Chapter 4- Have No Fear
In the light of day, the tension rises and confessions are made.
It's light chatter in the hallway and noises drifting up from the kitchen downstairs that wake Finn up initially. He is incredibly warm, and there is a weight to his blankets, especially on his left side that doesn't usually exist. Something tickles at Finn's nose and he twitches it experimentally, his nostrils filling with a familiar but unrecognizable scent. He blinks his eyes slowly, and everything comes into focus.
There is a light knocking on his door before Carole calls out softly. "Finn? Kurt?"
Finn doesn't have a chance to answer before Carole pushes the door open. He notices his mother's eyes widen as she takes in the scene before her. But when their eyes meet, she has a sappy kind of a smile on her face. The same one from the wedding when Finn had pulled Kurt up onto the dance floor and danced with him.
"It's not wha-" Finn begins to say quietly.
Carole shakes her head. "It's okay. I just wanted to let you know that I'm making breakfast if you're hungry."
Finn smiles. "I'm always hungry."
Carole smiles back. "Somethings never change." She turns and leaves the bedroom.
Kurt is the warm weight on Finn's left side; his hair, his shampoo currently tickling at Finn's nose. Finn's mind starts clicking, putting together all of the places Kurt is currently touching him, and Finn is grateful for the blanket that is covering most of them. Like Kurt's right hand, that is snaked around Finn's shoulder, his warm palm resting on the back of Finn's neck with his long fingers in the short hair at Finn's nape. Kurt's head is cradled in the indent of Finn's collarbone; his mouth, slightly open and expelling little puffs of warm, moist air onto Finn's tee shirt clad chest, just over Finn's left nipple. Kurt's right leg is flush up against the outside of Finn's left leg, which the rest of his body is soft of straddling, with Kurt's left leg, bent at almost a ninety-degree angle, his knee resting against Finn's upper thigh. Kurt's left arm is draped across Finn's waist; his hand splayed just above Finn's right hip. Finn's shirt has ridden up a little during the night, and Kurt's hand is against his bare skin, with his pinky and ring fingers having somehow slipped under the elastic of his pajama pants.
Finn can't help but notice his cock as it begins to twitch slightly from where it has Kurt's leg pressed up against it, and Kurt's arm resting just above the tip. Finn bites his lip, fists his right hand in the sheets, and swallows a moan that threatens to escape. Finn's left hand is resting above Kurt's pajamas, on the small of Kurt's back, his long fingers tantalizingly close to the cleft of Kurt's ass. Despite the fact that Kurt continues to slumber on, Finn can feel Kurt's cock stir against his thigh.
Anxious to extract himself from Kurt before he makes a fool of himself, Finn begins to slide out slowly from under Kurt. He shifts his pillow so he can guide Kurt's head from him to it. As he moves though, Kurt's fingers slide from Finn's hip and across his lower abdomen, getting increasingly closer to the tip of Finn's almost hard cock. As Kurt's fingers skim the head of his cock, Finn instinctively bucks up into the light touch, this results in Kurt's hand moving further down into Finn's pajamas. Finn feels Kurt's hand wrap around him, and he can't help but hiss in pleasure.
Kurt's eyes squint open in Finn's direction.
Finn smiles softly at Kurt. "Sssh, go back to sleep. I'm just trying to get out of bed without waking you up," he whispers.
"I'm- am I holding your cock?" Kurt mumbles sleepily.
"Kind of," Finn grimaces slightly. "It just kind of happened as I tried to get out from under you."
"'S nice," Kurt murmurs as he gives Finn one gentle stroke before pulling his hand out of Finn's pants. He props himself up slightly, allowing Finn to slide out from under him without further incident. "'M just gonna sleep s'me more."
"Sounds like a good idea," Finn whispers. He pulls the blanket up over Kurt and makes his way over to the bathroom to take care of some morning business before heading downstairs.
000
The Hudson-Hummel kitchen is full when Finn comes down, his hair still sticking up every which way, and in his pyjamas. Mr. and Mrs. Evans, as well as Stacey and Stevie, are sitting at the table with Burt. His mom is making pancakes and scrambled eggs while the coffee percolates. He leans over and kisses her cheek. "Good morning Mom," he smiles at her and grabs a mug out of the cupboard above her. He walks over and squeezes Burt's shoulder lightly, "morning Burt," and nods at the older Evans.
"Is Kurt still asleep?" Burt asks as he looks up at his stepson leaning against the entry between the kitchen and living room.
Finn nods. "He woke up briefly, but he was still tired. He didn't fall asleep easily. We were up for a while."
"I noticed the pot in the sink," Carole smiles at Finn.
"Yeah, Kurt's favorite," Finn says. "I'll bring him up some breakfast if he doesn't make it down before I finish."
Finn watches as him mom pours several cups of coffee, passing one to each adult and himself. As she moves back around to the stove, she pushes a plate with a stack of pancakes, eggs, and bacon towards Finn. "Eat," she says sternly.
Finn leans against the counter, eating his breakfast mostly in silence while his parents talk with Sam's family. Finn doesn't mean to be rude by not engaging in the conversation; it's just that his brain is thinking about a million other things, most of them involving Kurt. Once he's finished and is about to make a second plate for Kurt, he sees Sam jog up the back steps. The blonde's hair is damp, and his skin is flushed from his obvious taxing morning run. He opens the back door, letting it slam shut behind him. Before Sam even gets a morning greeting out of his mouth, there is a scream from upstairs.
Finn is closest to the kitchen entry and is up the stairs in a blur of movement, Burt and Carole both following, but slightly behind him. "Kurt?" he asks cautiously as he opens the door.
Kurt's eyes widen when they meet Finn's, and he hurls himself into the taller boy's arms, propelling them both back against the door. The door clicks shut behind them. Finn looks down at Kurt's face, his eyes wide with fear, his skin even paler, and his chest heaving heavily against Finn's. "I woke up, and you were gone," he sniffs, burying his face in Finn's chest. "And I wasn't sure if last night, and you being here was real or just a dream."
"I'm here," Finn says softly. Finn tightens his arms around Kurt, rubbing his hands up and down Kurt's back. Kurt pulls back, just enough to look up at Finn.
"Finn," Kurt whispers. Their eyes lock, and Finn watches as Kurt stretches up, just a little, moving in closer, and closer. Finn closes his eyes, his heart racing as he waits for Kurt's lips against his.
But then the door behind him is moving, the handle jiggling.
"Kurt, kiddo, are you alright," Burt asks through the door.
"'M fine dad," Kurt drops back down flat-footed, sniffing against Finn's chest, and then looks up at the other boy. "Just a nightmare. But it's okay, Finn's here. I'll be okay."
Finn can feel his own heart beating out of his chest with how close they are pressed together, and the way Kurt's chest is heaving against him. And then there is the fact that Kurt's eyes are locked with his own, as if they are having some wordless conversation; not to mention that almost kiss. His breath hitches in his throat. But before he can say anything, Burt speaks again.
"Are you sure kid?" Burt asks.
Finn feels the door push open a little, but with both of their combined weight against it, it doesn't move very far. He drops an arm from around Kurt and reaches back, grabbing the knob and maneuvering them away from the door so it can open. He still has one arm around Kurt, and Kurt's head is still resting above his rapidly thumping heart.
"I'm fine dad," Kurt says reassuringly. "I may have attempted to tackle Finn when he came in, but I'm okay. I'll be okay."
Burt and Carole both laugh slightly at Kurt's words. Finn notices his mom has that same smile on her face as she looks at the two of them standing together. "Well, I have breakfast downstairs when you're ready Kurt," she says. With that, Carole guides Burt out of the room and back down the stairs.
Finn moves and sits down on the bed, patting it for Kurt to join him.
"Why did I get the impression that your mom was trying to leave us alone?" Kurt asks.
Finn shrugs. "She came in this morning; we were snuggled up pretty tight."
"Oh," Kurt's eyes go wide and he starts mumbling. "That really happened, then."
Finn feels his cheeks redden slightly as he nods. "Yeah, if you are thinking about what I think you're thinking about." But although he feels slightly embarrassed, Finn can't stop staring at Kurt; his face, his lips. He brings his hand up to cup Kurt's cheek and strokes his thumb over it, leaning in to kiss Kurt, but at the last minute pressing his lips against Kurt's cheek instead of his lips. "I didn't exactly mind, if that's what you're worried about."
"You didn't mind," Kurt says softly when Finn pulls away. "You didn't mind me touching you this morning and you just kissed my cheek. Finn," he breathes, eyes wide, "what are we doing?"
Finn shrugs. "Uh, consider it part of what I wanted to talk to you about? We should go for a walk, after breakfast, and we can have that talk."
"Okay," Kurt agrees, still with wide eyes.
000
Finn fidgets with his hands as they walk over to the park. He clenches and unclenches them, letting them swing between him and Kurt until they almost brush accidentally, and then he shoves them in his pockets. He wants to put an arm around Kurt's shoulders, but stops himself when Kurt begins talking about New York, NYADA, and some English guy named Adam.
"He's nice, and he's gay, and he actually likes me, but I just can't find it in me to have anything other than friendly feelings for him," Kurt says as they walk along. "Well, maybe a little more than friendly; I mean his accent is delicious, and I do find him cute, but I don't feel for him how I felt for… other people."
"Like Blaine," Finn finishes for him.
Kurt nods. "And other people," he offers Finn a crooked smile, "like you."
Finn feels a flush in his cheeks. "I thought after Mr. Schue's wedding; hooking up with Rachel and then coming to New York to help Santana deal with Brody…"
"And I'm still not sure I forgive you for not even calling me or letting me know you were in town Finn Hudson," Kurt interrupts, lightly punching Finn's arm as they walk.
"Sorry," Finn mumbles as he rubs at his arm. "Anyhow, I thought that maybe I was heading down a path that might lead me to New York…"
"To Rachel," Kurt interrupts again with a curt nod.
"Kind of," Finn agrees as they reach the park. "But when I thought of New York City and my life there, the only constant, the only thing I was sure of, was you."
"Of course," Kurt supplies as he sits down on a swing. "I'm always going to be in your corner. I'm always going to support you, no matter what you want to do."
Finn shakes his head, as he sits in the swing next to Kurt. "But it's more than that. I've kind of started seeing you, and us, a little differently."
Kurt's eyebrows scrunch up, and he looks over at Finn. "What do you mean differently? How do you see me? Us?"
Finn blows out a huge puff of air. "Well, like maybe I see a guy with hair kind of like yours but I think 'it's similar, but Kurt's is still better'. Or a guy will walk by in skinny jeans but I can't help but think that they'd look better on you."
Kurt shakes his head. "You've been looking at guys in skinny jeans and thinking I'd look better?" he squeaks.
Finn nods and bites at his bottom lip. "And sometimes at night, before I drift off to sleep, I think about what it might have been like if I wasn't so afraid; if I hadn't said no to your efforts?"
Kurt swallows harshly. "And what else do you think about Finn?"
"I think about what it would be like to kiss you," Finn says softly. "What it would be like to ask you out on a date."
"Is that really something you'd like?" Kurt asks. "Because I wouldn't be adverse to either of those ideas," he replies flirtatiously.
"So do you maybe want to go out, on a date, with me, tonight?" Finn asks breathlessly, eyes downcast, his feet digging into the sand.
Kurt reaches out, his hand cupping Finn's jaw and tilting his head up, meeting his eyes. "I'd love to. What would you like to do, Finn? I'm up for anything as long as it's with you."
Finn's eyes twinkle and his smile is wide and genuine. "Dinner? And a movie? Or Bowling? Mini golf?"
Kurt taps his lips as he thinks about the choices. "Dinner and bowling could be fun," he agrees. "And Dad will be so impressed you got me to go bowling with you."
Finn feels his eyes widen with panic.
"We don't have to tell anyone why we're going bowling," Kurt explains. "Just that we are. There is nothing wrong with two guys going bowling. You and Puck have gone bowling before."
Finn nods, relaxing but feeling guilty. "It's not that; I swear Kurt." He reaches over and puts his hand on Kurt's thigh, just above his knee. "I'm just not sure how Burt will feel about me dating his son. He and I are in a really good place right now, and I don't want to wreck that."
"Fine," Kurt nods. "But if this goes well, between us, the longer we keep it from him and Carole, the worse it's going to be."
"You're probably right," Finn agrees.
"No probabilities about it. So is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" Kurt asks. "Or is there more?"
"No, that's pretty much it," Finn admits with a laugh. "Are you sure you're okay with this? It's okay that I have feelings for you now? That I kind of want to do stuff I've never wanted even to think about before, with you?"
Kurt nods, his eyes wide, and exhales deeply. "I'm very good with all of that." He reaches over and takes Finn's hand in his. "I'm really glad I came home this weekend. I'm not glad about what brought me home, but I'm pretty happy with the outcome." He squeezes Finn's hand. "Let's go home. I have a hot date tonight."
A/N : My sincerest apologies for the long wait; I hope there are a few of you still hoping to read this. The last chapter is almost complete and will be posted by Aug 23rd.