Hello, its been a while since my last update! I've just been busy doing a bit of travelling. I was lucky enough to spend weekends in Rome and in Dublin and in between that I've just been busy with life and Negan Smut Week. I won't ever abandon this story, I love it too much! I hope you all enjoy this extra long instalment! xoxo

Negan waited downstairs while Rae changed into the clean shirt she'd found hung up in the wardrobe. It would have been the perfect opportunity for him to offer her a helping hand but the dead man with his head caved in ruined the mood more than just a little bit. So he waited, patiently, and when she hopped down the stairs with her hair scraped into a messy bun and a psychedelic shirt that came up three sizes too big his throat was suddenly dry. He shifted from foot to foot trying to think of something smart to say before simply blurting, "you look nice."

Rae did a double take, her brow creasing with suspicion before she looked at her shirt and laughed, "thanks, I guess."

Shit. Negan cleared his throat, mentally moving the subject swiftly on. He didn't compliment women, at least not their clothes. He praised them for how tight their pussy was or how great they were at sucking his dick. He didn't tell them that with their hair tied up their ivory skin looked as soft as satin or anything as pathetic as that. "So where do you wanna go princess?"

"I dunno," she shrugged, her fingers worrying the hem of her shirt, "where do you wanna go?"

With no money to think about and no long lines you'd imagine the world would be your oyster but it wasn't like that and Negan felt fresh out of good ideas. All he could do was smile and feel the way his heart was thudding with what were certainly nerves. Jesus, even his palms were sweating, he needed to grab the bull by the horns here. "Why do I feel like this is our first date?" he laughed, trying honesty on for size.

"Because we hardly know each other," she said a little too fast and he couldn't help but think of Timmy. It pissed him off, god he hated that fucker and even the mere mention of his name.

"So let's get to know each other Red. I mean, that is what I fucking came here to do," he stepped closer to her, his hands bunched into her ugly shirt to pull her towards him, "I wanna know you a whole lot better, inside and out."

A small smile quirked at her lips and a blush graced her cheeks as she tugged her shirt from his fingers with the slightest nod that told him she wanted the same thing. He followed Rae out of the kitchen door, grabbing Lucille, the box of Trojans ferreted away in his pockets. Truthfully he didn't care where they went as long as it ended somewhere that had a nice soft landing for when he threw her down like he'd pictured doing everyday since he'd met her.

Rae glanced over her shoulder before they reached the car, her eyes looking past him to the little town. "Me and Tim can come back here tomorrow," she said more to herself than to him but the very idea stopped Negan in his tracks and it wasn't just because the sound of Timmy's name made his stomach turn with the kind of rage that got Lucille thirsty.

He turned to face the street. There were a couple of roamers that had appeared since they'd cleared the road, behind doors and windows he could see a few more. The notion of Rae being here with Timmy watching her back made his blood run like ice. It had been so easy for her to be grabbed my a dead man, a split second of distraction and suddenly the only thing keeping her alive was the thickness of her coat. He had the urge to hold her again, pick her up and take her all the way home with him. Instead he began marching in long strides towards the ambling dead, "fuck that, let's just check out the rest of the houses right now."

"You're kidding me?" she called, "I thought all work and no play wasn't healthy?"

Negan swung Lucille to crack the first skull, "letting you loose with Timmy isn't exactly fucking healthy either."

He knew that no matter what he said or did there was no way she would ever sit tight on the farm and out of danger. He could only pray they found a store of food in this one horse town that meant she could hold off scavenging long enough for him to donate some supplies. The amount he was wanting to give her was getting larger with each passing thought as he bust open a door to the next house and he felt her following behind, his mind racing at the possibility of some danger lurking to snatch her away.

When they were finally loading up the car with the last of the supplies and the town was officially cleared it was already getting late, but he didn't regret it. Scavenging with Rae wasn't like doing it with Simon, not only did he get a nice view to watch but he liked talking to someone who wasn't afraid of him and who laughed at his jokes when they were good or called him out when they were bad. Fucking hell, he liked this woman so much when she wasn't fucking him that the idea of actually having her for real was making him all kinds of crazy.

/

Negan had been different while they'd been searching the houses. He'd babied her like she was made of glass but it was more than that. They'd talked like it was a normal day and they were meeting for coffee rather than rummaging through drawers and killing halfers. Rae had found herself telling him about the pet goldfish she'd had when she was eight, the first time she'd ever been paid to play piano professionally, an old boyfriend who'd convinced her to try her first cigarette and a bunch of other stories.

He slammed the hood of the trunk closed and she took a lean against it, her arms crossed as she watched his smile become a little more devilish, the twinkle in his eye a little more of what she was used to. Her heart thudded, she liked his nice side when it shined through his dark exterior but the wild side was what made her think about Negan when the lights were out.

"So…" he began, his smile now at full power, "what's your favorite and least favorite part of your body?"

Rae choked out a laugh, glancing away from him while she considered her options. She could ignore him, call him obnoxious like he so rightly was but she didn't. She stretched out her leg, the heel of her boot resting against the tarmac and admitted, "I hate my clown feet."

Negan laughed, a deep belly laugh that bristled her temper as he took a lean besides her, his foot coming to rest against hers, dwarfing it enough to make her feel dainty. It was strangely nice. Even nicer was the press of his arm snug against hers as they leaned on the car side by side. She cocked her head to look at him, she didn't think she could feel this way about Negan but despite it all she had butterflies taking flight in her tummy and she wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her.

"Favourite part?" he crooned, in the way that only Negan could, the way that made her feel like it could be just the two of them in this world.

She licked her lips. His eyes were fixed firmly on her face, waiting, she was sure he was hoping she'd say something outrageous but instead she held out her hand, "long fingers."

Negan took her hand in his and her heart stopped as he brushed his lips over her knuckles, "you'll play for me Red?"

"Yes," her heart began to thud again, in fact it raced until she was dizzy, completely intoxicated with Negan. "It's you're turn," she said, forcing the words out in a whisper that would have been inaudible if he wasn't standing so close, "favourite and least favourite…"

"You tell me baby." He leaned back, with raised eyebrows. "What's your favourite part…" his hand rested on his thigh, dangerously close to his crotch. Of course she had never seen that part but that didn't mean she wasn't staring. Suddenly her throat was dry and when she dared to look at him he was grinning.

Rae straightened her back, she was a big girl, she wasn't going to swoon over a boy no matter how tall dark and handsome he was, or how much he made her laugh. "Well… it's certainly not your ego or your potty mouth."

"A lotta girls like my dirty mouth."

She felt her cheeks heat, and a pang of jealousy cried out, 'what girls?' as she narrowed her eyes at him, "you must be pleased."

"Every-fucking-day sweetheart," he stepped towards her, "but I'm still waiting. Favourite part?"

Rae bit her tongue and he held her gaze in a standoff until she decided, "I suppose you have nice... teeth."

"All the better to eat you with Red," he snarled, pulling her hair to expose the length of her neck and the trail of skin that ran all the way into the V of her shirt. She could feel her chest start to heave, waiting for his touch, his lips, anything. When his fingers brushed her skin it was at her jawline, a featherlight touch tracing the little scar that lived there courtesy of an old boyfriend.

"Where'd you get that?" he said and she pulled her head away.

"Nowhere."

"Now there's a loaded answer."

"Well…" she wasn't prepared to tell him another story of a relationship gone bad, her eyes landed on the bat he called Lucille with tenderness that made the wood seem alive. "Where'd you get that?"

A flash of something crossed his face before he laughed it off. "Lets call it nowhere, eh baby doll?" he decided as he ended the conversation by slipping into the car without looking back.

Rae hadn't really thought about the bat much before, she'd only mentioned it because it was there to mention but watching his reaction made her wonder. Not enough to say anything as she took the driver's seat but enough to look at him every now and again and realise Negan had asked about her but he still never said much about himself. So she drove him to the only place in the world she could think of besides Grandma's house, her apartment, and when she was opening the first door it was getting dark enough for this to be a bad idea but she was old enough not to care. She was surprised he hadn't made a comment about coffee or anything suggestive but the entire care journey he'd been withdrawn, watching the world go by without moving a muscle.

Her apartment was just as they'd left it. Rae let Negan shut the front door before she walked to the living room and took a seat at the piano. Her hand rested on the wood that covered the keys and she didn't dare open it, she hadn't played in a long time, not even the piano in Grandma's house. It just didn't feel like the thing to do anymore.

/

Negan watched Rae sitting at the piano like the world might crack in two if she made a sound and he knew the feeling. He sat next to her on the stool that was just about big enough for two, settled his hand on her thigh and told her what he'd never told anyone, "Lucille was my wife."

Rae didn't say anything, the words sank into the silence of the room like a bad smell.

"She wasn't bit. She just died, cancer. It was slow and then she was gone. When I came out of that hospital room the world was fucked, I had no fucking idea. I spent months just drifting around watching stupid fuckers getting torn apart by the dead while I survived. For a long time I had no one to talk to but Lucille. She was the only one I could trust. " That's how it had stayed, until now.

Rae's bottle green eyes were soft with pity when she looked at him. "I'm sorry about your wife," she said like she'd probably said a hundred times to every other fucker who'd lost a loved one.

Negan's laugh was forced, pained, he was regretting telling her as much as he was finding it a relief. "I thought you didn't wanna be sorry about people dying Red, don't go fucking soft on me now."

"I decide what I wanna feel," her hand wrapped in his, her thumb brushing over his knuckle, "or maybe I don't."

When it came to Rae he knew the feeling, being with her made him feel things that he wasn't ready to admit.

"I'm sorry that happened to you and Lucille. But…" she hesitated, her eyes fell to the floor and he missed the sight of them even if they were filled with pity.

"But what?" she probably thought he was pathetic, naming a bat after his wife and talking to the fucking thing. "You better spit it the fuck out into the open Red."

"It's just... I'm glad you're here with me."

Nobody was ever glad about his existence these days, most people wanted him dead or worse. He just stared at her letting the words soak in.

"Is that wrong?"

Lucille was dead and Rae was right here, flesh and blood, red hair and long legs. Negan felt glad it was her, "what isn't fucked up nowadays?"

Her fingers brushed through his stubble, "I just don't want this to be fucked up."

Negan pressed his forehead against Rae's. He was going to fuck things up, it was only a matter of time, "I don't deserve you Red."

But that didn't matter because she kissed him. Her lips were soft and giving, opening up in surrender for whatever he had planned. Her body pressed against his felt so right that he couldn't stop to tell her just how bad he was or how much he didn't deserve her because he was a selfish fuck. He needed her and he needed this. When it came to everyone else then he'd figure something out if it killed him.

/

Rae sank against Negan, her head tilting back as his lips explored her skin, kissing and sucking her neck in the way that made her tingle like crazy. She sighed his name, the sound of it a catalyst for him to kiss her lips again but this time more firm, more hungry as stumbled footsteps guided them to her bedroom. He ripped open the buttons of her shirt, pulling it from her shoulders before they fell on the bed in a tangle of limbs and hot kisses, grasping for each other like a lifeline.

Negan devoured her, his lips were hot wet brands chased by the tickle of his beard as her stomach began to curl with heat that tingled in all the right places. He paused only to brush his thumb along the raised scar leftover from the injury that had brought her to him. When he kissed it, his words were a murmur against her skin, "this is the only fucking time I'll be glad you were hurt."

Negan looked at her, his eyes serious despite his heavy breaths, "you know that Red?"

Rae nodded, she believed it, if she didn't then they wouldn't be here like this and she wouldn't be feeling the way she was feeling when they were together.

Negan kissed the scar one last time before popping open the buttons of his own shirt. Her throat was dry as she gazed along his torso all the way down to where his jeans hung low on his hips, low enough for her to spy the trail of hair that crept into his waistband. She let out the breath she was holding, her skin tingling to feel his pressed against hers. When he reached underneath her body she arched her back enjoying the rough feel of his fingers as he tugged her bra clasp free.

Rae didn't feel nervous for him to see her, she enjoyed the way Negan's breathing deepened as he pulled her bra away, the way his eyes glazed with desire before he kissed her nipple with a featherlight touch that made her whimper. He chuckled, his laugh deep and sultry as he took her nipple more firmly in his lips. His tongue swirled around the outside enough to make her moan before he sucked hard, the pleasure tingling all the way to where she pulsed for his attention. She didn't know how long she could last when she felt like this, like every nerve ending was heightened and every inch of skin painfully untouched.

"You're beautiful," he told her, his fingers caressing her skin from freckle to freckle and she believed him, the way he looked at her made her feel like she was the most desirable woman on the planet and butterflies joined the heat in her stomach, dancing in the flames.

She bit her lip as he began to slide her belt through the buckle, the idea of him removing the last of her clothes was exciting, she could hardly believe that this was happening and how much she wanted it. She hadn't thought she'd want this again after Jacob but it felt right with Negan who began laughing softly as he realised her weapons were still flanking her hips like any good survivor.

"I better disarm you before that temper of yours gets any fucking ideas," he teased, his tongue dipping into her belly button before he began slip her knife and glock from her belt and onto the nightstand.

Then his long fingers hooked into the waistband of her jeans and panties before easing them along her legs to the floor, leaving her completely bare. Rae trembled, even the heat of excitement was struggling to keep her warm in the cold of a frosted day but as his hand slipped between her thighs she found herself trembling for a different reason and suddenly nothing else mattered.

She bucked her hips, urging him to give her more as her breathing deepened, her body relaxing to feel nothing but what Negan would do next. He kneeled between her thighs, towering over her as his finger slipped between her wet folds, finding the right spot and stroking over and over until she thought she would burst, her hands bunching into the sheets, her breathing ragged.

"Slow down Red," Negan crooned, his satisfied smile taking pride in how he was affecting her before he sank from kneeling on the bed to kneeling on the floor, his hands cupping her ass to bring her towards where his mouth was waiting to taste her.

She panted, catching her breath, her body filled with desperation as he began to lick along her thighs, driving her wild enough to beg, "please Negan." Her desire to be touched was so overwhelming that she slipped her hand along her stomach wanting to relieve some of the mounting pressure but Negan stopped her, pinning her wrist to the bed before she could do anything more than groan in frustration.

"Listening to you say my name like that is too fucking good," he taunted, his nose brushing along her sex, her body quivering with a prelude to an orgasm. "Tell me you want me Red," he said and she couldn't think of anything she wanted more.

"I want you. Please."

"Say my name again baby."

He was killing her in the best way and she was his willing victim. "Negan, please," she whimpered, barely recognising her own voice.

"Mmm," he groaned in satisfaction before giving her what she wanted. His tongue was hot, wet and deliciously soft as he began to lick in slow circles, sliding one finger inside without resistance to add to the pleasure that was consuming her like wildfire. Her body raced past the point of slowing down, his finger joined by a second, brushing and stretching, his tongue in perfect rhythm as she begged "don't stop. Please don't stop." When her orgasm toppled over the edge it was like a powder keg lit by the flames, it shook her whole body in one explosion of toe curling waves as she panted his name and arched from the bed to enjoy every last sensation.

She floated down from her high with Negan still between her thighs, gently stroking her aftershocks until he crawled along her body, his kisses drawing a path to her lips where his tongue sank deep into her mouth taking her breath away before he asked, "was that good baby?"

Rae didn't need to answer, the way she'd cried out his name had been proof of how good it had been and he could barely even form the word yes in her haze.

Negan lay on the bed next to her and she rolled onto her side, desire pushing away all sleepy feelings as her fingers tip toed along his stomach until they were tangled in his belt buckle. She eased it open, slipping her hand in his boxers excited to feel what had been straining against his zipper every time they had kissed.

Negan shuddered when she touched him, it was his turn to be desperate and even if she was still tingling from her climax the feel of his thick length was already making her tingle for more.

When Negan's clothes were a pile on the floor next to hers she kissed his chest, inspecting his tattoos and nuzzling her nose against the soft hairs to breath in the smell of him. It was a smell that was starting to make her feel like she was home, like he was safety and she couldn't get enough of it.

She settled her body between his legs, blowing on his end and licking her lips to tease him before she said, "tell me how much you want me."

"Fucking hell baby, I've wanted you from the first fucking time I saw you."

She smiled, the look on his face was so vulnerable, like he'd do anything for her mouth and she couldn't wait any longer. She couldn't tease him anymore, she had to taste him, she wanted him to feel how he'd made her feel. Rae licked his whole length before her lips wrapped around the end gently sucking as Negan's hand bunched into her hair with a strangled moan.

She enjoyed making him writhe and whine, his length pulsing as he thrust into her mouth, unable to resist how good it was feeling. "Jesus fuck Red," he groaned, pulling her hair to stop things ending too quickly.

He shifted, sitting up to pull her into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist as he kissed her, grinding his wet tip against her entrance, "you ready for more baby?" he said before sucking her nipple, his hand reaching down to feel how wet she was before he licked the arousal from his finger with a devilish smile and flipped her onto her back.

His dick pressed into her thigh as he reached off the bed to grab his jeans and pull out a condom from the pocket. "Remember what I said?" he asked as he kneeled between her thighs, ripping open the foil and rolling the condom into place.

"What?" she whispered, barely taking her eyes of what he was doing.

"I said that when my dick is in you, then you're mine and I meant it baby," he pumped his cock, before he leaned over her, resting on his hand next to her head, his body covering hers.

Rae didn't answer, she couldn't admit to belonging to a man out loud but she wasn't exactly denying it either. He sucked her earlobe, whispering "all mine," as a chance for her to reject the idea but his dominance created a flood of excitement that had her rolling her hips to his, desperate for him to take whatever he wanted and call her whatever he wanted.

Negan kissed Rae, the taste of her arousal on his tongue as he began to ease himself inside, stretching her around him and making her his. She ran her fingers down his back pushing for more until he sank all the way in, her walls tightening around his length, her body quivering with the fullness. She'd wanted this for longer than she'd admit and having his body joined with hers had her heart racing as she deepened the kiss. He pulled all the way out and slammed into her again in one hard thrust that had him groaning "fuck," into her mouth. She didn't know what to expect with Negan but as his fingers entwined with hers and he began to thrust in long grinding strokes, he made love to her, pulling her legs to wrap around his waist as her body rocked to meet his.

Rae could hear that Negan was getting closer from the way his breathing became more ragged, his strokes losing focus, "come for me baby," he crooned kissing her again, his thumb brushing against her nipple with just the right pressure that her orgasm began to roll across her body in one long wave as she clung to him. Negan face buried into her neck as his orgams pulsed in hard thrusts that pushed her all the way into the mattress until they were nothing but sweat slicked skin glued together, wrapped up in each other as they caught their breath.

Rae could feel his length softening as he peppered kisses along her collarbone and neck. "Jesus," he decided, rolling onto his back and taking in a deep shuddery breath while she just stared at the ceiling feeling exposed now all the pent up tension had been dissolved. She wanted Negan to say something and he did. He picked up her hand, kissed the back of it and said, "fucking hell, you were worth the wait Rachel Honey."