(Jenny's POV)
It's another day and another mission for me and the MI High team. We're at the Cliff Hotel and Spa in Cardigan, in Wales, where a source have told us that SKUL are planning to steal a special youth treatment. Why they want the formula is anyone's guess but the team and I are assigned to stop them. Oscar and I are disguised as pool boys (with me disguised with a fake moustache) and Rose and Carrie are disguised as the gardeners.
Oscar and I are busy sweeping near the pool when a woman screaming at the top of her lungs startles us. "I demand to see Madame LeClère! I want to see her right now!"
Everybody in and around the pool area looks up to see an eerily pale-skinned woman dressed in a black leather trench with a short red dress underneath, a houndstooth scarf, black leather ankle boots, dark glasses, silver hoop earrings and black fedora making her way to the hotel.
"I think we may have found our SKUL agent," I whisper to Oscar. He nods in response.
One of the spa staff members – a tall, red-haired woman – approaches the woman. "Can I help you, miss?" she asks.
"My name is Ada Greer," the demanding woman replies, "and I want to Madame LeClère immediately!"
"Very well, Miss Greer. If you care to follow me, I'll take you to her office."
As the two women walk inside, Oscar pushes back a section of the broom's handle, revealing a hidden microphone inside.
"The SKUL agent has entered the building," he reports to Frank who is back in HQ in London.
"Roger that, Oscar," says Frank. "Be careful when approaching them – they could be armed."
"Ten-four." Oscar puts the broom handle back in in place. "Let's go," he tells me.
We set our brooms aside and make out way to the back of the hotel. We head up the two long flights of stairs of the fire escape, walk across the platform to a door. This is no handle to open the door – must be one of those push-bar door – so I reach into my pocket and take out my Laser Lipstick. I remove the lid and use the device to cut through the hinges. When I'm finished, Oscar and I pull the door away from the frame and set it aside, and then enter the hotel.
We go down the corridor towards the manager's office, creeping past the rows of doors. There are no cleaners on this floor – but it won't be long before someone comes out and sees the fire exit door off its hinges. The only sound comes from our shoes sliding over the carpet as Oscar and I stay close to the walls and turn the corner.
A gold-plated sign at the door reads MADAME FANNY LECLÈRE. Oscar and I glide towards the door. We can hear Madame LeClère and Greer having a screaming match and trading insults.
"Ladies, ladies, control yourselves!" a male voice intervenes, trying to defuse the situation. "May I remind you two that both parties had agreed to look the other's youth treatment formulas?"
After a second or two of silence, the rustling sound of papers can be heard.
"My formula has been in my family's keep for generations," Madame LeClère says with a French accent.
"I'm sure it has," Greer replies. "Here's the formula."
There is a little silence.
"I do not understand," says Madame LeClère. "Where is the formula you promised me?"
I hear the SKUL agent laugh. "You stupid woman," she says. "There is no formula. That was just a ruse to get you to hand yours over. And now that you have… you are of no use to me."
"It's time to make our entrance," I tell Oscar. We use our watches to change into our spy outfits and burst through the door. Greer has removed her fedora, revealing her light brown hair that falls down her back. Her sunglasses are gone, too, revealing her pale blue eyes.
"You may have to eat your own threat!" Oscar cautions the woman.
"Eat this!" she yells, spinning around. She has a gun in her hand!
"Get down!" I yell, moments before Greer shoots. Oscar and I dive to the ground and crawl to the sofa. We stay on our stomachs and cover our heads as the SKUL agent fires into the sofa and neither of us move until the pistol is emptied of all sixteen rounds. I peek from behind the sofa and see Madame LeClère leaping across the desk to get her formula back from Greer. However the French woman is knocked out by the barrel of a gun wielded by the SKUL agent.
"Madame LeClère!" the man cries, crawling over to her while Greer uses a chair to smash the window – and then jumps through it!
Oscar and I head for the window and see the SKUL agent land safely on the ground – using her scarf as a parachute!
Talk about improvisation.
"Let's go, Oscar!" I say. We jump out of the window – and land with a bounce, thanks to the Spring-Equipped Shoes we were given before the mission, and we chase after Greer.
As we approach the pool area, two SKUL agents burst out from a shrubbery, stopping us in our tracks. They bring out their guns and point them at us, causing the people who are in and around the pool to scatter, screaming.
"It's the end of the line for you two meddling brats!" says one of the agents with an evil grin. And before the SKUL agents can shoot us, a forceful shot of water blasts the agents into the pool.
"Huh?" Oscar and I say confused, as we watch the henchmen come to the surface, coughing and spluttering, wondering what happened themselves.
"Ahem!"
We turn to see Carrie holding a fire hose. "Those two looked like they needed cooling down," she says with a smile.
I give a chuckle at her comment. "Thanks, Carrie."
"No problem. You two better get after that SKUL agent as Rose is going after her by herself, while I'll stay here and call MI9 to pick up those two knuckleheads."
"Thanks again, Carrie," says Oscar, and we take off again.
We run across the golf course where we can see several yards up the green Rose chasing after Greer.
"There's no way we'll reach her in time!" Oscar pants.
"Not if we use the Spring-Equipped Shoes we will," I reply. We activate the shoes and we start to jump and bounce across the golf course. We manage to reach Rose and Greer in no time, which is fortunate because Greer has hit a dead end – she is cornered by Rose at the edge of a cliff.
Oscar and I stop bouncing and rush over to Rose's side. "There's nowhere to go," she says. "So how about making this easy by coming quietly, OK?"
Greer looks down the cliff and then to me, Rose and Oscar. With a smirk on her face, she leaps off the cliff.
"No!" I exclaim, with Rose gasping and Oscar too stunned by what he saw. The SKUL agent would rather die than be arrested.
The three of us head to the spot where Greer jumped off – and take a few steps back as we get the shock of our lives. A large commercial snowmobile fitted with anti-gravitational technology is hovering up, with a strange-looking man with long, greasy brown hair, and shabby and untidy facial hair, wearing baggy grey trousers and a loose-fitting khaki jacket with a white-stained shirt underneath, leaning over the handlebars. And sitting behind him with their arms wrapped around his waist is… SKUL Agent Greer!
Talk about a well-timed leap.
"I don't believe it! She's alive!" Rose exclaims.
"No way!" Oscar gasps.
"Greer must have had this set up when she arrived here," I deduce. "She's been one step ahead of us the whole time."
Upon seeing the look on our faces, the scruffy-looking rider tosses his head and smirks while Greer pulls down one lower eyelid and sticks out her tongue, saying, "Nyaaaah!" (Real bloody mature) as she and the mystery mangy rider zoom off through the skies on their hover snowmobile – along with the youth treatment formula.
"Great," Oscar says sarcastically. "We lost the formula and the SKUL agent."
"Stark isn't going to be happy about this," says Rose.
"Well, Stark can kiss my grits," I say. "Let's see him try and go after a gun-toting, formula-stealing lunatic and her hover snowmobile-driving, hobo boyfriend."
The sound of sirens cuts through the air.
"Looks like we've outstayed our welcome," I say. "Let's get Carrie and get out of here – there's nothing more we can do now."
Before anyone can move, I can see a helicopter appearing from behind the hotel. It's black, a lightweight, twin-engine aircraft. The helicopter is an AgustaWestland AW109. I can feel the wind pick up as the helicopter makes its descent on the golf course and just as it touches down, the door slides open and Carrie, wearing a headset and sunglasses, is waving at us.
"Wow. MI9 don't waste any time," I say, amazed by how quickly they responded to Carrie's call. "Let's go, guys!"
The three of us run across the course and towards the helicopter. Carrie puts out her hand to help Rose in, then me, then Oscar. We fall into our seats, the two SKUL henchmen behind us in handcuffs, along with an MI9 agent sitting between them, and I pull the door shut and put on my own headset as the pilot rises back into the sky and takes us back to London.
(Frank's POV)
Stark and I are standing on the roof of Thames House, waiting for the team to arrive. I received a text from Jen saying that the SKUL agent escaped with the youth treatment formula. When I told Stark, he went into his usual rant about how ineffective the team are in letting the agent get away. I just rolled my eyes and continue to wait for the others.
But it's not all bad news – less than an hour ago, a package arrived at HQ containing a DVD and a note saying that there's a connection to Madame LeClère's youth formula and SKUL. Stark and I watched the DVD – it's an advertisement for a business called the Ageless Care Spa. The advert features celebrities who, according to the note, are endorsing the spa for free and is a subsidiary of a company called Frontier Corporation – a mundane front for SKUL.
But I'm still unsure about their motives.
"Oh, where are they?" says Stark, looking at his watch for the umpteenth time. "They should be here by now. Who knows what SKUL will do now that they got the formula."
"I'm sure they'll be here," I tell him – and right on cue, a helicopter swings round over our heads, its blades beating at the air. Four ropes drop from the aircraft, and the team descend from the helicopter to the ground.
"Hi!" says Jenny, coming up to me and Stark. "And I know that the rappelling from the helicopter looked impractical and unnecessary, but at the same time it's a much more fun way to make an entrance."
"And she's right – it was awesome," says Carrie, with Rose and Oscar nodding in agreement.
Stark rolls his eyes like he's having some kind of stroke. "Whatever," he sighs. "Can we just get this over with?"
"Whatever," Jenny mouths, forming the letter 'W' using the thumb and forefinger of both of her hands, the minute Stark's back is turned, which makes me smile. I put my arm around her shoulders and along with the team; the five of us follow Stark back into the building.
We go into one of the offices, where the commercial DVD is sitting on the table. The team take a seat while Stark and I stand in front of the flat screen TV.
"Team," I begin, "while you were in Wales on your assignment, a DVD arrived at HQ relating the connection to SKUL and the youth formula that they stole. This advert will explain."
Stark slips the disc into the DVD player and plays the advert for the Ageless Care Spa.
"Hey, that's Jasmine Allen – the hottest and most popular actress on the block," says Jenny, when she sees the attractive woman with blonde hair and fair complexion.
"And that's Maddock Maddocks," says Oscar upon seeing the tall, muscular man with broad shoulders and dark hair. "He's captain of the London Welsh Rugby Football Club – and the highest paid player in history of the sport."
"Not to mention the most handsome," Carrie adds, causing Rose to shake her head.
When the advert finishes, Stark switches off the screen. "We have reason to believe that those two celebrities are promoting the Ageless Care Spa for free and the spa is part of a company called Frontier Corporation," he explains.
"An obvious business front by SKUL," says Carrie. "But it still doesn't explain why they want a youth treatment formula."
"Maybe they'll do what they did before when they got together with Vanessa Zeitgeist," says Rose. "Instead of renewing looks, the formula will regress the mind, causing people to revert to children, giving SKUL the means to go ahead with any evil schemes, with no-one stopping them."
"Well if that's the cause, we should launch an assault on the spa and steal the formula back," Jenny suggests.
"We could… but unfortunately, Agent Brownstone, you're not in charge of this mission," Stark says. Then he adds with a murmur, "Thank goodness."
"I heard that!" she yells, jumping to her feet.
"Now let's all calm down," I say, acting as peacemaker. "I think rather than assaulting the spa or each other" – I glance to Jenny and Stark – "we should talk to the people who starred in the advert, asking why they endorsed the spa for free."
"Fine by me. The team and I will talk to Jasmine Allen while you and Stark visit Maddock Maddocks."
"Actually, Jen, we have to return to school. Lunchtime is nearly over," says Oscar, looking at his watch.
"Sorry," says Carrie.
"That's OK. Education comes first. I'll just have to see Miss Allen by myself," says Jenny. "Let me drop you lot off."
The four of them leave the office, leaving just me and Stark.
"Come on, London, let's set off to see Mr. Maddocks," he says. As he leaves, he adds, "And maybe on the way to seeing him, you might want to think of a way to maintain some kind of control on that loud and reckless girlfriend of yours."
I give Stark a cold glare, but I follow him out of the office and down the corridor.
One of these days, he's gonna get what's coming to him.
(Jenny's POV)
I arrive at Pinewood Studios in Buckinghamshire after dropping off Oscar, Rose and Carrie at St Hope's. Zeke is also with me. I was about to call him to get Jasmine Allen's location when I spotted him on our way out of HQ. Upon seeing Rose, he decided to tag along and spend the first part of the journey flirting with her. After I dropped the team off I asked if he wanted to get back to MI9 to continue his research and gadget building, but he declined and said that he wanted to hang with me as it's been a while since we last did that – and he always wanted to see me in action. I explained to him the mission that is happening, how the team and I were in Wales to stop a SKUL agent from getting their hands on the youth treatment formula – and failed – how Stark continues to be a pain in the arse, how two celebrities are endorsing a spa under a false business for free and how I was on my way to asking Zeke to get me the location of Allen so I could have a talk with her. And typical of Zeke, he hacks into the actress's Twitter account to get her location based on her last tweet, which is Pinewood Studios.
When we reach the checkpoint, Zeke and I flash our MI9 keycards at the uniformed security guard and ask where Allen is. After the guard tells us, he lets us through. Zeke and I gaze in awe as we drive through the famous studio, watching actors, directors, production crew and extras go about their business. This is one of the many reasons I love being a spy – going to all the really cool places you never thought you could get into as a regular person.
We stop at the 007 Stage of Pinewood where Allen is in the middle of filming for an upcoming movie called Rogahq Wilderness. "OK, this is the place," I say. "But before we go, let me change into something that makes me look a little less conspicuous."
I use my watch-communicator to change into an outfit that's casual yet trendy at the same time. Dark jeans, a smart black blazer with a hot pink sleeveless shirt underneath and stylish black boots show I'm ready for business – and the sunglasses are perfect for sleuthing.
"Now I'm ready," I say. "Let's roll."
Zeke and I jump out of the car and make our way to the stage. When we approach security, we flash our keycards and we're gained entry. What we see makes us gasp in amazement!
It's pandemonium! Actors are pacing up and down practising their lines, production crew rushing back and forth with props, and costumes and wigs being tried and exchanged in every corner. The set looks like the Amazon – the grassy veldts and savannahs, and the thick, treacherous jungle. There are also animals on the set – snakes, monkeys and apes, colourful birds… even elephants!
"No words… can describe… the experience… of being… at on a real live movie set," Zeke says in an awed whisper. "It's… unbe-credi-tastic."
"That's not even a word," I whisper back. "Anyway, we're not here for a film tour. We're here to speak to Jasmine… oh, my God, is that Alexander Skarsgård?"
I stare open-mouthed and wonderstruck as the handsome actor walks past, talking to one of the production team. But I'm drooling in wonderstruck as Alexander is wearing a leopard skin loincloth and no shirt. His chest is sculpted, his abs is toned and his stomach is firm. If I was a cartoon character, a heart symbol would be pounding out of my chest.
"Wow," I sigh dreamily. "He is fabu-hunka-gorgeous."
"That's not even a word," Zeke says in a teasing voice – but I'm barely listening as I'm too busy wondering if there's anything underneath the loincloth.
"Excuse me!" says a voice, bringing me out of my daydream. We turn to face a woman with short raven hair and blue eyes. "This set is for film crew and cast. I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."
"And we will – after we've spoken to Jasmine Allen," I say, flashing my MI9 keycard. "If you would could you take us to her?"
After examining our keycards thoroughly, the woman leads me and Zeke across the jungle set to an African village set, where Allen is. I spot the actress having her makeup done up by a stylist. Allen is on the petite side, and slender – if not a bit chubby. She is fair-skinned, and has a rosy glow to her cheeks rather than being eerily pale. Her complexion can be described as peachy pale or porcelain-like. Her blonde hair is in a tall up-do (when I saw her in the advert her hair is long and wavy, resting at the waist), and she has pouty, pink lips. She has gentle, blue eyes that are almond-shaped rather than cat-like. She's the definition of an English Rose.
She's wearing a dress that is made of leopard skin fur (I'm hoping it's fake), resembling a bikini and looks like it's handmade due to the torn edges, and her body is covered in ceremonial paint. She has a little golden crown resting on a white skull in her hair. She also has golden bracelets on her wrists, the upper parts of her arms, the lower part of her right leg, and the upper part of her left leg.
Before Zeke and I can get nearer to Allen, the raven-haired woman stops us and tells us to wait. She goes over to the actress and whispers in her ear and points at us. Allen looks up at us. She waves away the raven woman and the stylist, and makes her way over to us.
"I hear that you wanted to speak to me," she says.
"That's right, Miss Allen," I say. "We're from MI9. I'm Agent Brownstone and that's Agent Williams," – I nod to Zeke.
"Hi," he says. "Even though I'm just hearing about you now, can I just say that I am your biggest fan?"
Allen smiles sweetly at Zeke, baring her perfect, dazzling white teeth. "Aw, that's very kind of you. But from what my assistant told me, you two are not here just for an autograph."
"No, we are not," I say. "We're here to ask you about the recent advert you did for the Ageless Care Spa."
The smile is soon wiped off Allen's face. "What about it?" she asks.
"I was wondering why you would promote the spa for free. You're a very popular actress – as well as the highest earning within the last six months. You would think that doing an advert with your status you would be asking for something that's in the six or seven figure category."
There is a long pause.
"I don't need to give you a reason about why I endorsed the spa for free," Allen tells me, narrowing her eyes. "I think we're done here – I'm needed on set." And with that, the blonde-haired actress turns and leaves.
"Well… that went well," says Zeke after a brief silence. "So what do we do now?"
"We have two options," I say. "We could either go home and let Stark curse and rant about why we let some titchy actress not answer our questions and he annoys me so much I will punch him into the middle of next week. Or we stay here and not move until the titchy actress answers our questions."
"Hmm. I like option two better."
"Yes, I thought you would. So that's the plan – we are staying put until we get some answers."
And just as I say these words, a shrill, high-pitched whistle pierces through the air. The sound causes the animals to act wild by giving a loud, harsh, piercing cry. Screams start to echo right round the room as the ground starts to rumble. We turn – and my eyes widen in horror as a herd of elephants of five are rushing forward towards us!
"Oh, my God!" Zeke screams.
I look around to see where we can go to avoid being crushed. I spot a large prop made of wooden scaffolds. "Come on!" I say, grabbing Zeke's wrist and we start running to the prop. We climb up the scaffold, avoiding the stampeding elephants. But the herd damage the side of the prop and we lose our balance and fall from the prop.
"AAARGH!" we scream – and stop when we land on… something soft?
"Huh?" I say, confused. I stare at the stuff that saved me from being splattered. "Hay?"
It seems that a perfectly parked truck filled with hay softened me and Zeke's fall.
"Well, that was lucky," I say, carefully pulling the straw from my hair.
Screams and cries can be heard outside as the elephants have smashed through the walls of the stage and are continuing their rampage across various sets.
"Oh, God, Jen, what do we do?" says Zeke. "We need to stop them before someone gets squished!"
It's there that I see a box of flash grenades. I hop of the back of the truck, rush over to the box and pick up a couple. "These will brighten their day!" I say. "Let's go, Zeke!"
He jumps off the truck and we hurry out of the set and towards the car. I toss Zeke the keys before we pile into the car, slamming the doors. After he starts up the engine, Zeke slams his foot down on the pedal. The car takes off with a lurch as we pursue the elephants, following the path destruction and the screams.
Even though Zeke is driving like a speed demon, he seems fierce and focused, and in total control. I suppose he's done this a million times before given the amount of time he spends playing car-related video games. And it seems that his crazy driving has paid off as we turn a corner and spot the herd of elephants.
"There they are!" I yell. "But we're still far away. You need to put the pedal to the metal, Zeke!"
"You got it!" he replies. He floors it and we head full speed towards the herd. We're tailing behind them until we're right alongside – but not too close.
"Get ready to throw, Jen!" Zeke shouts.
I wind down the window and climb out to perch myself on the car window, praying that I don't fall out, while Zeke keeps the vehicle under control. I take out the two flash grenades from my blazer pocket. I hope I don't miss…
I hurl the first grenade – then the second. They reach the front of the herd, and the blinding flash of light and intensely loud noise directs the elephants away from a commissary and into set number nine, where an Old West film called The Tumbleweed of the Locket is interrupted. (The screaming cowboys and saloon girls running out of the set gave it away.)
I grip for dear life as Zeke hits the brakes, cutting the wheel hard to avoid hitting the commissary in front of us. I mentally sigh in relief that I'm alive. We climb out of the car and sprint to set number nine. When we reach it, we push the door, sliding it shut and trapping the elephants.
Soon the screams are replaced by cheers and applause. Zeke and I have saved Pinewood from ruin. We collapse to the ground, exhausted.
"Boy, that was close," I pant. I pat Zeke on the shoulder. "Nice driving there, Lewis Hamilton."
"Thanks," he replies breathlessly. "And congrats on a well-aimed throw, insert famous sportsperson who has a well-aimed throw."
"Jessica Ennis-Hill – javelin."
We let out tired laughs – but it's soon replaced by disdain as speeding past us in their flashy red sports car… is Jasmine Allen.
"Damn. She got away," I murmur. "That's the second person who has done that today."
"She must have been the one who blew the whistle and caused the elephants to stampede," Zeke deduces. "It's obvious that she knows something."
"Maybe that's why she promoted the spa for free – so SKUL can pay her to keep her mouth shut. That's why she got all antsy. Anyway, since our suspect has got away, we'll have to leave empty-handed – again. Come on – let's head back."
Zeke and I get back on our feet and walk back to the car. We climb back in, with me sliding behind the wheel. Zeke hands me back the keys and I start up the car, and we head out of Pinewood and start the return journey to London.
I just hope Frank and Stark are doing much better than we did.
(Frank's POV)
Stark and I arrive at Old Deer Park in Richmond, home of the London Welsh Rugby Football Club, where it's said that Maddock Maddocks is practising for an upcoming game.
We jump out of the car, remembering the parking spot, and head for the stadium. When we reach security, Stark and I flash our MI9 keycards, and we are instantly let through. We are greeted at the sight of fifteen players having a practise session.
"All right – let's get this thing over and done with," says Stark.
"Shouldn't we wait until they've finished their session?" I ask.
"Oh sure, I'll wait. And by that time, the Grandmaster would have turned Parliament into a giant crèche! Now I'm in charge of this mission and if I say that we're gonna talk to Maddocks, then that's what we're gonna do. In fact, as I'm in charge of this mission, how about you stay here while I talk to Maddocks?"
I take a step back. "Be my guest," I say, holding up my hand as if surrendering, and taking another step back. I watch as Stark walks towards the pitch. There is no point in reasoning with him because he is too conceited and arrogant to listen. And seeing him walk onto the pitch to confront a rugby player and his fourteen teammates' means it's not going to end well.
"Excuse me!" Stark says in a loud voice, stopping the players' practise. "I was wondering if I could speak to Maddock Maddocks."
One of the players steps forward, towering over Stark. Maddocks is a lot taller than when I saw him on the DVD – and a lot muscular, too. He has the build of a comic book superhero – sculpted chest, broad shoulders, narrow waist and washboard abs.
"I'm Maddock Maddocks," he says with a faint but recognizable Welsh lilt. "What do you want?"
I can see that Stark is looking a bit nervous, but he soldiers on. "Ahem, yes. My name is Chief Agent Horatio Stark. I'm from MI9," he says. "I was wondering if I could talk to you in private."
"Hmmmm, no, I don't think so. You don't come onto my rugby pitch and interrupt my practise session to ask if you want to talk to me in private. So, whatever you got to say to me, you can say it right here, right now."
A smile flickers around my mouth as I watch Stark tremble with fear by a six-foot-four, top heavy man. It's about time someone brought Stark down a peg or two. I can't help but dig into my pocket, take out my phone and start to record the events that are unfolding.
"Yes, well," Stark stammers. "I was… I was wondering why…"
"Spit it out, mate, I ain't got all day," Maddocks demands.
"I was wondering why… why you refused payment for endorsing the Ageless Care Spa in an advertisement."
There's a pause.
"So let me get this straight," says Maddocks. "You come onto my pitch to interrupt my practise session to ask why I refused payment for a commercial."
Stark nods as he's too scared to answer.
There's a moment of silence.
Just then, Maddocks' mouth twists into a sneer. "Sure, I'll tell you," he says. "Just let me have a talk with the team for a moment."
He calls his team and they gather in a huddle, talking about something-or-other. Just what exactly are they planning?
After a minute goes by, the rugby players' grunt in approval as they move away and Maddocks is holding a rugby ball in his hands. Then he takes a few running steps back. "Hey, Stark – catch!" he shouts, throwing the ball before Stark can protest.
Stark runs across the pitch – and manages to catch the toss. "I did it! I caught it!" he shouts happily to me. Then he looks up and is horrified as he watches the other players rushing forward to tackle him.
"Aaagh!" screams Stark. He starts running, but he's not fast enough to outrun fifteen rugby players as one of them tackles Stark to the ground – followed immediately by the other players piling on top!
I throw a hand over my mouth, stopping the laugh about to escape as the players get up and Stark is lying squashed flat on the ground like a cartoon character after they've been run over by a steamroller.
"Unnnh…!" he wheezes out.
I can't help but let out a chuckle. Jen will definitely love this.
Suddenly, a whistle gets my attention.
It's Maddocks.
"Oi, you," he starts. "I assume that you work with this joker. I suggest that you and he sling your hooks right now before you'll get more than just a tackle."
I have no qualms in arguing with a big, muscular man and his team, so I shut my phone and rush over to Stark. I take his arm and put it around my shoulder, and then I pull him to his feet. I put my arm around his waist and lead him off the pitch and out of the park. When we get to the car, I gently lay Stark across the back seat. I reach into his pocket to get the keys and hop into the driver's seat. After starting up the car, I back out and head towards the nearest hospital.
xxoOoxx
After I dropped Stark off at the hospital, I return to St Hope's and call on the team to stop by after school. And immediately after that, I send the video of Stark getting tackled and flattened by the London Welsh rugby players to their phones. By the time they've arrived, they all entered HQ in fits of laughter.
And ten minutes later, they're still laughing.
"Hahahaha! Oh, my God, this is hilarious!" Jenny exclaims after she watches the footage for the sixth time in a row. "I can't believe you got this on film. You are the absolute best!"
I grin. "Thanks," I reply.
"I can watch this video over and over again and never get tired of it," says Rose.
"Neither can I. I especially love the wheezing bit at the end. He sounds like Loki after the Hulk threw him around like a ragdoll in Avengers Assemble," says Zeke. "I'm gonna email this to everybody in MI9."
"I'm gonna upload it to YouTube," Oscar announces.
"I'm gonna send this to You've Been Framed!," Carrie declares. "£250, here I come."
"And you can do all that after we're finished with our mission," I say. "Now as I was saying, Stark received numerous injuries after being tackled – including a concussion, fractured bones, dislocated fingers and elbows, cuts, sprained ligaments, and muscles and deep muscle bruises. So while he's recovering, I'm in charge."
"Looks like we had a lucky escape then, Zeke," Jenny says. "We could have been the ones who could have been flattened like pancakes by rugby players while Frank and Stark could've been chasing after a herd of elephants on a movie set."
"Ah, what? You were on a movie set?" Carrie says, disappointed. "I sat through boring double English with Mrs King while you and Zeke were brushing shoulders with celebrities."
"And chasing elephants, Carrie – don't forget that," Jenny adds. "Also, you don't find my lesson that boring, do you?"
"Only when Mrs King or any other teacher is covering for you."
"Er, guys? Can you focus, please?" I say.
"Sorry."
"Sorry, Frank," says Jenny. "Anyway, it's obvious that Allen is hiding something, which is why she distracted us by causing the elephants to run rampage so she can escape."
"And I have no idea where she is," says Zeke "She hasn't been on any of her social networking sites for the last few hours. She's made some calls – and I've got the feeling that it's to SKUL because I couldn't for the life of me trace that call. So either I'm getting sloppy or SKUL's tech is getting better."
"So we've got one aggressive rugby player and an AWOL actress who are not talking," says Rose. "So what now?"
"We take the direct approach – we visit the spa," I say. "While Stark and I were on our way to see Maddocks, I sent a text to an agent in MI9 who owes me a favour to watch the spa – and he's reported that Maddocks and Allen work out there. As tomorrow is a Saturday, I'm hoping no-one has plans; because I've booked an appointment with the spa so we can go there to investigate without arousing suspicion."
"Ooh, I always wanted to go to a spa!" Jenny says excitedly, clapping. "I can definitely do with some R&R."
"And it'll be nice to get myself all pampered up," Carrie adds.
"Even though this is my first mission as a field agent, it's the best one ever!" says Zeke.
As the three get giddy with excitement, Rose, Oscar and I watch in bewilderment.
"I think that's English for they don't have plans tomorrow," says Rose. "And neither do me or Oscar."
He nods in agreement.
"Right, it's settled," I say. "We'll meet outside Knightsbridge tube station tomorrow at noon and head to the spa together. That's it for today – you're dismissed."
And with that, we exit HQ and out of the school, with Rose, Oscar and Carrie going in one direction and me, Jenny and Zeke going the opposite as we get ready for tomorrow.