Jane pulled up to the station. At first she went to park in her usual spot, right in front. She quickly remembered that is not where Maura parks so she made the trek around the block to the parking garage. 'This is not gonna work,' Jane thought to herself as she got out of the car.
"Good morning, Dr. Isles," one of the lab techs smiled.
Jane waved, not remembering the woman's name at all. She did the best she could to contort her voice. "Good morning. Sorry. Sore throat."
The woman nodded. "Not a problem. Take care." She wandered inside and down another hall. Jane headed directly to the lab to find Susie.
"Good morning, Dr. Isles," the woman brightly smiled.
Jane gave a half-smile and nodded. "Good morning Su-" 'dammit, Maura. Why do you have to be so formal?' "Good morning Chief Criminalist Chang. I have a sore throat today so you'll be running point on most things. If needed I'll call…" Jane blanked. 'Pike. Oh god no! Not that fish!' "Another examiner to come down. But, I think we can manage."
At first the woman was surprised at what seemed like a very personal greeting but then nodded as the doctor sounded more like herself. "I'm sorry to hear that, Dr. Isles. I understand. The tox screens you had us run beyond the standard panels are on your desk as well as the reports for any minerals or other substances. And I did get onto the manufacture of the specific pump. Just waiting for a call back from them."
"Excellent work, Ch-chief Medical Examiner Chang," Jane smiled and nodded. "I'll be in my office." More than ever Jane was now very grateful her mother had quit working at the Division One. No doubt Susie would have gotten on to Angela that Maura wasn't feeling well and the woman would barge in and try taking care of her. That was the last thing either Jane or Maura needed.
Meanwhile, Maura had gotten back to Jane's apartment. "Oh, sorry girl. I forgot to take you for a walk. I was in such a state earlier." Maura found Jo's leash and at the sight, the dog happily wagged her tail and barked. She bent down and clipped it on and headed out.
"Jane? Day off?" A woman down the hall asked. Maura rifled quickly through her brain to find the name.
"Uh h-hey, Ms. Montono. Ye-ah, finally. I have to get Jo out for a walk. Excuse us." Realizing the last part of the sentence was totally off for Jane, Maura inwardly kicked herself. 'Come on, Isles! You've studied this woman for six years now. Just do the opposite of yourself.
She tried to distract herself for a moment as she walked Jo. Maura reached for Jane's cell phone and texted herself. Did we get any reports in? How is the ruse going? While waiting for Jane to reply Maura bent down, bag at the ready, getting Jo's droppings.
"Jane? You're still lookin hawt as eva," the familiar voice hit her ears like a thud. "You and Maura still a-"
As Maura got up, bag in hand, she looked at Giovanni. "Yes, Maura and I are still together. And yes, she's still 'lookin hawt' as well," the woman mimicked him.
"Okay," he gave a dopey grin. "I was just headin to the L Train. Guess I'll catch you around."
"Sure, sure," Maura waved him off. "This is much harder than it looks, Jo." She relayed to the dog as they continued their walk.
Yes, reports in. Taking pics and sending them to you. How is Jo?
Maura smiled seeing the text. She is fine, Jane. It is much harder to be you than I previously theorized.
Even though Maura couldn't hear it, Jane let out a laugh on the other end. Yeah, not so easy to dumb yourself down, is it?
Jane! You are not dumb. We just have two totally different ways of being in the world, that is all.
If you say so, Maur. Pics should be coming through soon. Get on finding a cure for us too! Being you is exhausting. Even if I am hiding out.
I will get onto it all, promise. Just keep your nose up, Jane.
There was a pause. Either 'nose down' or 'chin up, Maura. If you're telling me to keep scarce, it's 'nose down'. Telling me things will get better? 'Chin up'.
Well fine. You knew what I meant. Basically I am saying both so it fit.
Yeah yeah, Dr. Smartypants.
Thank you, Det. Smartass.
Touche, Maur.
Getting back to Jane's apartment, Maura pulled up her email and saw the photos Jane sent. She quickly jotted off her report of the findings for Jane to turn in and then began looking up their situation.
She knew it sounded crazy and most of her searches landed into mythology and conspiracy theory chatrooms that Maura never would have believed in. Of course, none of this was supposed to be possible in the first place.
Realizing the need to pack some clothes, she gave herself a break and Maura wandered into to Jane's room. "It feels odd doing this without Jane here," Maura said to Jo. "I know you see me as Jane but I'm not." Her eyes narrowed on the dog and she crouched down. "Or, do you see me as Maura? You aren't completely acting as you do with Jane." She noted. Of course she knew the dog could not 'talk' back to her. Instead, Jo came over and nudged Maura's hand with her nose. She smiled and allowed herself to pet Jo a few times. "Go rest for a bit. I'll pack your things too. If Jane is staying over, it's only fitting you stay too," she added before getting into Jane's closet.
"Remember. These clothes look lovely on Jane. No, they're not your style, but they are part of what makes Jane...Jane," Maura said out loud. She grabbed enough for the next few days just in case and then went to Jane's dresser. "It's fine. She felt you up earlier! This is nothing," she tried to calm herself as she reached to open the drawer. Her eyes quickly snapped on a pair of black lace panties. "Oh my," she picked them up. As she worked the material between her fingers, Maura couldn't help but flash on an image of Jane laying spread eagle on Maura's bed; nude, save for the panties.
Realizing she was alone, even though it felt wrong, Maura couldn't help but want to satisfy the desire to see how Jane would look in them. She quickly took off her things. "Mmm Jane…" she took a finger, running it across the taut stomach. "Just as sexy as I'd dreamed." She let her hand keep going upward. "It's really tit for tat given her feeling me up earlier." She cupped Jane's breast and shuddered at how good it felt. "I can't count how long I've wanted to feel you…" Before she got herself too worked up she remembered the point was to try on the panties.
She bent at the waist and drew the material slowly up Jane's long legs. Maura had certainly seen Jane naked before. They'd had to grab quick showers at the gym before work or that one biohazard show literally at work. But this was far from the same. She had a complete, all-access pass to the body she'd been craving. Maura went into Jane's bathroom and shut the door. On the back was a full length mirror. She couldn't help but gasp and feel herself grow wet and throb at the sight. "Guess I'll have to take these and do laundry," Maura blushed. "Seems silly to take them off if I'm going to wash them." She redressed and left the lacy material on as a deliciously wicked reminder.
Any luck on how to fix us? The text was a welcome one.
Thus far? No. I was just getting some of your clothes. I'll be at my place with Jo soon. Shall I make us something for dinner?
Maura, no! Ma would totally suspect something is up if I cooked.
True. I could just say it's a date.
A few tense minutes of silence. Ha ha. Funny, Maur. Just go home and relax? I'll grab us something on my way home.
That can still be a date, Jane. She'd just gotten the bag finished and headed to gather some things for Jo when her phone vibrated.
True point, Maura. I'll see you as soon as I can. The message was simple yet cryptic. Jane was always careful to dance around the concept of her own sexuality. Of course Maura had seen her friend in and out of dalliances with men but really, that's all they were. There was nothing of substance with any of them. All Jane's suitors had ties elsewhere and that seemed to suit her friend just fine.
With that thought, Maura grabbed the bag and leashed Jo Friday, making sure to get her bag as well and headed to the car. "We'll be home in no time," she smiled to the pup. While it wasn't the safest option to have her sitting in the front seat, Maura hadn't thought to grab a cage. "You'll behave, right Jo?"
The dog simply looked at her and panted.
With that, Maura set off for her place. Her mind reeled with how to fix the predicament she and Jane were currently in. None of it made sense in the slightest.
As she pulled up, she noted Angela's car was not in the driveway. Maura heaved a sigh of relief. She grabbed the bags and then Jo, letting the dog sniff to see if she needed to go to the bathroom. Finding she did not, Maura ushered them into the house.
Once inside, she unleashed Jo and took her bag upstairs to her room. She then went back downstairs to check on Bass. "Hello, old friend. How have you been?" She went to his food and found he'd only pecked at the meal she left. "Hmm. Okay. So you want something else? No problem." She went into her fridge and found some kale. She pulled it out and set it to rinse as she got a cutting board down. When it was ready, she chopped it just so, laying it on a nice plate and setting it down for her pet. "Here you go. Enjoy!"
The tortoise seemed to look over but kept on his way toward where, Maura wasn't sure. She went back upstairs to her room, grabbing her iPad and again began researching what to do for her situation. Nothing she found seemed to be that helpful but she bookmarked random sites and ideas.
"M-Er Jane? I'm home," the familiar voice called out. Maura hadn't even realized she'd dozed off until the sound woke her.
"I'm in m-your room, Maura," she called back.
Jane left the food she'd picked up on the island in the kitchen and quickly made her way towards the stairs. While she herself wasn't as skilled in heels, Maura's body was more than comfortable leading the way. "Did you find anything?" She asked as she opened the door.
"Well, that's a polite 'hello,'" Maura countered. "Thus far I have not. I'm still searching. Honestly? This feels like the plot out of some film or exaggerated farce."
Jane blinked. "You have seen Freaky Friday, haven't you?"
Maura's eyes narrowed as she thought over the question. "Given the title, I'd say no."
"How could you not? Jodie Foster? Come on...she was hot," Jane grinned.
"You realize you're saying you found a female hot?" Maura pointed out.
Jane chuckled. "Technically you pointed it out, not me." Jane winked.
Maura looked at Jane flatly. "Whatever. So obviously no, I have not seen that film. What is your point?"
"No real point. You said it felt like a movie and I was just saying it kinda is. Are you ready to take a break and have some dinner?"
"'Kind of,' Jane." Maura corrected. "And yes. I honestly don't recall eating today. I've been too busy pouring over things. Since this hasn't resolved I think we're both going to need to call out. Have Pike come down to take over."
Jane scrunched her nose as the mention of the man's name. "Maura, no," she whined. "He's a moronic chauvinist!"
"A moronic chauvinist you do not have to work with. He's the best I have in a pinch, sadly." She explained as they headed down to the kitchen.
"Maura?" Angela's voice called out.
"Y-" Jane quickly shot a look to Maura as she suddenly realized Jane had to be the one to respond.
"Yes, Angela?" 'Whoa, that's weird.' Never had the detective ever called her mother by her first name.
As they hit the bottom of the stairs, Angela met them. "Ah! Janie! You're here too," she smiled.
"I-uh, yeah, Ma. I'm staying over with Maura for a few nights. Jo's out back if you want to see her. Maura was saying something about an 'impromptu vacation.'" Maura made sure to use the word, knowing Jane wouldn't likely think of it on her own.
"That's fine, dear. You're a big girl. If you want to play hookie from work, who am I to judge? Oh! That's why I came over, Maura. There's something going funny with the electrical in the guest house. When I turn on the light in the kitchen, it blows the fuse."
As Maura, Jane proudly beamed. "Not to worry, Angela. I'll get to that after dinner. Jane can lend a hand."
"I know how to do electrical work too," Maura stated.
Angela smiled with pride. "She does! Janie's a whiz with her hands."
At the comment, Maura couldn't help but bite her lip. 'I bet she is...'
"Jane? Is there something wrong? You're biting your lip."
Maura quickly stopped and blushed. "N-no, Ma. Nothing's wrong. Um, let us have some dinner and we'll be right over."
Inwardly Jane grinned, knowing what had Maura biting her lip. Quickly thinking of how polite her friend always was, Jane smiled. "Angela? Have you eaten? I'm sure there's more than enough to go around?"
Fortunately for both, the woman smiled and waved her hand. "I'm fine, thank you dear. I had a large lunch so I'm just having a salad for dinner. You two girls enjoy."
"Thank you. I'm sure we shall," Jane shot a sly glance to Maura.
This caused the woman to blush deeply and again bite her lip.