A/N: Another one-shot from the anon prompt 'depraved' using the theme 'called/texted the wrong number'. Sebastian intercepts a late night text from Kurt and decides to have some fun with him instead of telling him he's got the wrong number. (Warning for language, mention of sexual acts, infidelity, mention of Blaine.)

Bzzz-bzzz.

The buzzing near Sebastian's ear chips away at his sleep, slowly waking him from a stupor brought on by too much European History too late at night.

Bzzz-bzzz.

He shoves his text book off his chest where it lays open and looks at his phone, traveling along his smooth desk surface as it vibrates with the arrival of a new text message.

Bzzz-bzzz.

Sebastian takes a glance at his desk clock.

2:30 a.m.

"Jesus Christ," he murmurs, definitely unamused. "Somebody better be fucking dead."

He picks up his phone and reads the number on the screen, frowning in confusion. He doesn't recognize it right away. It's listed as unknown since he never saved it under his contacts. The last time he saw that number flash across his screen, Kurt Hummel was scolding Sebastian about how he was 'on to him' and how he didn't like the way Sebastian talked to his boyfriend.

Sebastian smirks when he opens the message.

Hey, sweetie. Are you awake?

Sebastian stares at the message, at a loss as to why Kurt would call him 'sweetie' and why he would care if he was awake. Then Sebastian smiles. Kurt must have misdialed. He thinks he's talking to Blaine.

He could, for once, just do the nice guy thing and tell Kurt that he's talking to the wrong person. Sebastian is exhausted, and in roughly five hours he's going to be preparing to take one of the hardest mid-terms he has all year.

But Sebastian rarely did 'the good guy thing', and this is too precious an opportunity to pass up.

'I'm awake. What's up?'

Sebastian isn't sure how Kurt and Blaine's conversations usually go, so he hopes this first text is vague and noncommittal enough to be convincing.

What are you wearing?

Sebastian opens his eyes wide, his grin growing to astronomical proportions at the thought of where this conversation is most likely headed. He figures he'll bite and give it a good jumping off point.

'Nothing.'

Really?

Sebastian can't believe he's actually giggling when he sends the next text.

'Yup. I'm not wearing a thing.'

It's almost like you expected me to text you.

'Well, I was hoping you would.'

Sebastian snickers and almost drops his phone.

Are you up for a little phone sex?

Sebastian pauses for a moment. Kurt wants Blaine to call him. He has to think of some reason not to that Kurt will believe. Sebastian thinks over the day, over every time he saw Princess Hummel and Dapper Dan together. Not too much interesting happened if you don't count that heinous note Blaine hit during Katy Perry's Hot N Cold today. Sebastian starts typing again.

'Throat's a little sore from Warbler practice. How about some sexting?'

Sebastian hits send and waits. Kurt must be chomping at the bit because he doesn't have to wait that long.

I could do that. So, do you want me?

Sebastian rolls his eyes. Desperate much?

'It's all I think about.'

If you were in my room right now, would you want to fuck me?

"Ooo, Kurt. Such language," Sebastian says, eyes wide as he re-reads the message, trying to imagine it in Kurt's high-pitched, breathy voice.

'Yes, I want to fuck you. Is that even a question?'

Would you kiss me first?

'Of course I would, babe.'

Hmmm, babe. I like that. But why so shy? Be specific.

Sebastian closes his eyes and pictures Kurt, pictures his body. If Kurt was there and Sebastian was about to have sex with him, where would he kiss him? Well, his lips are out, seeing as Kurt would need a paper bag to cover up his gay face just so that Sebastian could stomach it. He chuckles at his own private joke, but then sobers up and tries to focus. Actually, he hates to admit it, but Kurt isn't really half bad considering. He's actually kind of handsome. He's not Sebastian's usual type, but he wouldn't kick that tiny waist and that tight ass out of bed if he had the chance. Kurt's skin is so smooth, so flawless, begging to be marked up properly, and his eyes – there is something about his eyes that Sebastian can definitely see himself getting lost in.

The illusion is killed stone dead though every time Kurt opens his mouth and speaks.

Not because of his unique, somewhat effeminate countertenor voice, but because of his sassy ass tongue.

Though lately, Sebastian kind of likes Kurt's sassy ass tongue.

"Be specific, huh?"

Sebastian rolls onto his stomach on the bed, staring at his cell phone screen.

'I'd kiss your neck behind your left ear…your chest over your heart…every inch of your left arm…'

Sebastian sends that much to see what kind of reaction he will get.

That's a nice start. Keep going.

Sebastian blows out a breath, shifting on his bed to accommodate an annoyingly untimely erection. He tells himself it's nothing, that there is absolutely no way he's getting a hard-on sexting Hummel of all people. It's the technical aspects that are getting him hot. It's been a while since he's kissed anyone, touched anyone. After this he'll find some naïve boy questioning his sexuality and take out all this pent up frustration on him.

He clears his mind and tries to think of all the intimate, sappy places that Blaine probably kisses Kurt.

'…your left wrist followed by your right…your hips, traveling in a slow line to your knees and then all the way down to your ankles…'

Sebastian hits send, his free hand snaking into his pajama pants, holding his now aching cock, waiting for Kurt to respond.

Then what would you do?

Sebastian types a few words, but then quickly erases them and types something else.

'What would you do? I'm doing all the work here.'

Sebastian hits send and waits, anticipation causing his cock to throb in his hand. He bides his time thinking about calculus, the dates of the next ten lacrosse meets, his own part swaying in the background of the Katy Perry show stopper extravaganza that Blaine saddled them with – anything to kill his boner.

I'm dying to give you a blowjob.

Sebastian chokes on air.

There's no way his erection is dying now. It springs to life in his hand, and the next text Kurt sends makes it even worse.

I want to wrap my lips around your thick cock. I want to suck you slowly, with your fingers grabbing at my hair. I want you pounding in my mouth and begging to cum down my throat.

"Holy…and…shit," Sebastian mutters, stroking himself subconsciously as he reads the message over and over again, seething that now he actually has a reason to be jealous of Blaine Anderson.

'But I wouldn't cum, because I'd want your ass too much.'

Sebastian turns to his side to give his hand more room to move around his cock.

And how would you want me? On my stomach or on my back?

An hour ago Sebastian would have said on his stomach, because – gay face. But he thinks it over, imagines every detail in his mind – the hickeys he would suck into Kurt's pale neck, the flush of red that would rise into his cheeks, those blue eyes staring up at him, blown wide with lust and excitement, maybe even affection…or something close.

'I would pin you down, hold your wrists over your head so I can look deep into your eyes while I pound into you.'

It's a bit more romantic than Sebastian normally lets himself think, but he doesn't care. It seems right for Kurt. Sebastian's hand moves faster, and he feels heat rising all around him, his legs trembling slightly as he curses Kurt to type quicker. Only then does the thought hit him – maybe Kurt's touching himself, too.

Sebastian moans out loud at the thought of Captain Prim and Proper with his hand thrust down his pants, jerking off to Sebastian's text messages. Sebastian's phone buzzes again, but he almost doesn't catch it over the sound of his own whimpering.

I'd wrap my legs around your waist and pull you close because I need to kiss you.

Sebastian can almost feel it; those lithe legs struggling to stay wrapped around his middle, Kurt crunching up to reach him, to kiss him, probably missing his mouth, but connecting at his neck, his chest, a single flick of his pink tongue over Sebastian's nipple.

Sebastian groans, hips working his cock into his fist over and over, and he almost regrets having started this.

Almost.

I'm cumming.

Sebastian reads the text, and that heat that's been rising around him turns into an all-out fire, filling him from his stomach to his fingertips, down to his feet and to the tips of hair with its delicious burn. Sebastian fumbles for the phone as his entire body rebels, wanting to close in on itself and wait out the explosion.

'That's it, babe. Cum for me. Cum for me now…'

He mutters the words as he types them, the sound of his own wrecked voice mixed with the image of Kurt somewhere in the dorms with his hips stuttering, his head buried into his pillow as he bites back a moan, his hand covered in his own cum, tipping Sebastian over the edge. He tries for one last text, but he gives up, shoving his free hand into his mouth and biting down hard on the knuckle, stroking himself through his release, eyes squeezed tight with the last image he had of Kurt, now relaxing back onto his mattress with a goofy smile on his face, fading from his memory.

As soon as the haze of his euphoria begins to clear, a strange swirl of thoughts and emotions enters his brain, the first one being, "I just had sex with Kurt Hummel!"

He says it out loud to hear how it sounds, and he laughs, thinking about the look on Blaine's face if he ever found out, but even that doesn't seem to give him as much joy as the thought that he just gave (indirectly) Kurt pleasure. He made the Ice Queen cum.

He couldn't let that affect him though. This was a prank, revenge, pure and simple, regardless of how much his racing heart longed to do it again.

Fuck, I came so hard.

Sebastian reads the message and smirks, trying to find a way back to the bastard in him that started this as a way to get back at Kurt, not a way to dream about what his skin would feel like hot beneath his fingers, or what his cum might taste like on his tongue as he licked it off Kurt's hand.

'I'm sorry, were you looking for Blaine? Because he's not here. I'm afraid you've been sexting the wrong guy.'

He hits send, but he doesn't feel the incredible sense of triumph he thought he would. In fact, the text he sent sounds kind of lame when he reads it back to himself. Still, he tries to imagine Kurt's face when he reads the message, the inevitable flip out that would ensue, and the text equivalent of a screechy tirade that he's sure to receive any minute. After about ten minutes of not receiving a return message he pictures Kurt in his room having a full on level five meltdown. What if he's hyperventilating? A part of him wants to burst out laughing, but another part of him wants to race to Kurt's room to make sure he's okay.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

Sebastian hears shuffling footsteps in the hallway outside his room and a soft knock at his door. He glances at the clock which now reads 3:45 a.m. He wonders if someone in another room heard him moaning and has come to investigate. He laughs when he stands off his bed, thinking of the cum drying on his skin in his pants, and walks quietly to the door, opening it a crack to see who's outside.

His smile is sucked off his face entirely when he sees Kurt, leaning against his outside door frame with an odd twist of a smile on his face, holding his phone up in Sebastian's line of sight.

"Why did you think I was texting Blaine?"