She tried to convey the thought to Regina that she was nearby and she was going to find her, but she couldn't tell if Regina was getting the message.
Emma couldn't see anything.
But she could feel. She felt like she – no Regina was lying down in a way she couldn't get up. Regina was tired and yes sick. Her body ached and mind felt like it was in turmoil. Her hearing was muted like something was blocking her ears. She could make out the faint sound of something that sounded maybe like a machine.
Emma couldn't do anything to help her and she felt her own despair sinking in and felt like she was losing the connection. She concentrated harder and then it happened – she felt Regina's magic surge. All her senses became clear suddenly and then she didn't know what happened but she thought maybe Regina opened her eyes because Emma could now see – rather she could see what Regina was seeing. It lasted only two second.
Emma opened her eyes with a gasp.
"Did it work?" Henry asked.
Emma felt disoriented for a moment, and then focused.
"Yes," she said. "I know where she is at."