AN: Okay, okay, I know this chapter took forever to come out, and I know that I said that I would be doing some of my Reinforced series, but my other fic has hit a bit of a wall that I'm trying to smash through at the minute, and writing this story is very difficult. The problem here is that I have very little structure in place, no set events that I can work with, expand upon, and describe. It's also troublesome in that humour is somewhat anathema to my usual writing style, so writing humorously is not coming easy to me. Still, I hope this chapter is enjoyable to you all.
Ah, another thing I want to say is this: Where should this story go next in the series? I already have plans for the Sekirei world, but that's three stories away, and I have plans for Highschool DxD as well, and that's going to be even further down the line than Sekirei. So, I want suggestions of which series to cross this over with, and when I've got a list of them, I'll stick a poll up for you all to vote on. You can suggest anything you want, from economy-based series like Spice and Wolf, to harem style series like Shuffle, to other things like the Inheritance Cycle. Just give me things to put in the poll, please.
Beta'd by: NIX'S WARDEN & The Legendary Reaper
Chapter 02 – Initial Introductions
Sirius froze for a moment. His eyes then locked on Mcgonagall, before shifting to the 'three' females on the chaise longue next to him. He looked back at Mcgonagall, and then back at the girls again. Deliberately, he set the newspaper in his hands down on the couch side he had access to and crossed his arms in front of him, forming an X shape.
"Nuh-uh, no way, no how, just no." He said. "I am not being accused of that, that's just wrong, and I would never even consider dating one of these three, no matter what age they were!" No mention was made of the fact that only one of the 'girls' was less than a millennia old.
The purple-haired girl laid between the other two pouted and sat up. "Do you not care about us, Siri?" She sniffed quietly, and even with that strange blindfold in the way, the observers could easily imagine how her eyes would be watering with the onset of tears. "I thought we were close, that we were... a family. Are we not a family after all?" Her voice was shaking with depression and rejection, and it was radiating 'broken bird syndrome' so badly that even Satan would feel a tugging at his heart strings, compelled to offer comfort to the young female.
Sirius Black simply shuddered. "Cut it out, Harry, you're really not helping matters here." He said. "And I can feel the seat vibrating with your laughter, so stow the crocodile tears."
"Harry?" Dumbledore enquired, looking at the girl once again. "Harry Potter?" The purple-haired girl nodded her head. "I see, our two worlds are different after all. Here, Harry Potter was born a boy, the 'Boy-Who-Lived', whereas you are a girl, Miss. Potter. I assume Harry is short for Harriet or something?" He mused.
That proved too much for the black haired girl in sunglasses who had been laid next to Harriet, and she proceeded to roll off the chaise longue, laughing even as she hit the floor. The winged girl also had a small smile on her face, while her shoulders shook slightly with mirth. "Will you introduce your companions to us?" He asked.
Harriet shrugged. "Sure. This is Sirius Black, who you apparently know, and these two girls are rather close to me, they are V/V and Alt. This midget here is Holly." That last bit was directed at the fairy girl.
"Oi!" The one apparently called Holly made her indignation known for that little title. "I'm not a midget!"
"You're twelve inches tall, Holly, that's pretty short." Harriet shot back… shortly.
Holly huffed, before suddenly growing in size, until she was about three inches short of four feet. "I'm working on that, I'm almost at four feet, see?"
Harry pulled the shorter – but most definitely adult proportioned, she was quite, well, 'stacked' as it were – female into a hug and patted her on the head. "I see, I'm sure it'll only take you a couple more months to reach a proper adult height."
Holly's cheeks flushed red at the close contact, and with her concentration broken she shrank back to being only twelve inches high, before alighting on Harry's shoulder and looking at everyone in the room. Her gaze lingered on a few individuals in particular, and Dumbledore took note of that, it could be important.
"Well, it- it looks like we've got a daughter instead of a son..." James Potter said, trailing off as he looked at the girl. He was slightly choked up, remembering this world's dead Harry, but he was trying to forge forwards, trying to ignore the wounds the loss had dealt him.
Sirius sighed. "Don't be fooled, Prongs. Harry is Harry, not Harriet."
Lily Potter, her eyes red from all of tears she had been crying the past months, asked Sirius. "What do you mean, does she not like her full name?" Thoughts of Nymphadora Tonks popped into her head, the metamorphmagus that hated her first name.
"No, I mean that's not Harriet, it's Harry, he's a guy." Sirius shook his head, voice muffled slightly by the face-palm he'd done when not one person realised that Harry was, in fact, male. Honestly, that boy was too beautiful for his own good!
"WHAT?" Hogwarts shuddered slightly from the onslaught of noise.
xxxxx
Lily Potter looked at this alternate to her son, closely examining 'him'. Her eyes were rimmed red, having hardly gone a day without crying over the loss of her first-born. When Dumbledore had mentioned the ritual that he wanted to conduct, a tiny spark of hope within her had said that, no matter how unlikely or even impossible it might be, perhaps it had a chance of bringing back her own son into this world.
However, instead of bringing back her son from the land of the dead, this... purple-haired youth had been brought before them instead. She could be forgiven for thinking him a girl, he was after all ridiculously beautiful, though there was something ethereal about him, something inhuman, like he transcended simple human attractiveness.
Perhaps it was better this way, a small voice whispered in the back of her mind. If Harry had actually looked like this world's counterpart of him, she might have felt as if she was trying to replace him, to forget about her original son's death by putting this person in her son's place.
That wouldn't be remotely possible now. All of the photos around the house that showed their son, flying on his broom, playing with the Marauders in their Animagus forms, playing with his friends, sitting under a tree with his girlfriend, and so many more, were of a black-haired boy with green eyes, a fair tan, and broad shoulders.
Trying to overlay an image of him onto this slender, purple-haired, blindfold wearing, feminine boy was an exercise in futility. This was much better, as it would allow her to form a relationship with him without the feeling of nagging betrayal of having replaced her son.
xxxxx
James Potter, upon hearing about this apparently being his 'son', had a few thoughts that danced through his mind. One of those thoughts was that this Harry had an excellent seeker's build. Another thought was a question regarding his 'son's' sexual leanings, it really wasn't normal for a guy to look that girly, right?
James knew that there were loads of potions that could permanently change someone's appearances, but those were usually used by rich upper-class pureblood women in order to look more attractive or younger. The potions in question were expensive and difficult to brew, as the slightest mistake could cause unexpected changes when said potion was consumed.
James didn't know what to think when he saw this version of his son, it was not what he was expecting at all. He had thought that Harry was Harry, and he would be just the same as the son he'd known and lost. He thought that he'd be taking a black haired boy out to Quidditch games, playing pranks with him, messing around in his Animagus form, teaching him the fine art of seduction, and hopefully blotting out the hole in his heart caused by the first Harry's untimely death.
That... that was simply not possible.
Even if this version of Harry liked Quidditch as much as his alternate had, even if he did like playing tricks, he was simply too different to be his Harry. He could not fool himself, no matter how much he might try, to equate his son with this boy stood in front of them was simply impossible.
xxxxx
Harry internally snickered as he saw the conflicted expressions cross the faces of various individuals. Obviously, seeing him and comparing him to the Harry Potter they all knew would be rather... jarring. It would help Harry himself though, if they already acknowledged him as different, they were less likely to try and fit him into their 'correct' image of the boy.
"So," He said, looking around. "I get that I've been summoned, that's pretty obvious. What I don't get is why. Is it normal to kidnap random people from alternate realities, drag in anyone who was close by, and then drop them in the middle of a large group of people?"
Dumbledore smiled, happy to get to the heart of the matter. "My boy-"
"Not yours!" V/V and Altrouge cut him off instantly. "Ours, and maybe a few others as well..."
The Sirius Black still sat on the edge of the chaise longue chuckled as the TYPE and the Dead Apostle Ancestor each clamped themselves onto one of Harry's arms. Everyone else in the hall, somewhat taken aback, just blinked in sync, unsure of what to make of that statement.
"Okay, so not my boy then." Dumbledore said slowly, not used to people acting like that towards him. "Harry, we have a problem that we need you to fix. You see, the Dark Lord Voldemort of this world killed your alternate in this world and is set to bring dark times to our world, and so we summoned you, a hero, to slay the foul being for us."
Harry rubbed at his ears. "Did I just hear you right?" He asked. "Voldemort killed a fourteen year old boy, so you believed that the only acceptable response was to... kidnap another young boy from another world and make him into a weapon to get rid of your own problem?"
"The ritual was altered in order to summon someone who had already defeated their foe, so you have already killed Voldemort once, a second go shouldn't be too much to ask, right?" Dumbledore frowned a little there. "However, we were expecting someone a little... older. How old are you again, twelve? Thirteen?"
Harry sighed. "I'm fifteen." Maybe he should consider shape-shifting himself into an older-looking body. As comfortable as he was looking like he did, it could easily lead to all sorts of misinterpretations. On the other hand, it was Harry's body, he could do whatever the hell he wanted to it!
"How did you defeat the Dark Lord anyway?" Fudge asked, he and several other Ministry representatives finally making a proper appearance in this fic. "If we knew that, then perhaps we could come with a strategy or something to stop him ourselves!"
Harry had to give Fudge points for that in his mind, it was a rather intelligent idea after all. Too bad he was in the mood for trolling them some more, not to mention they couldn't replicate his feat anyway. "We had a staring contest, I won." Was Harry's reply.
"A staring contest?" Mcgonagall asked in disbelief. "You really expect us to believe that?"
"It's the truth." Sirius nodded his head. "It does leave some details out however, there is a reason Harry wears that blindfold after all." A partial truth. Harry wore his own Breaker Gorgon because he liked it, he could control hid eyes without it now, after his experiments had sorted that issue out.
"Oh, and what reason might that be?" Dumbledore asked.
"One that I'm not telling you, perhaps? What is this, an interrogation?" Harry replied.
"No, nothing of the sort." Dumbledore waved him off. "We are just, understandably, curious about how you defeated him before, and whether the same method will work once again. Of course, if you really defeated him in a... staring contest, then he shouldn't be too much of an issue for you, should he?"
"Whoever said I was going to defeat him for you?" Harry once again had to suppress his laughter at the stunned silence his words had caused.
Of course, the silence didn't last, and utter chaos erupted all around the hall. Harry and those who had arrived with him sat in a little bubble of calm provided by his magic, while the Aurors present, along with the professors, tried to rein in the panicking students.
xxxxx
Harry looked around Dumbledore's office, seeing how different it might be from the one in his birth world. As far as he could tell, the differences were mostly superficial. The Sword of Gryffindor was on the wall, which he promptly added to his stolen Unlimited Blade Works copy. This office didn't have the picture taken of the Christmas dinner in third year that the other Dumbledore had put up. There were other changes, but those were the most noticeable, despite how minor they were.
Sirius was sitting on a chair off to the side of Harry, and he was also looking around the room. He was mentally rolling around giggling. The chaos that had descended in the Great Hall when Harry had asked why he would defeat Voldemort for them... well, it outdid the Marauder's food fight of '76 by quite a wide margin. No wonder they had decided to take things to a more private setting.
Now he was watching as everyone else in the room stared at Harry closely. Harry himself was sitting on a chair he'd conjured – though it was more like a small sofa, having more than enough space for V/V and Alt to cuddle up next to him from either side – and the two Lens were sitting on the arms of said chair, while Holly maintained her perch on Harry's shoulder.
Of course, three of Harry's Servants were also present, if astralised. Illya and Tamamo were leaning against Harry's seat on either side, while Jack was closely watching those behind Harry, who he couldn't see directly. Sirius couldn't see those three, but he knew they were somewhere nearby at least.
Sirius then turned his attention back to those who were actually in the room. Dumbledore was there, of course, and so were the four heads of Houses. The Minister for Magic was there, as well as... Umbridge? Yeah, his secretary or something like that, she was there. Amelia Bones was present, and so was Rufus Scrimgeour, who headed the Aurors under Madam Bones.
There were a few Aurors scattered about as well, two of them keeping close to the Minister, but let's ignore them for now, and focus on who else was there, which was pretty much a selection of people from Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix. Alastor Moody was one of the ones behind Harry that Jack was keeping a close eye on, Remus was standing with Lily and James, all three of them fairly close to Dumbledore.
For some currently unknown reason, Molly Weasley of all people was present, and there was someone else standing back in the shadows, a female if the shape of the silhouette was anything to go by. Sirius was the only human in the room able to read Harry's more subtle displays of emotion – well, subtle in that he wasn't blatantly broadcasting them, no one would be able to read Harry if he actually clamped down full control of himself – and was wondering why Harry was directing such a sense of amusement at the hidden woman.
"Now then, my de-" Dumbledore cut himself off as V/V and Alt were about to open their mouths. "Harry." He stressed the name, and Sirius almost laughed out loud at Dumbledore's eyebrow that was twitching just the slightest bit. "Now, Harry, can you expl- Please pay attention to me!"
Sirius looked across to Harry, and saw that he had a book open in his lap that he was reading. The book looked rather odd, it seemed to be made from some black stone of some kind – obsidian? - and had golden hinges. From what Sirius could see, it was written in Egyptian Hieroglyphics.
That book looked slightly familiar.
"Harry, you know those movies I was watching the other day?" Sirius asked.
"Yep." Harry replied.
"Is that a replica or the genuine article?" Sirius was pretty sure it was the latter, but he could hope, dammit!
"The latter. She, as you might or might not expect, trusts me to look after it, and who would be stupid enough to give me a book and not expect me to read it? Oh, I also have its counterpart as well." Harry's answer made Sirius flinch, why would Death trust the 'Book of the Dead' to Harry of all people? Okay, he would keep them safe, but there was no guarantee he wouldn't use something he found in them, and goodness knows what was written in those pages.
"Mr. Potter, put that away and pay attention to the headmaster when he's talking to you!" Mcgonagall reprimanded Harry.
Harry sighed, before the book in his hands was engulfed by shadows, which then disappeared, taking the book with them. He then looked up at Dumbledore, or at least he appeared to be looking at the elderly human, his blindfold was pointing in the right direction at least.
"Mr. Potter, Harry, can you please explain what you said back in the Great Hall? It sounded to me like you weren't concerned about Lord Voldemort." Dumbledore asked. "Are you really so callous that you'd leave innocents to suffer?"
"Since when is it my job to keep your Dark Lord in check?" Harry shrugged. "Also, what evidence is there that he is a dark lord? Alternate realities are all different, some slightly and others more so, so as far as I know, 'Voldemort' could be a charity worker with a thing for rescuing orphaned kittens, and you could be puppy-eating monsters."
"Mr. Potter, how dare you accuse the Headmaster of being anything other than the great man he is!" Mcgonagall admonished Harry, glaring sternly at him. "We are trying to sort out a major problem here and you are being deliberately unhelpful."
Despite the blindfold in the way, the weight of the look Harry graced the Transfiguration professor with was enough to silence the room. His lips were compressed into a thin line, and he was totally unmoving as he maintained 'eye' contact with the older woman.
When Harry spoke, his light, musical voice was layered with a rather different tone. This one was smooth, soft, and dangerous. "Yes, you are trying to solve a problem. The issue is the method which you chose. Rather than confronting the predicament yourself, you instead chose to kidnap someone else and are attempting to force them to solve it for you."
"Mr. Potter-" Mcgonagall went to reply, but she didn't manage to get any further.
"Tell me." Harry said, cutting her off. "Aside from summoning me, and those that came with me, what changes have been made? Have the Auror Department received a larger budget? Have any hit-wizards been hired to remove the threat? Have any bounties been placed on the head of known Death Eaters? What have you done to ensure that the populace stays safe?"
Amelia Bones stepped forwards at that point. "Mr. Potter, I can assure you that I have done all I can in regards to my department. For security reasons, I can't tell you exactly what I've done, but I can tell you that restrictions have been tightened, the alert level has been raised, and I have petitioned for my Aurors to receive funding for further training."
Harry tilted his head in the Minister's direction.
"We can't give them money we don't have!" He exclaimed. "Taxes are being raised, but the money isn't instantly just going to appear out of nowhere. When we do have the money, I assure you that the first Department to get some padding for their budget will be the DMLE."
Harry's attention was caught, to his slight surprise, by Filius Flitwick next. The part-goblin's tone was serious, and there was a hard look in his eyes. "As you will probably have expected, the Dementors almost instantly transferred their allegiances to the Dark Lord. I made efforts at the end of last year to instruct the students on how to cast the Patronus charm. I have received surprisingly good results, and there are now a number of students capable of practising said charm."
Dumbledore nodded his head. "There has been an idea floating around for a means to practise the spell, a club that gets Patronus charms to fight each other. The focus neccesary to direct and strengthen the patronus would be a good way to learn more about regulating how much magic a student puts into their spells. Perhaps you could be taught the charm and join in the club."
Harry snorted. "I already know the Patronus charm, I learnt it years ago. There is a reason I'm known as the Infinite Archive after all."
"Infinite Archive?" Lily Potter asked in confusion.
"A corporeal patronus?" Flitwick inquired curiously, at the same time as his former student. "Could you show us?"
"My patronus is a little large to show you in here, it's really not small, and it does take on a rather... distinctive form." Harry answered the Charms professor.
Sirius was the one who answered Lily's question. "Yeah, Harry's called the Infinite Archive, amongst other things. He got that title because of the ridiculous amounts of knowledge he's assimilated. He knows everything, from History, to Mathematics, to Literature, and as for Magic, well, I don't think there's a spell you could name that Harry doesn't know and is capable of casting." His pride for Harry shone through as he told them that, puffing up and grinning widely.
"I highly doubt that." Severus Snape spoke up with a slight sneer. "A brat that hasn't even taken his OWLs being given such a title? Are you sure that you are not simply enamoured with the boy's first title? We have already seen what happens to the Boy-Who-Lived, he is not the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice, and with good reason."
Harry shrugged. "I'm not here to make you think one thing or another, I'm here because you lot kidnapped me, something that seems to keep disappearing from this discussion, almost like you lot are avoiding the issue and trying to offload your Voldemort problem onto me."
Harry looked around at them all with a raised eyebrow.
"We still haven't proven that you are the 'good guys' yet either." He added, with heavy disdain at the mention of a concept of 'good'. His personal belief was that good and evil was a matter of perspective, one man's hero is another's villain after all.
"We are trying to solve our Voldemort problem, that is the reason we summoned you in the first place." Dumbledore seemed to be getting to the end of his tether, and his words were a little sharper than they had previously been, and his grandfatherly mask was slipping slightly.
"Like I said before, what motivation do I have to do so?" Harry replied blandly. "What reason do I have to kill someone for you?" Harry sighed. "You seem to be suffering under some sort of delusion that makes you believe that I will simply do what you say, no questions asked, and that will be that. I'm sorry to tell you this, but the world doesn't work that way."
"Mr. Potter, we are trying to be reasonable with you here-" Mcgonagall started to say before getting cut off by the purple-haired boy.
"Reasonable, really?" Harry asked, his voice going even softer, making a shiver run down the backs of everyone present as a hint of malice began to creep into his tone. The temperature seemed to drop rapidly, and shadows seemed to dance just out of view. "How is it reasonable to kidnap me from my own reality and expect me to help you? No, you don't even expect me to help you, you expect me to just, what, click my fingers and make everything okay, is that it?"
Harry sat back in his seat, V/V and Alt cuddling closer to him from either side. "There's also the matter of how I would return home. Summoning only calls something towards you, and Banishing only drives it away. There is no way for you direct me back to my own world, so what are you going to do about that, may I ask?"
Sirius knew the boy was only twisting the knife in their wound here, it wasn't exactly difficult for him to return home after all, he had been going between worlds for years now. They didn't need to know that though, and he couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces when Harry eventually revealed that he could use the Kaleidoscope, albeit with far less skill than Zelretch could.
Dumbledore went to open his mouth, but Harry overrode him immediately. "How do you propose to do that, which is impossible with your magic? How do you suggest I could return to my own world, my own home, my own family? Are you so selfish to believe that they don't matter in the 'grand scheme of things'?"
"But your parents are right here, Harry!" Dumbledore indicated Lily and James Potter. "While their will almost certainly be small differences, I'm sure you could grow to love them just as much as you always have done."
"I don't have any love for James or Lily Potter." Harry's words shocked everyone. "I never got the chance to know them after all. Neither of my birth parents survived that attack on Halloween, and I grew up with other people, treasuring them, and while I can acknowledge those two there, they are simply not the ones who raised me."
A lot of people turned to Sirius at that point, and the dog animagus threw his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I didn't raise Harry either. When James and Lily were killed, I- I was mad with rage, and I went after the rat. Unfortunately, the rat was smarter than I expected, and I was framed for his crime, as well as his murder and that of twelve muggles when he faked his death. I was thrown into Azkaban without a trial for twelve years. In actual fact, you could say that I've only really known Harry for about a year now myself."
"So then who did raise Harry?" Lily asked, her voice small and weak.
"It doesn't matter right now." Harry replied. "Suffice to say, I grew up with a family of my own, I lived my life – heck, I even offed my own world's Voldemort – and now, just when things are calming back down, you rudely rip me away from them and want me to be your toy soldier. If I had a reason to fight Voldemort, I would, but I don't, and that's that."
"Are you really that much of a monster that you will not defend the innocent any more?" Dumbledore asked. "Are you so heartless that the thought of the Light being eclipsed by darkness does not move you to action? Where is the Harry Potter we all know and love? Where is our saviour?"
"Okay, point one, why can't the 'innocent' defend themselves? Add onto that the fact it's the Law Enforcement's job to deal with terrorists. Second item on the list: Light? Dark? Are you living in some sort of fantasy novel? The world isn't so black and white, and assuming that Light is good and Dark is evil is the thought processes of the ignorant and children. As for the 'Harry Potter you know and love', from what you lot are spouting, it sounds like he is dead, and I am no replacement, and nor am I something as ridiculous as a 'saviour'!" Harry rolled his eyes at that last world.
Everyone was silent for a moment, but it looked like Dumbledore was going to try and bulldoze his way through things and try and get Harry into the slot he wanted him in. "It's getting late, and I'm sure everyone is tired." The Headmaster said. "Why don't we all go home and get some sleep? I'm sure we can sort out any issues we have in the morning."
There was some grumbling, but general agreement seemed to be the consensus. The Ministry employees were the first to leave, Fudge going through the floo with two Aurors beside him, some being sent on ahead, and some following immediately afterwards. Strangely, that Umbridge woman stayed behind.
Harry had remained in his seat, and raised one eyebrow above his blindfold when Dumbledore tried to shoo him off to bed. "You have yet to inform me of where I am to sleep for the duration of my time here." He told Dumbledore. "Nor do I currently have any clothing but what I am currently wearing, and the same is true for the others as well."
"Why, your bed in Gryffindor tower is waiting for you, did you expect to be housed somewhere else?" Dumbledore asked him. The teachers, who had not left the office yet, listened into the conversation, or, in the case of one Severus Snape, added their own caustic words.
"A regular student dormitory not good enough for the Boy-Who-Lived?" He mocked. "Were you expecting special treatment, a room to yourself and a host of house elves for your personal use perhaps? If you're not even going to do the job you were summoned for, why should we bend over backwards for you?"
"I never said that, so stop putting words in my mouth." Harry shot back at Snape, a hint of irritation leaking into his voice. "As for Gryffindor, whoever said I was sorted into that House? Just because my alternate in this world was one doesn't mean I was one as well."
"In that case, I suppose a sorting would be best!" Dumbledore seemed pleased, as he lifted the Sorting Hat off a high shelf and placed it on his desk in front of him. "How does that sound to you, Hat? Are you willing to sort Harry here into the correct house?"
The hat sighed. "Stick me on his head, let's see where he belongs."
The teachers hadn't all departed yet, and the ones which were on the way to the door stopped and regarded Harry curiously. Several of them seemed to be trying to identify the symbol on his forehead, before the hat was placed on his head, hiding it from view.
"What in the name of Merlin is this!?" The hat shouted out immediately upon trying to access Harry's mind.
"What?" Dumbledore perked up, having thought the hat would simply sort Harry, not react as if it had been set on fire. This was interesting. "Is there... something wrong in his mind?"
"I haven't even gotten into his mind yet." The Sorting Hat replied. "It's the way it's structured that's so strange. I've sat on many heads, millions of wizards and witches, of all ages, I've even sat on the heads of Magi seven times in my existence, and once upon the head of a Dead Apostle Ancestor. Each mind is different, but they all have similarities. This one, it does not resemble the mind of a wizard, nor even a magus. There's something like the echo of an apostle to it, but nothing more than that, it's... simply indescribable. I like it!"
"You... like it?" Dumbledore asked, somewhat dumbfounded.
"Yes, I do." The hat replied. "It's new and interesting, why wouldn't I like it?"
Harry felt the hat try and pierce through his mental defences, but rather than letting it through like he would have the Sorting Hat he was more familiar with, he halted it in its tracks. Sheer surprise radiated off the hat at that, having never been stopped before.
"I can feel a difference between this hat and the one back in the other world." Harry said, examining the magic which the bound the hat together. "This one, unlike its counterpart, is not bound to keep the secrets of those who have their minds read by it, am I wrong?"
Dumbledore blinked. "Of course it's like that, the Sorting Hat is able to ferret out anyone's intentions and can relay anything it finds, that only makes sense. If it finds someone who is a threat, it is able to let us know about it, thus making it a very valuable object. Now, let's get you sorted."
"I can't." The hat replied. "I... can't access his mind." It sounded frustrated, and Harry could guess exactly why that was. Regular Occlumency would be useless against the hat, no wizard's mind would be able to stand against it for very long. Harry's mind, however was rather weird.
Like the Sorting Hat had said, his mind was not structured like a wizard's was. If one were to think about minds in terms of architecture, then a regular human's mind would be an ordinary terraced house, a wizard's mind would be a detached one, and a magus' mind would most certainly have a cellar or something like it. A Dead Apostle's mind would be like a small castle, or perhaps a mansion, while a TYPE's mind would most closely resemble a series of twisting underground passageways, rather like a bee's nest.
Harry's mind was a forest of near dead trees, the ruins of a once grand castle littered throughout it, and rivers of endless curses winding in between. Stalking through the forest were various mental creations of Harry's, from wolves and snakes to bats and birds. Of course, there was an uncountable number of his Primate Murder patronuses in there as well, not to mention various traps and other nasty surprises for any invaders.
Of course, that was only what Harry knew was there. He knew that Serial Phantasm, Tyrant, Dream or Destruction, and Shadow of the Heart had all formed their own little additions and changes to various parts of his mind, and his connection to the Void was also in there as well, so Harry didn't actually know what his mind truly looked like.
"If you think I'm going to just let something into my mind without some sort of guarantee that it's not going to, A, mess around with it, and B, tell everyone what it finds in there, you really must be an idiot." Harry stated blandly. "I'm not stupid enough to let that happen."
"Come now, Harry, I'm sure that you have no deep, dark secrets that the Sorting Hat might share with us. Simply let it in and we can get you sorted into a house." Dumbledore wheedled, wondering what the hat would be able to tell him later. While deep, dark secrets had their own uses, simply knowing how a person thought went a long way to understanding how to guide them in a particular direction.
"Stop laughing, puppy." Harry admonished, conjuring a metal wash basin above a madly laughing Sirius Black, which fell down and smacked him on the head before vanishing. "As for secrets, I have a heck of a lot of them, and I'm not trusting a single one to this tatty piece of enchanted fabric."
The Sorting Hat sat on Harry's head grumbled, partly due to being called tatty, and partially due to Harry not letting him into his mind. "How about an oath?" The hat asked. "I swear that the only thing I will tell them is what House you belong in and nothing else, and you let me examine what's in that mind of yours?"
"What sort of oath would you be swearing, and what sort of repercussions are you willing to risk?" Harry immediately asked back.
"How about an oath of silence? If I took that oath, I would be literally incapable of speaking about you at all, throw in a blanket communication ban and that would prevent me from trying to convey information even with pantomime actions." The hat suggested.
"Throw in a restriction on 'transfer' of information as well and I'll accept that, repercussions... Hmm, how about by the power I embody and the curses I carry? If you even attempt to break the oath you would be subjected to my... magic, before suffering final destruction." Yeah, after the hat had gone through his mind, it would know what being assaulted by Angra Mainyu's curses would mean, and it wouldn't be pleasant.
"Very well." The hat agreed, and gave Harry its oath. Once Harry had made sure the oath was as binding as it could be, and even reinforced it somewhat with his own divine power (Divine punishment was a thing, who'd have thought it?), he then allowed the hat inside his mind.
The people watching the hat sort through Harry's mind were rather surprised at how the hat acted as it tried to sort Harry. The hat, while it was just a piece of fabric, was remarkably expressive. Its reactions ranged from incredulous, to amused, to confused, and to utter horror as well.
After a while, the hat gulped heavily. "I see, now, that... that was most certainly an 'interesting' experience."
"So, which house is Harry going to be sorted into?" Dumbledore asked.
The hat was silent for a few seconds, before it spoke up. "I don't know."
Mcgonagall blinked in surprise, as did many of the others still there. "What do you mean 'you don't know'?" She asked it. "Surely he must be a fit for at least one of the houses."
"Yes, he is." The Sorting Hat replied. "He's a fit for all of the houses. He is fearless, able to tackle any task without hesitation. He's loyal to those who have earned his friendship, willing to go to any lengths for them. He is intelligent, by Merlin is he smart beyond any reasonable limits! As for his cunning, well, he is certainly capable of moulding situations how he wishes, when he does bother with the subtle approach."
"So which house will you sort him into?" Dumbledore asked once again, a little more insistent this time.
"I don't know!" The hat shot back. "I could sort him anywhere, and he has no particular preference or bias."
"Then perhaps he should simply be placed in Gryffindor, it will allow us to-" Dumbledore began, but the hat cut him off.
"Insist on Gryffindor once more and I'll put him in Slytherin just to spite you." The hat growled. Here was a unique mind, and he would be buggered if the Headmaster pigeon-holed Harry as a generic 'hero' of the 'Light', not that it would work on Harry of all people, his sense of morality was a little... askew.
"But-" Dumbledore went to speak again, and was once more cut off.
"SLYTHERIN!" The hat shouted. "There, now he's sorted."
"Great, now can I get some sleep?" Harry asked, feigning tiredness.
"I suppose so, Mr. Potter." Mcgonagall said, flicking her wand at him. Harry raised an eyebrow when nothing happened, and saw her frown deepen as she tried to cast a spell again, with the same result. "Why isn't this working?" She mumbled.
"What are you trying to do?" Harry asked.
"I'm trying to transfigure your outfit into a sensible robe in Slytherin colours." Mcgonagall told him. "For some reason, it's not working as it should. Are you wearing dragon hide?"
"No, my coat is made of basilisk hide." Harry shrugged. "And my clothes are warded to a ridiculous level, so transfiguration ain't going to do anything unless you have the magic of a phantasmal dragon to back your spells up. Besides, I haven't worn a robe in years, and I have no intention of changing that now."
"Basilisk hide?" Mcgonagall wasn't the only one who choked at that. "And what was that about not wearing a robe?"
"Doesn't matter. Now, I think I'll head off to bed, if you don't mind." Harry replied, and before anyone could stop him, he'd managed to slip out of the door, his companions – sans Sirius – accompanying him. Everyone was left blinking at the abrupt departure, aside Sirius, who had noticed Harry's irritation beginning to build. The girls would probably 'calm him down' before tomorrow.
"Well, that's Harry sorted." Sirius drew everyone's attention to himself. "Now, two things, what am I going to be doing while here, and where is my own alternate?" He asked that last bit with a look of slight disappointment mixed with fear, worried about where his counterpart might fit into this world.
Remus saw Sirius' concern and gave him a small grin. "Don't worry, Pads, you're not dead or anything. You went abroad for something, Dumbledore asked you to do it, but you should be back in a few days." Sirius got the hint, Dumbledore had sent him on a mission for the Order of the Phoenix.
Dumbledore continued. "As for where you can stay, I'm sure that one of the guest quarters should suffice, though I'm not entirely sure what you could do while you're here." He would ask Sirius whether he would join the Order another time, when those unaffiliated with it weren't in earshot.
"Before any of that, however, is there anything you'd like to share about Harry, something that would allow us, and his parents, to understand him better?" Dumbledore asked. "You must understand that we were thrown quite off-balance, as while we did expect Harry to be different, well, he seems to be a completely separate individual."
Remus nodded his head. "Yeah, I've been wondering about that. It's been pretty nerve rattling seeing him, especially with how he makes the wolf react. All of them are getting reactions from my wolf, and it's urging me to be careful around them, even those two cats!"
Sirius shrugged. "That's Harry's secret to tell, not mine, I'm not going to divulge anything that Harry's not comfortable you knowing. I will say this, Alt is his best friend, but he does value the opinions of... certain others, and trying to influence him one way or another is a very bad idea." Sirius shuddered. "Trust me when I say that you don't want him mad at you."
"Oh, a prankster like his father, is he?" Remus grinned.
Sirius shook his head. "No, Harry can be far more vicious and inventive than James ever was, and he has a lot more options available." Sirius shuddered again. "Not to mention all of the girls willing to pitch their own suggestions, some of them are almost as scary as Harry when he looses his temper."
"We can discuss this in the morning." Dumbledore interrupted them. "It seems certain members of our group are currently... indisposed, so leaving things for one night is probably for the best." Dumbledore glanced at both James Potter and Severus Snape at this point.
"My son, a Slytherin?" James was repeating over and over, the thought not seeming to percolate into his mind.
To be fair, Snape's current state was, if possible, even worse.
Sirius would swear he could hear Snape mutter in a stunned mumble "A Potter, Slytherin. Slytherin, Potter."