With you on my shoulder
By HeartofSummer
Genre: Brittany and Santana romance
Copyright: If I owned them, a lot of the shows awesome characters would be forgotten, since I'd only be writing about these two. So this is purely for entertainment purposes.
A/N: My... This is a super fluffy chapter. But Santana seemed mad at Brittany in this episode, or well, a little too bitchy. And I wanted more Quick into it. Mainly because I love them, but also because it must be affecting Santana a lot since she is sleeping with Puck.
Chapter 8: Wheels
(Brittany)
"See, when I was in Glee Club and we needed new silk cover buns for regionals, we held a bake sale." Mr Schuester looks like he's really serious about the idea, though I don't think it's the best. There are so many reasons why, starting with the very strong rule made by Coach Sylvester, stating that any cheerio eating something that has sugar in it, is used as trampoline for the whole team. Santana looks at me in disbelief, and we laugh together at the idea. But looking back at Mr. Schue, he's still very much serious.
"Wait, you're joking right? I mean bake sales are kind of Boogie." Santana's words of truth makes our teacher look at us in disbelief.
"So hip people stopped eating delicious, sugary treats?" I decided it was time to speak up. I didn't like it at all when people questioned Santana.
"It's not that. It's that most of us don't know how to bake. I find recipes confusing..." It's the truth. The home room teacher in school always tells me to follow the recipe, and my mom always tells me to read between the lines. When I ask the teacher about it, she always gets into a heated discussion, telling me there is no reading between the lines in making the perfect cake. I just don't know. I mean, I do think that marshmallow and peanut butter would go well with small cookies, make them more exciting, but the teacher, Miss Hagbert, always gets red in the face when I suggest new ingredients. It is VERY confusing.
I mean, I could always just ask my mom to bake some for me, but to be honest I'll probably forget it, and then I'll go around worrying about something that I can't remember what it is. And my dad always tells me you should never let someone else do your job. That's why I never let Santana do my homework for me, I write hers off with my own pencil on my own paper. It takes a longer time, but at least I am doing all the work myself.
.
.
I was standing by the lockers when it happened.
I saw Quinn walk towards the home economics classroom with a shopping bag in her arms.
Then I saw Puck coming down the hall, rolling around sneakily like mittens always does when he's been up to something.
Then Puck stayed outside the door to Home Ec., leaving the wheelchair there and going in after her. I felt my heart take a leap out of my chest, knowing this was our chance. I dropped my books in my own wheelchair, making a run for the toilets around the corner to get Santana out from there now. She'd been crying because she didn't want to be a cripple, and she'd told me to go get her books and she would meet me in class. But this was way more important than History!
I slammed the door open, breathing heavily as I saw Santana spin around to face me.
"It's Puck..." I took a deep breathe, "..and Quinn...! Baking!" Santana's eyes grew even wider in surprise, and I could barely see the red around them anymore.
"Let's get us some dirty proof, then." She spat, and grabbed my hand on the way out, letting me lead the way outside.
"They're in the Home Economics classroom," I told her, running outside, towards the window with red and white curtains. When I got to it, I put a finger to my lips, pointing. Santana went around me and pulled me down into a crouching position, making me giggle hysterically. She just raised an eyebrow, smiling a little before shushing me.
We crept closer, and peeked over the edge of the windowsill.
"Oh..." Santana mumbled. "They really are baking."
"Mhhm. Told you."
"Yeah, I just thought..." I looked at her, but she shook her head. "Never mind."
I turned my attention back to them, but wasn't sure what I was seeing. It was Quinn, pushing something into Puck's hand, looking away from him.
"What's that?" I whispered, probably a little too loud. I was still trying to learn the right voice for whispering.
"I can't see," Santana answered in a harsh whisper. "Condoms?" I giggled again.
We could only see their backs, but even though it looked like Quinn wanted Puck to leave, he didn't. Instead he put his hand on her shoulder, saying something that made Quinn smile and turn around. And I don't mean one of those superior smiles she used to smile, but it was one that made me smile too. I peeked at Santana, who looked like she was fighting one as well. Puck was shaking his head, and Quinn's face turned – not serious, but incredibly sexy. I had never been attracted to her before, but suddenly she looked so... cute. My little finger crept to Santana's without me thinking, and our pinkies linked. I could feel her uncomfortableness with the situation. Even I could see that something was going on, and I wasn't especially fast to notice.
My mouth fell open though, as she suddenly cracked an egg on his head! But she was smiling like crazy, biting her lower lip, so I was guessing she wasn't mad at him.
"He really is such an egghead, that suits him..."Santana mumbled beside me, like she'd heard what they'd said through the glass even though I knew it was impossible. I laughed.
"Are they gonna...?" Santana nodded beside me.
"Uhu." Puck and Quinn started throwing flour and cocoa on each other, and I leaned into Santana, trying to see more.
"That looks like so much fun!" I said as Puck poured sugar all over Quinn's head, taking her in his arms. I'd never seen any of them so happy, like they were children. I really wanted to join them, but there was something stopping me from banging on the window besides Santana's pinky holding mine in a choke hold. They were... so close. A small sting in the centre of my chest told me this wasn't the first time, and something reminded me of the time two weeks ago in my room, after me and Santana had taken those vitamins. It was almost as if they were high on sunny pills and when Puck stood so close to her I could just barely see him touch her hair, I knew for sure they were gonna kiss. And that it wouldn't be their first time either.
"That stupid dog, I should get him a better leash, so that he doesn't run after every stray bitch in school!"
I stood up, trying to pull Santana away from there. She didn't want to see one of her best friends taking her man (dog...?), but fortunately Finn entered the room. That gave me that last kick in the butt to pull Santana out of there. Santana was whispering in Spanish behind me. I turned around when we were just outside the doors, and looked at her. Her eyes looked darker than usual, like they were fighting some kind of battle.
I didn't like that look. She was looking down at our entwined pinkies, and I pulled mine out, putting one hand on each side of her face.
"Santana, are you okay?" I leaned in really close, feeling the hummingbirds telling my lips to kiss it better, and I was about to listen to them, as her eyes locked on mine, and then suddenly, as fast as I'd seen her jump those ropes in practice this morning, she snapped back, almost shoving me away from her. I stumbled backwards, staring at her with wide eyes.
"Okay? That stuck up elephant lady is stealing my man!" She looked so mad, I got even more worried. "And I have to ride in that shitty wheelchair like I'm some wannabe cheerio cripple! My rep is being eaten alive by this sick geek club!" She spat the last words, and that hurt me.
Then Becky came behind her, brows furrowed with worry.
"Is something wrong?" she asked, which turned Santana's anger towards her instead. Her words towards my friend hurt me more than anything she's ever said before... mostly because I knew they could have just as easily been directed at me.
"Stay away from me, retard!" Becky's freckled face turned red, and Santana stormed off without another look in my direction. I stepped closer, putting an arm around my much shorter friend's shoulders.
"Don't worry Becky," I said, comforting. "She's just mad at Quinn for baking with her man."
.
.
I had gone to look for Becky as soon as I'd made sure to dump my wheelchair outside the boys bathroom that morning. I knew no one would think it was mine then, since I wasn't a boy. Santana had made me so angry, and even though she'd been nice to me during Glee club by helping me with my arm, because I still couldn't understand the rules of holding up a hand, I was still mad at her. I needed to make myself and Becky feel better, so when I found her, I told her about my secret.
"Becky, did you know that we're having a bake sale? Hundreds of cakes!" Becky looked up at me through her thick glasses, smiling. I love her smiling.
Becky is one of the few girls in school that I dare to talk to about how mean some cheerleaders could be. I love Santana, she is my... best friend, I hope, but sometimes she lets the way of cheerios take over her. And she could be, even though almost never to me, really mean!
"Really?" I nodded.
"Yes! And they look really good. And I think Santana would like to sell you one." Becky looked a little scared at that, but I just held out my arm to her, and she linked hers through mine.
"Don't worry, she's really nice."
"You keep telling me that, but she's always so mean to people," she reminded me, but with a smile. It almost never left her face, which made her an even better friend. Besides, Becky always let me cheat off of her papers in History, which I thought was hard. And Becky always got to look at my answers in maths class, because it was the only class I was really any good at. Puck was the only one I knew who shared history with me except for Becky, but he usually slept right through it, using his books as a pillow.
"There they are!" I said, as we entered the cafeteria. "We baked them for the school? A cookie or a cupcake?"
"For me? Really?" She said, looking at me with her smile growing even bigger. I smiled too, looking up at Puck, Quinn, Finn and Santana. Santana and Quinn looked at me really angrily. I think Santana hardly even knew me and Becky were friends. She looked kind of... jealous.
"See, so many! And look how pretty they are, Becky!" I stared at the cupcakes, ignoring Santana's stare and Becky leaned closer to me as I put my arm around her, and she went:
"Wow," a little shyly.
"Brittany, you're supposed to be in your wheelchair." Santana told me with a snap of her head. I looked at her, trying to hide my little smile at her tone of voice.
"I lost it," I said seriously, knowing they would believe me if they found it.
"Are you a cheerleader?" Becky said to Santana, trying in her own way to break the ice. I knew Santana recognized Becky, and I hoped she felt bad now.
"That's so cool!"
"So is buying a cupcake, that's really cool." I said, showing the others I was getting us costumers on my reputation. Becky looked up at me, a little sad.
"But I don't have any money!" I shrugged my shoulders.
"That's okay, have some!" I took my wallet out from the side pocket of my bag, giving her a dollar that she stretched out to Santana, who looked like I was being a bitch to her. I just smiled knowingly. She took the money with a quiet:
"Thank you," looking away and putting a hand to her ponytail, like she does when she's bothered by something. Like when I ask her strange questions. Santana picked up a napkin and a cupcake, giving it to Becky who smiled.
"Thanks!" I waved and then turned half towards Santana, smiling to myself, letting my fingers touch the side of the table.
"Soo, how much do we have now?" I dared a quick glance at Puck and Quinn sitting beside each other, before looking down again.
"Well, with this one dollar we have... one dollar." Finn replied, and my face fell a little. As Quinn hissed at Finn's ideas, I noticed Santana's eyes on me. I picked a chair from one of the nearby tables, sitting down beside her, reaching a hand out, touching hers. She looked up at me, and somehow I knew she was sorry. I don't know how or why, but I knew that she was.
"I'm trying!" Finn stood up, kicking his wheelchair and leaving the cafeteria. Santana pulled up her hands to pick some crumbs from under her nails, trying to ignore Quinn as she struggled to roll after him. I could see Puck smiling.
"Well, ladies, it's time for the Puckasaurus to take a walk." He patted his crotch, rolled away, and even though we were alone at the table, she looked at the cupcakes as she spoke.
"I was worried about my rep." I looked at her, then took a cupcake.
"I know. And you like Puck." She looked at me, and I took a lick from the treat, and didn't like the taste so I put it back on the plate. "I know you do. I'd be mad too." I met her eyes, and she looked at me without saying anything, before nodding. The guy with red, curly hair who always followed Rachel reached out a dollar with shaky hands.
"Oh, here you go!" I smiled my brightest smile, picking up a cupcake.
"No, I'd like that one." He said in a shaky voice, pointing in the direction of the one I'd just licked. I picked it up as Santana hand shot out to stop me and she stood up, leaning towards him.
"Get out of here before I go all Lima Heights on your ass, you perv." She shot at him, and I leaned back in the chair, smiling and watching Santana put the dollar in the cash register as she kept glaring after the nervous guy. Santana was... safe.
.
.
"Mittens hasn't been home all day, honey." The words still echo in my head, and I put a hand to my wrist where my friendship bracelet hangs. I'm sitting in the stairs, leaning against the railing. I know almost everything about cats. I have 14 books about them, and I've read them all at least two times. So I know that cats can be gone almost a week before coming back home again. But it's so unlike Mittens to be gone. He's almost never out, and when he is he doesn't go far. He's pretty fat and pretty lazy, he's always been, ever since he was a kitten. That's why I named him Mittens the Mighty, like the fat king. I'm not sure what king, but one of them.
Bailey raises her head, and I do the same, waiting for the bark of recognition. The doorbell rings, Bailey barks and I jump down the stairs, flinging the door open in desperation, a small part of me hoping Mittens has learned to ring the doorbell. Santana's eyes look almost black with worry.
"Britt...?" I throw my arms around her, push my nose into her neck and stay quiet.
San's arm curl around my back, while she steps inside with me clinging to her, closing the door.
"Do you want to go out looking again?" I nod into her, but mom's voice interrupts us.
"I think it's best if you go to bed, sweethearts." My mom has already decided, and I know it's useless to try to make her change her mind. "You have school tomorrow. And who knows, maybe Mittens will be back afterwards." I can feel her hands on the top of my head, and then I think she must me patting Santana's arms, sighing.
"Thank you for coming, Santana dear. I know it's late..."
"It's fine. It's gonna be fine."
"You can't know that," I whisper into her hair.
"Yes, I can." She sounds so sure of herself, that I have to believe her.
"I'll bring you some banana bread before you go to sleep. You can have it in bed," Mommy says, before going into the kitchen. I know that she's almost as sad as I am, but I can't think about that. I can only think of Mittens. Maybe he ate a really big fish and now he's too full to walk home? Or maybe some scary big swan bit his ear, and now he's too scared to go home?
It was all I could think when Santana made me let go of her and led me up the stairs, making me change into my pyjamas. I stared at her while she pulled hers on, with her eyes on me all the time, like she was worried I would disappear too. Then, at one point, right before she was pulling her brah out, her eyes hardened and it was as if she was challenging me. I don't know why, but it was how it felt. Then they softened again, and she came to sit beside me on the bed.
"I haven't slept here for so long," she tells me, taking a piece of bread and bites into it, looking around the room. I watch her eat, reaching out to brush a few crumbles from her tank top.
"Last time we played with Barbie and Ken, remember? " Santana looked over at the doll house I still had in my room.
"Yeah, I remember." I always loved it when she took her own Barbie with her, the Spannish Princess Barbie. We always played that Ken wanted to be together with Spannish Barbie, even though he was married to my Barbie. And since Spannish Barbie and my Barbie were best friends, they threw Ken out of the house and married each other. It was my favourite game to play with Santana. She always wanted to kick Ken between his legs, and then my Barbie would ask Spannish Barbie to marry her. It was my favourite part, and Santana always refused to go home before we had gotten them married. I kind of wanted to play it now, but I knew that I needed to sleep, and that really, we were a little too old for Barbies.
"Do you still have Spannish Barbie?"`I asked.
"Of course I do." she smiled at me and winked, and I actually smiled back. It was strange, because a moment ago it had felt like I would never smile again because a big black thing inside me were sitting on my heart. It was as if Santana had showed it off. "I'll take her with next time and we can play, okay?" My smile grew even bigger.
"Oh, yes, yes please!" Santana laughed quietly at me, and our eyes locked, and the hummingbirds woke up again, fighting the black thing inside of me. Her face got a little red, and her voice was shaking when she said:
"We should go to bed. I'm not gonna be able to open my eyes tomorrow if I don't get at least 5 hours of sleep." I nodded, went up to switch off the light, before crawling into bed beside her. The warmth of her body beside me made it hard to stay still, and I felt lonely again. Mittens always slept with his paws on my face, his breathing making me fall asleep. I turned my head towards Santana who was laying on her back, looking at the ceiling where I had put stars that glows in the dark. They reflected in her dark eyes, making it look like she had the night sky inside of her.
It was as if all else disappeared from inside of me, and all I knew was this. Santana was beautiful. It wasn't like I hadn't thought of it before, I knew that she was good looking. Obviously, she was. I'd always been proud of being friends with someone so hot, someone all the girls were jealous of and the boys wanted. She made my heart race, looking at her a lot of the time. But it was as if I was really seeing her, even though she was obviously not in my room with me. She was somewhere else, I could tell. I felt so damn lonely on the outside and at the same time, so lucky to be there with her.
"My mom never came back. I told you about it, how she left me and dad to go work as a doctor in Spain..." I nodded quietly. She had told me that, in the last letter she ever sent me. I had sent a few after that, but after a while I'd gotten busy with dancing and doing the work at home. Mom had begun teaching me at home, since the teasing had become pretty hard when Santana wasn't protecting me anymore. Mom knew a lot about Maths, but not a lot much else, so even though we'd had books she hadn't been able to teach me all that much. Besides, I thought it was hard enough with school as it was. I had taken tons of dancing lessons instead, been in a few contests but never really gotten into something big. And then we moved here.
"Well, I never told you that she went with a guy named Mica." I gasped before I was able to stop myself, and she closed her eyes. "Dad never told me anything, he just said mom had to work somewhere else for a while. The only reason I knew about Mica was because she sent me a postcard on my birthday. On it was a puppy sleeping in a bathing ring with red text saying "Sunny greetings from Barbados". Like some puppy would make up for abandoning me." I didn't want to interrupt her story, so I just kept quiet, knowing there was more. I was still confused about her letting me in like this. I wondered if anybody else knew, maybe Quinn... but I wasn't sure. Maybe Quinn knew, and that was the reason Santana was so mad at her.
"I thought she was gonna come back, you know." Her mouth closed tightly, like she was biting a lemon. "After a year, I was still hoping. But I knew it was hopeless to believe. And now dad's got Cruella. Guess he would've dumped mom for the newer model sooner or later, she just beat him to it." Mittens meant the world to me, but I couldn't even begin to imagine how I would feel if my mom got lost. It made me feel incredibly sick and tears stung in my eyes again.
"I would never leave you," I whisper, almost so quietly only I can hear it. She left me, but she was forced away by her parents jobs. Back then we were only nine and we couldn't do much about it. It had seemed like the end of the world, and I knew that if it would happen again, it would be. When I imagined my future, the time after High School Santana was there beside me. It didn't matter if I was dreaming about looking for lost cats as a fireman, or eating pancakes for breakfast somewhere in New York, like the ladies in sex and the city. She was there.
Santana looked sideways at me, noticing that I was crying. She laid on the side, pushing the bangs out of my eyes before pulling her hand away as if I'd burned her.
"Thanks, BrittBritt. Don't worry, it's gonna be okay."
I felt the pain in my stomach, and the heavy feeling in my chest before turning on the other side, snuggling my back into her front. She breathed in deeply, and I could feel her body shiver, making goosebumps appear on my arms. I wondered for a second if she was sick, shivering like that, but realized she must just be cold, and took a hold of her hand from behind me, pulling it around my waist and kissing it before holding it between my own hands. It was sweaty, but cold. She was still trembling.
"Goodnight, Santana," I mumbled, yawning and listened to her breathing growing slower and deeper, feeling completely safe in her arms. I'd missed having her here.
"Goodnight, Brittany."
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A/N: Reviews are very much welcome. I really want to hear what you think – it makes me write faster! And ideas are appreciated too! Thank you all for reading this, it means the world to me!
Naya and HeMo hugs for you all! XD