Guest (1): yeah it will, I've actually been working to add some more pieces to the story as its progressing. He might you never know. 😉 things will get discussed that's for sure.
SerenityMorrison: damon does have some of his own story line going but more in how things will be unfolding around him. It's the characters development and how he finds out he's losing that control he thought he had indefinitely. He will be getting a huge hit soon. 😊
TropicalRemix: good hopefully its not to similar. Lol I wanted to make a great combination.
SerenityxEndymion: awesome! Lol lets see; soon, soon, all in good time, wait for it. Lol yeah Damon needs to get a life of his own he just is more pissed that things are getting to be out of his control now.
OrientalDanceGirl: Rei may love the man but I do believe she would be of assistance to Usagi on this one only cause it gives her more presumed time with him than her. yes there will be smut, its rated M for a reason and not JUST for the violence. I've been debating on the mamoru beating damon thing…I've got to work that out to make it work. 😊
5 reviews nice. Lets see what you guys think about this one. It'll have some more developmental flow for you all and give a bit more reasoning for certain things. Read and review!
A vampire's forbidden love ch.9
Mamoru POV
I had been analyzing my feelings regarding my vampire body guard who currently was on the line with both Damon and the elder himself. She was less trusting of Damon's word on things and would only talk directly to the elder on these matters. Even though Damon joined him on the calls. She had been pacing back and forth for 30 minutes now. Between my bedroom and the bathroom she walked back and forth between.
I could barely make out the context of the conversation past the first five minutes. It sounded like an update till Damon jumped on and began to make ridiculous demands that had her taking it off of speaker in frustration. You had to give it to the vampire for one thing, he knew how to get under her skin but in all the wrong ways. It had become more clear that she merely tolerated his presence and held respect only due to his father. Thus making me a tinge happier that there were no feelings at all other than perhaps disgust regarding their sex life.
Usagi clearly didn't care for him and clearly held a resentment towards him that she dealt with daily. Until lately. She seemed less tightly wound and more relaxed now that she had been spending time away from him. At first I thought it was just him but even when only she and Rei were around one another there was still a hint of tension. Though maybe it was merely the conversation they held. I wasn't sure but was I was sure on was her.
The only time when she seemed to be a tinge more relaxed was when she talked to the elder himself. And even though it was for the war I could still see a hint of fatherly respect she held for him. She would never let it become full on trust with him in that manner due to her own father and what happened to her family but the elder had a fatherly tone to him that made you want to listen and respect his word.
I had a feeling he even cared more for her as a child rather than Damon but that was a huge speculation that I couldn't backup with anything other than a few meetings and hearing partial conversations. I took note of her in dark jeans and three quarter length black shirt. A black tank residing under it as she was prone to always wear a tank top. Her black leather jacket was slung over my couch that I hadn't had the time to replace.
She had slung the jacket off as she was on the phone the moment she enter in through the apartment door, not even bothering to relieve Rei off her stay here. Only thing else that was still on were her motorcycle boots. The ones that she wore with her cat suit. Rei grunted in minor agitation but didn't voice out more since she was on the phone with an elder forcing Rei to accept her position to stay till she was given the go ahead to go.
For Usagi while I did miss the allure of the cat suit, to see her more relaxed looking in the jeans and not in a full on leather ensemble was in and of itself very attractive. Especially the way her ass looked in the jeans when she walked around on the phone or in particular when her hip popped out when she stopped to listen intently or think and her rear cocked to the side was in my full peripheral vision.
Yeah I'll be the first to admit she got my jaw to drop and this time it wasn't due to a vampire thing just a regular human thing. Especially when she muted the phone while they spoke, put it back on speaker and put the phone on the sink in the bathroom before taking a step back into the hallway and cracking her back. Giving a small innocent demonstration to the sexiness she had while just cracking her back. I hadn't realized I had even licked my own lips till Rei cleared her throat forcing me from my stupor.
Ah yes Rei…she was a spitfire that Usagi here was good friends with, if you call acting bitchy and whining that she was here good friends. She was only here tonight though as Usagi had to make another trip back to the manor to change out clothes as she needed to rotate those out as we did. Rei 'babysat' me for a few hours while she swapped as Usagi didn't trust Damon around me even for a few hours while she made the change.
To fearful that he would try something if I was there especially since his father was out on business for the weekend. The three way phone call was being conducted with the elder in another portion of the state for business. What business even Usagi didn't ask that. She just wanted to give the update and keep me safe. I couldn't fault her for that. "I don't get her…" I glanced back at Rei, "Nani?" I asked. Completely oblivious to her behind me with the sight I had in front of me.
"That girl has the world's hottest vampire wanting her back in his bed at the estate yet she does everything she can to be here with you instead." there was a touch of confusion with jealousy and respect mixed in there. "Were working on ending a war." I noted to her. trying to keep the attention from my attraction out of the equation. I knew she had a thing for that Damon guy, why I couldn't figure out, so I thought things would be easier for them both.
Hell Usagi honestly wished that Rei's presence there would help her to avoid Damon but he seemed a bit more preoccupied with the war issue which meant more time wishing he was with Usagi and less with Rei and the other mistresses. I had a feeling it was only because of her spending time with me that made him act this way but unless I talked about my own attraction I wouldn't be able to talk about that.
"Keep telling yourself that…" she began, "Question is are you trying to convince yourself or her or both?" I looked back at her now and went to respond defensively when she said, "I'm just saying…I presume you know what happened to the last guy she fell for." I nodded my head yes, Usagi's explanation of him was heartbreaking. She truly had fallen in love and to have it taken from her.
"And yet you still want her…" she looked at Usagi, "I still don't get it." I tried to shift the subject. "Isn't that better for you though? No competition of her wanting to be with him to." I inquired hoping that Damon was getting his fill at least physically with her. "True I never had that competition with her but he has a preference for her. Over all of us." I wondered why on that one especially as she seemed not to thrilled with why.
She huffed, "I was hoping he'd be more favoring of us as he did whenever she was out on mission but apparently he misses his 'blonde bombshell'." She was definitely not pleased as she crossed her arms over her chest, "But as much as I hate to admit it…" She looked at Usagi herself before gaining a respective expression on her face. "She's an incredible fighter, a smart woman and she's favored among the elders as a potential representative when she gets older. I know I'd prefer her over some of the other elders." Rei noted. I looked over at Usagi. Right now she could pass as a business woman that was taking care of work.
"Listen…" Rei started up again. I looked over at her, "I know you have a thing for her, that's obvious…" I blushed a tinge at the response but ignored the slight jab. Rei had a way of agitating people with ease. I understood why she avoided 'babysitting'. "Just whatever you do don't do anything that will get you killed." I went to speak but she stopped me. "Damon is serious. If he wants you dead, unless you're another vampire, he'll kill you."
I couldn't help but frown at the mention of him. I really did hate this Damon jackass. He was clearly a selfish prick but due to his heritage he was in line to becoming an elder after his own elder father. He had been in on more meetings than she had with the counsel but had shown more interest in other matters in his youth if you could call it that rather than the politics. At least from what Usagi has told me.
I heard Rei's small suggestion though. Becoming a vampire isn't something I had ever thought about or seriously contemplated. Hell up until a month ago vampires and lycan's were nothing more than myth that got turned into pop culture phenomenon to the point of hundreds of movies and tv over the years but it was all acting. Nothing was real. Things were modified and taken from the real thing and made livable or just entertaining.
So the act of becoming a vampire didn't ever cross my mind till Usagi came along. She was all I thought about, besides their war and how I could help end it these days. She was an incredible woman. Granted she stunned me with her first impression on many levels but I trusted her implicitly. I shouldn't trust her so damned much yet my gut and heart told me to, just like it did with the Lycan bites and scratches bit at the hospital.
I was right then so I knew I was right to trust her now…and going forward. Besides she was a strong fighter and I had decided recently that there had to be a way for us to be together without Damon doing anything to either of us. I didn't want her to suffer just because of our mutual attraction. "I just don't want to see her heart broken again." I noticed the expression Rei wore on her face. Like it was painful to recall even for her.
"That scientist she fell for was murdered in front of her and she had to sleep with the man that killed him whenever he wanted for the last near hundred years." I wondered why it affected her though. Usagi I can see why but Rei... "So why do you look like you lost something?" I asked her. The burning anger flared to life in her eyes, "Cause…in a way to get the rest of his mistresses in line and never repeat her indiscretion he refused to sleep with us for a decade and only went to her room." I shut my eyes.
Unbelievable… "He wanted you to hate her?" I asked. She shook her head. As if she were right back there during that time. "She did everything she could to keep it a secret. Somehow though he found out, I think one of the other mistresses found out and thought they would gain something from it by telling him…" she chuckled at it like it was a ridiculous thought. "A ridiculous notion cause when he found out…" Rei looked out the window, not wanting to look at me right then.
"He wanted us to hate her. To fault her for their lack of time with him and to be afraid to fall for someone other than him themselves." I was stunned. This guy has several mistresses but kami – sama forbid just ONE of them falls for someone else and doesn't want to be with him. What a selfish jackass. "As for why I'm so upset…" she looked to Usagi still talking on the phone with sorrow in her eyes.
She shut them tight for but a moment before stating, "I do love Damon…very deeply. Have since before Usagi came around and have loved him since then. I love him despite the other mistresses and his preference for her." I was stunned. Rei hated Usagi as much as she respected her, "Usagi told me from the start she didn't want him. She hates him and tolerates him. I accepted that as a way for us to talk civilly over the years." That didn't completely explain why she was upset about it though.
"I'm upset because no matter how willing I am to be with him he chooses to be with her more than any of us. Her nightmare is our dream. She hated to be with the man that murdered her love and had to continue to willingly sleep with him." I looked at her with shocked eyes. How could he do that? I think part of her hated Damon for his actions but her own love for him kept her from despising him for forever. "Damon wouldn't let her leave the estate for that decade." She looked to me.
"Meaning?" I inquired, "He made it so that he left an imprint on her for that whole decade." I still wasn't understanding. "An imprint?" I was trying to figure it out. She angrily wiped a tear away, "Usagi never liked her time with him. Never wanted to have to sleep with him but that decade was the worst for her." she looked back through the window, "He wouldn't let her leave the estate. She was forced to stay inside and answer to his ever whim. When she wasn't answering to that she was training…harder than ever before."
Now she gave a mirthless chuckle. "Usagi that year because she was stuck inside on the estate became the best fighter we have. Only time she left the training grounds was when she needed to eat, sleep and when ordered to fuck Damon." I cringed at that a bit, "For that decade Usagi became a prisoner. It didn't stop till the end of the decade when Damon's father came in and for a month witnessed it. He put an end to it and for the first time EVER Usagi actually gave a willing hug to the man." I arched a brow at this.
"She was so damned grateful to have the endless escapades stop that she hugged an elder. No one did that…and the shocking part was he hugged her back. Damon was ordered to stop being such a prick baby about things and told Usagi that when his father leaves if she ever even thinks of leaving him for another that she better pray that his father shows mercy on her 'love' before he gets to him." I was astonished. The vampire was truly a selfish creature.
"With that being said he figured she learned her lesson and let it go but regardless of it the memory of what happened and her punishment afterwards made her not seek out love ever again…made her avoid it actually…" she muttered then sighed, "At least…" she looked over at me as if in wonderment, "Until you showed up that morning in the abandon building." I was understanding now more and more.
"That event sparked something that only you two have the power to control and extinguish…if you so choose to do so. This turned her life upside down and gave her a reason to fall in love again…" her look was that of hope and sadness. "I know you care for her in the same manner that she does for you." She barely acknowledged me on that one. "Which is why I need to tell you this to." She sighed as if she didn't want to have to.
"I honestly hope that the same fate doesn't befall you either. You seem like a decent good guy who's really just trying to do the right thing." She held a small genuine smile, "But you should know the truth of it all. Damon won't allow another lover to come between him or any of his mistresses." That much I could tell from the way he spoke and what Usagi had told me about him so far.
"Usagi hadn't even been able to make love to the man. She loved him before anything physical happened to warrant any real 'betrayal' from Damon. But he had to show that he was to be the only love in her bed and even if it was only the heart he didn't care. He wanted it all and knowing he'd never get her heart he instead made sure she couldn't give it to another for long and executed the man." That was…
"Can you imagine not being able to mourn for over a decade?" I looked back to her as I wondered on that one myself. If I couldn't mourn a loved one I'd have to be that incredibly busy and even then, I'd burn out from the depression alone. "How does one mourn when their loves killer is having sex with you for the next decade out of spite and proof of what he can do." she explained further.
"So she never mourned him?" I asked, "No she did…" almost in a soothing manner to me, "A decade later." I was a little stunned on that one but I was beginning to see that there was nothing more I could be stunned or shocked on. The things she's had to endure over the years…it's a wonder she's not more cold or standoffish the way Rei is. "She hated Damon from that point forward. Any attraction she held for him was demolished when he took her love from her. I think its why she fears for you so greatly." My eyes widened.
The implication of Usagi's loving feelings towards me were definitely implied. "She tolerates his whims and wishes as much as she can but reality is she hates to deal with him. Plus she's gaining popular favor in the coven and he's unaware of it. Her to a degree to. She just finds herself helping everyone so they all feel a sense of kinship and favor towards her." It made sense especially if Damon is an ass to everyone…like a personality trait.
"She's got my hate for being more favored than I am for him but I would definitely fight on her side as at the end of the day as much as I love that prick and want him as mine for as many lifetimes as I can get him for he could choose to only sleep with me for eternity but he doesn't and while I accept that as what he wants, it doesn't mean I like it or want it." It was clear that she loved him but definitely didn't love his choices. I suspected that if Usagi and Damon were actually happy together Rei would hate her regardless.
That shocked me though. Rei would fight on Usagi's side if it came to that. "You two could be meant to be, two souls connecting together and Damon will rip it all away for his own petty jealousies and selfishness. Honestly her being with you isn't just beneficial for us but for both of you as well. I mean have you ever met someone like her before? Have you ever felt this way before about someone?" I tried to think on that one.
"My guess is no because if so you wouldn't have been single when you both met. You wouldn't have been so engrossed in your work that you caught this cycle that was going on. You'd have been with a girlfriend happy in here but you weren't." damn she had me. "I just also know Damon and how he is – and yes this is the same man that I love despite everything go figure and don't ask!" Rei ended the conversation when Usagi entered the room, "Well its settled, their setting up guards around the Lycan's residence." Rei nodded.
"Can I go now?" she asked. Usagi nodded as Rei left the apartment. I looked back up at Usagi who was on the phone. "So what was all said?" I asked, knowing there were more details. Rei didn't care to know but I did. "Damon's father and he are arguing…the same one for the last week." That was the extra. I stood up from the couch I had been sitting on and asked, "That one with me leaving to live on the estate?"
She put her phone away, "Damon wants you gone for good once this is over with, the man is literally describing to me how he'd like to end you before his father interrupted and stated he wants you appropriate protected with more now since you've become such a help to us. They've noticed a huge decrease in the lycan activity but they are still moving further with an attack. We might even have to take the war to them instead of waiting." She explained.
Even I pondered that notion, "But we need more information on their bosses so I proposed that I go ahead and bring the lycan in for interrogation, quietly." Her idea would sounding good, "It and his father wants you to be protected at the estate. I stated that unless you were situated close to me or…in my room…" that perked my ears and I couldn't help the rise of excitement at that notion, "It wouldn't be a good idea. I don't trust Damon to keep you safe anymore." That made me wonder how close he was to snapping and going after me.
She looked worried, "I'm honestly trying to figure out what to do…" she was beginning to pace around my apartment, nerves frayed and on edge yet also mentally tired to. "On one hand, the safest place from the Lycan's is the estate but Damon…" she looked to me. Her feelings having become more evident these days as mine were as well only this time I decided to do something about it.
I had been deliberating on this for weeks now and Rei's words before she bailed only confirmed it. I know she was trying to steer me away but it only strengthened my resolve to not just be here in this fight as I was beginning to feel overwhelmed which let's face it is normal. But I wanted to be a part of this more so now and I wanted to be with her. it wasn't just because she saved me or because she was attractive, it was because of who she was. Her own struggles in life and the fact that she obviously felt the same way.
No matter what I thought or how I looked at it everything came out the same. I wanted her. Not just wanted her but I liked her and had stronger feelings than that towards her. I even knew the guy she had last slept with. I knew she could turn me now and that prospect didn't scare me off. I knew that she felt the same way for me as I did towards her and I finally decided to say screw it I wanted this and I wanted to be with her.
I didn't care that she was one of Damon's consorts. Fine I've had my own hand of sexual partners over the years. She didn't even want to be with him, not at all during her decades with him. Fine hers with Damon had been going on for hundreds of years and he probably had been bedding her recently just before she met me. I didn't care. Nor did I care that he had a huge hate on me for gaining her attention. We spent so much time together these past few weeks I felt like I was falling for her and her me.
So when she got out her papers on who was and wasn't a lycan at the hospital I was stunned yet not stunned. She was trying so hard to keep it business yet if that were truly the case she'd be in her cat suit 24/7. She felt relaxed enough around me and that spoke volumes to me. I decided to give her some time after the call to vent about the Lycan problem. Telling me who was and wasn't a Lycan.
I wasn't shocked at the head of staff for that section but was shocked that the security for the grave yard shift was one but it makes sense now. Though I never really took the time to notice his mannerisms did seem off compared to others, I just never thought about it…till now. I was watching her go through possible leads as if it were all at once and she needed to go over it. I was leaning towards making some hot tea to help calm her down. She needed a break and hot tea worked well with relaxing.
"We have guards posted here and here so when she goes to her Lycan boss, whatever the hell his real name is…" so far all Usagi had heard him referred to as had been 'boss man', 'dick', 'ass' and my personal favorite 'cock sucker'. Apparently neither the nurse herself didn't like him as well as the other female she spoke to on the phone. "Could always go with 'cock sucker'." I chuckled a bit with mirth.
It rose a chuckle from her to I didn't see her laugh that often so this was a bit of a rare treat for me, "Yeah…the elders need a real name though. I don't think saying the name 'cock sucker' during a counsel meeting would work well. Though I do prefer your suggestion." "I'm going to go make some tea up." I tell her as I leave her side to the kitchen to make up the black tea. She still going through her files as I boil the water needed and got the coffee mugs out.
"Since we've been stopping the victims from piling up as fuel for their war it'll speed up their time line on what they want to do. I'm sure that 'cock sucker'…" she grinned at me, "Is getting antsy with how very few of them are coming in now. Possibly even growing suspicious of the lacking in new Lycan's." she muttered out loud. She was trying to figure out how to get more information without compromising herself. If she did she would for sure have to have me at the estate but that would be closer to Damon to.
Damon's already made himself clear to me. The moment he can make an accident happen he will. Honestly I don't think he even cares about how I effect the war for them. His own jealousies are blinding him and only his father is keeping him at bay. Usagi is to busy being with me. "Plus it doesn't help that your still alive and helping us." She smiled on that one, happy as anything. "Me to." I tell her. We had already contacted the doctors at other facilities that had similar problems.
So far only one actually had a problem the rest were checked out as okay by other vampires who scouted them out and received no indication of a Lycan present either as the staff or as a victim so those locations were crossed off. It would seem that unless they had a Lycan already working the location they weren't going to risk having their recruits get sent to a hospital where they have little to no control or influence.
They couldn't really even try to send someone in as the red tape for a transfer would take more time than they had or so we assumed. I had personally been in contact with the one with the problem. She had been very helpful to me despite the lack of information given but Ami had become very helpful regarding the 'animal attacks' as they were dubbed over there. There had been several visits Rei made over to the area. Mostly to try and get information as Usagi had that one day but they were all beyond drugged up.
I knew what Usagi had to do that day but I also knew that she hated to do it and if she could avoid it she did. Ergo Rei's involvement. In fact it got the point where Rei was over at the hospital with Ami as a 'temporary nurse' on hand to help with the increase in 'animal attacks'. I knew Usagi preferred to not have to but even I understood why. There had been several victims to take care of.
It got to the point where Rei was doing her own investigative work to find the Lycan responsible with Ami's help, though as far as Ami knew it was a whole different scenario. Damon had no choice but to pull the right red tape through for Rei to be on staff over there to see who all was a Lycan and it was less than over here which was good as it aided us exponentially but it also brought in more people that Usagi was trying to avoid doing. She didn't want anyone to get hurt that didn't deserve it.
Usagi POV
I was trying so hard to concentrate on the problem at hand yet my mind kept going to him and what part of me really wanted to do and it wasn't Lycan related. There had been a hint of something in the air and until I got a small snippet of the conversation he had with Rei I couldn't figure it out. He was slightly aroused by me and I couldn't help but sashay my hips a little bit extra to see if the scent was more pungent and it was.
The last thing I should be thinking about now is any form of sex with Mamoru. The risks were high and Rei would figure it out somehow I knew it. Though I had a strong sense I didn't have to worry about her knowing. Rei if anything would be keen on keeping as much of Damon to herself as possible. I just wish he would relent on it and go be with her or one of the many other mistresses he has. Sometimes it sucks being the only blonde.
So when Mamoru brought me over from the kitchen some steaming black tea, one that was strong yet had that sweet kick to it. I hummed in delight at the steaming mug. I took a sip before sitting back on the couch and hoped that it would help to calm down not just my nerves from this whole ordeal but my hormones to. I didn't understand out of all the guys I had come across in my lifetime why Mamoru seemed different.
Why he seemed so perfect, yet imperfect at the same time. If I weren't a vampire I could see a strong relationship forming but with me being a vampire was that really possible or was it merely a pipe dream that I recently started to have. My hormones were acting up again and I was trying not to act like a cat in heat right now as things felt like they were definitely shifting tonight. I couldn't explain it only that I knew something would change and something told me it was a good thing.
I just didn't know what IT was. He and I had become friends during this drama and now that we had been, with the exception of the one kiss we shared, had been successfully ignoring the attraction. It was hard but the thought of Damon attempting to kill him was a pretty good 'cock blocker' if I had to put a label on it. Though I had a strong feeling that it would be coming out sooner rather than later and I didn't know that I could stop it…or wanted to.
That would be my most difficult part yet. Something I had a feeling I would be failing at miserably. I was growing a bad habit of biting the inside of my lip to try and give myself a distraction from my body acting of its own accord again. This wasn't just simple attraction this was something more and my being knew it. Plus it didn't help that he felt the same way making it more difficult. So I turned to focusing on the war instead.
Part of my phone conversation with both Damon and his father included me staying here for much longer than a few weeks. Being that my time parted between the estate and the apartment here was becoming time consuming and pulling me away from possible leads to follow in time. I agreed with the assessment which is why I suggested to stay here for longer. Damon's father agreed with it as we were gaining more progress with the war with me here rather than going back and forth so frequently.
However Damon saw that differently. He venomously refused to allow that to happen. It was something that I could tell had his own father looking at him funny, not that I could see him but I knew that tone in his voice. Damon's reasoning was that I was needed at the estate over all whereas his father stated that while he had a point I was needed at the estate I was needed more so to watch over Mamoru and help to end this war so that it wouldn't become a crisis going forward. Unless he wanted Mamoru to live at the estate.
I had to admit Damon's silence on the line was between comical and smirk worthy. On one hand I would have loved to have seen his face on that one but on the other hand I didn't trust Damon around Mamoru. So it was now in debate to bring Mamoru in and if so I wanted to ensure that he would be placed with me or near me but that wouldn't come to pass without Damon's approval as he wanted me ready, willing and able and not busy if I was at the estate.
And that was something I didn't want to have to deal with. Damon and his never ending need to bed me even when the timing is bad gets ridiculous. Hell his need to have a weekend excursion with Rei a few decades ago is why I went to one of the meetings. When his father found out he was highly disappointed. Whether it was boring nor not you had to attend a meeting with the counsel. It was I poor taste and judgement not to go.
Plus in all honesty it just made him look bad not to go. So when it came to Mamoru in the estate I wanted to do as much as I could to avoid Damon bedding me. I would feel like I was cheating on Mamoru if I did in fact sleep with him or anything else that was requested upon me. I'd have to talk with Damon's father on that matter. That until this is resolved that Damon will have to go to his other mistresses and leave me be.
I just also had to ensure that he was free from any 'accidents'. I had thought to at one point put something in him that would make Damon want to stay away but anything I give him would be useless as Damon was a much older vampire. He could sniff anything out and even tolerate most repellants. Trust me I had tried them myself a few times over the years. Perhaps a lone talk with his father would be needed. For right now it was me staying out here for, and I quote Damon's father 'possibly until the end of the war'.
The prospect shouldn't have made me giddy or excited to be near him for longer but it did and that right there was something I knew Damon would want to snuff out before it evolved into anything further, so I made sure none of my excitement would come through my voice or the tone of it. I had to remain as unaffected as possible to avoid him becoming more suspicious than he already was. So as I sipped on my tea as I felt my nerves calm down a little bit. This war was coming to a head and I was honestly a little curious as to how it would all play out.
I had a feeling we'd have to take the war to them but for right now we were in this lull and that's the part that got my nerves the most riled up. Not having anything to do made me anxious. I felt like I needed to either kill something, solve something or just something to take away this nervous energy. It's not like I could fix this war in a few easy steps. This was going to take planning and a lot more than a few combat tricks to fix it.
That being said had the need to do something about it but we were stuck in this standstill waiting for more information. It's also why we had reacted out to the other hospitals. The more intelligence we had on the enemy's intentions the better for every innocent that could be saved and that was a plus in my book. So right now my nerves were only calmed down by the tea and Mamoru sitting next to me.
That however also brought another conflict about, via my feelings and desires towards him. I had been ignoring them all since our first and only kiss, trying in vain to put everything else first. I told myself to not get to close, to not let him in that deeply yet it flew from me to him like a waterfall of information. We had become fast friends and the attraction was like this heavy under current that was going to explode at some point soon. It wasn't a matter of if it would rather than when it would.
I honestly had tried my hardest to ignore it all. Threw all of my focus into the war ahead and on his safety from not just the Lycan's but from Damon. Yes it seemed the attraction demanded attention and felt that ignorance wasn't blissful but rather a mute-point. I couldn't stop myself from falling when I knew the risks. It definitely didn't stop me from wanting him on every level possible and it definitely didn't stop me from noticing that he felt the same.
I had begun to feel the need to have Rei over more just to help as my own 'wing woman' so to speak but that was like literally pulling teeth form a hostile vampire. It wasn't going to happen unless Damon ordered it and she wasn't busy. I usually had information to pour over to distract me but we had gone over it all already. I thought the tea might help to at least take the edge off and stop me from acting on them, but those feelings and hormones weren't even close to calming down even with the tea.
I had a feeling only one thing would and I couldn't do that…could I? I had to hold onto those urges and I had a feeling that if I didn't leave here soon I wouldn't be able to help what happened next. Thoughts of leaving soon evaporated as I glanced over at Mamoru sipping his own tea next to me. I soon realized how bad of an idea it was to admire his form and analyze things as the urge to stay became so strong I lost the will to leave.
I couldn't help but take a moment to take him in. These past few weeks had been full of us getting to know one another as people and as human to vampire. We were so alike yet so different that it felt like this wonderful odd balance. Of course the war was discussed as well but it wasn't the Lycan's 24/7 it was everything. It was like, to use his example, like working on a final class project together.
Things get discussed and they happen. I choose to ignore it all but in the end everything you tried to ignore comes rushing back at you. Like it was meant to be…and before I let myself think further on it I saw that he noticed my perusal of his form. I looked away and asked stupidly, "How's your tea?" I rolled my eyes at the stupidity of my own question. He knew how good his tea was and I still asked that. "Good. Yours?" he asked, "Its calming my tense nerves so very good." I noted glad he let that go.
He could have made a comment to embarrass me but he didn't. For that I was relieved by. I know plenty of people that would have capitalized on it and he didn't. Mamoru was really making me feel not only at home but accepted. Wanted. Lo…my eyes widened considerably on that near thought. I didn't have to even let that sentence finish to know what it was. I looked over at him and found him now to be admiring me. He looked away upon notice but it seemed we'd both been caught.
He really had become a good friend and more over the past month now. Not just in helping out with our war but in just being there as a friend. He didn't have to listen to me regarding my family. He didn't have to spill his own guts on his. That had to be something incredibly deep to share and he did it same as me. Part of me wanted so badly to act on these feelings I had for him but I wasn't sure it was a good idea. Even Rei warned me not to do something that would get him killed.
I had to remember that even as his arm draped over the back of the couch before landing loosely around my shoulder. My heart started to beat faster and I could feel those tiny strings of arousal reaching out and making me wet my suddenly dry lips. My nipples were beginning to rub against the fabric of my lacy bra, in a teasing manner than left me clutching at my own self-control with a frantic need to get out before I did something that could get him placed in far graver danger than before.
I hadn't even realized how close we were till he did that. I looked over at him as he pulled my tea from my hands and put both of our muds down on the coffee table. He must have noticed that I hadn't taken a sip for a few moments. Not that I could help it, I had just realized how this moment could go and have a fucking revelation of my own. "Usagi…" I had to stop this before I was too far gone in my own wants to save his life. Damon would kill him if he found out and I couldn't take that risk, not when Mamoru's life depended on it.
It tore at me inside to do this but I had to. If I didn't I would lose that fragile control I had over myself and give in to temptation. I felt like I was shaking with the will power to struggle and hold onto that control as it was ready to slip from me at a moments notice. If I didn't leave and go now I literally felt like I would jump him and not leave here ever. Bracing myself for the pain of having to reject him I shifted over to speak with him.