A/N: Okay, here's another one-shot from the 'What…?' series. On what should be the biggest day of Kurt and Sebastian's life, Sebastian is MIA and Kurt is in the bathroom with his head over the toilet. To top it off, the storm of the century is about to hit the east coast. Is this just the fates saying that Kurt and Sebastian were just not meant to be? (Warning for mention of vomitting and Blaine-friendly but no Klaine because he has to be a good guy every once in a while. I like to believe that people grow up :) Romance, fluff, good-feelings all around… )
Kurt barrels down the beach, trying to stay on the narrow, blue runner lying across the sand so he doesn't trip and fall flat on his face. Confused eyes watch him fly down the aisle, his hand clamped tight over his mouth to rescue him from an even more devastating embarrassment.
"Kurt!" Blaine calls after him, chasing him as dark clouds close in overhead, gray and heavy and threatening rain. The entire wedding party and throng of guests pulls their eyes away from the couple racing past them as a bolt of lightning flashes overhead, lighting up the tent on the beach, throwing disturbing and chaotic shadows around them.
"Kurt! Stop!"
Kurt doesn't stop. He runs straight for the temporary bathrooms outside the tent and locks himself in the first available one.
"Kurt! I'm so sorry!" Blaine says through the door as thunder rumbles loud overhead.
Kurt opens his mouth to bite back with a witty retort for Blaine's weak apology, but his stomach lurches and Kurt barely makes it to the toilet. He vomits up everything in his stomach, everything he's ever eaten since he first thought about getting married, all the way back to when he was twelve and he used to marry his X-Men and Power Ranger action figures off in elaborate ceremonies on the front lawn of his house.
"Kurt," Blaine continues when the sound of retching dies down, "are you okay?"
Quiet moans are Kurt's only reply.
"Kurt, I didn't mean to hurt you! I never intended…"
"I asked you for one thing!" Kurt finally roars over the rattling of the wind whipping the walls of the bathroom hut. "One thing to not ruin this ceremony, and you couldn't do that, could you!?"
"I didn't think it would make that much of a difference!"
"Well, it did!" Kurt cries, leaning back over the toilet, feeling queasy and angry and fed up all at the same time…but mostly queasy. "It did make a difference and now the whole ceremony is ruined."
"It's not ruined!" Blaine counters, trying to console the hysterical groom.
"How is this not ruined?" Kurt bellows. "He's not here! Sebastian's not here and it's all your fault!"
"But…"
"I asked you to bring him!" Kurt rails over him. "You! How could you pass him off to Cooper! I mean, have you even met your broth-urgh!"
Blaine winces sympathetically, leaning his head against the door. Another crash of thunder drowns out the sound of Kurt being sick, but the earth-shaking noise doesn't even phase Blaine.
Kurt's right. He fucked up.
"Why did he have to stay at that stupid suite across town?" Kurt whimpers. "Why couldn't he have stayed here at the hotel with us?"
"It's some sort of Smythe tradition," Blaine explains. "I don't remember all that well. I might have been a little drunk last night when he told me."
Kurt rolls his eyes. Apparently while he, Rachel, and Mercedes were watching the Twilight trilogy and busily wrapping Jordan almonds into tiny net tulle bags until their fingers bled; Cooper, Blaine, and Hunter kidnapped Sebastian and dragged him out to a local gay bar for the stag party of the century.
All Kurt knows about it he got from cell phone footage sent to him in the morning.
He isn't too upset at Sebastian for the naked lap dance that Coop had bought for him as a wedding present, especially since in the video Sebastian didn't look too into it, but Kurt vowed that the next time he sees Cooper Anderson he's going to run the man over with his Navigator.
On top of that, Sebastian's parents had rented Sebastian two adjoining suites at an extravagant hotel on the complete opposite side of the city, and from the jokes and jabs of yesterday afternoon it seemed that its sole purpose was to keep Kurt and Sebastian apart. Kurt couldn't help but wonder at the time if they were sending him some sort of subliminal message.
Well if they weren't, the universe seemed to be. Late last night the storm of the century started brewing off the east coast, and if news meteorologists can be believed it is headed right for his wedding.
Kurt is amazed he hasn't broken down completely yet.
"Kurt?" Rachel's voice replaces Blaine's. "Kurt, I just got a text from Sebastian. They're here."
Kurt feels himself start to relax. He takes a deep breath, his throat stinging as the cool air passes through on its way to his lungs.
Everything is going to be alright now because Sebastian is there and they're going to get married. They're going to stand up in front of all their friends, and family, and acquaintances from work, and about three hundred other people that the Smythes invited that Kurt doesn't even know, and they're going to pledge their lives to each other – to love, honor, and obey, for as long as they both shall live.
More thunder roars, shaking the walls of the bathroom so violently that Kurt thinks a tragically derailed train might be bearing down on him.
He feels his face go green again and another round of vomiting begins.
"How long has he been at it?" Rachel whispers to Blaine.
"About an hour," Blaine replies, his heart bleeding out of pity for Kurt every time he hears him groan.
"Can a human being even puke for an hour straight?" Rachel asks. "I mean, he barely ate anything last night and all he had this morning for breakfast was an egg white omelet and three slices of turkey bacon. What else does he have left?"
"My guess is a kidney and a lung," a breathless voice answers behind them. Blaine and Rachel turn to see Mercedes leading a debonair but slightly wind bedraggled Sebastian to the bathrooms in time to hear his intended groom lose the rest of his stomach.
Sebastian pushes past Blaine and Rachel and raps on the door with his knuckles.
"Kurt, honey," he says, concern lacing through his words when he hears another painful sounding dry heave, "if you're done throwing up, I'd really like to get married now."
Rachel slaps Sebastian lightly on the shoulder and Blaine snickers, but none of that hides the worry clouding their eyes. A blue bolt of lightning splits the sky, immediately followed by a growl of thunder, ratcheting up the tension and the overall sense of urgency about ten notches.
"Kurt…" Rachel tries for a comforting whisper but finds she needs to yell over the howling wind. "Sweetheart, you have to make a decision. We have a crowd of people sitting in that tent in danger of flying off to Kansas if they have to wait any longer for you guys to get married."
Kurt doesn't answer, and in the silence that surrounds them the wind whistles louder, giving them the eerie sense that something bad is about to happen.
"Uh…" Kurt's wavering voice cuts through the din, "can I talk to Sebastian? Alone?"
"Kurt!" Rachel objects immediately. "It's bad luck…"
All eyes snap to her and the rest of the sentence dies in her mouth.
The bathroom door cracks open and Sebastian slips inside, not quite prepared for the image of Kurt – his gorgeous, handsome, amazing Kurt – dressed in a one-of-a-kind Kurt Hummel designed tuxedo, his hair styled to perfection; but his face is ghastly pale, his lips lightly tinged blue, his eyes red from strain and crying.
"Wow, Kurt," Sebastian says softly, seeing past the sickness and the pain and seeing only his incredible groom, "you look…amazing."
Kurt smiles weakly, wrapping his arms around his torso, shivering a bit with the cold and the haunting sound of the wind.
"So what's up, babe?" Sebastian tries his best to sound nonchalant even though in the back of his mind blossoms a fear that there's the very real possibility of Kurt calling off the wedding. "Are you getting cold feet?"
Kurt shakes his head and takes a step forward, falling into his fiancé's arms.
"I still want to marry you," Kurt sniffles, not wanting to make a mess of Sebastian's tux. He looks up nervously. "Do you want to marry me?"
Sebastian smirks, the slightest half-twist at the corner of his mouth, but it's reassuring nonetheless.
"I don't think I've wanted anything more in my life."
Kurt sighs, melting further into Sebastian's arms. From outside the bathroom, Kurt hears rain start pelting the thin roof, and the low muttering of wedding guests shifting in their seats, complaining quietly. Above it all they hear Cooper Anderson dramatically attempt to keep order.
"Please stay seated, family and friends," he announces, "while we try to locate the grooms. The wedding will start in just a minute…"
Those words make Kurt's heart hammer heavily in his chest.
"It's not that I don't want to marry you, Seb," Kurt confesses quickly, competing with the rain, "I just…don't want all this. This huge wedding…all these people…"
"I thought you wanted a big wedding," Sebastian says. He holds Kurt closer so he can hear Sebastian's words with his ear pressed against his chest.
"I thought I did, too," Kurt says. "But…now I don't. It doesn't feel like our wedding."
Sebastian sighs, relishing this moment alone with Kurt in his arms. He knows exactly how Kurt feels. Ever since they set the date, everyone had something to say about the details of their wedding, but no one more so than his parents. They chose most of the food, invited the majority of the guests, and that stupid suite last night…
Sebastian barely slept, he missed Kurt so damned much.
Naked in bed with Kurt in his arms would have been the best start to this morning. It would have given him the strength to face the horde of people in the tent outside that he himself didn't know, friends of the family or not.
With the exception of the nausea, he feels just like Kurt; done with it all.
"So, what should we do, babe?" Sebastian asks.
Kurt shrugs, his whole body shaking as more thunder cracks overhead.
"I don't know, but I just want it to be us, Seb…just you and me."
Sebastian listens to the rain pound overhead, the wind howls around them, threatening to pull the small hut off its hinges. He pinches his lower lip between his teeth and grins.
"I think I can do that."
Sebastian turns the knob and the wind rips the door open. He steps out of the bathroom, holding his fiancé tight against him, afraid of losing him to the swirling wind.
"Blaine! Rachel!" Sebastian yells louder now that they're out of the confines of the bathroom, no longer shielded from the weather. "Tell everyone to go!"
"What!?" Rachel's jaw drops. She looks thoroughly appalled, holding onto her vintage pillbox hat to keep it from tearing the hair out of her head in its attempt to fly away.
"Tell everyone to go," Sebastian repeats. "We're cancelling the wedding."
"You can't put that on us!" Rachel screams.
"Of course we can," Sebastian says with a laugh. "That's what the best man and the maid-of-honor are for; doing our dirty work so we don't get creamed by angry wedding guests."
"But, wait," Blaine interrupts with a worried glance at a pale Kurt. "So, you guys aren't getting married?"
"I didn't say that," Sebastian says with a more sincere grin, "just not here. Not now."
"Wh-what…where are you going?" Rachel calls out as Sebastian practically carries Kurt away. Blaine is already gone, directing the crowd of grumbling wedding guests off the beach and back into the safety of the hotel.
"We're getting the fuck out of here," Sebastian says, opening the door of the wedding party limo; the gaudy, decorated one with his and Kurt's honeymoon luggage already stowed in the back. He swiftly ushers Kurt inside. "That's all you need to know."
Sebastian chuckles as he catches a snippet of Cooper arguing with someone he guesses is probably his own mother.
"Look, I realize you're upset," Cooper yells, "but unless you want to be swept out into the Atlantic, I suggest you head inside."
Sebastian climbs into the limo beside a much calmer looking Kurt who's already pouring two glasses of champagne.
"Where to?" the chauffeur asks, nonplussed by the pouring rain from the raging storm outside.
"The airport," Sebastian says.
Kurt looks at Sebastian curiously, handing him a flute of champagne.
"You look like a man with a plan." Kurt takes a sip from his own flute, letting the alcohol flow through him and soothe what's left of his frazzled nerves.
"I am," Sebastian says, reclining beside his fiancé.
"Are you going to let me in on it?" Kurt asks.
Sebastian drains his glass in one go and reaches for the bottle.
"Nope." He turns to kiss Kurt, savoring the sweet taste of his lips and forgetting the bottle of champagne entirely.
The next day the majority of the wedding guests are safely back home.
Two days later, the caterers, photographers, and the venue are all compensated for a wedding that didn't take place.
Three days later, for most everyone involved life goes back to normal.
Four days later, family and friends from New York, to Ohio, even a few in France, wake up to an email with the subject line, "Aloha from Mr. and Mr. Hummel-Smythe!" Attached to the email is a video of Kurt and Sebastian, standing knee deep in the calm blue waters of the Pacific, sun shining in the clear sky over their heads, wearing matching white slacks and white shirts – Sebastian's shirt is untucked while Kurt's ensemble is offset by a thin, stylish black belt. They both wear leis of glossy green ti leaves draped over their shoulders. White orchids weave through Kurt's lei at the neck. They stare into each other's eyes while a smiling, dark-skinned Polynesian gentleman declares them husband and husband; and when they kiss, they're cheered on by an intimate chorus of onlookers – strangers who for one day become friends and wedding guests.
Of all the people who see the video - from Burt and Carole who replay it over and over, to Mr. and Mrs. Smythe who forward it to everyone they know, even Isabelle who plays it for her entire office staff at Vogue - it's Blaine who comments to a teary-eyed Mercedes and a speechless Rachel that he has never seen two people in his life who looked more in love.