Chapter Twenty-One
"C'mon, take a sip, it's not that bad." Sam said and held the bottle out to Beth, "What are you a chicken shit?"
"Shut up, Sam." Beth giggled at her friend and pushed the bottle away, Sam shrugging and raising it back to her lips, "We're not old enough."
"Oh don't be such a fuddy duddy, Beth. After the shitty hand you've just been dealt in the game of life, I'd be turnin' up the bottle."
"I'm not like you, Sam." Beth said and pulled her light jacket around her shoulders, scooting the citronella candle closer to her to ward off mosquitoes and other nightly pests. Sam smiled and scooted closer to her on the picnic table, holding the bottle out for her.
"What's it gonna hurt?" Jimmy asked and Sam tilted it side to side in front of her face. Beth looked from Jimmy to Sam, then at the bottle and sighed.
"Fine, I'll take a sip. But ONE sip. Will you stop persterin' me then?"
"Cross my heart." Sam promised as she made the 'X' motion over her chest with a perfectly manicured nail. Beth reached out and took the bottle, hesitantly placing it against her lips and wrinkling her nose up when she smelled it.
"You know I swore to myself I'd never take a single sip of alcohol after my father went through his alcoholic stage."
"Oh you'll be fine, it's one drink." Sam said and Beth let out a breathy laugh, raising the bottle and feeling the liquid slide between her lips and into her mouth. She lowered the bottle, her face twisting and sticking out her tongue as she handed Sam back the bottle.
"Ew, that's awful how can you drink that crap?" Beth asked and Sam and Jimmy both laughed.
"Once you've had a few you get used to it." Jimmy answered and Beth shook her head again.
"I don't see how in the world you get used to it."
"Because it helps ease the pain." Sam said and Beth quieted, eyeing the bottle again. Is that why her father drank? To ease the pain of losing his first wife, Maggie's mom? Maybe she could drink one, and only one and make herself relax and feel better.
"You okay, babe?" Sam asked and Beth looked up from the bottle.
"I'm fine." she answered quietly and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. Same moved the candle and moved next to her, wrapping her arm around her back and pulling Beth against her. The young blonde rested her head on her friend's shoulder and swallowed back the lump in her throat. She was tired of crying. Tired of crying over someone who left, who didn't care, someone who didn't need her anymore.
"You want us to take you to get somethin' to eat?" Jimmy asked as he knelt down in front of her, placing a hand on her knee. She shrugged her shoulders and placed her hand on top of his and he gave her a soft smile, "C'mon, Beth, you look like you haven't eaten yet."
"Can we go to Applebees?" she asked and Sam laughed softly.
"Yeah, let's go there. I like their steaks." Sam said and Jimmy helped Beth to stand up, placing his arm around her shoulders as they headed back to Jimmy's truck.
"So Daryl left this afternoon, huh?" Rick asked as he, Hershel and Lori who had their new baby Judith cradled in her arms, sat outside on the front porch. The crickets were chirping loudly and the frogs croaking along with them. Carl was out in the front yard tossing a football back and forth with Glenn and Maggie, Maisy running around the yard with the new dog Rick picked up from the pound.
"I was actually kinda sad to see him go." Hershel said as Annette came outside with a tray of coffee, sitting next to Lori on the porch swing after setting the tray down on the outdoor coffee table, "He's been a good help around here, one of the best farmhands I ever did have."
"He was a good guy, I just hope he can keep himself out of trouble. That brother of his is no good. Shane and I arrested him not too long ago for public intoxication and making threats to the bartender after he was cut off."
"How's Beth handlin' it?" Lori asked as she placed Judith's pacifier back in the infant's mouth after she started to fuss and heard Annette sigh.
"Not too well. She had really taken to that young man and it just broker her heart when he left." the older woman answered as she and Lori pushed the swing gently with their feet, rocking Judith back into sleep.
"Being in love is never an easy thing to handle." Lori said and Hershel looked at the both of them, "What, you couldn't tell?"
"What're you ladies talkin' about?" he asked and they both laughed softly.
"Oh dear, you couldn't tell? Beth was in love with him, head over heels. No wonder it crushed her heart when he left. Poor thing I found her cryin' in the washroom after getting all the laundry from the guest house. I offered to go over there for her and do it but she refused, said she could do it and that it had always been her chore whenever we had guests over. Lo and behold I walked into the kitchen and heard her snifflin' and whimperin' while she was switchin' the laundry over."
"You think she'd like to come over and help me with Judith some? Maybe take her mind off of it? I know Carl enjoys when she comes over, and Beth has been all over Judith since she was born. Plus I love her company and she helps me make some of the best dinners I've ever had when Rick is comin' home late from work."
"I'll ask her tomorrow about that. I'm sure she'd love to and it'll keep her mind off Daryl some." Annette said before taking a sip of her coffee.
"I'll keep an eye out for him, Hershel, make sure if he's around here he's behavin' and keepin' himself outta trouble. If I have to haul him in I'll make sure to give you a call." Rick said and stretched his legs out in front of him as he pushed back in the rocking chair.
"I appreciate that." Hershel said and looked over at the group out in the front yard.
Daryl kicked a piled of empty beer cans out of his way as he walked towards the bathroom in the ratty old apartment, using the wall as support to try and hold himself up. The room felt like it was spinning and he could barely keep from tripping over himself when he found the tiny room. He shuffled over to the toilet, kicking the lid up and watching it rock side to side on top of old busted and dirty tile. He rested his arm against the wall over the toilet and leaned forward to rest his forehead on his arm while he relieved himself, closing his eyes and trying to keep himself standing.
"Damn, my fucking head." he mumbled to himself after he flushed the toilet, moving to the sink and cutting the water on. He tossed an old syringe out of the sink and washed his hands, glancing up at himself in the mirror at his reflection broken up by the cracks in the glass.
Broken. Is that what he was already? The first night gone from the Green family farm and he was already in a shithole. He cupped his hands under the water and splashed it on his face, hearing footsteps coming down the hallway.
"Y'okay?" the slurred voice asked. He looked up at the t-shirt and lace panty clad woman in the doorway to the bathroom, a bottle of whiskey in her hand.
"I'm fine."
"Ya show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night, piss drunk sayin' ya need to use the commode and ya got this look on ya face like ya gon' kill a sonofabitch. What's goin' on with ya, Dixon?" she asked as she ran her fingers through her tousled red hair, wiping smeared mascara off of her cheek.
"Nuthin', I just needed to take a piss and your apartment was closest."
"I'll be out in the livin' room when you're done." she said and shuffled away from the bathroom and down the hallway. He soon followed when he heard a soft tapping noise and sank down on the old stained armchair in the tiny living room while he watched the red head rolling a dollar bill. He watched as she leaned over, placing a finger against her nose to close one nostril as she brought the rolled dollar up to the other before she sniffed up a white powdered line on the coffee table.
"Mmm, damn good stuff." she muttered and tilted her head back, sniffing in hard again to make sure she had it all up there, "Want any?" Daryl shook his head and the offered dollar and she shrugged, tossing it back on the table as she laid back on the couch.
"Thanks for lettin' me in, Sarah."
"Ain't no problem. I figured the face you was makin' when I opened my door you was 'bout to kill Merle, and well I ain't lettin' my friend go to jail for murder. You an' me, we go way back to elementary school, Daryl, I'll always look out for ya." the woman said and looked over at him with a smile. She looked older than thirty-five, wrinkles already pulling at the corners of her eyes and mouth and she had a few empty spaces where brilliant white teeth used to be that sparkled in her Homecoming Queen pictures in their old yearbooks. Merle was what started her down this path. She was a freshman in college when she first met Daryl's older brother, and had been obsessed with his bad boy image and the addiction to the risky lifestyle. Much to her parents dismay she dropped out of college before her first semester finished to party with Merle and his buddies. Once she got hooked on the lifestyle and the drugs, there was no pulling her back to her old self. Daryl had found her a few times on the street corner looking for a customer who could offer her enough money to get her fix and also pay the bills. And there had been a few times he saw her the next day with bruises decorating her usually pale skin after a bad night with a bad customer.
"If ya get hungry, there's ramen in the cabinet and some cereal, and I think the milk is still good. Don't eat the pizza though, I gotta toss that. I'm hittin' the hay, Dixon. Yell if ya need anythin' and you already know where the bathroom is. Try and sleep off that alcohol. Whatever's botherin' you, it'll get better I promise." Sarah said as she stood and stretched, her shirt coming up to reveal a stomach that was no longer firm and muscular like it had been in school when she was on the volleyball team. The skin was loose and decorated with stretch marks from the small child that had been taken away from her after multiple DUIs and drug charges. The father, if he remembered correctly, had been a man who had planned on free services one night and when she refused, stole them anyway. After that Daryl had tried to help her get off the street corners and took her to all of her doctor appointments and job interviews to try and better herself. But shortly after her baby, a little girl that would now be around six years old, was born she couldn't hold a job long for using again. He watched her leave and moved to the couch, kicking his shoes off and trying to fluff one of the old beaten down throw pillows. He went to lay down and looked back over at the coffee table, seeing a small pile still next to the razor blade. He had tried only a few times, mostly when Merle had sat there and called him names until he finally gave in to shut him up. He laid down and looked up at the old ceiling fan that was rocking side to side as it spun before closing his eyes.
"I'm here for you Daryl, that's what friends do. I'm here for you, and I always will be. I ain't gonna go anywhere, and I ain't gonna abandon you either."
"Dammit Greene get the fuck outta my head." he moaned and jerked the pillow out from under his head, crushing it down on his face and groaning as he remembered her face that night in the barn, how the moonlight cast a soft glow on it. She looked like an angel and drew him in like a devil.
"I promise, Daryl."
"Fuck it." he snapped and tossed the pillow down, sitting up and licking the pad of his finger. He placed it in the powder, coating it and rubbing it along his gums. He knew she wouldn't approve, knew if she was there and saw that she would flip her shit and chew his ass from Atlanta to New York and back. But she wasn't there. She was back home in her warm and comfy bed back on the farm in her cozy pajamas either reading or working on papers for school. Or she was sitting on the porch swing with Maggie drinking sweet tea and talking about going out with Jimmy. He should have punched that shithead in the damn face when he had a chance.
Beth wasn't in her comfy bed wearing her cozy pajamas. She had just pulled up to the house, her dashboard telling her it was well past midnight and nearing one in the morning. She grabbed her purse and walked up to the door, sliding inside and shutting the heavy front door slowly.
"Well you're late."
"Crap, Maggie, did you have to sneak up on me like that?" Beth hissed after dropping her purse out of fright. Maggie walked into the foyer from the living room and leaned against the wall, arms crossed as she watched her sister reach down and snatch her purse up.
"If you didn't come home so late you had to sneak in I wouldn't have had to been so quiet sneakin' up on you. You've been drinking."
"Says who."
"Says the smell of alcohol everytime you open your mouth."
"I ain't drunk." Beth snapped and started walking towards the kitchen for a glass of water, "I only had one."
"I know you're not drunk, Beth. But that's how daddy started. I'm worried for you. He's gone for one night and look at you."
"I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm not gonna sit and cry and gain ten pounds eating a carton of ice cream and watching sad movies like we used to during break ups. I won't drink anymore, it was a one time thing, and I only had one." Maggie followed her into the kitchen, watched her take a few sips out of a bottle of water and watched as she played with the cap to the water bottle in her hands. She stepped forward and pulled Beth against her, resting her chin on top of her silky blonde hair.
"Beth..." she said when she heard a small sniffle.
"I miss him, Maggie."
"I know, sweetie. I know you do."
"Mags?"
"Hm?"
"What does love feel like?" Maggie ran her fingers through her sisters hair, closing her eyes and trying to think of an explanation to give Beth.
"I think you already know, sweetie."
"Well it sucks." She couldn't help but chuckle and heard Beth let out a soft giggle.
"I know, it really does. But it doesn't all the time. Now come on, go brush your teeth and get in the bed. Take a shower in the mornin' and get that smell off of ya. I'll throw your clothes in the laundry first thing in the morning. I love ya, Bethy."
"I love ya too, Mags."