Chapter 24 Brittany
Blame it on the alcohol
A/N: HAS IT BEEN A YEAR SINCE I UMPDATED!? SERIOUSLY? I get it if there are a lot of readers who stopped reading, hehe.
It's just been a lot, I guess. New fandoms, not enough Brittana fluff to inspire... I wrote this a long time ago, and never published it.
How I think that party should have happened. I promise I'll try to update some more!
We'd talked a little, she'd only told me about getting wasted on Christmas Eve. I think she told me just so I could feel bad about it, since mom told me about her showing up. I should've done something. I should've... pushed her. But Santana is like a panther; if pushed into a corner she'll attack you, slicing at you with her claws. She acts on instinct, never really stopping to take a moment to think the situation through. I did drop a lot of hints, how we'd do this and that for Christmas, so she'd understand that I wanted her to come... But she'd not mentioned it and I was forced to drop it. I'd told her all about Mittens though. How happy we'd all been. That she'd looked like she'd been to fat camp. Lord Tubbington had come in a few hours later with us all fussing, even Bailey, over how we called the new owners and they came over the next day.
Now I was standing there, feeling slightly empty, waiting for her to finish up bossing the other girls around.
I'd been able to avoid the pain of seeing her by making sure Artie and I had plans. But I knew I had to face it sooner or later. Trying to live without her was like living in a world where everyone spoke Spanish. My hummingbirds never sung. And no matter how hard I found breathing to be when she was up close, it was almost impossible to do it without her. Like I was afraid to forget such an important part to living if she wasn't around with her delicious scent to remind me to breathe her in.
I was clutching her Christmas present behind my back, worried I might rip the wrapping but unable to release the lock I had on it. Then she came, after the last three girls. They looked like she'd threaten to kick them off the roof. I blushed slightly with pride that she could make people look like that.
"Santana." Her attention was pulled from her bag to my face. She stopped, looked worried for a moment, but then her eyes smiled and I knew it couldn't be that bad.
"Hi Brittany." The way she said my name made my heart ache. It had been a while. It's weird how long two people can talk, for days, without calling each other by name... I pulled out the present.
"It's time for us to do this, I think..." At first I was worried, maybe she hadn't brought the present or even worse, she'd been so angry with me she'd decided not to buy me one. But she just sighed, smiling a little, and pulled one (huge) out of her bag as well.
"Alright, but let's go somewhere." She walked over to me, bumping my shoulder with hers, before walking over to the school grounds further away, to a bench that was under a tree. I pulled my hat down further over my ears and followed.
Sitting down, not too close, we swapped presents. I opened mine first. When I peeled the last of the paper off (I open them quickly) I saw a miniature Santa Clause costume and a...
"OMG, you got me a fondue pot!?" I threw my arms around her so quickly the package almost fell out of my lap. Santana squirmed a little when I let her go, blushing (but that could've been the cold, she wasn't wearing a hat) and pulled her fingers (she had fingerless gloves on) through her hair, looking at me sideways.
"Well, you did say there's nothing better than melted cheese and chocolate... And the Christmas costume is for a small child, but I thought it might fit Lord Tubbington just fine..." I clapped my hands, agreeing happily and nodded my head so much that my hat almost fell off. She laughed, pulling it back over my ears. I stopped moving for her, and I swear her fingers lingered on my cheeks a second longer than necessary. Unfortunately I didn't feel a bit guilty for enjoying it, which I knew I should've.
"... I wish you'd been there at Christmas Eve, San." I mumbled, knowing she might show me her claws. But I had to take the risk. She looked a little hurt.
"Well, I didn't want to ruin it for Artie. We don't really like each other that much. I would've just made him uncomfortable. And enjoyed it." She smiled a little, shaking her head. "It wouldn't be fair. Let's just say that was my Christmas present for him. And this was kind of to make up for not being there for you." She turned back to me, sadness mingling with her pleased smile.
"Well, as long as you promised to eat cheese with me I'll accept it." I was nothing if not easily bought. Especially when it came to Santana. "Now come on, open yours!" I gave her my expectant gaze. She pretended to sigh. Santana on the other hand is slow when opening presents. I had to use all the strength inside of me not to tear it open for her. First out came the package of cinnamon, almond and chocolate brownies I'd made her with the help of my mum. The kitchen had smelled just like her that afternoon and she popped open the lid and breathed it in, smiling with a childish gleam in her eyes. Then she grabbed a hold of the scarf.
"What the-?" As she pulled and pulled at the mix of raspberry red and ocean blue, the DVD fell onto the cold ground. I bent to pick it up. She stared at the scarf. It was fat and about 2 meters long.
"I made it myself, just like the brownies," I said proudly. She grinned, immediately putting it around her neck. It took about 5 turns.
"This is perfect, Britt. I never go out with enough clothes. I love it." She practically burned me with her smile. Then I realized I was still holding onto the third present. She accepted it and then froze.
"What's this?" I ignored her hesitation.
"It's a movie I've wanted to see for a while. It's supposed to be super funny and there was no one else I wanted to watch it with, so I thought to give it to you."
"'But I'm a cheerleader'..." she read aloud. She shook her head and leaned in to hug me.
"Thank you, Brittany. Really." I hugged her back, buried in her new scarf.
"Well, let's go! We can buy some cheese and then watch it at my place! Mom is still complaining over all the leftovers..." She let go of me and just nodded, still smiling. We collected our stuff and even though none of us offered the other their hand – it just kind of felt like off limits somehow – we walked close enough for our gloves to brush against each other again, again and again.
.
.
"Oh San. Rachel's having a Christmas party of some sort." I hated it so much, couldn't make sense of it.
"Sounds awful." San spurts. "Is anybody going?"
"Let me find out." I smile and speed dial Artie.
"Did you hear?"
"Yes, Mercedes just told me." I can hear her at the other end;
"Tell them that I'll go if they go." Artie scoffs.
"Tell them yourself, I ain't the pony express."
I looked over at Santana and Sam, staring at something Blaine was doing. His golden hair fell into his eyes and when he noticed me looking, he turned to me and smiled with those lady lips of his. I wonder if that's what Santana saw in him. I couldn't bring myself to answer it, so I just grabbed the raspberry vodka and gave it a chug. I wasn't too steady on my feet and I knew I'd had enough, but it would be okay. I was what Santana used to refer to as stripper-drunk. And I wanted to be. It would give me the perfect excuse to do whatever I wanted to whomever I wanted. As long as my boyfriend was just as drunk as me. So I handed him the bottle, and Artie pushed his glasses further up the nose, winked at me and drank.
"It's like lemonade set on fire," he coughed when he put it down. I just giggled and went straight for the Tequila bottle I saw behind Rachel's dad's bottles of scotch. I knocked down one that started spilling out on the floor, but no one but me seemed to notice. Then I stepped onto the little table and waved the tequila above my head.
"Who wants to do Tequila shots?" I zoomed in on Santana next to Sam, and saw her fiery gaze. I was a bit off balance, but I'm pretty sure I saw her eyes travel down my half naked body and back up. My skin was tingling so badly I felt it right through the numbing alcohol. Then she looked away with a devilish smile. I stepped off the table and for a moment, my balance was off. I fell back into Artie's lap, laughing as Rachel raced after Quinn upstairs, who had gone after Puck, who was going to the kitchen for lemons and salt. I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend as I heard them shouting and stomping (probably Rachel and Quinn arguing with Puck and each other) above our heads. Artie pulled away to say:
"Wow, they're loud." I just laughed and caught Santana staring at us behind our back. She had Sam attached to her neck and she was pressed up against a wall, her hands in his hair, but her gaze was on us. I swallowed and looked away, feeling as if Artie had run me over with his wheelchair.
I tried to distract myself by rushing up and unbuttoning my shirt for Artie. He did the whole pimp thing, and honestly, all I remember is me showing off my Burlesque dance moves and trying to keep by breath even. Then suddenly, Rachel's high pitched voice was back. It cut through the music like Lord Tubbington when he's not been given a large enough meal. I saw people doing shots, I saw Sam laughing, Artie wheeled around to join in when Blaine, Sam and Mercedes took Tequila shots out of egg cups. I was frozen to the spot as I watched Santana take Sam's lemon and give it another bite. She closed one eye, and then licked her lips. I jumped down, marched right through there, took a shot with eyes on her, then downed another, before grabbing the bottle and said something I would regret tomorrow.
"Let's do body shots!"
I think three people licked each other before I shoved Kurt giggling off the table and before I had even laid down Santana were there, magnetic. Her eyes were dark and unlike the others, locked right onto mine. I felt the goose bumps on my skin just by knowing her mouth would soon be on me. It was a cheap way of cheating. But it seemed to be the night that anything was allowed. I tried to tell myself it was the alcohol, but when Santana grabbed the salt from Artie I whimpered with anticipation. Luckily enough the music was too loud for anyone to hear, but I think Santana might have sensed it. She smiled at and I got so overrun by alcohol I giggled. She put one of her hands on my thigh as she used the other to sprinkle salt on me. I felt every muscle tense as she accepted the drink from a giggling Quinn and shook my head while Santana's fake-fur vest tickled my ribs. Then I felt the wetness of her breath roll onto my skin before her tongue licked at the salty snow. Where her tongue traced I burned with a chill that made me curl my toes. Then she leaned back to take the shot, chew the lemon and laugh. She met my eyes and laughed so hard, and to others it might've been nothing, but to me, drunk Brittany S. Pierce, it was a challenge. So I took it. The rest of the night was blur of a crying Rachel, a make out with Sam, Santana telling me to stay away from her man and then, in the end, me laying in my boyfriend's lap while Santana stepped onto the stage and mumbling:
"This is for all you people out there who are too scared to..." Then she traced off, forgetting her words. She just pressed play on the karaoke machine. I thought for a second she would puke or cry at the centre of the stage when the melody got on, but instead her raw voice came out and made my ribcage shake like it had a wild animal trapped inside it. Panther, maybe.
"Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection"
Artie distracted me by handing me a beer, but I shook my head and when I looked back up her eyes were on me.
"You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know…"
She took a shaky breath that made the microphone echo and I told Artie I might want that beer after all.
"Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes…"
…
That's when I ran away from Artie's lap to the bathroom. It was locked. In a panic I rushed upstairs, flew to the sink and puked until my eyes and nose were running and my stomach was achingly empty. I put on the water and washed most of it down the drain. A few pieces of ham was still in there, reminding me of the pizza I'd had a few hours earlier. I washed my mouth a few times before turning around. Kurt was there. His hair was a mess and his shirt buttoned the wrong way. He hiccupped sweetly and looked at me all teary eyed. In his hands were three sandwiches.
"Yummy…" I blurted out. He looked at the sandwiches, most like P&J, then back to me.
"I'll give you one if you come with me to take some fresh air."
I just nodded and we went out onto the porch and sat down. I was quite a cold night, even though the snow had melted away quickly. After a few seconds, we were both kind of shivering, but in a good way. I took the sandwich he handed me and bit into it, closing my eyes and thanking the salty sweetness.
"So, that thing with Blaine and Rachel today was… weird." I had to think back to figure out what he was talking about. All that covered my mind was the burning image of Santana's cinnamon eyes. Then I remembered the kiss.
"Yeah… I thought he liked boys." I opened my eyes to look at him. Kurt was gazing at the stars with a faraway look in his eyes.
"Yeah… me too." I took another bite of my sandwich, waiting for him to continue. "I thought I loved him."
I nodded while I chewed.
"I know." I said, slowly. Then, not caring if he understood or not I added; "Me too." He turned to look at me, pink cheeks and eyes that reflected the stars. He understood.
"I know." We merely nodded to each other, before he handed me the other sandwich and putting his head on my shoulder. Then we sat there, me chewing, him sighing, listening to the shadows of the party going on below.
..
"Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..."