AN: So here it is, the next chapter just like I promised. To answer your question "When is there gonna be more Dragozera?" I'd have to say that in this chapter. Definately some Dragozera stuff happening in this chapter :D

Little Lies

All characters belong to Richelle Mead. I just like to play with them.

Chapter 9.

Christian's point of view

I needed to clear my head so I headed to the Sunday sermon at the chapel. I wasn't much for God and all that Holy Spirit jazz, I just liked how the chapel at St. Vladimir's felt. There was a certain serenity that surrounded the old brick building; it looked rather plain and simple from the outside, but as soon as you actually stepped into the foyer you were sucked into warm light and dark wood, gold engravings and beautiful pieces of art. I sat at the very back row not companied by anyone. I wasn't really paying attention to what was being said or done, I just sat there in a trance of sorts. The sermon lasted for about an hour in which time I had firmly made up my mind. I had decided to try; I had decided to go out of my little safe comfort zone. I needed to try to find what I needed. I deserved to be happy, didn't I? And the best way to be happy was to make amends with Lissa. Even though lately thinking of her had made me cringe, I could still remember a brief amount of time when the mere thought of her would bring a smile to my lips.

I wasn't exactly allowed to be in the church attic, no one was allowed without the permission of the pastor and headmistress Kirova, but the pastor kind of let it slide. He let me hang out in the attic, for no obvious reason; maybe he just saw I needed a place of my own and was scoring some points with God by helping me out. I made my way up one rickety step at a time. The stairs were made of wood and were basically just an accident waiting to happen. Still I walked them up with confidence, feeling that strange sensation of serenity spread over me again. When I got to the top, I noticed that the door to the main storage room was open. I could see light streaming down to the stairs, it was odd, because usually the room was pitch dark and I'd have to light a fire to see a thing. I stepped in through the door and made sure not to make a sound. The room itself was as always, apart from a few boxes in strange places. The light I'd seen from the top of the stairs seemed to be coming from a lantern hanging from a hook on the furthest wall. It illuminated the whole room with a warm hue, it was nice but it didn't warm up the place like one of my firemagic induced flames.

"Christian."

I spun around as soon as I hear someone call my name. I was caught by surprise, Lissa was standing in front of me, dressed in a green sweater and slacks, looking rather endearing.

"Oh, hi," was the grand response I came up with.

"What are you doing here?" She asked sounding a little strange to me. Her voice was unusually cold now that it wasn't surprised anymore. I remembered the way I had spoken to her last night and a pang of guilt rang inside of me.

"I…I'm always here. I mean I come here a lot, it's kind of my place," I said, mumbling. Great, I sounded like a total freak, some kind of weird kid that hung around in dusty old attics doing God knows what.

"You have permission from Kirova?" Lissa asked, her face mixed with curiosity and disbelief.

"No, not exactly," I said and saw her look relieved in a way. I felt the need to defend myself. "But the pastor knows I'm here. He just kind of lets it slide."

"Way to incriminate others, buddy." I jerked and turned around to see a tall figure emerge from behind a particularly tall pile of boxes. I narrowed my eyes and noticed it was the guy from yesterday's party. Instantly I felt my blood go cold. Horrible scenarios started running through my head, they took over my heart and soul in about half a second and I was completely consumed. What was Lissa doing up here with him? Not praying, that's for sure.

"I'm not your buddy," was all that escaped my lips as I turned back around to stare at Lissa in complete shock. She seemed to notice my rather horrified face and blushed rapidly. "We're here looking for information," she blurted out, pointing at Adrian. "We're reading up on St. Vladimir."

"Well, it's none of my business anyway," I said, swallowing back all the other words I'd have liked to say.

"It's true, Not My Buddy," Adrian said and handed Lissa a dusty old book that looked exactly same as all of the other dusty old books here. "He's just a fascinating old guy. I bet you could make a soap opera about him and this Anna chick."

I scoffed and Lissa shook her head. Apparently we both agreed that St. Vladimir was not entertainment value at its best.

"Why are you so interested in St. Vladimir? He was a crazy old Moroi with some supposed crazy healing powers," I said and furrowed my eyebrows. "I hope no teacher is assigning him as a subject for an essay."

"No," Lissa whispered, looking a little hurt. "I'm just interested in him and his 'craziness'." She used air quotes which made me feel a bit ignorant.

"Well you might wanna read up on that Anna chick," Adrian stated and made his way towards the door. He gave Lissa a meaningful look. "She reminds me of someone."

"Where are you going?" Lissa asked, clearly surprised and perhaps a bit agitated. "We still have another half of books to go through."

"I need a cigarette and perhaps a good old glass of Jack Daniel's. Besides you have help. He…" Adrian pointed at me and grinned. "…Clearly wants to help you."

"Excuse me!" I exclaimed. Lissa jumped a bit at my sudden raised voice. "I'm sorry," I mumbled to her as Adrian began his decent down the faulty old stairs. I knew I was probably being a petty little boy with major problems, but I secretly wished he would fall right through one of those steps.

"You shouldn't be upset with him," Lissa said and rubbed her arm, she kind of looked like she was trying to warm up. "Adrian is just…like that. He takes a bit to get used to."

"I'm sure he does. He seems like real character," I said, feeling that the way Lissa spoke of him actually made me want to feel kind towards Adrian. I shook my head and let the thought settle in.

Lissa looked down at the pile of books surrounding her. "Well I better get back to work." She sat down and opened a book at random, reading. All though I was pretty sure she was just flipping pages pretending to read, waiting to see what I'd do.

"Um... So since Adrian bailed on you… I- I was just wondering…" I was making a fool out of myself. I could think of a coherent sentence for the life of me. I ran a hand through my hair and messed it up. "Help," I said.

"With what?" Lissa asked, suddenly alert.

"No, I mean, do you need help. With the books."

She looked at me with a puzzled look written all over her face. She seemed to be hesitating and I found myself not blaming her. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and when she opened them she seemed to have reached a decision. "You can start with that one," she tossed a book at my feet. "Thank you for offering to help."

I sat down, legs crossed and picked up the thick book. I opened it up and was surprised to see that it was written in fragile pages filled with calligraphy. The book itself looked like a piece of art to me. "It's no problem."

We read in silence for a while. It was pretty standard stuff, it was all about St. Vladimir's life and great accomplishments. He seemed so unreal to me. I found it hard to believe anything that I was reading. I mean, I knew he was a Moroi and Moroi themselves are magical beings, but he never seemed to specialize in any element and healing people and performing miracles didn't fit into any element I knew of. He seemed more like fairy God mother gone crazy.

I was just about to move on to the next chapter when I looked up and saw Lissa pulling her sweater closer. She shivered a bit and the proceeded to pick up another book. Her eyes had a look of utter determination. She really cared about this St. Vladimir thing, didn't she?

"Are you cold?" I asked. I guess I startled her a bit with my sudden question, because she jerked her head up and dropped her book.

"Uh, yeah. It's a bit chilly up here," she said and picked her book up. I wish I had a jacket to offer her or something. I bit my lip and sighed. I could create a flame to warm us up. It's just that I wasn't exactly supposed to be using elemental magic outside of a class room. And the magic required to create such flame wasn't anything they taught us in school. It was something I had picked up from my aunt Tasha. I thought about it; Lissa wouldn't say anything. I was almost sure of it. I knew I probably shouldn't, but I trusted her in some weird twisted way.

"Look," I said, catching her attention. I placed my hands palms up in the middle of us. I thought about a small; say apple sized flame that was nice and orange, with a bit of yellow. I thought about the warmth that it would cause to illuminate us both in and suddenly I felt it appear above my palm.

I heard Lissa gasp in surprise. I looked up at her face; it was strange, the shadows caused by the lantern and now my flame, danced across her face and platinum locks of hair. Her eyes were wide as she inspected the flame above my palm; they were beautiful green orbs, completely consumed by their curiosity.

"Christian, how did you do that?" she asked me in complete surprise. All the coldness from earlier was gone from her voice.

"I've been practicing," I admitted. "I know that ideally the teachers would have us use our magic for warm and fuzzy classroom exercises, but I want to be able to…handle myself if push comes to shove."

"It doesn't burn you," Lissa stated and leaned in closer to look at the flame. I brought it up to her hand. "Will it burn me?"

"I sure hope not," I said and felt a little smile tug at my lips as she slowly put her hand above the flame and even touched it a bit.

"It doesn't burn. It's just warm…and fuzzy." She cocked her eyebrow and smiled at me.

I laughed a bit and took a deep breath. Now was as good as ever. "Lissa, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh," she said and I saw her reserve appear again.

"First of all I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you last night. You said we couldn't be friends, but there's no reason or excuse for me being rude."

"That's…alright. I understand that I hurt your feelings."

We sat there, warmed by the flame sitting on my palm, and just listened to the sound of each other breathing for a while. I desperately wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say. And to be honest, I was completely content, right here, right now. This moment was so unreal, I knew it would be gone too fast if I opened my stupid mouth.

"Christian," Lissa said with a fragile voice. "I want…"

"What?" I asked, desperate to hear what she wanted. God, right now I'd probably give her anything I had the power to give. I listened with the utmost concentration.

Lissa looked down at her hands and tugged at the sleeve of her sweater. "I want for you to know that this is not my choice."

"What's not your choice?" I asked, but she shook her head and closed her eyes.

"I want you to know, that coming back to this school after Rose and I left, was something I'd dreaded for the longest time. When I'm here, I'm never safe to be myself. I never feel the same anymore…a-after my parents…I just fell into this role you know, and now I can't seem to climb out of this hole I've dug myself into."

"Oh, Lissa," I sighed. "I… I wish I knew what to…"

"No," She said, cutting me off and looked up at me with steel in her eyes. "You don't need to say anything, because you've already done more than most could ever do."

"I don't understand," I admitted, still looking at her mesmerizing eyes.

"When I got paired with you in Slavic art, I didn't know what to expect. I knew what I'd heard of you before I left but I decided to look past the rumors and what I found was something so refreshing I couldn't even believe my luck at first. You…You're so different, you do what I don't expect you to do and it infuriates me that I can't seem to figure you out. And sooner than later I noticed that the highlight of my day was seeing you."

I couldn't help but smile. She had felt exactly like I did. I felt my smile grow wider as I thought about how I'd decided to be happy and it seemed to be paying off.

"But it can't be that way," Lissa said and killed my smile then and there. I fixed my face into a sulk and pressed my lips into a tight smile.

"Why?" I asked, challenging her to be honest with me.

"Because…" Lissa trailed off and looked down at my palms where the flame had turned an ugly blue.

"You can't even come up with a good reason," I whispered and looked away from her.

"Christian, it's not that I don't want to be friends with you, I really, really do. I feel for you something that I haven't felt in a long time, maybe never before, but I can't be with you."

"I don't understand you. You seem so different, you seem like you don't care about my past or my…parent's past, but you still treat me like everyone else. How do you do that? How can you just let me think you're different and then take it away?"

"But I am different Christian!" Lissa exclaimed and crossed her arms. She didn't seem to do it in an act of defense, but instead she looked like she was trying to convince herself.

"Then prove it to me," I said and reached out to her hands and put out the flame, I pulled her hands to mine and held them lightly. She didn't pull back, which I took as a good sign. "Just…Give me one good reason why we couldn't be friends."

"Because…of what others would say and think," Lissa said in a hushed tone. She moved her thumb over my knuckles.

"I said, give me a good reason. Not just any reason." I shook my head, but didn't pull my hands away from hers. To be honest I was enjoying the way she brushed her thumb lightly across my cold skin, it didn't seem forced, just right.

"I want to tell you," she whispered. "But I'm scared that…well I'm not sure what I'm scared off."

"You don't need to be afraid of telling me anything," I whispered and waited for her to hopefully believe me.

Lissa looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes; she looked like she was holding back tears of some sort. "You need to understand that I'm just trying to protect myself," she said with a crack in her voice. "I'm trying so hard, but then you come along and just wreck my sense of self preservation. It's not fair you know…I keep thinking if we'd just met before all this happened…" She looked down at me and I saw her beautiful green eyes brimming with tears.

"But we did," I said.

"What?" She asked me in confusion.

"We did meet before all this happened; we've been in the same school since forever," I said, knowing I was being a bit cruel, but it was the truth after all.

Lissa sniffed and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I know, back then…I was not a very good person. I'd never have given you the benefit of doubt before. I guess now I understand what losing…everything can do to a person."

I looked up at her frame; she had gone from cold and determined to small and delicate in a span of few minutes talking to me. Way to go Christian.

"It's okay," I said, never thinking I could say that to anyone else but her. "I don't blame you for enjoying your life, having it as easy as possible. Believe me, if I could be that person I would. But life has things happen to us that make us who we are. They shape us and force us to grow and sometimes the way they shape us is smooth, but sometimes it leaves us jagged and with sharp edges. That's the way we grow and become who we are. In a way I envy those who don't have to go through any pain in their lives, but in a way I feel sorry for them, because I feel like maybe they don't know how to appreciate the happy moments in life as much as I do…As much as we do."

"Nothing is okay, Christian. Nothing is okay," Lissa said and looked away from me. She wiped her eyes again and looked down. There were strange noises coming from her chest and I recognized them as dulled down sobs.

"Lissa," I whispered and moved closer to her. I brought my fingertips under her chin and lifted her face up to look at me. "Please don't cry. Everything is alright."

She shook her head. "If you only knew." She leaned into me and I froze. I let her lean against my shoulder and we sat there for a good five minutes with her crying and me just sitting there before I placed my hand on her back and hugged her tight to my chest. "Don't worry about anything Lissa, we'll figure it out. Whatever it is, I promise I'll help you figure it out."

AN: Ok guys, what do you think? Tell me everything and anything that comes to your mind that somehow has something to do with this chapter, because reviews are like looking into Christian's icy blue eyes...Wonderful!

Love Always, Alexandra!