I&G 17: Anna

I spent an excessive amount of time staring at Ned. I believe that I am in shock, still not processing that Robb and I created this little boy.

I was so nervous around the infant, which was ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to raise him to be the best ruler he could be. Little Ned, my baby boy, would be the King in the North. If we won this war.

I shook my head, banishing all thoughts of losing. We would win. I would make sure we won, for my baby.

It bothered me immensely that I couldn't feed Ned from my breast. I had to give him his food and my warmth separately. I wondered if I was a common woman, what would I do?

Would I abandon Ned on the side of the road?

The very thought made me sit up in my bed and pick up Ned from his crib. His blue eyes, Robb's eyes, opened at the disturbance. "Sorry Ned," I said. "I can't bear the thought of losing you, my son."

I knew that Ned couldn't understand a word I was saying, but I imagined that his eyes were saying, "I understand, Mama."

It was ridiculous.

For the first week after the birth, the mid wives insisted that I stay in bed. It was irritating, but gave me time to bond with Ned and heal from the birth.

Luckily, after the first week, I was ready to actually do something. That was the day that Stannis, who has proclaimed himself as the rightful king of the Seven Kingdoms, sent his letter, claiming that Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen were bastards.

As I sat in the council room with it in my hands, I closed my eyes. "Did you know of this?" some lord had demanded. "No," I stuttered, trying not to choke on the lie. "I-I-" Ser Rodrik rescued me, "The Queen is as surprised as we are. She must be feeling betrayed. Leave her be,"

I reminded myself to thank him later.

"How do we know that she isn't a bastard?" Another lord asked. I turned to him, fury evident in my eyes. "Are you blind, my lord? I didn't realize I had blonde hair," My voice was full of venom.

Lord Whitehill, yes that was his name, was shocked. "I apologize, your Grace,"

"I am tired," I said, standing up, "Excuse me, my lords." I didn't wait for them to say anything and bundled up my dark green dress.

I sighed and decided to visit Ned. "Oh Ned," I sighed. He looked up to me and cooed. That brought a smile to my face, and I picked him up.

The nursery he was in was next to Robb's and I's chambers, and was personally designed by myself. Grey curtains, countless toys and books, with his crib under the mobile. It had been moved from my bedroom after my bed rest has been lifted.

I rocked the infant and walked over to the window, where a soft couch stood. I sat down, and was eye level with the window, and could see into the courtyard. I often sat on the couch, with Ned in my arms. It was comforting. I think that the little prince liked looking out on all the action of the courtyard.

"If we weren't in a war," I told him, "We would have a large tourney to celebrate your birth." He giggled. "Lords and ladies and knights from all over would come to joust, to try and win. Then, the winner would crown a woman the Queen of love and beauty. Once, when I was only a little girl, my mother held a tourney for my tenth nameday. A handsome knight from the Reach won, and gave me the crown of red flowers. I giggled at him.

"One day, when this war is done, you might ride in tourneys and give a crown to your lady love,"

The thought made me tear up a little, and hold Ned closer. Parents always said there little ones grew up so fast. "Soon you'll be wearing a crown and sitting in the seat of Winterfell," I laughed, but I could taste the salt from my tears on my lips.

• • •

Soon enough, Winterfell was alive again. It reminded me of when I first came here, a Princess stinking of Summer. Now I was a queen, and a Stark one at that as well.

People were flocking to swear fealty to the new king, and to me as well, I suppose. The harvest feast was fast approaching as well.

Bran told me of his regrets that he couldn't go jousting with the others, but I just said, "Would you really want to be anywhere near those Walders?" He shrugged, and looked out his window. I had sighed and left the room.

I then went to Ned, and sat on the seat by the window. If I continued this, I would miss the council meeting. Then I noticed Bran on top of Hodor in the courtyard. I sighed, and put Ned in his cot. If I wanted to skip the meeting, than at least one Stark would have to be there, and Rickon was just a baby.

I went to the courtyard, only to hear one of the Walders say, "See, they're talking to each other. Maybe 'hodor' means 'I love you' in horse." I could see Bran's face getting redder, and decided to intervene. "What is the meaning of this?" I asked.

"Oh nothing," Little Walder said. "It didn't sound like nothing. And you might want to trail that off with a 'Your Grace', boy." He snorted. "You're only a queen, not a king. You have as much power as Bran." Big Walder looked nervous.

"Come down off your horse," I said. He looked at me. "I just want to be on even ground with you," Little Walder finally looked a little intimidated, but did as I said.

"Come here," I commanded. He walked to me, casting a glance to his brother.

Then I struck my hand right across his cheek. Hard. He cried out in pain and clutched it. "Watch your tongue boy, or else you might lose it. You are a guest here, a ward, and don't forget that." I turned and called, "Come along Bran; we don't want to be late."

Children could be so difficult.

I think I was a good child, practicing all those lady arts, and paying attention to my studies. Other than the lusting over the Iron Throne.

I told one of my older friends, the daughter of some lord, and she said, "Being a ruler is more than just sitting on a throne and looking pretty. You have to attend countless meetings, take care of your citizen's every need, and still be close to your family and alliances, and sometimes you have to manage a war."

The younger me had scoffed. "I know that. I would love to listen to my citizen's concerns, and attend meeting to better the kingdom. I could make great alliances." I giggled. "I could have six children, for each of the other regions. I would marry one to each house; the Martells, the Tyrells, the Greyjoys, the Starks, the Tullys, and the Arryns." My friend had laughed, and suddenly, the air wasn't so heavy.

What I didn't realize was that I would mostly deplore these numerous meetings. Bran would often be there, but he got out of them when he could. I forced myself to go, telling myself that a queen needs to know what is actually happening in her kingdom.

It didn't sway the fact that these meetings were so utterly boring.

To me, it was just time spent away from my precious Ned. He'll have to attend these meetings when he's older as well, and the very thought made me laugh.

On that particular meeting, we discussed Lady Hornwood. I made sure to pay attention, sitting at the head of the table. I told the Maester that Prince Bran was feeling ill, and had caught a chill. Many a lord wanted to marry Lady Hornwood, after she lost both her husband and her single heir in the war. I had personally greeted her, giving her my condolences and making sure she was given every comfort.

Now every lord wanted to marry her, and take over her extensive lands. I made sure to press the issue that he needed appropriate time to grieve before any sort of arrangement to be struck.

After Lady Hornwood, we discussed a new currency. "Direwolves should be on the ones of the highest worth," I stated, and they agreed. Lord Manderly also talked of a war fleet, and I agreed with the necessity.

The next day, Lady Hornwood brought up Ramsay Snow. I shivered at the very name; most people, even in the South had heard the terrible rumors. "I promise you, my lady, you will not marry anyone against your will. You will be able to choose a suitable husband to live out your days with, or none at all." She seemed relived at the news.

"Any man who wishes to marry you can court you appropriately."

Would I one day marry off Ned?

I can only hope not.