Chapter 52 "Secrets"
A/N: (19 April 2017) I meant to wish you all a Happy Easter, so instead I will wish you a Happy Week After Easter! Or Spring. However you feel about it. I'm Easter and Spring! And I thank you so heartily for your reviews and kindness. You inspire me! 😃
I'm so glad you got the connection between Easter and the theme of forgiveness. It's something I feel very strongly about. In our lives we will each need to be forgiven, and need to forgive, and I'm not just talking about the small stuff. This chapter timed itself well to a time of year that features forgiveness as it's central theme. I will say now that in my first story, Actions Speak Louder Than Words, when the break came with Lou, this chapter in some incarnation, was always planned. I knew there would be forgiveness, eventually. Sometimes it takes awhile.
Now, Rachel is another beast. I haven't written that yet, but I pretty much know how it will go. Forgiveness does not always include reconciliation. Sometimes it can't.
The next chapter should come within the week. I hope you enjoy this one!
CBS owns Hawaii Five-0. (I hope I don't go nuts waiting for episode 7.23 to get here, the one about Danny's past, just before he meets Steve!)
Chapter 52 "Secrets"
(Tuesday, 27 December 2016, 3:45 p.m.)
Danny stared blankly at the candy striper volunteer, a high school girl probably about Grace's age. She had just asked him where he wanted to put two large bags of mail from the mailroom. "Uh. Are you sure that's for me?" He already had two and a half stacks sitting on his bedside table.
The candy striper, short and cute, her soft curly hair halo-ing her sweet face, read the name on the bags again. "Detective Danny Williams, Five-0 Task Force, and then Tripler's address and this room number?"
Danny mangled, "Huh. Okay. Uh…."
Steve reached for one of the bags, and Dr. Cornett took the other. Becca's eyes were beaming. "Thank you, Genie," she said to the candy striper. Genie was looking at Danny, and at Angel sitting on Danny's chest, now that he didn't have wires everywhere. The ladies (and most of the men) had noticed that Danny's hospital regulation shirt nevertheless was contouring his variety of noticeable muscle groups very well. The candy striper smiled and mused breathily, "That is one. Lucky. Kitten." Then she blushed shyly and left, while Becca's burst into a smile so bright and conspiratorial with Danny (who didn't understand why Becca was beaming) that everyone had to smile (because they did.) It looked like a candy striper might be experiencing her first crush, or at the very least had a refined sense of contour-appreciation!
Steve handed the first bag to Danny, who had to let Angel investigate it before he could open it. His thumb got in the way, as did Steve's, so Becca opened the bag. "Oh, wait, the ones on your table there," she pointed out.
"Why are so many people writing to me?" multi-octaved Danny?
"Open them and see!" answered Steve, already ripping open the top one on the table.
"Noooooo," whined Danny. "We gotta improvise a letter opener. Civilized, Steven. I do not want something from my Cousin Nancy ruined."
"But it's from Sang Min, Daniel," retorted Steve.
"Oh. Rip away."
Which Steve did while Becca produced a ceramic nailfile from her colorful scrubs pocket, and started opening envelopes, some of which were quite thick. Dr. Cornett began methodically opening envelopes from the second bag, using a urethral probe that made the men wince, but which he had scavenged from a drawer in Danny's room.
Steve snorted with mirth when he read Sang Min's silly card out loud, after showing it off to everyone in the room. It had Charlie Brown's sad little Christmas tree on the front, and the full, decorated "loved" one on the inside. The message was, "You got wers luk den me, but bigger ohana. Get well. Hope da ten helps. Not a brib!" Steve laughed. "He means bribe." And a ten-dollar bill, looking like it came from one of the original batches and may have been run over four times by a triple-semi, fell out with the card. Danny looked at it as if it came from Mars, while Angel approached it with approximately the same attitude, only deciding it was harmless after she had smacked it three times with one paw, claws extended, and it stayed limp and apparently dead. Danny was flummoxed. "Huh. Wow."
Which made everyone turn toward the door, the males hopefully, the females watching the males patiently, until it became clear Danny's flat vocal reaction had been about the $10 bill from Sang Min and the men all tried to act like they hadn't been expecting the "endowed" nurse.
Chin quickly grabbed an envelope from Harry Brown, a philosophical, thrice-divorced Private Investigator they had worked with. The cover of the card said Mele Kalikimaka, and inside it said, "Merry Christmas." "Muscles: Sh*t happens, but the sun still rises. Be happy for what ya got, next year could be worse. Thanks for helping me out, and this whole place. P.S: I heard your hairdo got axed, so it's just Muscles until it grows back out." And a credit-card sized gift card fell out, for Rumfire, worth $100. The note on it said, "For when you can use this."
And it went on from there, with various letters and notes from total strangers piling up, the gift cards from useful (and a few not really useful, but well-intentioned) places really stunning Danny into his mouth shaping like a semi-permanent little horizontal ellipse, his eyes like startled blue Os, trying to take it all in. Two realtors were offering to find Danny a free apartment for him and his kids, two other realtors had already sent descriptions, photos and floor plans for multiple houses he could have rent free for six months. Businesses had sent gift cards in astonishing amounts, from the grocery store Danny frequented sending him $5000 in free groceries, his clothier which supplied his shirts and other clothes matching the amount, additionally informing him that five shirts and pants combinations were arriving by special delivery the next day, with a pair of dress shoes, a pair of casual shoes, and a pair of his favorite flip flops, along with underclothing, a dozen pairs of socks [and they knew about his penchant for crazy patterns] and pajamas. Danny's jaw hit his collar bone, making his mouth into a vertical ellipse. A better-end furniture store he had never shopped at sent a gilded card thanking him for his service to the community, and included a gift card for $10,000 in furniture and appliances. Two different high end hotels on Waikiki were offering him very nice suites for him and his kids, free, for three and four months respectively. People wrote long letters of sympathy, others wrote short notes of sincere gratitude. Some offered playsets for Charlie, and one car dealership had set aside a newest-model, fully loaded Prius for him, all he needed to do was come in and pick up the keys. The picture in the card showed that it was in the latest medium-dark-metallic navy color.
That was just in the first bag.
By the time they tallied the cash from kind people who wished him a speedy recovery, they had almost $1600 in bills and checks, plus gift cards from all over the place. Then Jerry ran in with his laptop open, and informed Danny that an Anonymous person had established a Go Fund Me page two days ago in his honor, with a donation target of $3000, which had already been surpassed. "Right now the number is $3587, but it's picking up steam! Yup, just hit $3650!"
Rarely was Danny speechless, but he was over this. He watched as another $50 was added to the site, and after that the donations just kept trickling in, most small, but one was $500.
Becca, Kono, and Abby were wiping away tears, Hannah was on the verge, and they still had a bag of cards to go. "I wonder if we will find our work mailbox stuffed like this," said Kono. She gave Danny a hug and kiss and zipped out of the room, obviously on her way to go check.
Which was why she missed the two candy stripers, Genie and her friend Teressa, returning with two carts of plush bears, bunnies (one very small, which Angel immediately adopted as her own 'kitten'), a penguin, a hippo, several indeterminate animals, two dragons, and 6 plush police officers from Build A Bear, and a K-9 plushie (which Angel flattened her ears at) and cute things, with 8 floral arrangements, and another bag of mail, only about half full.
Danny was stunned, and said so, after thanking the two candy stripers, who apparently both had crushes on Danny, from the longing looks they gave him and his chest before leaving. "There has to be a death threat in here somewhere, or this can't be real," added Danny, the only one oblivious.
Kono returned a few minutes later, and informed them that the Five-0 mailbox was indeed stuffed, and the Post Office was holding the excess in bags. There were also floral arrangements everywhere, "One HUGE one from the Governor!", and more plush animals.
Dr. Cornett held up a card with a picture of Darth Vader on it, overlayed with artwork making him into the original elder Obi-wan Kenobi. It played the Star Wars theme when opened, and the message was, "I am your Father. I COMMAND you to get well!" The doctor grinned. "Does this count as threatening?"
Steve held his good hand out and asked to see it, and the doc handed it over. "Who's it from?" he asked, looking at the address on the envelope.
Steve rolled his eyes and handed the card and envelope to Danny. He took a look, showed it to Becca, and then reached over and smacked his doctor's arm with card and envelope, which made Dr. Cornett laugh. "You? You're my doc!"
"Yeah, but I'm going to be your father-in-law! That gives me rights, and power."
Danny sighed. "My doc has gone to the dark side. 'Obi-wan' my butt crack."
Which made everyone laugh, most of all Dr. Cornett, his daughters and Steve, the last of whom almost ended up on the floor, rolling.
H50 H50 H50 H50
Danny needed rest, which he got after his medications and dinner, which was a hospital hamburger, meaning small and basic with the lettuce, tomato, and pickle slices, and a little ketchup and mustard. The sides were mashed potatoes and gravy (which almost had flavor), peas and carrots for vegetables, and cherry Jello with what looked like fruit cocktail in it. The best part was that all the portions were full-sized, and Danny ate the whole thing, and drank two hot teas and a pineapple juice with it.
Danny had given Angel a few tiny bites of hamburger, which she now loved with something akin to addiction, and in desperation Danny had asked the nurse if the kitchen had any tuna they could give her, so she had been presented with a little plate of canned tuna. Normally Angel was a nibbler (exceptions: hamburger and tuna), but she had smelled the tuna and put her eating speed on 'vacuum', and was now in such sleepy, full-tummy bliss that Danny suspected he could stop breathing and she would just sigh contentedly and keep smiling, curled up on his collar bones, emitting her occasional tuna-scented burps.
Again, he and his kitten were not alone. The only visitor who remained was Steve. He too had been served a dinner tray, but his also came with a dinner roll, and a second burger. He hogged the roll with Danny's blessing, but very kindly split the extra burger with Danny, and had coffee instead of tea. "This sure beats MREs, any day," said Steve, showing his comfortable lack of table manners around his best friend.
"If Stan had filled that box with Meals Ready to Eat, I think I would have killed him when I got out." Danny's voice was into serious laryngitis. He could little more than whisper, and even then the pitch could be anything, as long as it was high. Steve said he sounded like a wheezing, pre-pubescent mouse on helium.
Steve chuckled. "Some are actually not bad. It depends. If it's the kind you add water to and wait for it to reconstitute, eh, luck of the draw. But if it's those tubes of nutrient paste, yeah. But even that stuff is better than a dab of additive-filled peanut butter. Which reminds me! I got a call from the team analyzing your plan of getting out of the box." Steve hesitated, because he didn't want to trigger Danny's PTSD, which was so much improved over how it had first seemed.
But Danny just cupped Angel's back and asked, "Yeah?" with no distress added to his lack of voice.
So Steve told him, "They said they think your plan would have worked, within the time you had before the peanut butter and cat food ran out." He emphasized, "You would have made it out had we not found you. It would have been close, but you would have survived. The only reason you ran into trouble was the injuries. But even then, considering we were onto Stan and Rachel, we would have found you."
Danny leaned his head back against his pillows, and gazed out the window at the stars emerging after sunset. It meant a lot to Danny to know that he would have been able to get out of the box. The main fear he had had was that he was never sure his plan would have worked, and if it hadn't, Angel's life would have been at risk. If he had succumbed, how would Angel have hung on until she was found? She would have run out of water, and Danny could not think about that without feeling cold and shivery. He was glad to know he would have survived, but in a strange way even more glad that Angel would have been saved, too.
"Thank you for telling me that." He reached out and squeezed Steve's hand. Steve squeezed back.
"You're doing so much better. You had me –all of us—worried for a bit there. You're so much improved now. I'm glad."
Danny's eyes teared up as he nodded, and Steve stuffed a Kleenex into his hand while Angel hugged his face and began her comforting purr, her breath smelling vaguely still of tuna. "I do feel a lot better. I know there are some tough things ahead, and the thing with Rachel, but I still feel a lot better. I know I can handle this, because I have amazingly supportive friends."
Steve hesitated, but decided to test the waters again. "Danny, I went to see Rachel yesterday morning."
Danny was not surprised. There had been something in the back of Steve's eyes, a secret he had not shared, which would have worried Danny more had not the rest of things been so positive. "It went badly, didn't it?" If it had gone well, Steve would already have told him.
"Pretty much FUBAR, Danny. I recorded our conversation."
"Ah. I think I feel up to hearing it. But you know PTSD better than I do. Do you think I'm up to hearing it, Steve?"
Danny watched Steve closely. He had brought out a little tape recorder, the kind not much bigger than some of the bigger cell phones. Steve was fiddling with it. "I just don't want to set you back."
Danny considered that for several seconds that felt a lot longer. He finally said, "I'm not sure anything can set me back to where I was, because I'm just not there anymore. I'm alive. I get a fresh start. I'm healing. Strangers are writing to me and giving me help to get back on my feet. I've got my kids. I've got Becca. I've got you, brother, and lots of caring friends. Rachel is of the past. I'm starting a new chapter now. Rachel," Danny repeated, "is part of the past."
Steve nodded, and held Danny's hand. "If this gets to be too much, squeeze my hand. Let me know. Okay?"
"Deal."
So Steve played the tape, and watched the monitors that were still getting readings of Danny's pulse, blood pressure, breathing, and the oxygen saturation in his blood. The tape did affect Danny's numbers, but nothing got alarming. At the end of the tape, Danny was breathing more quickly, and his blood pressure was elevated somewhat. Danny had squeezed his hand, but more from tension and surprise than overload.
Danny slowly relaxed by force of will against the pillows. The head of the bed had been elevated for comfort hours ago, so it was easy for Danny to look at Steve. At no time did he consider shutting him out. "The one thing I never threw at her was suspicion of infidelity," Danny finally said. "I did suspect, but I wasn't sure. So this does and doesn't surprise me. I'm glad the baby may not have been mine. But it was still an innocent baby, so whose it was doesn't make any difference to my feelings there. As for being blackmailed, she's wrong when she thinks I'll cave, Steve. Because I know something she doesn't know I know. She can't go this far in a pregnancy without needing a cesarean to deliver, and that includes aborting. Her womb is damaged. That's why Charlie was a C-section. I'm guessing the second abortion may be why her womb is … whatever it is. I never knew then, and didn't ask."
"Why did they tell you all that?" asked Steve.
Danny hunched his shoulders briefly. "One of the nurses told me when Charlie was born, before she realized I wasn't the father. So Rachel is not going to abort this late because she knows it means full-on surgery."
"But what about the rest of it, Danny? I mean, tossing Grace's paternity in there…?"
Danny's numbers shot up again on the monitors. "Well, it was a good thing you thought that out and were prepared. Because Grace is mine. I've known it all along, and even a negative paternity test would not change that she is my daughter. I remember seeing that paper, showing Grace and Charlie are full blood siblings. I only saw that as proof I was Charlie's dad, but it does mean I'm Grace's too, and Rachel hit low with that."
"Yeah, she did." Steve was still holding Danny's hand, and he gave it a squeeze before letting go and filling their cups with ice water. "So, do you know what you will say to her?"
Danny shook his head as he took a sip and let an ice chip melt on his tongue. "No, not exactly. But I know she won't like it." His blue eyes were chilly, but not lost when he explained, slowly. "She is someone I used to know, or thought I knew, and who I can forgive, Steve, but who I can't be around anymore. I will go see her, once, when I am allowed. And then, I hope I never lay eyes on her again."
"What if she forces a trial?"
Danny shook his head, confidently. "She won't. Because she knows she has a lot more to lose than I do. As much as she is willing to hurt me, she won't slit her own throat."
"But she says she has more secrets."
Danny turned his gaze toward the winking stars beyond his window. "So do I, Steve. So do I."