A guest user left a nice review telling me the chapter was a little screwy, but it's all fixed now. Sorry lol.
Gotta keep reminding myself not to copy and paste from A03.
After about 20 minutes with no interruptions (not even from Cuddy. Strange), House switches the tv off and exits his office and makes his way down to the MRI room, where he finds the patients feet sticking out of the machine and lo and behold Foreman seated in the adjoining room, watching the results on the monitor closely. At the same time, he's speaking into the mic to reassure him and as House passes him, he resists the urge to gently knock one of his feet with his cane to mess up the image.
When the door opens, Foreman just glances his way and House smirks when he takes a look at the screen himself, right as it beeps, "Oh, you're so cold."
Foreman shakes his head as he sits beside him, propping his cane up against the table and says in a sing-song voice, "I'm not playing." He goes to press the speaker button again but House interrupts him.
"What's his name again?" He asks, pointing to the machine with his cane.
"His name is Jack. It was in the file." Foreman ignores him and opens the speaker, putting on a gentle voice, "Keep very still, Jack. This won't take long."
He leans back in his chair and watches the screen, clicking twice to enhance a part of his leg, while House starts spinning his cane between his fingers. After a beat, he looks over at Foreman, "So, a little birdy told me that you and Chase think that Wilson and I play with each-others swords. And by birdy, I mean Cameron. And by swords, I mean our penises."
Foreman snorts, "That how she worded it?"
"Why, you want the unedited version?"
He glances at him, "We were just wondering where you were last night."
"And you and Chase just assumed it had to do with Wilson?" Foreman sighs as he looks at the monitor again and House stops moving his cane around, "Why not a hooker? Or even better, why not Cuddy and a hooker?"
"Well...you guys have been acting pretty weird these last couple days…"
"That's weird, I thought we were playing my game. Remember? The one I told you about this morning? The one that you're currently involved in?"
Foreman tears his gaze from the screen to rest on House, and his voice is firm, "Look, if you and Wilson are seeing each other, and I know it's none of our business - "
House makes a face, "Apparently it is if you're discussing it over dinner - "
"But I want to make sure you know what you're doing." House scoffs. "Wilson's a married man, House."
"You don't think I know that?"
Foreman looks at him evenly, and House rolls his eyes, "We're not doing anything, alright? So stop getting your panties in a wad."
There's a pause as Foreman goes back to the monitor, and House gets the odd feeling that he's keeping something more from him as he sneaks a glance his way. When about 7 seconds've passed, he lets out a breath and waits for Foreman to lean to the microphone again before cutting him off, and practically jamming his finger on the button,
"How much dope do you smoke?"
Jacks voice filters through the speaker, "Who's that?"
Foreman pushes Houses hand away and puts his own finger on it, "My boss, ignore him."
House folds his arms, "Killjoy."
"It's not his lungs, House."
"Never said it was." Goes back to the mic again, much to Foremans chagrin, "What about cigarettes? How'd you quit? Gum? Patches? Hypnosis?"
A beat. Then his voice again, "I didn't really quit. Just sorta lost a taste for it."
House pretends to think that through, "Hm, interesting. Sounds like one of those symptom thingies."
He finally lets his finger off the button and turns to Foreman again, who's frowning at him, "Cameron passed Wilson in the hallway this morning. Said he looked tired and had a cut lip." He gestures to his face. "Wanna tell me how you got the bruise?"
House nods to the monitor, "Aren't we already on a case?"
"House."
"Wow, you really have been talking to Cameron." When Foreman doesn't waver, House pretends to cave, "Fine. The sex might've gotten a little rough."
Foremans eyes narrow and House knows that he has to let something on, "Well, if you're giving me that look…" He sighs heavily, and Foreman isn't sure if he's really contemplating his words or making a show to be dramatic, "Wilson asked me out to dinner and….let's just say I didn't get any that night." His sarcastic tone at the end tells Foreman it's the latter and he raises a brow.
"You guys got in a fight?"
House nods, "The bathrooms. He feels guilty that he can't leave his wife, and so decided to take it out on me. I punched him back, told him to make up his mind, then left."
Foreman's quiet for a bit, then tilts his head, "I could be wrong….but you sound a little too involved in Wilsons romantic life to just be a supportive friend." House doesn't reply, and he smiles knowingly, "You have feelings for him, don't you? You want him to leave his wife."
"His marriage is in shambles. They have this weird belief that if you don't talk to each-other, it'll somehow make the bond stronger. It might be working," He shrugs, "But how would I know? Stacy and I had perfect communication. Well, until she wanted the nurses to chop off my leg while I was in that coma."
"Uh huh…"
House stops speaking for a moment, and he has a quick sense of dejavu with Cameron when he sees Foreman isn't buying this at all. Grabbing his cane, he hauls himself up and limps to his chair, watching the screen for a moment before continuing, and like with Cameron, his voice is soft, "Wilsons happiness is more important to me than anything. Him needing to leave his wife isn't because I want to get him in my pants, but if that's what helps you and Chase sleep at night, then you can go ahead and hold onto that." He gestures to the screen, "You're freezing cold by the way."
With that, he pushes the door open, but Foremans voice stops him from leaving, "What'd Cameron say?"
He glances at the floor, then turns to meet his eyes, "She thinks I'm scared he'll stay with her."
"And are you?"
Houses gaze drops and he brushes Foreman off completely as he limps out the room. But when he gets to Jack, he 'accidentally' knocks his cane against one of his feet, and the movement has him jerk in surprise, making the image on the monitor blurry.
He runs into Cuddy in the clinic, who's going over some patients files at the desk. She's wearing an extremely low-cut top, which's the first thing House comments on,
"Didn't know it was 'bring your twins to work' day."
Cuddy writes something down, then closes the folder and hands it to a nurse, "Shouldn't you be attending to a patient somewhere?"
House smiles, "Already got the kiddies on it." He falls in step (well, as much as you can call it that) beside her as she walks to her office and she looks at him as they go through the doors.
"Why're you here? You avoid the clinic like the plague."
He stands in the middle of the room and watches her go to her desk, "I need a distraction. Ducklings won't stop talking about my wild night out with Wilson, and it's doing my head in."
She sits down and grabs a pen from the holder with a grin, "Yeah, I saw him this morning. Lip seems a bit cut up. You get him in the middle of a bar fight?"
"I think just a fight will suffice."
Like that, she stops writing and looks up at him in surprise, "Did something happen between you two?"
Houses voice gets whiny, "Oh, you're not gonna get me to open up too, are you? I've already got Cameron breathing down my neck, and Foreman thinks he has me pinned. Wilson is here, why don't you talk to him?"
"Because I haven't seen him since this morning. Either he's busy with his patients or has locked himself in his office."
"Is there a third option?"
"Is there always a third option?"
House doesn't reply and Cuddy sighs, "Look, whatever's going on with you guys, I need it sorted out ASAP. The last thing this hospital needs is you starting fist fights with heads of departments."
"I agree, I think it needs a bit more than a simple punch to the mouth. Maybe a kick to the groin will get some sense into them."
"I take it Wilson did more damage than just giving you that bruise?" She briefly points to it with her pen and House frowns,
"Are you pointing at my face or my neck?"
"Why would I be poi…." Her question fades off and she drops the pen, her eyes widening as her voice lowers, "Wilson gave you a hickey?!"
House glances at the ceiling, "Third base seemed a bit too soon. I was thinking of saving my virginity for prom night."
She scoffs and puts her hands out, "Okay, now I really don't know what's going on with you two."
Without a beat, he rattles off while Cuddy just stares at him in astonishment, "Wilson has this giant boy crush on me, and he isn't going to leave his wife to follow his heart." He pauses then nods, "Yeah, I think that's the simplified edition. Now if you want the complicated one…"
"Hold on a minute, Wilson likes you? Like, like likes you?"
"Thought the hickey would be a bit of a giveaway."
"And I'm assuming he hasn't told his wife."
"Is that a question? Cause if it is, it's a pretty stupid one."
Cuddy picks up her pen again. She's still trying to get her head around this, "And...you had a fight over it last night? Guessing Wilson punched first."
House puts a hand out in disbelief, "In what world would that happen?"
"Uh, the one where you say something to provoke him?"
"He hasn't even told his wife!"
"And why would that bother you? You're the most self-centered person I know…." Again, her voice trails off and when House realises what she's latched onto, he rolls his eyes, and her smile grows like she's just won the damn lottery, "Unless...you want him to leave her because you like him back!" He puts a hand over his face and she stands up, her face nearly glowing in triumph, "I'm right, aren't I?"
His voice is beyond exasperated, "Why is it so hard for people to just accept that sometimes friends just want their friends to be happy?"
"Because, House, friends don't do what you and Wilson did last night unless there was something else going on! Wanting your friend to be happy is one thing. Putting your friends happiness above your own is another. But making out with your friend then punching them because they won't leave their spouse is an entirely different ballgame."
House lets Cuddys words slowly wash over him as he looks at the carpet and he hears her give a very long, drawn out, 'i'm done with this' sigh, making him look up at her. She's back in her seat with her elbow on the desk, and her chin in hand, but her smile's still slightly lifted and she has a funny glint in her eye,
"What did Cameron say when you told her what happened?"
House pretends to go back over it in his head, "She thinks I'm still going to see Wilson behind Julies back."
"And Foreman?"
"He didn't believe me when I said I just want him to be happy."
Cuddy sees his face and nods almost to confirm it to herself, "You haven't told Chase yet?"
House shrugs, "He'll probably think the same thing as you three."
"But you're still going to?"
He moves to the door, "No harm in a fourth opinion." As he's about to go, Cuddy calls him back, a folder in her hand,
"You still want to see a few patients?"
His mouth falls open in shock, "Cuddy, are you insane? I can't afford a distraction right now. Got way too much to think about!" And he disappears out the office, with Cuddy smiling after him.