Chapter 48 "Rachel's Confessions"

A/N: (31 March 2017) Omigosh, you are the best audience a writer could ever wish for! Thank you for the reviews, and your kind words, your involvement in this story. I love reading your comments, and knowing this story means something to you. It means a lot to me too! *huge smile!*

FYI, I think Grace would be on the verge of 15 in this story, since I have it taking place in my AU season 7. We know she was born in 2002, probably in March?, since on 9-11-2001 Danny was looking at the first sonogram. (That was a good question!)

This chapter really had a mind of its own. I thought at first it was digressing, but it refused to go any other way. And then the part with Rachel … as long as I have seen this coming, it surprised me. But I think it went realistically. I hope so. I hope you enjoy this!

CBS owns Hawaii Five-0, which will now have a Season 8 to inspire even more fanfics! Yay!

Chapter 48 "Rachel's Confessions"

(Monday, 26 December 2016, approximately 9 a.m.)

Steve McGarrett sat on the hard chair in the interrogation room at the Hawaii Women's Correctional Facility not far from Honolulu. He was waiting for Rachel, having arranged with the facility the previous evening that he would question her at 9 a.m. She was late because she was still having occasional bouts of morning sickness. Steve was sympathetic, as he would be for anyone, but Rachel churned up so many emotions within him that he was almost glad to have a few extra minutes to collect his thoughts.

Chin and Abby had driven him over, after their several hours visit with the sleeping, nightmare troubled Danny. Now Kono was with their friend. Hannah and Becca had all taken turns with Steve and Five-0 during the night. All of Five-0 had been called one at a time by Steve and informed that Danny knew all, and was emotionally down for the count, as least for a while. They would make sure he was never left alone, even if they would let his behavior dictate how much they would try to interact with him. But he would know they were there, and that they loved him.

Angel was ever at his side, except for those few minutes even she had to visit the little catbox in the bathroom, or nibble on the moist catfood left on a plate. Chin, Abby and Kono (along with, of course, Steve, Hannah and Becca, and Dr. Cornett) were all exempt from the "Do Not Touch" embroidery on Angel's harness. She had accepted them all, but Angel had shown through the night that she had one exception to her acceptance of Danny's ohana. It read something like, "Don't get between me and my Person when he needs me."

At some point during the night, Becca had plopped the Santa Hat on Danny's sternum, because that is where Angel had taken up residence when Danny had a nightmare and needed comforting. She would awaken and sit there, with her paws on either side of Danny's face, nose to nose or chin on chin, whichever seemed to work, and purr until her Person calmed a little. Then she would sit on the hat, eyes unwavering on Danny (something like the alert kitten version of Snoopy's 'Vulture' thing), and when she felt him ease from the current nightmare tension, she would curl up on the hat and sleep until she awakened again to try and soothe Danny while whoever was sitting with him soothed him as well.

Quite a few things had been done in those hours while Danny slept, at first peacefully, but then steadily more fitfully. The medications kept him from awakening, but they did not stop the twitches, the wordless protests, the occasionally clearly said word or short sentence. The most frequent thing Danny said, in anything from a forceful mumble to a whispered plead, was either, "Stan, don't," or "Don't touch me!" Everyone but Becca and Hannah had a very good idea of the subject of his nightmares, although some were clearly about the time spent isolated in the box.

Steve had been busy after his talk with Dr. Cornett. Before the doc went home to visit more with his son, he had made a copy of a document for Steve, which Steve now had folded in a pocket of his cargo pants. Then he had called everyone, and learned when he would have company in his bedside vigil. Before Chin and Abby had arrived, at about 5 a.m., they had stopped by Steve's house and brought him a full change of clothes. Steve had taken a 'lazy SEAL's' shower – lasting 5 minutes – in the shower in Danny's hospital room. He had skipped breakfast, although he had indulged in hot tea from the vending machine. He did not want to be on a caffeine high when he talked with Rachel. Nor did he want there to be ammo in his stomach.

Finally Rachel arrived, and Steve rose and stepped aside as the Matron cuffed Rachel's wrists to the bar on the table separating her from Steve. The Matron left the room at Steve's nod, though Steve knew she would wait outside the door.

Steve studied Rachel Edwards as he took his seat again. She looked tired, with dark smudges under her eyes, which her lack of makeup accentuated. Her hair was showing the days without fancy hair products, but she still had a natural beauty no one could deny. Her belly was definitely showing her pregnancy, while her emotions were hard to read. She seemed more than anything to be annoyed with her handcuffs.

"I am sorry for your loss," said Steve, formally, testing the waters.

Rachel hesitated, looked to be searching for something more eloquent to say, but finally settled on simply glancing up at him briefly before sighing. "Thank you."

Steve wanted to get this over with. So he dove in. "Thank you for not insisting that your lawyer be present."

Rachel finally looked him square in the eyes. Dull brown met intense sea green. "You know it is only because this makes anything we say inadmissible in a court of law. I'm doing you no favors."

"I am well aware of that, Mrs. Edwards."

"Oh, nice. So we are going to be very formal. Very well, Commander. How is Danny, and what is his response to my demand?"

Steve sat back in his chair, and used his left hand to run his fingers through his hair. "Let me be plain," he said, forcing the irritation he felt to only show slightly. "I am not speaking for Danny, as I do not have his permission, and he does not know I am here. Neither is he physically able to be here to give you his response, and I am quite sure you know why. You and your deceased husband did do everything in your power to destroy him and everything in his life. He isn't allowed out of the hospital yet."

"Stan bungled everything. –And I cannot even say I am that surprised." Rachel scowled. "So Danny really doesn't know you are here? Do you expect me to believe that? You're here to do his dirty work for him, or to soften me up – I'll figure out which it is eventually. I am smarter than you think I am."

Steve did not let his voice harden, but his eyes darkened. "You are not proving it yet. You were married to the man, so you ought to know he doesn't send someone to do his dirty work for him. He does it himself."

Rachel smiled briefly. It was not a nice smile. "That is actually true. He was the only man I've cared about who didn't say 'How high?' when I said, 'Jump.' I think that is why he stayed in my heart. I could manipulate him to an extent, but beyond well-defined boundaries, he never gave in to me."

Steve looked down at his left hand, resting on the table. He murmured, "At least you admit you cared about him."

"Commander, don't irritate me. You know I still do. Why else ask for a reconciliation?"

Steve's facial muscles hardened, and were relaxed by force of will. "You didn't ask. You demanded. You are trying to manipulate Danny into giving you what you want, when you know it is not what he wants, so to make his choice all the harder you threaten to abort Stan's baby, and tell him you have already aborted one of his children." Steve shook his head, honest confusion showing through on his face. "How could you play with his heart like that? You 'care' about him, yet you abort his child years ago, and throw it at him to force him to give you what you now want. I don't understand you at all."

Rachel sighed. "It isn't Stan's baby," she admitted.

.

H50 H50 H50 H50

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Steve just stared at Rachel in shock. "Then who is the father? It isn't Danny."

"No, it isn't Danny. We haven't been … since I reconciled with Stan when I was carrying Charlie." Rachel used her bottom to pull her chair closer to the table so she could sit back more comfortably. She looked tired. "Look, I was never much good at being faithful. Stan bored me, and I took lovers. He took lovers, had mistresses, and I really didn't care. Danny was the only one who was faithful. Maybe that's why I want him back. But even when we were married, I had an occasional dalliance, especially when I was annoyed with him, his refusal to give in to my demands to leave the police force and take a safer job. So, I found ways to hurt him, and then waited for when those things were most hurtful to tell him, and some things haven't come out yet. The abortion was useful now, so I used it now."

"You do the strangest things to the men you profess to love. Do vows mean anything to you?"

Rachel shrugged barely. "Marriage vows are words people say on days when they are not thinking straight because everything is all rosey and the future seems all bliss. Then the real world rears its ugly head and for most people vows go out the window." She sighed again. "You've never been married. You wouldn't know any of this."

Steve knew that, to him, vows were sacred. He had taken sacred vows as a SEAL, as a protector of the people of Hawaii, and in his mind had taken them with each and every friend who had made it inside the part of his heart reserved for those he called 'ohana', and therefore he rejected everything Rachel said. He knew when he and Hannah married, he would no matter what ever take another woman to his bed. But that didn't bear on this, so he brought the conversation back to the point. "Who is the father of this baby, Rachel?"

Rachel seemed disappointed that Steve was still in control of the conversation. "You and Daniel are a lot alike, Commander." She flipped her hair off her shoulders with a shake of her head, and said, flatly, "Jason Black. And he's dead, too."

"Did you know Stan was going to kill him?" Steve thought fast. "Did Stan kill him because he knew the baby wasn't his?"

"No." Rachel drew out the word. Then she lifted her shoulders and Steve could see the moment when she decided to level with him. "Let me tell you about Jason, and Dubai. The whole reason I adored him so much. He was a man I could control, because he was so in love with me. He would do anything for me." She smiled at memories Steve was glad he was not privy to. "So he and Stan looked so much alike, and Stan took a lot of short trips. And then Jason and I did not even have to hide being together in public, since everyone assumed he was Stan. Of course, we were discreet anyway. I don't think Stan knew. He had ways of letting me know when he knew. He wasn't nice … like Jason. Sometimes Stan hit me, but never badly. And I hit him back."

"Do I need to know this?" asked Steve.

"If you want me to tell you what you want to know, you will have to listen to me tell you things you may not want to know. Fair is fair. I may be in prison, but I still get to call these shots, right now." Rachel removed any trace of a smile, and blew out an irritated, quick breath.

So Steve heard the story about Jason Black and Rachel Edwards. Jason had worked for the company with Stan, and the two had virtually identical jobs. They both took trips to secure business deals, problem solve, and both were offered promotions which included relocating to different parts of the nation, even the world.

But Jason did not have to stay in Hawaii, like Stan did, because of the custody arrangement that prevented him from leaving Hawaii. Rachel hadn't really minded until she and Jason had been having an affair for awhile, and he was offered the job in another company, in Dubai.

Jason accepted it, because he would be free to return to Hawaii often. But Rachel asked Jason to have the same offer extended to Stan, and then mentioned to Stan that Danny was all that was standing in the way of them really moving up in the world.

"I remember saying to him, 'If Danny's job were just a little more dangerous, this custody thing would not stop you from taking the job.' And Stan took the bait. He asked me, quite shocked I think, if he wanted me to kill Daniel."

Steve felt queasy, and pulled his hand into his lap, since he did not want to physically even touch the table Rachel was touching. "So you set Stan up to kill Danny? Is that what you wanted?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Commander, were you listening? I had a man who adored me, moving to Dubai, and a marriage I could not get out of until I was no longer tied to Danny anymore, because he was keeping me from being able to move to Dubai too! Of course I wanted Stan to kill Danny, then! Danny was in my way! Now, he's not. I'm trying to make the best of this ridiculous situation I am in."

Steve stood up and walked around, disgusted. "Lady, you are a selfish piece of work." He turned to face Rachel, stuffing his left hand in the most convenient pocket. "So you are carrying Jason's baby, and you say you loved him, but now are willing to abort if Danny doesn't reconcile with you and adopt Jason's baby."

"Yes. Except I know Danny will give in to me, because of the baby. He's soft that way. That is why I told him about the abortion."

"I have no clue about your logic on this, but that's beside the point. Do you know how Danny feels now that he knows you never even told him he had another daughter because you got rid of her because, what, was the timing bad? She complicated your life at a bad time, and had to go?"

Rachel was growing increasingly angry. "Commander, have you ever even considered what it is like to be a woman who discovers she is pregnant just when she is thinking seriously about getting a divorce from a man who is tenacious in his love for his child? There were times I thought Daniel loved Grace more than he loved me! Add another baby into the mix, and I did not want to postpone the divorce when I made up my mind that we were through. From my point of view, I was doing the right thing."

"And from Danny's point of view, he lost his daughter and his wife, and had to fight to be included in Grace's life." Steve was now fighting his own battle with anger. "And on Christmas, you tell him about his lost daughter. How could you do that?"

Rachel shrugged with only one shoulder. "Stan had the audacity to die on me when he did, and that made it necessary to tell Danny on Christmas. There's nothing more to it." She sighed again. "Besides, there's no way I can be sure it was even Danny's baby. I told you, I wasn't faithful. I'm not even sure if Grace is his."

Steve leaned against the table, one handed. "Really? You don't know? Well, let me tell you something, Mrs. Edwards. I had a feeling you were going to throw this at Danny sooner or later, so I legally obtained the information you claim to lack."

He pulled out the folded piece of paper from his cargo pocket. "Look at it. It's a copy, so you can rip it up if you want, because I can always get another one. But that paper lists Grace and Charlie as full blood siblings. And we know that Danny is Charlie's father, and therefore he is Grace's father too. And if you think that learning that you were unfaithful to him as well as aborted someone's baby is going to make him anxious to give in to your demands now that you are the widow of a man you used to try to have Danny killed … you're insane. Besides, Danny is engaged now to a woman he loves with his whole heart, so you're too late, lady. He's taken."

Rachel spit out, after looking over the paper, eyes flashing, "Then you better tell him to get un-engaged, because the only way I have of keeping him from testifying against me in trail is to marry him again. A spouse cannot be made to testify against their spouse."

Steve smiled a cold smile that made his eyes look like winter storm skies. "And the true motive comes out. Let me explain about the law, lady. A spouse cannot be forced to testify against their spouse. But if they do so willingly, they can do so in incredibly powerful detail. And there's no law preventing their friends from testifying. Danny has a few very close friends who would testify against you, even if he asked us not to."

Steve put the document given to him by Dr. Cornett back into his pocket. "Do you want to know the best way to give yourself a break? You are up on so many charges, you will get a long sentence."

Rachel was breathing hard, tense, and looking scared. "I'm listening, Commander."

"Waive any trial, plead guilty, have the baby and let Jason Black's family have first right to adopt, so they have something of him still living, and let Danny get on with his life, which you tried so hard to take from him."

"What would that gain me?"

"Self respect. Showing you have an interest in amending your mistakes, and giving the judge some indication that you care about someone on this earth besides yourself."

"But I don't," Rachel admitted softly. "Not really. I only have me."

"If you force a trial, I guarantee you a very long sentence. It won't be short, even if you do as I suggested. But you might get out when you are in your late 50's. And the people you have hurt and caused their deaths, even if you didn't kill them yourself, will be spared a lot more pain than they have already had to go through."

"And if it goes to trial?"

"The evidence is rock solid, and forcing a trail will result in the judge giving you maximum, given the nature of the charges and the cruelty inflicted on the victims. If you do what I suggest, you can pull your life together even behind bars, and try to make amends."

"I don't care about those people," Rachel murmured hollowly.

"Then care about yourself."

"But I am," she said with very little inflection. "I rather enjoy hurting people, especially when I'm hurting. Misery loves company." She sighed and looked at Steve with very clear eyes. "Tell Daniel I expect to see him in the next few days. Very few. And he had better break off that engagement. Remember, not all my secrets have yet come out." She called for the Matron, who came in. "Take me back to my cell." She didn't bother to say goodbye to Steve. He was left with the feeling that he had never even visited. But he pulled out the small recorder in his back pocket and played back the last things Rachel had said, and sadly pocketed it, wondering if he had done any good at all.