Abby wanted to do something nice for Sam and Dean. They had helped Mommy and she liked them, but she knew that they were going to go away. They needed to help other people, and find their Mommy and Jack, the blonde lady and golden eyed teenager in their thoughts. When she had been hugging Sam, she could feel that he was sad. Sam sometimes felt that he was broken, and that no one could love him, so he liked her hug, but it made him sad too. Abby thought of the best way she could thank the brothers for their help. She knew what she wanted, but she didn't know how to do it. Then, just like the puzzle, something clicked in her brain and she knew exactly what to do. Reaching up, she put a hand on each of their faces.
She'd never done this before, but as she touched them, she could feel her own sparkles flow up and then down her arms until she was ready. Then she pushed and pulled at the same time. It was a little like that time when Miss Susan had let her ride her sled down the hill, exciting and scary and fun all at the same time. She could almost feel wind move her hair, the feeling was so strong. Abby had to close her eyes and just let it happen. What she wanted to do was show Sam and Dean how much they loved each other.
xxxxxxx
At first Dean felt Abby in his mind again. It was faster this time. The little girl just walked right into his head as if it was nothing. She seemed to be searching for something. Dean knew he should pull away from her hand. After all, there were huge chunks of his memories and thoughts that were entirely inappropriate for a child to see or know. Plus, he didn't like the idea of anyone, even a sweet little girl poking around in his noggin. But he felt frozen in place, as if her gentle fingers on his face formed a link between them. Dean didn't know how to block off the parts of his brain that could hurt or terrify Abby, but he did know that he could direct his mind away from his memories of Hell, or his time in Purgatory. He tried to find something to focus on before she stumbled into something damaging. Looking up he saw Sam and as they often did, his memories turned to his little brother. Dean remembered the first time he had looked into Sam's face.
It was funny. He had been younger than Abby was now. He couldn't remember his father's strong hands lifting him up to his mother's bed. He couldn't remember the sounds or the smells of the hospital. Hell, he couldn't clearly remember his mother's face, but somehow he could distinctly remember looking at the tiny bundle of blue blankets his mother had placed into his small arms. Sammy had been little more than a pink scrunch of rosebud lips and dark eyelashes, but as Dean looked at him, even at 4 years old he had felt the love for his brother swell within him.
Abby seemed to stop and watch that memory. Normally Dean would have done everything in his power to keep that private, but Abby's presence didn't feel intrusive. Instead, it felt like she had found what she was looking for. Almost like following a string, she traced his feelings for Sam outward from that first source memory through all the countless times he felt love for his brother. Dean felt a delicate tug and he gasped. With a tender insistence, Abby was drawing his feelings from him - not to take them away, but to stretch them beyond himself. Dean slapped a hand over hers, but didn't pull her fingers from his face. His eyes snapped to Sam's.
xxxxxxx
At first when Sam felt Abby enter his mind again, he thought she was just saying goodbye. He carefully checked that the doors within himself that hid the memories of his unspeakable horrors and all of his most broken parts were firmly shut. Then he reached out to say goodbye. But Abby was searching for something. He offered to help, but she ignored him, intent on exploring his memories and thoughts. Part of Sam cringed. This felt similar in some ways to the many times he had been violated against his will by ghosts, demons, angels. But a bigger part could feel the benevolent innocence of the young girl, and it was somehow soothing. He stayed where he was for now and let her look through his mind. He wondered what his brother thought about having Abby in his head. Sam was actually surprised that Dean hadn't broken away from the little girl. His brother had always been uncomfortable with any sort of psychic thing. Dean preferred things he could touch, taste, see and kill. Normally the last thing Dean would want was to have someone inside his head. Thinking about his brother seemed to draw Abby's attention. She followed his thought back to one of Sam's earliest memories.
He was too young to remember the details - Dean would know, but Sam just remembered the storm. Dean and he were alone at night in some crappy motel room Dad had left them in. Dean couldn't have been much more than eight years old. There was a fierce rain storm. The lightning and thunder were almost constant and the sound had startled him out of his sleep. Sam remembered being terrified as thunder crashed and the building was pelted with hailstones. But Dean had made a fort out of the sheets and blankets and had cuddled Sam for hours, calming him down and distracting him with games and stories. Finally when the storm had rolled away, he remembered being curled up in Dean's arms and feeling such love for his big brother that he thought he would explode.
It was a good memory, although Sam was puzzled that Abby had tracked it down. Then he felt a pulling, as if she were dragging that memory and all the others that evoked the same feeling, that same love for Dean, outwards towards herself. Then, somehow, inexplicably, Sam felt something new. Tentatively he reached out with his mind. His eyes shot up to meet Dean's. His brother's green eyes were wide, not with fear, but with awe.
"Sammy," Dean whispered, reaching out a hand as if to catch his balance. Sam instinctively stuck out his arm and Dean grabbed it. When Dean's hand touched the bare skin of his wrist, it was like completing an electrical circuit. Sam heard Abby to gasp as a wave of pure emotion surged through the three of them.
Sam felt Dean's love for him with an intensity that was almost too much to bear. His eyes were locked with Dean's. He felt every time Dean had cared for him, rescued him, praised him, teased him, hugged him - everything that made Sam feel capable and worthy and loved. Tears sprung into his eyes. Dean had once said that there was nothing that he would ever put above Sam, and for the first time, Sam understood the depth and breadth of what Dean truly felt. It was amazing. Sam impulsively sent a surge of love back through the link to his brother.
xxxxxx
Dean couldn't really understand what was happening. First he had felt stretched and distorted as the little girl, still touching his face, had pulled his feelings down the connection she had created. Then when he had touched Sam's arm something had changed. Dean had been shocked to actually feel Sam's mind, both new and strange yet intensely familiar at the same time. As he stared into Sam's eyes, he could feel his love for his brother flowing through him, via Abby to Sam. Dean knew that his love for Sam was the best part of him. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Sam, and somehow through this connection, he was able to tell Sam that in more than words. Dean watched as tears of joy gathered in Sam's eyes, a swell of pride rising in his own heart. He should feel embarrassed that this child had exposed every soft, vulnerable part of his soul to his brother, but he just didn't.
Then in a rush of emotion, he felt Sam reach into his mind. Where Dean's emotions seemed to flood out of him in a tidal surge of feeling, Sam's feeling poured into his in a gentle flow. Dean felt more and more loved, almost beyond what he could accept. Always he had felt unworthy of Sam, but now he was feeling everything. Every moment when Sam admired him, cared for him, teased him, worried for him, hugged him - all of it just washed over the barriers he usually used to protect himself. There was no judgement or anger or resentment from Sam. Dean could feel his own eyes grow damp, as he was awed by the depth and breadth of what Sam truly felt for him. It soothed a part of Dean's soul that he didn't know was raw.
xxxxxx
Abby was panting. This connection between the three of them was making her really tired. She wanted to cry and laugh and jump with all the feelings that were going through her. Like when Mommy swished a spider down the drain, Abby felt like she was getting washed away in everything flowing through her between Sam and Dean. She opened her eyes, and saw that she was inside their cloud of sparkles. It was so pretty, but it hurt her eyes and she couldn't catch her breath. She wanted to stop, but she didn't know how exactly. She felt dizzy and the sparkles dancing in her eyes made her tummy feel sick. For the first time Abby was a little scared. Abby heard a little squeak, like a mouse, but it was her that made the noise. She felt Dean look at her for a second then he was pulling her hand away from his face.
Moving her fingers from his skin seemed to break the flow. She still felt their feelings, but it was calmer now. She didn't feel so weird. Sam also pulled her hand away from his cheek. Abby only felt the leftover parts of their feelings now, but her legs felt funny and she wanted to sit down.
"Abby, are you okay," Sam asked. The wrinkle in his forehead was back. Now that it was only her thoughts inside of herself, she felt better, but still kind of shaky. She felt Sam's big hand on her back helping her sit. She plopped right down on the bed by Mommy's legs. It was funny. Abby felt like a lot had happened, but when she looked at Mommy, her eyes were closed. Mommy had fallen asleep. That seemed like a good idea. She was so tired. Dean reached out and tucked some of her hair behind her ears.
"You good, Abby?," Dean asked. They were both staring down at her and Abby could tell they were worried about her. She smiled at them, so happy that she was able to make her present happen.
"Just sleepy," she finally found the words to say. She snuggled down into the thin blanket next to Mommy, but made her eyes stay open to watch them. Their sparkles were so amazing. Some of the darker colours in Dean's sparkles had moved to Sam and some of his bright sparkles had moved to Dean. So pretty. Then Miss Susan came back into the room.
"Oh goodness, sorry that took so long," Miss Susan said. Abby just couldn't keep her eyes open any more. She felt when Miss Susan rubbed her back, but then she fell asleep.
xxxxxxx
"Poor munchkin, she's had a very stressful day, hasn't she," Susan whispered as Abby fell asleep right under her hand. "Thank you gentlemen for taking care of Melissa and Abby. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't found them? It's nice to know that there are still good men in this world." Dean smiled wryly, as Susan spoke she was casually ushering them to the door. Dean didn't mind, the experience they'd just been through was both wonderful and confusing. He felt exposed and a little freaked out, so he was glad to be making their escape.
"No problem, it was nice to meet you," said Sam, ever the polite one. "Please say goodbye to Melissa and Abby for us." Then with a nod at the older woman, Dean made for the exit. He was hyper aware of his brother at his side as he walked out of the sliding glass door and headed towards where he'd parked the car. The shape of his Baby helped Dean feel a little less out of control. He was still trying to sort through what exactly had happened back there when he pulled open the door and dropped into the familiar comfort of the driver's seat. Dean shoved the key into the ignition, but didn't turn it as Sam closed the door on his side. They sat in silence for a while until Sam cleared his throat.
Dean wasn't sure he could handle anything else right now. Knowing exactly how Sam felt about him was a wonderful gift, but it had stirred up emotions that Dean was used to keeping locked up. So, Dean spoke before his brother could.
"So, telepathic huh?," he turned towards Sam, a smile hopefully softening the question. Sam snorted softly.
"I guess, but I think it was Abby doing it. I don't think it's something that I can do by myself." Sam looked at him and Dean could see the faintest hint of fear in Sam's eyes. Dean just rolled his eyes. Hadn't he just finished pouring his heart and soul into this kid? How could Sam worry that Dean would reject him?
"Well, can you tell what I'm thinking now?," Dean asked Sam. The younger man narrowed his eyes.
"No, of course not.," Sam said.
"That's too bad, because if you could, you'd know that I am starving!," Dean said with a wink as he cranked the powerful engine to life. "Let's get out of here, grab some burgers and head back to the bunker." Sam huffed out a laugh and flashed a relieved smile at him.
"Sure, sounds good, Dean." With that, Sam settled back in his usual spot in the seat, head resting against the window. Dean snapped on the radio, and pulling the car out of the parking lot, pointed them towards home.
THE END
AN: Hope everyone enjoyed this, and that no one was disappointed with Abby's "gift" to the boys. Feel free to tell me your thoughts! Special thanks to all my readers and reviewers, your encouragement means the world.