She wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms and remain there forever…
But she didn't, because she knew that she had no right to do so…
The warmth she had felt in his embrace, the feeling that she was safe, and that everything would be alright, she had no right to feel any of that.
Because if she let herself believe that, everything would come crashing down…
She didn't want him to be contaminated by her filth, her sins…
She wanted to protect him…
Those were the thoughts running through her head as she stood under the hot spray of her shower. She was going to spend the night at Scepter 4 headquarters so that when the morning came, she would go through with the necessary interrogation that had to be postponed due to the late hour, and other matters involving the Gold Clan that the Blue King had to attend to.
Amira wasn't surprised that Hikaru Okamihime would be spending the night in Saruhiko Fushimi's bedroom; she and Munakata had picked up on the possessive boyfriend – unspoken romantic tension vibe between them when they had entered the truck, and it didn't show any sign of fading anytime soon.
What would it be like to have that kind of love? she wondered, lifting her face to the spray. What would it be like to have the man I love hold me in his arms like that?
The image of the Blue King's handsome face appeared in her mind, and for a moment, Amira dared to let herself remember what it had felt like to be held in his arms, and wonder what would have happened if they were alone…
She shook her head. No way was the Blue King going to look at her like that after the way she'd killed Otoya Mizuchi in front of him…
Earlier, she had considered using her weather manipulation abilities to stop the three assassins, but she had decided against it, because she knew that she might not be able to control it, and she might end up hurting others...
The ability to control the weather is more like a battle to maintain your sanity, and keep your body in one piece, her mother's voice echoed in her mind, bringing back the memory of when her mother was explaining the limitations, and dangers of their abilities when she was eight years old. It's really painful, and hard to control. That's why I prefer using my water based abilities because even if you end up getting worn out after using them, at least they're easy to control; the weather manipulation ability is very dangerous since you don't know how hard you have to fight to hold onto yourself. Even if I can control it, it still brings unspeakable agony, which is why I don't want you to use it as much as possible…
Amira had only used her weather abilities once, and that had been at Nanakamado, after she had gotten Anna out, and her father had died in her arms. She had wanted to destroy them all, destroy those who had taken everything from her, destroy everything, but remembering her parents - her mother, and how she had put her heart and soul into loving and teaching her everything she knew about her powers, as well as her father who had allowed himself to become the monster he hated so he could protect her, had helped her rein in her emotions and abilities.
Yes, she had killed those who deserved it, but still…
Killing was killing, and until the day she died, the blood of the dead would stain her hands, and soul…
It really hadn't been over after the drama at the Strain Centre, because on more than one occasion after that, Amira had encountered the remnants of the Gold Clan who had tried to finish what Koshi Mizuchi and his henchmen had started, and she had been forced to kill them in self defense, or be killed.
It had been a fight of kill or be killed.
Amira had killed the Gold Clansmen who had come after her not only in self defense and retaliation for what they had done to her family, but also so she could protect Anna. She didn't want that sweet, precious little child to become their victim a third time, so she took up her father's mantle of bloodshed, tempered only by those moments when she was in her mermaid form as she tried to keep sanity, and her humanity intact…
Between the interrogation and the disgusting concoction resembling goat dung on the plate the scantily clad second in command placed in front of her, Amira would rather choose the former; at least it didn't make her feel like vomiting every meal she'd had in the past month.
" What's that ?! " she demanded, glaring up at Lieutenant Awashima who had taken the seat on the opposite side of the table in the interrogation room. " It looks like something that would scare a vulture away! "
On the other side of the one way mirror, the Blue King chuckled at the black haired mermaid's blunt, sarcastic comment, while Tatsuya Enomoto and Takeru Kusuhara tried not to grin.
Scepter 4's second in command looked offended at the poker faced teenager's words, but she also seemed unnerved. She would never admit it, but the fact that the girl in front of her was a trained killer who wouldn't hesitate to face the Gold Clan, and had brought down the facility in Nanakamado down with a vengance really made her uncomfortable.
" You should try it before you judge! " she defended. " It's delicious! "
Amira Arashikage only raised her eyebrow. " I doubt it. " she muttered, her cold expression never changing. " The traditional Japanese sweet on the plate would have been delicious if you didn't poison it with all that red bean paste! "
On the Captain's side of the mirror, Munakata merely smiled, while the clansmen who were with him were helpless with laughter. Amira Arashikage showed no remorse for telling the busty lieutenant off, and despite the serious atmosphere inside the room, everyone on the opposite side was having a riot.
" Kamo-san, " Munakata turned to Ryuho Kamo who was also trying to hide his own laughter. " It would be best if you are the one who speaks with Arashikage-kun. " Munakata chuckled again. " Things are becoming quite amusing. "
Kamo saluted. " Yes, Sir. "
As the said clansman entered the interrogation room, and replaced Lieutenant Awashima - who seemed to be in a hurry to leave - Munakata noticed how the black haired Strain seemed to relax - just a tiny bit, and she seemed to recognize him from last night. She glanced at the mirror on her right, as if she was aware that the Blue King was there, and a faint hint of a smile showed itself around her deep sea, crystal green eyes. Amira answered Kamo-san's questions politely, something she probably wouldn't have done with Awashima.
Earlier this morning, Munakata had noticed his second in command's disapproval when he announced his intention of having the two Strains join Scepter 4, however, she had bowed out of arguing with him when he made it clear that he wasn't about to change his mind. He suspected that her disapproval had been not only due to their statuses as Strains, or their ages, but also due to one of them being from the bloodlines of the two most ruthless, dangerous families in the country; her disapproval had obviously intensified after Amira Arashikage had told her off regarding her choice of dishes.
My, my, he thought as he continued to observe the stubborn headed mermaid. You are going to be quite a handful.
He knew that he hadn't been wrong in choosing her to join Scepter 4.
" Okamihime-san! " Akira Hidaka called, his eyes on the silver haired she-wolf as she came out of the lady's washroom. Akiyama and Benzai were with him, and they visibly tensed, not only because the loose tongued clansman was smitten with the wrong girl, but because the young man who obviously considered her his had just appeared from around the corner, and was glaring daggers at his back.
" Oi, Hidaka! " Akiyama warned, his eyes on Saruhiko Fushimi, who had a very ominous expression on his pale face.
Hidaka obviously hadn't heard a word. " Do you have a boyfriend? " he gushed. " I've totally fallen for you! "
Hikaru Okamihime gave him an annoyed look before her deep violet eyes moved to the figure behind him. " As a matter of fact.. " she answered darkly, not knowing if Saruhiko would approve of her answer.
Hidaka realized his mistake too late, because Hikaru Okamihime moved to one side just as he felt a very dark and dangerous aura behind him. Glancing behind him, he felt all the blood drain from his face as he found himself looking straight at an ominous, livid Saruhiko Fushimi. The bespectacled young man's dual aura was burning around him like a bonfire of blue and red, and the light reflecting off his glasses obscured his sapphire eyes from view, although Hidaka could feel his glare behind them.
Akiyama and Benzai swallowed, moving back.
Bad move, Hidaka.
Hidaka leapt back with a dismayed yelp, barely managing to avoid the barrage of knives that Fushimi flung at him, and found his back against the wall.
" And just whose girlfriend do you think you're making a move on, you idiot?! " Fushimi demanded, moving to place himself between Hikaru and the clansman who had tried to make a move on her. Without waiting for the brown haired clansman's reply, Fushimi took Hikaru Okamihime's hand in his, and strode away before moving his arm around her waist.
It was only when they had disappeared around the corner that Hidaka remembered to breathe, although his legs seemed to have stopped functioning.
Amira exited the interrogation room, and wasn't surprised to find the Blue King waiting for her. She had sensed his presence earlier before she had been questioned by Ryuho Kamo, and now, as they fell into step beside each other, she wondered how much he had seen and heard.
But most of all, she wondered what he thought of her.
" What's going to happen now? " Amira asked, trying not to let her apprehension show. Dspite Munakata's assurances last night, she couldn't help but feel nervous.
He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling. " The conversation will be transcribed, and filed into the report, " he answered, before chuckling. " Although I am quite sure your exchange of words with Awashima-kun will have everyone in stitches. "
Amira sighed, feeling tired once again. " So you saw that, " she said. " I didn't say those things as a joke. Her choice of food really was disgusting! "
" I quite agree, " he admitted, unable to keep the amusement from his voice. " She must think that you will be an abomination to Scepter 4. "
She looked up at him, suddenly feeling sad. " And you? " she asked. " What do you think of me? "
She had spoken those last words without thinking, and now, as she realized her mistake, she felt her face turn bright pink.
Oh my God! she thought, mortified. What did I just say?!
Munakata's smile was gentle. " I think of you as a mystery that I would like to unravel, " he admitted. " A puzzle I would like to solve. "
She felt her mouth go dry. " What will you do after you've done both? " she asked softly.
" I will keep you by my side… "
Amira didn't know how the Red Clan would react upon seeing her there at their base of operations, considering that they knew that she was a member of their enemy clan.
Despite her apprehension, she wanted to see Anna.
She had been deeply troubled by Anna's silence when she'd seen her last night. When they'd first met, she had noticed how the little albino had been a quiet girl, but at least she had spoken; last night, she'd never uttered a word.
Why?
Amira couldn't help but think that it was her fault; maybe she had scared Anna when she'd killed Otoya Mizuchi, and the child had only gone near her because she couldn't verbally refuse to be anywhere near her.
Either way, she needed to know. If she had indeed become a monster in the little girl's eyes, then she would keep her distance from her; if Anna still considered her a friend, then she would support her in any way she could.
It was with some trepidation that she entered the HOMRA bar almost thirty minutes later, a paper bag full of fruits - especially strawberries - in her arms for Anna. She was greeted by Izumo Kusanagi, HOMRA's second in command, and judging by the way he had straightened upon seeing her, he recognized her.
" Welcome, Arashikage-chan! " he greeted, setting his ballpen down. He had been making an inventory of the drinks that needed re-stocking, and wasn't surprised to see Anna's black haired, mermaid friend come to visit her. It was pretty obvious that she and the Red Clan's little princess had wanted to spend more time together last night after being reunited, but thanks to the drama around them, it had been postponed.
The petite girl bowed slightly in greeting. " Good afternoon, Izumo Kusanagi, everyone, " she returned. " Is Anna there? I brought some fruits. I don't know if she'll want ice cream instead, though.. . "
" She'll be fine with whatever you bring! " a sandy haired young man holding a camcorder declared warmly as he rose from his place on the couch by the window, and came to relieve her of her bundle. " Anna was pretty excited to see you last night, even if you guys didn't have that much time together. "
Her eyes moved to the young man, and she nodded in thanks as he took the bag from her. " Is she here? " she asked again, noticing the stares that she was receiving.
" She's taking a shower upstairs, " Izumo answered, gesturing to the barstools. " Have a seat. "
She made her way to the bar, aware of the stares that she was receiving. " Thank you, " she said, perching on one of the stools.
" What would you like to drink? " Kusanagi asked her. " It's on the house, provided it's non-alcoholic. "
Her eyes scanned the written menu behind him. " I'll have a peach flavored iced tea, " she answered. " Less ice, please. "
" Coming right up. "
She was quiet as he assembled her order, and placed the tall glass in front of her. Nodding her thanks, she took a sip through the straw, and found the flavor to her liking. " Perfect. "
Once again, she lapsed into silence, content to listen to the sound of the traffic outside, and the shower running upstairs, her eyes staring inward as she pondered the events of last night.
" Why won't she say anything? " Amira spoke so suddenly, it startled everyone. " She didn't utter a single word last night. Was it me? Did I scare her? "
Kusanagi shook his head. " It wasn't you, Arashikage-chan, " he assured her. " Anna's been like that for some time after the Nanakamado Incident... "
Alarm bells went off in Amira's head. " Did they come back for her after that? " she demanded, her aura taking on an ominous turn as a thousand scenarios of the Gold Clan coming after Anna when she wasn't there to protect her started to run through her mind. " What did they do to her?! "
The look on her face suddenly brought to mind the legends of how a vengeful mermaid could drag men to their death, and all of them hoped that they never had to be on the receiving end of her anger.
" It's not like that, Arashikage-chan, " Kusanagi explained. " They didn't try to come after her again - thanks to you. "
There was a sound like a partially strangled chicken behind her, but Amira didn't bother turning around. " You're well informed. "
There was a darkness to Kusanagi's smile. " I'd heard rumors from my contacts about one of the Strains from Nanakamado wiping out Mizuchi's cronies when they made the mistake of going after her, " he revealed. " It was said that the Strain who wiped them out was one hell of a badass despite her young age, and by killing them, she managed to keep them away from Anna - whom they'd intended to go after as well. "
" I'm not proud of being a killer, Kusanagi-san, " Amira sighed, suddenly feeling tired. " But I won't hesitate to take down those bastards if they don't know how to take a hint. "
" As expected from the daughter of the Arashikage and Hiruko clans, " Kusanagi mused, feeling impressed, although a bit chilled as he gazed at Anna's black haired friend. The look in her eyes was really unnerving, because he knew that she would do what she didn't say she would if ever she was crossed.
" Anna only stopped talking because Honami-sensei forgot her, and that she was her niece, " the sandy haired young man from revealed. " When we managed to rescue her after you got Anna out, she was badly traumatized, and pretty hysterical. One of the Usagi who was helping arrest Mizuchi's henchmen did a memory swipe so she could forget what had happened to her, but in the process, he also made her forget about Anna, and that she was her niece. Anna was fine thanks to you, but when she realized that Honami forgot her, and was better off not remembering her because she might regard her as a monster, and start blaming her for what happened, she stopped talking right then and there. "
If a breaking heart could make a sound at that very moment, it would probably sound like shattering glass, because that was the very same feeling Amira had in her chest at the revelation of the reason for Anna's speechlessness, the pain so intense, it was almost physical.
She had protected and rescued Anna, but she hadn't been able to protect her from all the pain that she should never have experienced. Amira didn't know which was worse: losing your entire family the way she had, or lose almost everyone, and be forgotten by the only one remaining.
Oh Anna... she thought, grief clogging her throat. I'm so sorry... I wasn't able to protect you after all...
" We're hoping you can help her, " Kusanagi said, seeing the grief on her face. " You protected and saved her even if you knew nothing about her, and we know you care about her even if you are from another clan. "
" Even if you didn't ask me, " Amira's voice was barely more than a whisper. " I'd do my best to help her. But just to let you know, children suffering from selective mutism can't be forced to speak any more than a flower can be forced to bloom. The heart is like that flower; force it to bloom, and it will become deformed, twisted, its beauty ruined. I'll be there for her if and when she needs me, but I can't work miracles. Give her time, that's one of the things she needs since I can only do so much. "
A tiny hand on her arm interrupted her words, and she turned to see Anna, fresh from her shower, dressed in another frilly red dress, standing beside her chair, her enormous ruby eyes so full of mystery on her.
" Oh, baby... "
Amira got off her stool, closing the distance between herself and the precious, doll like girl who was like a daughter to her. As her arms went around Anna, she felt like her heart would burst. No longer able to hide her tears, she buried her face in Anna's white hair, as the little girl hugged her back.