Frigga explains the plan, Tony is less than thrilled and wants no parts of it. Tony learns that Einherjars are really big scary dudes with really long swords.

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After the New York attack, Odin has taken Loki's magic, made him mortal and imprisoned him. But Asgard is not a safe place for the Trickster under these conditions. Recent events make Odin decide to take away one more thing from his second son, his memory going back for the last four years. This decision and events that lead to it cause Frigga to decide that Asgard is not safe for Loki's reduced station. From stories Thor had told, she decides that Tony Stark's tower would make an excellent secure location for amnesiac Loki to be under house arrest. 82,000 words so far. Rating may change to FrostIron. Slow build.

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Chapter 2 – Home again, home again

Tony stripped off his suit coat and tie as he exited the elevator and walked through the waiting area leading to the penthouse level. During the ride back to his tower he had taken the opportunity to calm his nerves with some good scotch. Fortunately the ride was just long enough to allow it to kick in.

"So, Jarvis… anything happing that I need to know about in there?" he asked as he tossed his clothes over a chair right inside the front hall of his apartment. He could just hear the faintest traces of conversation from the main living room.

"Well sir, from what they are saying, the younger Mister Odinson is pretty badly injured." Jarvis told him quietly.

"Why are they here though? Have they said?" Tony asked as he laid his sunglasses on a table and smoothed down his ruffled brown hair in the hall mirror hanging above it.

"Yes sir, apparently Odin Allfath-"

"Friend Stark!" boomed Thor walking into the hall and clapping both his hands on Tony's shoulders.

"Whoa! Point Break, easy there. No dislocated bones please." Tony said as he tried unsuccessfully to slide out from the thunder god's hands.

While Tony was not the most observant of people when he was drinking, even he could see that the god looked tired. He had shadows under his eyes and didn't look like he had slept in a month.

"Hey buddy, what's going on? Why are you guys all here? Please don't tell me there is a detour on the astral highway that passes my tower." Tony asked hiding a wince as Thor tightened his grip in what only a god would consider a comforting manner.

Glancing down at Thor's outfit he asked, "What's with the all the blood?"

Oh crap. Who in the hell even knew that Thor had a 'kicked puppy' face.

"Hey! Sparky. Come on buddy, buck up okay? You look like someone just stole your woobie." Thor looked slightly puzzled as Tony's security blanket joke flew over his head. But then he just slumped a bit, running a hand through his messy blonde locks in exasperation.

"Come Man of Iron, my mother wishes to speak to you on a matter of utmost importance," Thor said sadly as his other hand slid down to Tony's bicep and the god proceeded to tug him towards the living room.

Okay then.

Tony was not surprised when he entered his living room, after all Jarvis had told him that Thor and the queen were traveling with an entourage. However, he was perhaps dismayed at the makeup and general demeanor of the large group of people in his home. Not a one of them looked happy. Hell, not a one of them looked anything but downright pissed.

Look at the size of those freaking swords, the person holding a sword that large becomes a bit of back ground noise really, he mused.

Not that the four guys standing in his living room could even fade into the background if they wanted to. First is would be impossible to overlook those huge hunks of shiny metal strapped to them. The guards were all at least as tall as Thor and almost as muscled. Couple that with the Lord of the Rings armor, huge glittering spear, two foot freaking tall ceremonial helm and these guys were either a cosplay joke… or too fine for primetime. Two were standing guard near the medical gurney and two were generally flanking an elegant faded blonde woman who he supposed was Thor's mom. As soon as Tony entered the room the guard's eyes latched on to him.

From the hard eyed expressions on their faces, Tony was not leaning towards classifying them being some sort of cosplay joke.

Thor may have had god like strength and be determined to immediately drag Tony over to his mother, but Tony was equally determined to stop at his bar first. In the game of Scotch vs Norse God, Scotch wins.

Tony wanted a drink. Tony wanted his bracelets. Tony wanted to stay far away from those damn big swords as he possibly could.

"So, your majesty, welcome to my humble abode. Can I offer you a drink?" Tony asked as thunder god escorted his mother over to the bar area.

Thor was not the only Asgardian looking like five miles of bad road. While the queen was quite good looking, in an older middle aged, MILF way, she also looked extremely tired and stressed. Really, really stressed with circles under her eyes, ashen skin and a small muscle twitch at her temple every now and then.

Both gods shook their head no in regard to the drink. So after taking a sip of his, Tony slid on his bracelets all sneaky like and then asked, "So. Your Majesty, what can I do for you?"

Hands loosely clasped in front of her, she proceeded to tell him.

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"Well fuck me." Tony said in a toneless voice, frankly astonished at the plan that had been laid out before him.

Both Asgardians narrowed their eyes at him, but then Thor leaned down and loudly whispered to his mother, "It's a very improper expression of disbelief… Not an invitation for personal relations that would frankly be insulting to you and your rank mother." He glared meaningfully at Tony, "Starkson is a bit crude in his speech, but believe me, he means you no disrespect."

Tony was more than a little alarmed, lighting flashed in the otherwise clear sky temporarily washing out all the color in the penthouse, He hastened to apologize over the loud rumble of thunder that rattled the penthouse's windows.

"No. No, of course not. Sorry, your majesty… sometimes I don't express myself as well as I should"

Not that he normally gave a rats-ass how he spoke to people, no matter who they were. However Tony supposed that he should take a bit more care in the future when speaking to the mother of a large blonde capable of electrocuting him or smashing him into a thin smear on the floor… or both.

"Ah, disbelief?" The queen's brow cleared. "No, I assure you Son of Stark, that all of my words have been truthful. I was truly distraught until my son told me of the security in your tower, the vigilance of your watcher, the cleverness of your chatelaine and the loyalty of your metal servants." The queen's tired face lit up a bit as she smiled at him. "My son also told me that you were the only one of his Midgardian shield brothers to extend a kindness to my Loki when he was injured."

Tony wanted to tear his hair out.

One fucking drink was all it took to give the Space Viking Queen the idea that he would make a good babysitter slash jailor for her crazy assed son. Well that and his tower he supposed, and Jarvis, and Pepper… How the hell did Point Break even explained Dummy, Butterfingers and You to his mother? Tony couldn't even imagine… but still.

Damn.

Who knew that Thor would fricking throw him under the bus with all of this. Fury would have a fit if he even knew Rock of Ages was on the planet, not to mention what Pepper was going to say would say.

Tony looked forlornly down at his now empty glass.

"You sure I can't get you guys anything?" Tony asked as he topped off his drink. "No? You sure?"

Okay then. Getting ice to stall for a few moments, Tony used the mirror behind the bar to check out what was going on with the rest of his uninvited guests.

Some scary old broad, who had two nurse looking chicks assisting her, was doing something vaguely medical to Loki. It was difficult to decide who was the unhappiest of that trio, the old scary doc looking lady who appeared to be cleaning wounds, the blonde holding a big bowl of steaming water or the dishwater blonde on the other side who held a tray that the bloody cleansing cloths were being deposited on. The guards standing at the head and foot of Loki's stretcher divided their time between glaring at Tony and glaring at the unmoving god on the stretcher.

Asgardians must not sit without an invitation, Tony thought, I have nine miles of sofas and everyone is standing.

A few of the queen's handmaidens were standing near the other two guards over by the terrace door. One of the ladies was holding a large bag of some sort. Not a one of them looked happy for some reason, not the guards, not the chicks.

Oh well join the club then, because I am definitely not happy either.

It wasn't like Tony was even sorry that Loki had been almost beaten to death… twice. So… Okay, maybe it wasn't right for people chained up and unable to defend themselves to be beaten, but honestly the jerk kinda deserved it. Not that the Asgardians who did it gave a flip about damage and destruction on earth, they were mad about their rainbow bridge being destroyed and the whole taking over the throne attempt.

Which may have accounted for more than a little of the guilt that Rudolf's mom and brother were experiencing, since according to what they told Tony, Thor is the one who actually destroyed the bridge and the whole 'usurped throne thing' apparently didn't happen as the Queen put Loki on the throne as regent, so she could spend more time with her sick husband. Of course Thor's BFF's who jumped to the wrong conclusion and spread that nasty rumor that Reindeer Games did usurp the throne didn't help either. This of course set up a confrontation with Thor and Bag of Cats who was feeling more than a little unstable as he had just found the day before he was adopted. From a faraway land that was universally hated by all Asgardians.

Nice.

Still none of this was Tony's problem and besides he's a genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist. He was definitely not a warden, prison guard or rehabilitation therapist for a deranged Norse god.

"You know, as much as I would like to help, I can't, the main reason being that Fury would never allow it." Tony said more than a bit untruthfully, since the main reason really was that he flat didn't want to be within twenty miles of that window tossing freak.

Not that he wanted to come right out and admit that to an over protective big hammer swinging brother and a distraught mom with her own hit squad.

Not that they were making him nervous mind you, the two by psycho prince were merely glaring at him menacingly, it was the other two, with the increasingly hostile expressions that were slowly shifting closer and that worried him. Eyeing them uneasily Tony turned to the queen, "Ah your majesty…"

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I don't own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.