Chapter 4

Our setting is Old, Unhappy, Far Off Things. We last left our couple with Laura wondering who takes care of Robbie and James giving her a not so subtle push. Something tells me Laura's protective instincts would take hold.

James waited for Laura to leave the building. Robbie was busy elsewhere and he wanted a moment alone with the good doctor. He nodded to her as she walked towards him, "You all done?"

Laura paused for a moment, it was odd him being without Robbie. Since that night in the hospital she had carefully avoided being alone with James. She was already grumpy and decided to vent some of her frustration on him, "For now, PM is eight o'clock sharp."

James nodded acknowledging what she'd said then paused for a moment before pressing forward, "Is there anything I should know?"

Not sure where he was headed with his questioning, she asked brusquely, "Such as?"

James looked at her somewhat perplexed by her tone, "With himself, when I first mentioned this place he got very uh, beady."

Laura relaxed and sighed, "Well there was a young woman attacked here, nine, ten years ago. A sister of one of the undergrads, uh. Chloe something, Robbie's case."

James looked at her even more confused, "What happened?"

Laura looked down at her shoes, "A couple of days into the investigation his wife got killed."

He stopped walking, stunned, "Oh."

Laura stopped with him and looked up at him, more softly than before, "So keep an eye, eh?"

They looked at one another acknowledging that this was one of those times they might be able to answer the question "Who takes care of him?"

Robbie walked up and grumpily said to James. "Where?"

James motioned to the building and Robbie walked through the door. As he walked towards the body Laura stood and went to him. "Robbie, I wouldn't. It's not pretty."

"Show me." She stepped aside letting him see the body. He looked at the broken body of the woman he had spent the evening with the night before. All of the emotions from the night before came rushing back. He thought about how relaxed he'd been with her. How good it had felt to let go and laugh and reminisce. She had been so alive and familiar and… He scratched his head. "When?"

"Early hours, between 2 and 4. She wouldn't have known much about it, after the first, if that's any comfort."

Robbie looked a few seconds more and then turned away. Once again his mind flashed to the evening before, to the moment she kissed him. The offer had been there, he could have taken her up on it; maybe he should have. Would she still be alive if he'd taken her home? She'd said he shouldn't be alone before she kissed him. But after she'd kissed him, while she was kissing him if he was honest, he had never felt more alone.

Laura watched him before following trying to offer some comfort. Someone needed to take care of Robbie Lewis and for now that would fall to her. She touched his arm. He looked down at her and she could see confusion on his face. "I only saw her last night. We went for a drink."

Laura paused for a moment taken aback. He had been with the dead woman last night. She knew he had known the woman but didn't realize they were in touch, that they were seeing each other. She took a step back to get some distance and tried to think how to ask the question. "You were…"

He shrugged. "Could have been. Who knows?" He looked back towards the body wishing he hadn't seen it. He thought about how Laura had tried to stop him, tried to protect him, "I'm sorry if I was uh…"

She filled in the blank. "Brusque."

He smiled sadly. Leave it to Laura to make excuses for him, "Oh I was thinking more rude."

She smiled and shrugged it off, "You're entitled."

He shook his head. "No, not with you." He stared at her angry at himself for having been unkind to Laura. There were so many things he needed to say to her but he didn't know how. As he looked into her for a brief moment, he thought that she should have been the one he kissed.

Laura walked towards her car and saw James waiting. She looked up to ask how Robbie was doing just as Robbie walked toward them. James nodded at her tilted his head slightly towards Robbie. With a simple head nod that had become their shorthand, she knew that he was leaving Robbie in her hands. James turned away with a final, "See you later."

She smiled at Robbie and decided to make him laugh, or at least cringe, "Hot work eh." He groaned at the bad joke as he fell in step beside her. With a quick look down, she made the overture to make sure he wasn't alone tonight, "Fancy a drink."

Robbie looked at her, grateful that she had suggested something, "Make it dinner and I'm paying. I owe you one."

She shook her head. "No you don't"

He nodded at her as she walks away. "8 o'clock The Turl?"

She looked back at him, smiled sadly and nodded.

Laura sat at a table waiting for Robbie. She looked at her watch and realized that he was fifteen-minutes late. Robbie was never late. She turned to reach into her jacket pocket for her mobile and saw him standing in the window. She smiled and waved at him.

Robbie had been watching her from the street for the past fifteen minutes. He longed to go in and pull her to him. To seek comfort in her arms, to kiss her until he forgot about Alison's kiss. The instant he thought of Alison images of her broken body filled his mind. Those images were followed by memories of Val dying in a hospital bed. Then completely unbidden came a vision of Laura in a grave covered in dirt. He closed his eyes, bracing himself against the building. His heart was racing, all of the air left his lungs.

Laura saw Robbie lean into the building. His face paled as his eyes closed. She grabbed her jacket as she raced for the exit. She was at his side in seconds her arm wrapping around his waist to support him her other hand lifting his head so that she could see his face. Gently she turned him into the side of the building pressing into him to hold him steady.

Her hand went to his wrist counting beats. Softly she stroked his cheek, "Robbie, talk to me, can you hear me?" The strangled sob that escaped him startled her. She wasn't sure if he was in pain, actually one look at the anguish on his face told her he was in pain. She just didn't know if it was physical or mental.

His pulse was elevated but nothing that seemed alarming. She took an educated guest that whatever was wrong was mental, not physical. She released his wrist and slowly wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him away from the wall. As her arms tightened around him she buried her head in his chest trying to give him some sense of physical comfort.

Robbie wasn't aware of what was going on around him. He couldn't draw a breath and felt like his heart was racing out of his chest. He hadn't heard Laura calling to him, he hadn't felt her press him into the wall. The strangled sob he released was unheard by him. All of this happened without his knowledge.

It wasn't until he felt small, strong arms envelop him, a warm body press against him and an unknown but somehow familiar perfume fill his senses that he became aware of his surroundings. He grabbed onto those sensations and pulled them to him. They had become an anchor holding him to the here and now.

He buried his head into the soft hair and inhaled. His heart calmed, his breathing restarted. He held onto that sensation with everything he had.

Laura felt Robbie relax into her. She didn't know what had happened but she held onto it. Grasping at him, keeping him as close as she could.

They stood outside wrapped around one another. Each took strength from the other. Robbie was the first to pull away. He looked down at her worried face and knew that he couldn't do this. He couldn't put her through this, he couldn't risk losing her. He dropped his arms and stepped away from her, needing physical distance, mental distance.

Laura looked at him, confused by what just happened. She reached for his arm and was startled when he shrugged her off, "Robbie, are you OK?"

Keeping his back to her, he answered brusquely, "I'm fine Laura. I just don't think this is a good idea."

"What's not a good idea? Dinner? A hug? A good friend worried about you?"

"What's going on between us?"

Laura shook her head, more confused than ever, "What do you mean what's going on between us? I wasn't aware anything was going on between us."

He turned to her and she could see the anger in his eyes, "Isn't there? Hasn't that been the point of our dinners? Wasn't that the point of our weekend getaway?"

She took a step back and lowered her head. Panic filled her as the realization that he didn't want this, didn't want her, overtook her. She looked up at him tears brimming in her eyes. "Yes," she nodded at him as one solitary tear fell down her cheek.

Robbie's heart broke as he saw her shatter. He had wanted to push her away to make her hate him so this would be easier. But as that tear fell down her cheek he realized that he could never do that, "I can't do this Laura. I stood outside watching you and all I could think was that I almost lost you. That I've lost everyone that's ever cared for me. Val's dead, Alison's dead, you almost died. Maybe I'm the common factor."

Laura reached for him, gripping his arm tightly, "Robbie, that's insane. Val didn't die because of you nor did Alison. I wasn't taken by those twins because of you. You aren't the cause of any of those things."

His head was swimming, he had never been so conflicted in his life. He wanted to pull her closer to him but he knew he had to push her away. He reached over and pried her hand from his arm, "I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I would rather push you away than pull you closer and risk everything." He looked down at her and saw her marshalling her thoughts, "Please Laura, don't, this is hard enough."

She looked up at him, tears flowing down her face. She gently pulled her hand from his and stepped back, "I guess we won't get there after all."

Robbie watched her walk away. He waited until she was out of sight before he turned to walk to his car. It wasn't until he was locked in his flat that the meaning of her last words registered. The grief that overtook him was worse than anything he had felt in a very long time.

A/N - Grief is a very funny thing. It can come back to bite you in the ass at the oddest of moments. It will make you push those closest to you far, far away often in the most unkind ways. Thoughts that would never occur to you under normal circumstances will take root and seem perfectly rational. Don't judge Robbie too harshly, we all know it ends well, eventually.