Rae holstered her pistol, watching as Rick and the others stepped into the hallway. She could feel Tim pacing behind her before she turned to him, not quite looking him in the eye as she said, "I'm going with them and you're going home."

"No," he answered, his voice loud and his stance hard. He was changed, every passing moment he was changing into someone she didn't recognise and that made him a liability.

"I don't trust your judgment here," Rae hissed, "we don't know who these people are and you're telling them everything. You're gonna get us killed."

Tim stepped towards her, any sorrow he'd displayed at attacking her seemed like it was long forgotten. "I don't think it's my judgement that's the problem here."

Rae didn't like the way he was looking at her almost as much as she hated the tone in his voice. Her palm itched for vengeance and she took it, her hand clapped across his face and his glasses hurtled to the floor. His head remained turned from the blow, his nostrils flaring and the mark of her palm glowing red. She didn't feel good or satisfied, she felt just as confused and even more lonely than before.

Neither of them said anything as Tim picked up his glasses. He focused on cleaning them with the hem of his shirt while the silence swelled.

Rae took a breath, unclenching the fists that had wound tight. "Grandma can't know about all of this, not yet. If we both leave now then she'll worry, she'll wonder where we are and send someone to Negan's men to tell them we're missing. You need to go home and tell Grandma that I've decided to go to my apartment for a few days."

"She's not gonna believe that."

"Then make her believe it!"

Rae didn't wait for Tim to say yes or no, she'd made her decision and there was no way he was joining her on this trip. She couldn't control what he would say and she didn't trust Rick, she knew how easy it was to weave a convenient truth and how much Tim wanted that truth to be real.

"I'll go with you," Rae said to Rick as she stepped outside where the men were waiting. "Tim's going home and if I don't return in four days then he's going to contact Negan's men and tell them everything."

Rick glanced at Daryl, waiting for the other man to nod before he said. "Okay, let's go."

Travelling to Rick's community was done in uncomfortable silence. Very uncomfortable. Rae sat in the backseat of the car with Daryl scrutinising her every move, she could feel the way he was watching, waiting for her to do something but she barely moved a muscle, she hardly breathed and she didn't take her eyes from the window. She didn't want to make small talk, or listen to any more of what they had to say. All she wanted to do was think about every moment she'd spent with Negan, every word he'd spoken and every time he'd made her feel like she was alive. Sure, he was a killer, but the rules had changed. He'd killed for her and she'd been glad of it. Rae was certain that all the men in this car were killers too and the idea offered no comfort to the journey.

The car began to approach a large set of gates and Rae sat a little straighter in her seat, craning her neck to see everything while her heart began to thud with nerves.

'WELCOME TO THE

ALEXANDRIA

SAFE ZONE

MERCEY FOR THE LOST

VENGEANCE FOR THE PLUNDERERS'

Alexandria. The gates scraped open and Rick pulled in. He was home and she'd never been so far away.

Behind the industrial walls was a picturesque suburban housing estate, mown lawns, solar panels and the kind of homes Rae could only dream of owning before the apocalypse. To fill the cookie cutter houses were people and lots of them. She wasn't sure how many she expected but there were more and she noticed that none of them had weapons.

The engine still, Rick and the others stepped out of the car but Rae remained rooted to her seat, wondering if she'd made the right decision to come here and accepting that it was too late to change her mind. She watched them greeting their friends and pointing to her as they spoke in tones that would be hushed even if she wasn't hiding in the backseat.

She unclipped her seatbelt, letting it slip through her fingers with hesitation as she remembered to breath in and out. She was like the newbie on her first day of work except this was worse, she was the woman sleeping with the enemy and she had no idea what these people had planned for her. Or what they had planned for Negan.

Rick opened the door and Rae's time for hesitation was over. She braced herself before she slipped from the car with as much grace as she could muster. Then she stood tall, her head high, her spine straight and her hand resting on her glock as she scanned the curious faces that were all turned to her.

One of them was a boy, his eye covered with a patch and on his head an old sheriff's hat. He stepped forward when Rick gestured towards him, "This is my son, Carl. Carl, this is Rachel."

"Rae," she said, her voice not quite matching her demeanor before she repeated with more surety, "it's Rae."

Carl nodded his head and she locked eyes with Daryl who seemed to still be waiting for her to do something before she looked back to Rick. "I can show you around, you can meet my people. We have no secrets here," he said, his hands open.

Rae looked past the welcoming committee, down the street to where a couple of children were playing hopscotch while an old lady sat on her porch with a knee full of knitting. It reminded her of Grandma, it reminded her of home. Negan's compound had been dark, grey, hushed whispers of people not quite meeting her eye as he rushed to get her into his truck as quickly as possible. She didn't know exactly what that had meant but she knew right then that Negan had been deceiving her, she just didn't know how much. She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"This way," Rick gestured and Rae followed in a trance, not quite wanting to believe that Negan could be the monster these people said he was and being reminded of home with every person she was introduced to.

When the tour was over, and she wanted to be where there were no eyes scrutinising her every movement, she found herself sitting at a dining table while Rick's family gathered around to break bread over a meagre meal. Michonne, Judith, Carl and Daryl. From the outside they seemed like a family glued together by necessity but as her dish drained of food she could see how they were bound by something more intricate than merely survival.

It made her heart ache, it made her realise that whether she had planned it or not, she'd imagined a future for herself and Negan. She'd imagined family, life, a man who she could build something with and not just build it but keep it too.

"We'll show you to your room," Michonne said, pulling her from the fantasy. The table was cleared, Daryl and the children gone leaving Rae with no idea how long she had been lost in thought as she followed Rick and Michonne to the house across the street. They lead her upstairs, opening the first door to reveal a master bedroom complete with a plush carpet and cherrywood furniture. All that was missing was the bed. She could see the imprint where the frame had sat, now there was nothing but sheets on the floor.

"Sorry there's no mattress but Negan took them all," Rick said.

"He burned them," Michonne added, her tone bitter and Rae didn't look at either of them as she stepped into her room. Truthfully, she didn't need a soft bed, she wasn't sure that sleep was going to find her for even one moment of the long night.

The door shut behind her and she remained motionless, listening to Rick and Michonne's footsteps as they padded down the stairs then watching them walking across the street, his hand folded into hers before they ducked into their house. When their front door shut she turned, walking with silent feet to her bedroom door and cracking it open as slowly and quietly as she could.

Her heart startled when her eyes locked with Daryl's, standing watch at her door.

"I um…" she clocked the rectangular shape in the pocket of his jeans, "have you got a cigarette?"

His hand touched the box, as he kicked off the wall and pulled his crossbow higher on his shoulder, "ain't no smokin' in the house."

Rae let the door fall all the way open, "I'm not a prisoner here am I?"

Daryl's eyes narrowed but he didn't reply, he simply turned leading the way down the stairs and through the front door.

Rae followed, watching him take a seat on the porch rail and getting the feeling he spent a lot of time in that very spot.

The breeze nipped through her jacket and she wrapped her arms around her centre as he dug in his pocket for the cigarettes. He slid one out with his teeth before passing the box to her. She took the least crumpled, rolling it between her fingers as he sparked the Zippo and offered her the flame with caution in his eyes. Like she might explode if the fire came too close.

Rae inhaled the smoke, closing her eyes and letting it soothe her before she hopped up on the railing. She leaned her head against the post and thought about the supplies that Negan had promised her. Would he get them from here? Would he take from these people and give to hers? Did that matter?

Her eyes flicked to Daryl, his attention still focused, still waiting to see what she would do. "You don't trust me," she said.

"Ya trust us?"

Rae shrugged, taking another long drag of her cigarette before saying, "you invited me here."

Daryl glanced away, his eyes scanning the pristine street, "just 'cause we tryin' to help ya, don't mean we can trust ya an' it don't mean yer good."

"And helping? Does that make you good?" Negan had helped her, no matter what else he had done, he had helped her. She was wondering if there was anything else. Did a falling tree make a sound if there was noone there to hear it and was a man a monster if you only saw his sweet side?

"I don't know," Daryl muttered and his honesty surprised her. Was there any good or bad anymore? There were no lines, there was just survival and the world was consumed by all kinds of monsters.

Rae stubbed her cigarette against the perfect white paint and flicked the butt into the bushes. "I don't know either but… it's not me that you're trying to help." These people didn't want to help her people, they wanted to help themselves and they needed her to do it. She had to remember that.

Without saying goodnight she headed back to her room, shut the door and lay on her makeshift bed. She watched the stars from her window, drifting in and out of sleep until the room was filled with light. Two more days and Negan would be here.

/

Negan whistled as he strolled to the stores with the shopping list of supplies he wanted for the Matchstick Fort. He knew he couldn't stop Rae from going scavenging and he could never keep her people fully supplied unless they lived here but he could do something even if it wasn't much.

He could have asked anyone to make a shopping list and hand deliver the fucking thing but this morning Simon had told him that the new rooms were ready for his lovely wives and he was doing anything possible to avoid what came after.

He rounded a corner, colliding with some dumb fucker who spilled a pail of water all over his leg.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the man begged as he fell to his knees grovelling like a dog.

Negan laughed, "get your ass off the floor, it's only fucking water, it's not like it's the end of the fucking world and believe me, I'm used to things getting wetter than this."

The man scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide with fear as a half empty laugh forced from his lips.

Negan's smile was genuine as he patted the man on the back and ruffled his hair as if to say 'good boy'. A bucket of water couldn't drown whatever it was that had made him spring out of bed this morning. Hell, even the oncoming shitstorm with his wives wasn't quelling the lightness that was lifting him up. The bounce in his step was as unstoppable as the tune he couldn't stop whistling.

He handed his shopping list to the woman working the stores, giving the instruction to gather as much as she could and make up the rest with whatever goodies they were going to be bringing back from Alexandria. That was another way to avoid his wives. He didn't usually go on pick ups but there was something about Rick and his merry band of motherfuckers. A part of him liked the asshole and an even bigger part knew that he couldn't trust him. Rick wasn't like Ezekiel or Gregory, he was battle hardened, he had the look of an untamed dog and Negan had recognised it immediately. So going to Alexandria was a no brainer, he could keep an eye on his new best friend and he could avoid the wrath of five angry women for a little longer.

Simon and the others were all gathered in the forecourt, checking weapons and preparing to leave. The trip to Alexandria wouldn't take long. He'd come home, sort out his wives and in the aftermath he'd take a truck to Rae's to find shelter in her soft body and long legs. Since the moment he'd walked away from the Honey house, he'd thought of nothing else but returning there. He'd thought of nothing else but Rae.

Negan settled Lucille in the footwell and Simon took the driver's seat, "ready boss?"

"Ready as a bowl full of rubbers at a swingers party."

A/N- Thank you for reading. I know its been a couple of weeks since the last update but if any of you are writers then I'm sure you'll understand what it can be like to keep coming back to a longer fic without being distracted by all the fresh ideas. On that note I wanted to say a huge thank you to those of you that leave me feedback, knowing how much you guys are enjoying this story makes me keep writing it. I love you all xoxo