Chapter 56 "Danny & Becca"
A/N: (23 May 2017) Once again, I must thank you all for the reviews I did not expect for a chapter featuring cabbages! I especially enjoyed hearing your opinions on cabbages, and cole slaw, and even beets, and I learned so much, and I thank you so heartily! You are good people, kind, and just wonderful!
This chapter was slow because the yard broke, and I got sick (allergies ugh 5000000 times!) and then I literally had a hard time coming up with the music I needed to have in my head for this particular story. But when I found it, it just "sang" if you will, and the writing came fast then. I hope you enjoy it.
CBS owns all things Hawaii Five-0, so we write for fun and make no money at all from it. We just have fun.
Chapter 56 "Danny & Becca"
(Thursday, 29 December 2016, 10:30 p.m.)
The light was off in Danny's hospital room, but it was still lit, for he kept the late nite talk show on the TV, but the sound was muted, and his mind was on the little screen of a tablet device, casting a golden tone to his face as he watched intently. He was using earbud earphones, noise cancelling, with good sound, and was focused, listening over and over to a song he had found on YouTube. It was Evynne Hollens* singing her cover of "Burn" from the Broadway musical Hamilton: An American Musical. He had listened to the song a half dozen times already, and was just starting on the seventh "replay" when he heard the rap on the doorframe on his door. He paused the video and glanced over to see Becca, not in scrubs, smiling at him, holding cups of hot chocolate and smores on a little tray.
"Can I come in? Am I interrupting?" asked Becca, the sheen from her dark curls taking on the muted light in the room, her lip gloss shimmering just a little, the planes and softness of her face lovely as she stood in the doorway, backlit from the hallway, her features and figure hinted at from television's glow in the room.
"Please, come in," said Danny, his own face brightening with a warm smile as he held out his hand to Becca. "You're just the person I wanted to see. I'm so glad you came by. Turn on the light." He wanted to see her, and without fully realizing it, he wanted her to see him, as if this half-light was hiding truths he did not want to keep from her. He flicked off the TV and put the remote back on the bedstand as the overhead light came on.
"What were you doing?" asked Becca, her voice the one Danny heard in his dreams, and his waking hours. He loved her voice. "I'm surprised to find you alone. Where's Steve? Angel is fine, by the way. Asleep."
Danny chuckled at that. Even his kitten was back at the Cornett house, having spent most of the day at the hospital, even when Danny was gone for a while, with Steve, as he talked with Rachel at the prison, and then snuck with Steve to get some lunch, and even more secretively went to the jeweler's to pick out engagement rings for their fiancées.
"I think Dr. Cor … your dad threatened him with a decontamination shower if he didn't go home and then stay there for a few hours to get some real sleep. Hannah stopped by, so he left with her, and I'm pretty sure your dad doesn't know, but if he does, he has decided to let adults be adults."
Becca smiled with that hint of mischief that drove Danny's heart happily crazy. "Oh, so she went to Steve's house. We better not tell my dad, especially if there might be showering involved. Hannah … well, she and Steve have something special, that's for sure."
"As do we," murmured Danny, eyes flicking again to the paused YouTube video. "The truth is that I needed a little time alone, but not from you. I was hoping we could talk. After the smores and hot chocolate. This sounds like Charlie and Grace finally are getting some sleep? If they have trouble, they like this before bed." He patted the edge of his bed and skootched over a bit to give her more room. "You look beautiful, by the way."
"Thank you!" said Becca, blushing sweetly as she moved toward his bed. Danny admired respectfully her floral cap-sleeved blouse and sky blue lightweight twill shorts and ballet flat shoes. "And you are especially right about Charlie. He's really starting to pick up that this is not as temporary as he thought, staying at my dad's house. He asked why they don't see their mom, or their house."
"Ah," said Danny, and took the tray from Becca as she climbed up onto the bed with him and gave him a loving kiss. "I'll have to talk with him about that. I will talk with the child psychologist first. Charlie is only 4."
"Four and a half," reminded Becca, handing Danny a hot chocolate, and a cooling smore. "He's very proud of that half." She looked at the paused video on Danny's tablet. "What's this?"
"It's a song I was listening to. I went looking for one I brought up to Steve this afternoon, 'Somebody That I Used To Know', and found a few versions, and one of them led to this song, and it's like I'm listening emotionally in a lot of ways to a female version of myself when my ex-wife became my ex-wife. It's a gorgeous song. Here." He handed her the earphones, and after she put them in, he hit replay, and watched the song, hearing it in his head because he had it memorized.
Burn
From Hamilton: An American Musical (Broadway show)
I saved every letter you wrote me.
From the moment I read them, I knew you were mine
You said you were mine
I thought you were mine.
Do you know what Angelica said, when we saw your first letter arrive?
She said, "Be careful with that one, Luv; he will do what it takes to survive."
You and your words flooded my senses
Your sentences left me defenseless
You built me palaces out of paragraphs
You built cathedrals.
I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me
I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line, for some kind of sign,
And when you were mine, the world seemed to burn … burn.
You will publish the letters she wrote you.
You told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed.
In clearing your name you have ruined our lives.
Do you know what Angelica said, when she read what you've done?
She said, "You have married an Icarus. He has flown too close to the sun."
You and your words, obsessed with your legacy
Your sentences border on senseless
And you are paranoid in every paragraph
How they perceive you … youyouyou….
I'm erasing myself from the narrative.
Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted when you broke her heart.
You have torn it all apart-
I'm watching it burn, watching it burn…
The world has no place in my heart
The world has no place in my bed
They don't get to know what I said.
I'm burning the memories, burning the letters that might have redeemed you.
You forfeit all rights to my heart
You forfeit the place in our bed
You sleep in your office instead
With only of the memories of when you were mine.
I hope that you …
Burn.
Danny watched the video with Becca, glancing up often to see what her face revealed. She barely blinked, so intently did she listen and watch. When it ended, she touched the replay button, and it was only when the song came to an end again that she looked at Danny. She removed the earbuds and handed them back to Danny. "I've never heard this before. It's powerful." She cocked her head to one side. "I can tell that it means something to you. Are you," she began to ask, hesitantly, "still this angry at your ex?"
Danny put his arm around Becca's shoulder and held her against him. "That's just it: I'm not. But seven years ago, when I first came to Hawaii, I was. Every day was a battle with my demon anger. Every day I saw all this sunshine and warmth, when I was frozen inside, and under a dark cloud. But now …." He smiled wryly. "Back then, you would not have liked me, let alone loved me. I wouldn't have even begun to deserve you, which is something I'm still sure that I don't."
Becca smiled. "You do. Besides, the heart decides, doesn't it? What is that saying? 'Don't marry the man you can live with; marry the one you can't live without.' For me, that's you."
Their kiss was long and lingering, and at the end of it, their foreheads were touching, and they had matching quickened heartbeats, slowing together as one. Danny whispered, "I will probably never understand it, but I know I cannot live without you."
They drank their not-as-hot chocolate and ate their smores in companionable silence, and after, Becca asked why Danny had gone looking for the song that had lead him to 'Burn'. "Something was on your mind."
Danny nodded. "I had to go see Rachel this morning, and things went badly. She's now in the psyche ward at the prison, because she became hysterical and issued a bunch of threats that are probably hollow. One was against you, though she doesn't know your name. Steve told her I'm engaged, and it's fine if she has lovers and a new husband, and she apparently isn't threatened by me having a casual girlfriend, but woe to the world if I remarry."
Becca frowned, but with compassion. "She sounds very sad."
"I'm sure that's part of it, but it's more something I only realized after learning she and her God-rest-his-soul, about-to-be-divorced-from husband tried to kill me. Come on, Sweetheart, let's take a walk. The lanai? Is it allowed this late?"
Becca shrugged. "You wear a robe, and let's bring a blanket. We can stop at the nurses' station and tell them where you are. Obviously, your sleep medication did not work."
"I didn't take that one. I really needed to think."
"There hasn't been much chance for that, has there?"
"Not since my rescue from the box. I'm not complaining. But I needed some time alone."
H50 H50 H50 H50
It was only minutes later that the couple had settled, wrapped together in the blanket, on the bench on the lanai four doors down from Danny's room. Tripler was lit up with lights as it climbed the hillside, but they sat facing the Pacific, too far away to be heard, yet near enough that the salt tang in the air reached them, and the moon reflected on small waves in seas ruffled by a very gentle breeze. The stars were out like little diamonds scattered on a piece of velvet, especially concentrated in the Milky Way, almost directly above them.
"What a lovely night," sighed Becca, contentedly as she leaned against Danny's left side. She had the tablet and earbuds in her lap, but was ignoring both in favor of sharing the heavenly display with her fiance.
"I hated these nights when I first got to Hawaii. I was used to city lights, New York City in the distance. Now, I don't know what I was thinking, except that I was always angry."
Becca looked at Danny. "But not now? What changed?"
Danny looked into Becca's chocolate eyes. "My heart. My soul. I got inducted into this group led by Steve, and found my reluctant self with an ohana, and that helped. Friends I didn't appreciate became family I loved. I had my time with Grace, always precious, and later added Charlie. The anger lessened, almost without me being aware it was receding. And then, the box. I had so much time to think in there while I was working to try to escape. I had to come to terms with what mattered in life, and what didn't. I thought of you a lot, and vowed to date you if you would have me, when I got out. When, not if. Every time I thought 'if', I finally slapped myself, because negativity would not get me out of there, and back to those I love, who love me."
Becca kissed him, then laid her head on his shoulder. "I prayed for you. I worried so much about you. I loved you already."
"I'm glad, but will never understand it. And yet, I realized I loved you."
"Do we have a song?" asked Becca, turning to look at Danny.
He smiled in that special way that was only for her. "We do! Put in the earbuds."
Becca did, and Danny took the tablet and typed in The Man From Snowy River Jessicas Theme**, and hit the right choice when several popped up. He knew it by heart, a delicate piano piece from a movie most people have forgotten about.
Becca listened to it three times, and then they set the tablet down on the bench, the volume very low, and the couple danced to it, Danny leading, even dipping Becca at an appropriate time in the music. They played it several times, and had no idea nurses had come to the door and were watching, trying to stay out of sight. Then Danny switched the selection to Twin Soliloquies*** from South Pacific. When Danny and Becca slowed and began kissing, their audience let out silent sighs, and left them alone with the music, the stars, and the gentle breeze.
"I love you, Becca," Danny said softly but clearly, and dipped her again, and kissed her again, and their silent audience sighed almost jealously, while Becca sighed with pure joy.
.
.
*Evynne Hollens and her husband Peter Hollens are singers/performers from the Eugene, OR area. They are good people! Peter is perhaps better known, especially for his intricate and lush a capella songs which can feature up to 120 tracks, so unless stated otherwise, he sings all the parts. I had never heard anything like it before. He has done collaborations with many artists, notably Lindsay Stirling (their Skyrim cover [Peter sings it in Dragonkin language from the video game] is one of my forever faves), for he has been on YouTube for over 4 years now, and Evynne at least 1, probably longer. Evynne is probably best known for her Disney Princess song covers, and wow! I only stumbled upon them a few months ago, and instantly I supported them both through , and wish I had found their music a lot sooner than I did. I do not know them personally (I wish) but support them and this is the only venue I have to get their names out to quite a few people at once. I mention them not to drum up more patrons for them, tho that won't hurt anything, but because literally this track, Burn, fit this chapter. I had not heard it until last week, and then the chapter began to really take shape.
**The Man From Snowy River: Jessica's Theme (Breaking The Colt) is one of my all-time favorites ever, and I've listened to it hundreds of times over the many years I have known of it. It is delicate and romantic, and when I went looking for the right music for this chapter, since it revolves around music, I needed something for Danny and Becca, and this came immediately to mind. I'm sure there are a hundred other songs that would suit them as well, but this one is the one my mind chose.
***Twin Soliloquies is the one Emile and Nellie sing silently to themselves when they are each realizing they want to marry the other. Another forever favorite from childhood onward. I didn't even know it had a name until this chapter demanded music. 😉