Chapter 16
Kissing gays
(Santana)
Puck's mohawk.
Well, his ex-mohawk. And his ex rep. He looks like a hedgehog run over by a lawnmover. Nothing to point at the people around him. Useless. All his edge, all his pointy spikes have gone. And all the animals he's stung before are ready to attack.
We all turn around.
I was baffled. Brittany even leaned in close to me (sending shivers up my back) and whispered:
"Who is that guy?" I stare at him in dibelief. Then I turn to Britt. She's smiling now. Usually it would be hilarious, but I'm too shocked to laugh. I give her small smile.
"What just happened?" I ask.
.
.
"My mum found a mole on my head when she was washing my hair this friday."
"Your mum still washes your hair?" He's kind of good looking - with the mohawk. But now I just can't see why I ever liked it. I'm not at all attracted to him. He was the Puckasaurus, that was the very reason I went after him. But ugh.
"She started crying about sunblock and how she's always telling me to wear a hat when I'm cleaning pools. So she made me go see , the dermatologist. He said he had to shave my head to get a closer look. It was nothing! They maimed me over a frikking freckle!"
He looks away, then back at me. I'm just not into it. At all. I start to wonder if I ever really was. Ugh. But he IS fun to play with, though.
It's nice that he wants to confide in me, but puh-lease. I'm so over that. No spikes, no spice.
"I feel like that guy that lost all his hair and lost all his strength." I scrunch up my face. I thought he only slept through history.
"Samson?"
"Pegase." Ooookay. "This morning people actually had the balls to look me in the eye! I mean, it's just a mohawk, right? I'm still Puckasaurus." I speak up, tired of listening. Or well, pretending to listen while thinking of how over it I am.
And how fun it is to see him squirm.
"Actually, I don't know if it's the missing mohawk or the whining, but I am totally not turned on by you right now." Then I smile a little, enjoying the moment, and leave.
.
.
"I'm just saying, he shouldn't be all upset with me. I NEVER get to sing, so what does he care if I stop? He's never even let me sing solo, so he has no idea how much I can bring it."
Brittany looks at me thoughtfully. Once again I am struck by her cuteness. Oh, help me.
"I'm very dissapointed in you guys!" I mimmick Mr. Schuester's voice. "Please! I'm dissapointed in him. Heck, he gets more time in the spotlight than I do!"
"You should ask for a meeting in the auditorium and sing for all of us."
I shake my head, feeling my cheeks heat. I can't exactly admit that the thought of me singing makes me a bit nervous.
"What? And take up our prescious rehersal time? No way, he'd rather have us all commit zeppukku than let us have a go at it."
"They're a good band," she nods, and I wonder if she thinks I'm talking about mass suicide or like, Led Zeppelin. I let it go though. "But Rachel gets her way all the time."
"Belive me, I know. But at least we're supposed to all sing a song this week. I have no idea. Maybe this time we won't change everything at last minute." I growl, already knowing exactly which song to sing. I've been secretely practicing it until Cruella came over to my side of the house and asked me to kill the cat I was torturing in there. I wanted to smack her so hard she fell out of her Jimmy Choos, but I ignored it and told her to go throw up a little, so she could feel better about herself.
I knew I was good, otherwise she wouldn't bother to come over and critisize me.
I also knew I had something that was different han Rachel. And no, I wasn't thinking of the fact that I actually had a soul.
"Let's go home," Brittany said, offering her pinky to me. I shake my head. The school is empty, except a few teachers, I guess. I smile knowingly at her.
"I'm gonna hang around for a bit." She looks at me. Then nods.
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?" I smile.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow." I watch her walk away, then I turn around and starts to sing-whisper the lyrics I so desperatly want to throw at the other gleeclub members.
.
"There are worse things I could do,
Than go with a boy or two.
Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy,
And no good,
I suppose it could be true,
But there are worse things I could do."
.
I can see the faces of them now. Judging me, or worse, feeling sorry for me. It's my choice, I don't have to do it. Like the song says, there are so much worse things I could do.
Like hurt Britt for example. Or be like Rachel and Quinn - be a tease. Playing around is one thing, but to never actually let the guys have their way - that's what's really horrible. That's what will cause them not to get it up when they actually do have a chance. Immasculating.
.
"I could flirt with all the guys,
Smile at them and bat my eyes.
Press against them when we dance,
Make them think they stand a chance,
Then refuse to see it through.
That's a thing I'd never do."
.
My voice is much louder now. No one's around, and I start to let go. Who'd known singing in the school corridors could be so rewarding? I round the corner, reach the auditorium.
.
"I could stay home every night,
Wait around for Mr. Right.
Take cold showers every day,
And throw my life away,
On a dream that won't come true."
.
At that I think of Britt. She still believes in fairytales. While my favourite always was Beauty and the Beast (which seriously is what I wish life and love could be like, but the love just proves that it's a pure fairytale) hers always used to be Lady and the Tramp. She always thought happy endings would be like that - ending with puppies every time.
I am up on the stage now, realizing I'm feeling the familiar sting of tears coming on. One hand on my stomach, supporting.
.
"I could hurt someone like me,
Out of spite or jealousy.
I dont steal and I dont lie,
But I can feel and I can cry."
My voice almost breaks.
"A fact I'll bet you never knew.
But to cry in front of you,
That's the worse thing I could do."
.
Damn, I would make them all bawl like little babies.
For a second I think I see someone in the corner of my eye. A door closes. I shrug. Fuck them, whoever they were. I take a deep breath, blink the tears away.
.
.
When Kurt starts singing my brain ges empty. WTF?
I sneak a peek at Brittany, hoping to share some laughter with her, but she is not even looking my way. She's staring right at him. I knew they were kind of friends. Well, not really, but they talked.
When he gets the sting from Mr. Schue, she gets up and skips (yeah skips!) after him. I freeze. I know that skipping. Fuck.
I try not to look as they talk to each other, I try to start a conversation with Quinn, but it's impossible. When she finally walks away I catch him checking her out. I get so angry I want to go all Lima Heights on his skinny little gay ass.
What's he doing, going straight all of a sudden? Is this opposite day in freak land or what?
I'm boiling by the time she reaches me, staring him down. He suddenly seems to notice, licks his teeth like he's got a big piece of tobacco in there, and shrugs his shoulder. Then he sees me still staring. I am in full fighting mode, hands on my hips, feet just about ready to take a giant leap and pounce. He suddenly looks like he's wet his pants and quickly looks around. When he looks back at me I stick my chin out. Oh yeah, I am looking at you, little sheep.
He leaves, but I don't break out of my fighting stance.
Not until Britt comes up to me and smiles, like she's not aware of my violent posture.
"Soo, I'm finally gonna get my perfect score," she chimes. I relax enough to not look like I'm ready to kill, but I'm still tense.
"Britt. He's so gay that if you look it up in a dictionary his picture will be there." She shakes her head.
"He's not anymore." I can't believe the words that's coming out of her mouth. She can be awkward, but this is just...
"Britt, he has three different lotions for his hands. He's more feminine than Quinn is with all her baby hormones." She just shrugs.
"He takes good care of himself, that's why he's so soft. Girls like that."
"Kurt's so gay that the girls actually don't mind having him in the locker rooms after practice!"
"Santana, maybe he's just being smart. If I were a guy I would pretend to be gay too, if it meant I got to see all the girls in the cheerios naked."
I'm so upset with her I can't find any words. How come she's being so stubborn? She obviously knows he's gay, she's just trying to get a perfect score. She's aways been so respectful when it comes to him, she knows he wouldn't want to kiss her, and still!
"This is riddicolous! Do it then, and then tell me how it feels to kiss someone who takes a pause to put on some more lipgloss!"
She finally snaps. Brittany never snaps.
"Well, at least someone will be kissing me!" I stop thinking. Ouch. We haven't kissed in... weeks. But that couldn't possible be what she's talking about. No, of course not. I mean, we're not... I realize I'm acting like a jealous ex.
"I..." Uh oh, I always know what to say. "Great!" I say, then I storm out.
.
.
Oh yeah, Brittany. It's on.
If you go after Kurt, let's play that card. If I can't have you, I'm stealing Puck. That'll keep me busy. And it gives me a sing off.
I'm smiling as me and Mercedes start to get closer and closer. Oh, she's pissed off for real. I'm enjoying every minute of it. Bring it on, Wheezy.
I walk away, swinging my ponytail, smiling smuggly, but she grabs me and spins me around. Oh no, she didn't!
I push her hands down.
"He belongs to me,
the boy is mine!"
Mr. Schuester is there to try to play peacemaker. Wake Mercedes up from her rage. But I'm a sneaky bitch, and he does not know how to handle that.
"Wow! That was intense! I gotta give you guys props for the passion." He looks to me. "Maybe hold back on the animalsity a little bit, alright."
"Yeah, I know, I understand." The most classic move in the book.
He seems to accept my agreeable answer and moves away and I pounce, showing her hard.
"Seriously, this ends now!"
"Alright," I say, giving her the stare. Like I just don't give a damn. I could take her on any day. Puck's only using her anyway, and hello! I'm the hottest piece in this school. He should be paying attention to me and not her anyway.
Afterwards it all feels so much better. I can breathe out. Now, there's nothing better to treat any kind of frustration with than a sing off, a cat fight or sex. Hmm.
.
.
Tania comes up to me after school, with what looks like a half eaten chocolate bar in her hand. I don't mention the rules since she's looking like a nervous wreck. She's wearing her leather jacket on top of her uniform, but now it has lost all it's coolness and looks like her fit boyfriend lent it to her because she was cold.
"Talked to Rose yet?" I asked, bored. She looks at me as if I'd asked her to kill someone.
"What do you mean?" I smile at her.
"Oh, so she did talk to you."
"What would you know about it?" She snaps. That makes me laugh.
"Rose talked to us about your fight. Whatever, it's not like I actually care." I'm about to leave, loving to watch her squirm, but she starts talking.
"She said something about... you and Brittany." I turn around, take three fast step and get all up in her grill.
"If you don't shut up right now I'll make you regret to have ever paid for that nose."
"It's my real nose," Tania bites back.
"Well, when I'm done with you, it won't be for long." She steps back, hands in front of her.
"Chill out! I wasn't gonna tell anyone." I calm down, cross my arms over my chest.
"I don't want boys thinking I'd do it for any other reason than to tease them," I hiss at her.
She nods, looking very worried again, biting the skin on the inside of her thumb. I notice that it is red and looks raw already.
"It would be so wrong to want to do it because you like kissing a girl more than the fit boys, right? Totally." She nods to herself. I take a hold of her arm and pull her in to the closest classroom. It's empty except for a lonely skeleton who's missing an arm and has a coke can stuffed in his ribcage.
"Look," I start. "Whatever." Tania looks up at me, mouth wide open.
"I'm sorry?" I shake my head, looking at the blackboard.
"Whatever. I won't tell anyone. I can't get anything out of it, except for Sue kicking you off for giving us a bad rep. She might even like it, actually, considering she's said a few times she hates sneaky gays." Tania laughs for a second, before stopping herself.
"It's not like I actually liked it...!" I look back at her, smiling knowingly.
"If it's somone that close to you, it's so much more than just liking it."
That shuts her up alright. Then, just when I'm about to leave, she speaks up:
"I know. Like it's just been hanging around forever, waiting to break out and infect you. Is it like that with you and Brittany?" I nod.
"I never said anything about Brittany. We're just friends. Unlike you and Rose." Then I wink at her, leaving her alone in the classroom.
.
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A/N: Dunno what to make out of Tania. She needs to be a less fierce Santana.
What do you think about Santana's song? Every single time I see Grease this is all I can think about ;P