Chapter 63 "Flare"

A/N: (12 July 2017) You are so caring and thoughtful with your reviews, I owe you all replies, and I've instead been shanghaied by this story which is intent upon driving us all insane. I'm right with you there! This chapter caught me by surprise. I thank you and love you all, I just can't *tell* you like I want to until this thing's grip loosens a bit.

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Chapter 63 "Flare"

(Friday, 30 December 2016, 2:30 p.m.)

Danny Williams had just had the cast removed from his hand, and was studying his forever scarred right thumb. Dr. Cornett had told him that he was not on the verge of sepsis. He could go home that night. To Steve's. He was healing.

He was healing. Physically. But he could not help but feel sick that Stan had ever touched him, let alone … everything else the man had done. He had tried to destroy his life, and Danny had not even gotten started on hating the man for how he had hurt Grace and Charlie. Just because they were his kids, not Stan's, was no reason to do his best to take so much from them! Stan had almost left them fatherless.

When he looked at Angel, who was getting acquainted with his thumb now that the cast was off of it, he wanted to burst into tears again. Stan had intended for Angel to die, too. A kitten! A kitten, it turned out, who had an unusual gift of sensing her person's emotional distress. Since Danny was her person, she sensed him. He was sure she would have been the same with whoever she had been adopted by, but he had been the lucky one, while Stan had intended for this little innocent to make Danny's imprisonment even more miserable, and the adorable kitten to feel hated. Stan had been foiled in that plan: kitten and human had fallen in deep love for one another. Danny would see to it that Angel's life was long and as happy as he could make it.

And then there were all the things Stan had done to Steve. They knew he had drugged him and tried to kill him, and by the grace of God had not succeeded in the latter. But it could be worse than that.

Danny knew Steve was aching about it, and aching about him, just as he was aching for Steve, and repulsed that he himself had been violated. He knew he had been. He just knew. Plus, he was still aching there. And when Steve, upon hearing about the possibility that he had been, too, had tried to hide the fact that he had made a phone call. First thing a rape victim does is not make a secret phone call. That had told Danny that Steve was hiding something from him, plus his phone had switched pockets from before and after the bathroom visit with the water and fan both running, and the low-volume voice not quite covered, except for the words.

Danny wondered who Steve had called.

Which likely meant, somehow, that Dr. Cornett knew something, too, since he hadn't reacted quite as he would have expected. He didn't know what exactly wasn't right, but something had been off. Maybe it was the five seconds too soon that he had offered to test them both for diseases. Like he already was planning to.

Bingo.

Dr. Cornett had been planning to test Danny. For more potential problems. He and Steve had head colds, and Steve had been to see the doctor to get his cast replaced. Something had upset him enough to forget to waterproof his cast. That meant Steve had evidence he was hiding from Danny (under the circumstances, just as he would have hidden it from Steve if the situation had been reversed), and he had gone to Dr. Cornett with it.

Danny knew he was a good detective, and because he was a good detective he thought of many possibilities, but discarded all but the one he knew was closest to the truth.

Stan had filmed what he had done, and the tape had been found and given to Steve by the findee. That person was who Steve had called.

So the other person who knew he'd been raped was most likely either Chin, or Kono. Or both? Neither had been by to see him today, nor called. Did this mean that … Danny clutched Angel to his chest, and burst into tears again. If there was evidence to show that Danny had been raped, and Steve as well, but they didn't want Danny to know, Steve would not have acted so shocked at the possibility. But he had been genuinely shocked at the very idea, when Danny suggested he be tested, too. What had in fact happened, Danny thought, was that Steve had not known how to tell Danny that he didn't need testing, because they knew he hadn't been raped, but they knew Danny had, and Steve had told Dr. Cornett because he had to do the testing.

Steve hadn't been … Stan hadn't done that to Steve.

Danny sobbed in relief. But since he wasn't supposed to know until and unless they could figure out a way to tell him, he had to play the game along with everyone else. So when Dr. Cornett very gently hugged him and asked him what was wrong, he made indecipherable sounds, and hid his face, and pulled himself together. "It's so much to deal with," he said, and it was good to be able to move his thumb again. He took the tissues Dr. Cornett handed him, and gave a watery hiccup of a laugh when Angel laboriously tugged over the half-filled box with her teeth.

And then his mood plummeted and he hid behind tissues as his voice took on a softly keening wail. Had everyone seen him raped? Was it evidence going to be shown in a court of law, so what amounted to his universe would know? Had Stan wanted to do that but Danny missed any signals to that effect, and not made his "no" clear enough because he didn't realize he had to? Or, worse, had he been ambiguous so Stan thought he might not mind, and this was the last chance he would get? Had he caused this? Stan's lawyers would try to make it seem like he had some guilt. "Detective Danny Williams and Stan Edwards had met on numerous occasions to engage in sexual activities." "Objection! Heresay!" "Over-ruled. We have heard no testimony from Detective Williams on this subject." So the doubt would be there. His children would be teased and bullied. Becca would dump him. The task force would be laughed at. He would be forced to resign, to move away from everyone he loved, become a homeless beggar in Alaska, until he died one night out in the cold.

He'd already lost so much. He couldn't lose any more.

He threw the Kleenex box across the room, and the ice-water pitcher, knocked over the rolling bedside table, a bouquet of flowers, and got tangled up in the ribbons holding up some balloons, but still managed to rip out his IV line when someone else freed him from the colorful ribbons, a blur in his watery vision. Everyone was yelling, just the way it would happen in court. "Order! Order!"

Oh God. He curled into a ball so tight even Angel had trouble reaching him. Hands were pulling at him. Lots of hands. He tightened the ball. He couldn't calm down. His blood pressure shot up, his oxygen levels went down. Angel was frantic, trying to find a way into his tight ball, which she finally managed when he ripped the oxygen mask off his face, and the hand and arm he used was grabbed firmly and held and he felt the prick of a needle in his upper arm. Dr. Cornett was forced to sedate him again, but this time he put him in soft restraints, too, which he couldn't fight; the sedative had a good hold on him. He knew he was trying to panic, but his body would not respond. The oxygen mask was back on his face, and he tried to scream it off, but that didn't work either. His breathing remained calm, no words forming.

As he felt himself losing consciousness, he tried to reach out to Angel and wondered why she loved him, why anyone loved him. The last sounds he heard were Dr. Cornett crying, "Son, I'm so sorry!" while Angel meowed pitifully in his right ear.

.

H50 H50 H50 H50

.

Steve and Lou managed to make it out of the hospital and down to Lou's truck without being spotted, mostly because the mail was just arriving at Tripler, so both men hid behind one of the large push-baskets as they passed by the reporters near the Emergency Room Entrance, then walked with some soldiers on their way out from a visit, and hurried to Lou's truck.

Once inside, Steve called Duke and told him what they had, and he agreed to meet them in the evidence room. As soon as everything was fingerprinted and photographed, Steve would find a room alone and view the contents of the thumb drive. If it held anything that had to be used in Rachel's trial, if they still couldn't talk her into taking a plea deal, well, Steve would face that possibility when he came to it. In the meantime, Lou would give Duke his statement. Nobody would see the contents of the thumb drive until Steve gave the okay.

If it contained what he feared, he was not going to give the okay for anyone else to see it.

Lou sensed his tension. "You okay?"

Steve realized he had forgotten to fasten his seatbelt, so he did that quickly, left-handed. "I'm nervous about what's on that drive. Why did Stan send it to you, do you have any idea?"

Lou pursed his lips. "Last he knew, I hated Danny's guts, so all I can think of is that he had no idea that was not the case once I cooled off. The paper hints that he was doing me a favor and we might come to some mutual favor-doing. He's nuts. If I did still hate Danny, I wouldn't help Stan carry out the garbage."

Steve mulled that statement. "Pretty strong dislike you have for Stan."

Lou brought the truck to a stop for a red light. They were heading into the heart of Honolulu now, maybe another ten minutes from the HPD crime lab. "You ever met a guy who seemed so bland, you knew he was dirty, just real good at covering it up?"

"Yeah. Stan."

"Exactly. So I never trusted him. I just had no reason to let him know that."

"Huh. That's kindof how we all felt." Steve felt his phone buzz, and reached into his pocket. "It's Cornett," he told Lou. "Yeah, Doc? Danny okay? Looking forward to be going home?"

There was a pause, and Steve tensed like a bowstring. "He what?" Another pause. "You had to what? Oh … my God!" He listened longer, and then just about turned purple. "Listen, uh. I'm gonna call you back from the crime lab. You said he'd sleep for a good four hours?" (Short pause.) "I don't know how much is on this drive! I may be longer than that! I have to be there when he wakes up, can you keep him out longer if need be?" (Longish pause.) "I don't know if that's a good idea or a bad idea, I gotta call you back from … yes, I know. I wish I knew what set him off. I have to be there when he comes to." (Longish pause.) "I agree. I'll call you in about half an hour, and don't call Chin or Kono. One of their other cousins had a stroke this morning, they're at Queens. It's bad." (Pause.) "No, I didn't tell Danny. Hey, he can't be alone right now. He knows when he's alone, and it isn't good." (Pause.) "Becca, good; she'll be caring. She doesn't know, but he'll feel her caring." (Pause.) "Soon as I can. I know you are helping him. We'll discuss the … thing." (Pause.) "Just take good care of him, give my love to Becca and Hannah." (Pause.) "Yeah. Love you, Doc. Call you real soon. Bye."

Steve pocketed his phone and leaned back against the head rest, his eyes scrunched closed as he massaged his temples with his good hand. "Danny had a PTSD flare, and the doc had to sedate him and put him in restraints."

"Oh, man," whispered Lou, knowing full well that Danny would hate the flare, the sedation, and the restraints. "Look, we can drop the drive off at the lab and go right back."

Steve rearranged his sling. "No, he'll be out for a bit, and this thumb drive may hold some answers he needs to get past this flare. I hope." Or it could make him dive down deeper into it, Steve thought nervously.